Coping without pets.

[henlake7]

How do you manage?
I had my baby pts on Friday, he was 14 and had cancer. It was only 2 mths since diagnosis but he had lost loads of weight, didn't want walks and was only eating small amounts of chicken. Also he developed a large ascites (fluid in his abdomen) which meant his breathing was fast and he had trouble getting comfortable when he slept.
The vet suggested water tablets or draining the fluid but given his age and how aggressive the cancer seemed to be I opted to pts rather then prolong his discomfort until it turned into pain. I feel guilty that it was too soon, which is ridiculous as I feel guilty with my previous two dogs as I felt I was too late!

I live alone so now I'm sat here in a silent empty house wondering how people cope? Lived here nearly 30 yrs and it's the first time I've ever been completely alone and it's horrible.
I know some people get new pets sooner but I really cant. I lost all 3 of my dogs in the last year and even my very last pet (an elderly corn snake) died the day after Alf was pts. It still feels unreal and my brain is numb, do you adjust to an empty house?

I’m so sorry for your loss, OP. There’s a saying ‘better a week too soon than a day too late’ which I definitely think applies here, you did the best thing for him.

I can’t comment on coping without, as I’ve had a new rescue within a week of losing each of my dogs. The first time, I wondered if it was too soon, but I had the space, the love to give, and the need of company. I’m not suggesting you do that- you’ve already said you can’t.

Maybe have a radio with a timer so that when you get up in the morning there’s some background noise? So the house isn’t so quiet? My DM did this after DF died, she was used to hearing him make a racket in the kitchen and hated the silence.

I'm really sorry. It's horrible. You need to get out and keep as busy as possible. Hugs.

I’m sorry - it’s devastating. For the first three months I ended up never going downstairs in the evening as that’s when I’d be with my girl. I emptied and cleared cupboards, reorganised everything etc, put music on and just allowed myself to cry. Sending love x

Hi op.

It's tough but pets are an enormous investment in time and cash.

I have a toy dog lol. One of those hand warmers you put on the microwave. Also I go out for walks near me and there is invariably a dog out for a walk with it's owner.

So I get to pet lots of different dogs and chat to their owner won win.

Sometimes you have to flip the narrative to I have a dog to there are lots of lovely dogs out there who like an ear scratch .

Also I find if I focus on the negatives of dog ownership. Like the teeth brushing nail clipping and some other dog owners had badly behaved dogs and this would often spoil our walk somewhat.

Hope this helps. Xxx

Ps don't be ashamed of grieving.

It's going to take as long as it takes.

Tell me. Do you have any hobbies sweet thing?

Op that's a lot of grief in a short time.

I'll pray for you. Xx

I can recommend Silverline if you are over 55.

The lasses there are absolutely fabulous and you could talk with them about Alf. Xxx hugs out.

Can I just say one more thing.

I'd made the decision to euthanasise my dog.

And we all know how traumatic that is.

So we rocked up, it took support but the vet, and I'm sure they likely have to say this started on about. Am I sure I want to go through with it.

If it hadn't been for my vicar in the weeks leading up to the decision gently reminding me that my dog was actually just a dog I would have likely been in turmoil. Dog was v ill. I kept putting it off.

I'm just saying I thought that that question at that time was unnecessary. I really feel for people who have pets to the vets at that time.

You did the right thing. Xx

Thanks everyone. Ive already cleaned the house from top to bottom to take my mind off things and I used to go to the cinema in the day quite often but stopped when Alf got ill as I felt I wanted to spend more time with him.
At least now I wont feel guilty going out and doing things outside the home.
Im trying to get back into my exercise and walking routine (all 3 dogs needed much less walking then I would normally do this last year).
Night time is the worse....Ive actually put a similar sized cuddly toy on the sofa and in bed with me where he sat so it doesnt feel quite so lonely!

I know though....its just getting through it and adjusting. I had them for 14, 16 and 17 yrs so they all got to old age. As much as it hurts it was worth it to have them all those years.

I also live alone and my dog was pts earlier this year. However, I only had one dog (though he was big and chaotic!) and he was also my first pet so I'd had an empty house before - I think my situation is very different to you losing 3 within a year and not having lived alone for 30 years. That's tough and it'll take you a while to readjust.

I've been doing some things that I couldn't easily do when I had my dog like going away for a weekend or visiting places I couldn't take my dog. I've also started volunteering at a local rehoming centre.

Re if you pts too soon, I don't think so from what you described. I think you made a brave decision for him. I'm also a big believer in the better a week (or even month) too soon than a day too late. But if the vet thought it was too early then I don't think they would have euthanised him.

I had my greyhound PTS in January this year. I had her for over 15 years, which was a third of my life.
I am not going to lie here. I am still struggling. The house is so quiet. I miss every damn thing about her.