Outdoorsy Shite Top Trumps: March

[Slubberdegullion]

Flora or Fauna.

Extra points for a photo.

Handicap will apply to those in Forrin. Monthly win will not automatically go to, for example, a Cougar spot. The Cougar will need to be doing something awesome, like fighting a bear or doing sudoku.

2 greater spotted woodpeckers on our nut feeder today and a tawny owl sitting on the gate post as I drove up our lane tonight

I think TBE should get top scene-jazzing/diorama points for the anti-tank cubes. They set the sparrowhawk off very nicely indeed.

I saw an Oyser Catcher on top of the Pennines yesterday,which confused me somewhat as I normally see them in Anglesey.

Oyster

That is a very odd place for an oyster catcher, given the moderately severe scarcity of oysters on every Pennine I've been on.

I'm going to have gimlet eyes on my dog walk this morning. I am absolutely determined to make an all-trumping nature spot.

It is too rainy here for my planned walk. From my coffee shop window, though, I can see a SPANIEL.

I saw a Spaniel on my walk this morning, and a horse.

Both mine

Of course, they saw a bear.

I saw not one single living soul except a pheasant that ran a full 100 yards along the path in front of me without remembering that it could fly. Can we have bonus points for animal stupidity?

I was upset on my walk as the local council were chopping down some huge big evergreen trees in which I frequently see siskins.

Bastards

But I saw at least 200 this morning and they were taking off and circling in a thermal to get altitude! It was amazing.

You are all just jealous.

No I we are not

Northey I have been laughing quietly to myself at odd spots throughout the day at teen cow Janine and tragic Barry the calf

I will go and visit their field later, slubber. See what's occurred. That slapper cow mother has probably run off with a pony.

Today I saw a poster listing all the thrilling birds that have been spotted near the allotments. I wandered around for an hour an saw two sparrows and a blackbird.

A CORMARANT. Quite close it was too.

That's proper nature that is. Even the dog was impresssed

Well. Slapper cow mother was gone. So teen cow and tragic calf will have to make an uneasy home together.

I saw some very new and tiny lambs, with wiggly ears and little pink tongues, one of whom ignored his mother's insistent bleating and frisked up to within a metre of me for a proper look! Oh it was sweet. It just stood and gave little lamb bleats.

Where was te cormorant, slubber? And did it come up to you and show you its little pink tongue?

No it did not. [folds arms]

It was flying by as I walked along by the river. Big it was, and black, and cormoranty, and wary of humans in a very real and outdoorsy shite fashion.

Wee lambs are very sweet but ten a penny round here.
[ner]

Wonder where slapped cow has gone? Maybe driven into a canal by psychotic dh

Slapperrrrrr cow. Not slapped cow. that's next week

Miss, miss, I saw an otter eating a fish on the mud by the river this week and two drunk grown ups kissing on a bench and a very small duck with a red frond on his head. Does seeing a starfish being eaten by a whippet count for anything?

Fucking otter trumps cormorant.
What was that, like 5 minutes of nature spot revelry before you come along with your stupid otter losty .

And you cannot just say duck with frond. You have to identify it first before you can play with it. Sheesh. You,re as bad as Cavey and her clouds.

What was starfish dog poo like then?

saw a cormorant too, and a white little egret and a herron

Do I have to declare living in a National Park, it's probably a little bit like forrin' for giving me an advantage?

Starfish vomit slubber, not poo

This is the problem, you see. We need some kind of nationwide objective list of nature trump rankings. Cormorants do not trump lambs for me .

Though an otter does trump both, which is a nice way to sidestep the unseemly wrangle which might otherwise have ensued.

Right losty, you so have a handicap slapped on your spots from henceforth.

Maybe Matt Baker can come do a web chat and give some sort of loose format for trump rankings.

and a cormorant does so trump a lamb but I'm just going to rise above the whole thing, magestically, like a cormorant

What points do I get for my snogging grownups then? It is a very naice area and I'm not used to drunk people before 8am

Lambs are 10 a penny round here (quite literally the way the markets are) you can't move without falling over a bunch of the little buggers baaaing away and making me think of crispy skin and mint sauce

Cormorants are ten a penny round my way. A cormorant ate all the goldfish in our pond a few years ago. Or more charitably I should say that he/she took them for her/his young ones, since it was during the breeding season. I imagined its nest looking a bit like the day after a children's birthday party, with all the leftover goldfish bits looking like the sad fragments of burst balloons.

heheheheh crispy skin mmmmm
I'm doing stuffed lambs hearts this w/e [random foody aside]

NO points for snoggers. None.