When is the right time to put do to sleep?

[juiceyoranges]

My partner has a husky who is coming up to around 14 years old. He is very much attached to the dog and I think he is putting off putting him to sleep because of this attachment. The vet has said that putting him to sleep is probably the best option, but because I guess my partner can’t see pain symptoms as such, he is putting it off.

These are the current symptoms:

He can’t really walk and has very weak back legs.
Getting up is a struggle and he only really moves to go to his food or water bowl, to occasionally move to a different spot in the house, to go outside to toilet - all of this is just a couple metres away.
He will often wet himself.
He doesn’t go on walks anymore.
He does get enjoyment from treats and food.
He sleeps in one spot for most of the day.
He will often start whining and groaning, this typically means he wants his water or food bowl brought to him.
My partner needs to help him to walk often.

I personally don’t think he’s getting much enjoyment out of life and I feel so bad for him. I think my partner is holding on for himself. But I don’t have too much experience with dogs, so I wanted to hear from people who are and when they made the decision to put to sleep.

The dog sounds miserable and your partner needs to step up. It’s the hardest thing we ever have to do for a pet but absolutely the most important. If he can barely move to the point he’s wetting himself, then it’s tipping over into cruelty. If he loves him, it’s time to do the right thing and let him go.

Oh poor boy. It really is the kindest thing you can do for your pet. It’s a tough decision, really tough, but he is obviously struggling hugely now. He will be embarrassed about the incontinence issues and how frustrating it must be not being able
to do the things you love anymore.
There are people who will come to your home and very peacefully put your beloved pet to sleep.
Theres a saying….Better to do it a day early than a day too late.

The vet wouldn't say that lightly. The dog doesn't sound happy at all. You (or your partner) has to do what's best for the dog

When is the right time?
About a month ago, going by that description. Poor dog is obviously in pain and has no quality of life left.
Your partner needs to step up and do the right thing for the dog.

It sounds like the dog has a very poor quality of life. The only thing it sounds like he has any small joy in is food, but some dogs will eat regardless of how much pain they are in so the fact he's eating ok is not an indicator that he's ok. To be blunt, your partner needs to put the dog first - he's responsible for his welfare - and book him in to be pts. It's is not fair to keep them going for us. I made the decision to pts for my dog as soon as I thought the scales were beginning to tip and the bad was beginning to outweigh the good for him. I'd of pts a while ago if that was my dog.

In my experience vets are very reclutant to say it is time. It sounds like it’s well past time.

When struggling to walk and soiling themselves…IF they seem unhappy too.

I know I’ll have to make that decision with my cats, and it will be when I know they are unhappy and are in pain…accidents and being unclean will be a big sign.

I've had 6 dogs across 34 years and putting a much loved dog to sleep is heartbreaking. However, there comes a point where it is kindest to put the dog to sleep because they are ill with no hope of recovery and their symptoms will only get worse; or because their quality of life is poor due to old age deterioration. Your partner's dog is in the latter situation and the vet has already advised your partner that the kindest thing is to put the dog to sleep. Dogs are extremely good at masking pain and may appear to be ok when they are not. I'm going to be brutally honest here and say that no dog of mine would ever have been in the appalling situation that your partner's dog is in right now. In my book, it's mental and physical cruelty bordering on negligence. Your partner needs to put his feelings to one side and do what is right by his dog and have him put to sleep urgently.

The vet is right. It’s time now sadly.

It's always better to do it a few weeks or even months too early, than a few minutes too late.

When the dogs quality of life is reduced, they are in daily pain, then it is time to take on our responsibility as a pet owner and do them the ultimate kindness, before the dog has a traumatic event. Let them go gently with love and dignity.

Thank you all for your thoughts, I am in agreement but like I said, I’m not so experienced with dogs. I’m going to have the conversation with him tomorrow because I can see him dragging this on until poor dog deteriorates further.

I found these questions really helpful:

1. is it curable, and if not
2. is it manageable indefinitely, and if not
3. what more signs of suffering do you need to see before calling time?

It's very easy to underestimate what your dog is going through, partly because they hide it so well but also because it creeps up slowly and you keep recalibrating normal without realising it. If you have any videos or photos of the dog in his prime, or even just before he started to go downhill, it might be worth revisiting them as objectively as you can. I look back now at some of the videos of my dogs towards the end of their lives and I can see clearly that they were much more poorly than I was able to see at the time.

Remember the dog has no sense of a future or life beyond today. He only knows the present, and his present is one of pain and discomfort. Your partner is prolonging the suffering of his dog by waiting. There will never be a better time than now.

Yes that's a good idea. Or maybe get your partner to think of all the things that the dog used to love doing and how many of those have now fallen away eg going for a certain walk, paddling in the river, playing with toys etc

So I did speak to him about this and his response was that if he felt that the dog was really in pain and was for example, making noises like he was in pain such as a yelp, then he would consider putting him down, but he doesn’t think that he’s at that point yet, and he thinks he would know when the time has come for him to do it. I don’t agree with it, but I don’t know his dog like he does so maybe he is right..? I’m not sure what else I can say to him at this point..

Yeah that's not how dogs work, the signs they are in pain are often far more subtle - have a google to get a list. There are multiple signs in your original post that the dog is in pain: struggles to get up, doesn't move much, wets himself, doesn't go on walks, needs help to walk, sleeps a lot, whines and groans (I wouldn't be sure this is him wanting something).

Having said that, sadly it is your partners dog and he has to make that decision. Although, personally, I would find it very hard to respect him with the way he's treating his dog.

The right time has gone by for your partners dog. Poor thing is being kept alive and is suffering 😢

Vets only advise euthanasia when there is no other option and the animal is suffering. Your partner is not a vet. He also doesn't seem to know a lot about dog pain and discomfort. A dog that sleeps most of the time is in pain. A dog that needs help to stand up is in pain. A dog that prefers to wet itself rather than stand up and move is in pain. Panting and rapid breathing are also signs of pain. Rarely does an old dog in pain yelp.

The bottom line is your partner isn't thinking of what's best for his loyal, geriatric dog, he's being extremely selfish and thinking of himself. He is also breaking the law as it's a criminal offence to cause an animal unnecessary suffering under the Animal Welfare Act. The RSPCA have successfully prosecuted people for just this type of situation and frankly if I knew who your partner was I would report him. It's ironic that of the two of you, you're the one showing his dog the most love and consideration.