Ex wants to rehome dogs

[Anonymouslysaddened]

I'm divorced from my ex, and we share 3 dogs together. The dogs live with me and I ask that he helps out with dog care when he has our child. I stay at my boyfriend's house as he is unable to get to me. This has worked well, but now he's saying he's not doing this much longer and they need to be rehomed or he will walk away and report me to the RSPCA for neglect.

I work full time, and have around a 1.5 hour commute. My teenage son is there when not at school, and my adult son pops in sometimes.

I'm numb and don't know what to do for the best.

I really feel for you and I was glad to read your update. Fwiw you are doing great to juggle so much. I was in a very similar situation to you with all the responsibility for everything, teenagers, dog, huge commute, could never rely on my ex although he would interfere or sabotage whenever the opportunity arose. Keep getting on through each day, you will look back and realise how far you’ve come. Hopefully the boyfriend is a nice addition to your life, you deserve to have some fun in amongst all the stress! And enjoy your dogs all to yourself. Your ex doesn’t deserve them anyway.

How could you pick a bf over a 12 year old dog?

Sorry seen your update, no man would ever come before a dog I had before meeting him

I can’t believe you’ve made me into ‘team ex husband’ why should he come care for the dogs you retained so you can go sleep with your new bf. You’re asking a huge time commitment from
himmto facilitate your bfs schedule and refusal to travel

I believe they are dogs that they bought together, but that has now been left for OP to look after 90% of the time.

Just tell your ex that the dogs are provided with food water, shelter and exercise and you have no intention of removing them. If he theaters RSPCA send him a 👍 and good luck with that.

Also, id change my locks. You dont want him going in and taking the while you are out.

The ex left @Anonymouslysaddened, the kids and the dogs to hook up with OW. He isnt a saint in this.

Fair enough! I think I’ve missed that in the posts! I was slightly lost by the assumption he should be doing it to facilitate the new relationship.

It will be an unpopular opinion, but I would never let any relationship make me give up my animals. They're not with us forever..I mean your new one not your ex..

Forget about the time with your boyfriend your dogs are being left all day for hours. The longest they should ever be left is four hours. You need to prioritise the dogs and get a dog Walker every day you are at work. The dogs cannot be left alone overnight so boyfriend either comes to yours or you split up. The dogs come first.

i would report you too if the rspca actually did anything. My neighbour is exactly the same as this with elderly doggies. She and husband split up. She’s now left so husband has dogs and kid. He never walked the dogs before and he’s gone 8-10 hours each day. But he’s doing more than her as she’s just moved in with her boyfriend and got a new pet and has the kid half the week. But the dogs have just been abandoned imho, during the summer they were left alone with door open for ten hours each day barking, the poor things.

Me too.

Given the choice I would absolutely put my dog first over some boyfriend who cannot be bothered to visit me at my house and wants me to go to his all the time

Dog flap? Borrow my doggy/rover? Dog walker? Or just someone to let them out. The RSPCA aren’t going to do a thing by the way!

Nobody will want a 16 year old dog.

Absolutely. If being with my boyfriend required me to leave my dogs home alone overnight so that he can spend time with his own dog I would just not see my boyfriend. I cannot for the life of me understand how any man could be worth this much work and sacrifice.

Dogs should come before your new partner. They are your responsibility. If he can’t come to you then it’s not going to work is it. They should be your priority. They have no choice in any of this. You do.

please don’t rehome the 12 year old