Recommendations for a first family dog breed

[TheShins]

Can anyone recommend a breed for our first family dog? We have two primary school aged children. We both work a mixture of office/at home so there is rarely a day with nobody in the house. We don't like large breeds or very small breeds. We are prepared to walk a dog twice a day. Ideally, we don't want a dog that sheds or has a tendency to bark a lot or pull too much on a lead as our children will want to join in walking the dog. Any ideas from experienced dog owners? Thanks!

Your sample size of one is not exactly large though is it?

My anecdotal evidence of one dog trumps the poster saying all dogs, as she didn’t provide any evidence. In fact I’ve had four dogs and none of them pulled on the lead. My brother’s lab doesn’t pull, unless he sees a cat, at which point he forgets all his training.

Poodles annd poodle mixes are fab. I got mine when my youngest was in reception (waited until then). All children have now left home and it is just me and the dog now 😁

Bonkers to say dogs and children don’t work 😆 I got mine from a reputable breeder I’d known and followed for years. it’s been a wonderful experience for my children to grow up with a dog. I didn’t want one when they were babies/toddlers, but school age onwards has been great. I can’t imagine their childhoods now without the dog.

But I do think that my “first” dog will be my only dog. As she gets older and older now (nearly 14), I just couldn’t imagine ever having another. The bond is too great to try to replicate.

I don’t think anyone remotely knowledgable about dogs in any way would say ‘poodle crosses are fab’ given how prevalent health issues and animal abuse is in the breeding of them…

• once again, the stats are completely contradictory to the ‘dogs and kids are fab’ thing

A mini schnauzer suits our family. They are meant to bark a lot, but ours doesn't.

Yes, do not get a poodle cross. No reputable breeder, breeds poodle crosses. That tells you everything you need to know.

Apart from anything else regarding the child’s and the dog’s behaviour, having young children is a slog. When you get a dog it’s like having another child, except dogs don’t wear nappies. A puppy wees, poos, bites, chews, cries, barks. Puppies are really hard work.

I’m stunned by some of the comments re primary aged children and dogs.
I was bought up on a dairy farm surrounded by dogs I can’t remember dogs not being a part of my life. As a child I was shy and possibly a bit weird 🤣. Dogs and other animals including horses were so important to me providing unequivocal love in the case of dogs and all animals taught me that their needs are a 24/7 commitment literally come rain or shine snow gale force winds and illness. Children bought up around animals including dogs quickly learn that the attention to detail to successfully care for animals should never be underestimated whether it be dairy cows, farms dogs or competition horse. As I went into my teens I stayed shy and a bit weird but watched my friends drink take drugs etc whilst caring for all my animals including the dogs we owned I believe kept me grounded.
I am now an aging HCP, horses and cows have sadly gone but dogs are still a huge part of my life and yes I work away from the house. Friends who also own dogs regularly comment on my level of dedication to them. At work I have a reputation for commitment and hard working ethos to my patients I think this originated from my childhood living alongside and caring for animals including dogs.
My children were brought up with dogs and horses (who make dogs look like a walk in the park commitment/time wise) like me they have always been in their life. Like me they are aware of what a huge commitment they are. Both interestingly have a reputation for being exceedingly hard working and commitment to their chosen professions. One has a dog again works away from home but his commitment to his dog is exceptional before getting the dog he knew exactly what was involved unsurprising as he’s been round dogs since he was born. The other one loves dogs but aware of what a huge commitment they are knows he just simply doesn’t have the time.
i can see parenting has changed my parents weren’t driving me around to hundred of activities after school (they had cows to milk) or supervising homework. I was horse mad was bought a pony from an early age my parents knew little about ponies TBH. They expected me to read books and discover how to look after it and was I expected to get on with it any problems encountered were my problems I wanted to the dam thing. I believe most importantly animals were treated with kindness consistency and care they were a part of our lives but they were still treated as animals not humans in furry suits. Dogs were basically well behaved, ok not going to obedience classes and Crufts but did what we needed, they slept in the barn at night maybe in the boot room on a very cold night, fed a combination of cheap kibble bought from the farm suppliers and scraps from the table all looked well and lived to great ages (as oldies they got a place by the Rayburn). Dogs were left as needed or accompanied us on the farm as needed. Wednesday was the all important market day all farmers went they sold their stock gossiped with other farmers bought food for the week on market stalls went to the dentist paid their feed accounts went to the barbers etc dogs were left all day no one even thought about it. We didn’t obsess about early socialisation pack theory or not, training classes let alone 1:1 training and frankly till I came on here I never even heard of a dog behaviourist or separation anxiety.
OP research breeds carefully talk to breeders don’t choose a dog for looks or what’s popular be realistic about you house size how much walking you can really do with your children. What sort of dogs do you want some are very needy some more aloof mine are closer to aloofness that suits me. I don’t like slobbering dogs, dogs that snuffle but that me. Be aware animals are a huge commitment but don’t over complicate it. Everyone gets things wrong but as long as you’re not being cruel animals are remarkably forgiving consistency and routine are I believe the key. Your primary aged children will grow up into better people for it.

There’s a massive difference between growing up on a farm surrounded by animals and an urban family, where the children aren’t used to that sort of environment.

There is but primary aged children in urban settings can still have dogs. Some friends at school lived in the local market town ok not London but still rows of houses on streets I reckon 50% of them also had dogs.
The lessons children and adults learn from caring for an animal can be learnt in an urban setting or in the middle of no where. Personally I believe farmers have a more sensible view of their animals including dogs but those in iurbsn settings with primary school children can also have sensible views and with hard work incorporate dogs (and horses) into their family lives and have happy well adjusted pets and children.
Don’t just write people off. IMO there is no such a thing as the perfect home but dogs are remarkably adaptable.

I don’t have much advice on breed, I have a cocker and a golden retriever. They are active and shed everywhere. I also have two primary aged children and the cocker is older than both kids so they have grown up with the dogs.

However a few points:
You mentioned the children want to help walking the dogs, I assume you mean they want to come out on walks with you. I would never let my children hold the lead in a public place there is just too much risk.
A lot of the factors you mentioned are down to training not breed. You need to be able to dedicate serious time to training the dog. I take the younger dog to classes every week and spend time working with her every day. She’s a big dog and I can’t afford for her not to be well trained. I do now get people saying how well trained she is but it’s a lot of hard work.

You also need to spend a lot of time researching and finding the right breeder for whichever breed you choose.

I have an 18 month old golden retriever, who is our first family dog. My kids are teens and he's been perfect for us but sheds, is large and strong and we've put a lot of time into training to make sure he is well mannered. Obvs this breed doesn't fit what you're looking for anyway but i would definitely avoid anything even halfway to this large with younger kids- the strength is quite something. And choose a breeder very carefully - ours has been amazing and continues to remain interested and communicative 18 months on. It's worth waiting for the right breeder is one of the many things I learned. Someone upthread mentioned Tibetan Terriers - several people local to me have them and they are lovely dogs. But they are bouncy as anything, very very agile and high energy. So just be aware of that.

We had dogs before our children were born and all the time through until now, when the children have flown the nest. If the children grow up knowing to respect the dogs all will be well. My PBGV and Collie Cross were in the next room when DS2 was born at home, they met within hours!
Don’t get fixated on a particular breed, we have had three Staffie crosses, a toy poodle and a Poodle chihuahua cross in addition to the PBGV and Collie Cross, all rescue and all nice temperaments.
If you must talk breeds I’d say a miniature poodle is a good bet, low vets fees usually but be prepared for the cost of grooming every 6 weeks or so.

Wow, some of the comments on this thread are insane. So according to Dogsnet now, not only are you not allowed to work out of the home whilst owning a dog you also cannot work FROM home because the dog wouldn’t get enough attention? How are people supposed to actually afford a dog then and its upkeep?

I don’t know anyone who can afford to be unemployed to be at the whims of a dog and frankly, even as puppies, they don’t need it. They need appropriate exercise, stimulation, company and pee breaks, yes. But not constant attention. They are dogs! I WFH and with appropriate exercise and stimulation when not working, my dog has been perfectly content settling and entertaining herself whilst I work since she was four months old. She’s now two. I don’t think she’d actually want me to be mithering her to play/interact all day and she’s a high energy breed.

With regards to children, of course you can have dogs with children as long as you can ensure you can meet the dog’s needs and the dog is a suitable match. The only thing I’d keep in mind with young children is days out- most of these aren’t dog friendly and I can imagine it being difficult to balance dog care with ensuring the children don’t miss out. That and having realistic expectations i.e. not expecting the children to fall head over heels in love instantly (puppies bite and are hard work!), expecting the novelty to wear off and the adults to be doing all the work etc.

In terms of breeds, I think a Miniature or perhaps Standard Poodle could work well or a Tibetan Terrier- it’s not actually a terrier despite its name!

I disagree so strongly that primary aged kids and dogs do not mix, my 6 year old daughter has the best bond with our dog, better than her 4 older brothers. In fact, my youngest 2 are primary aged and the most involved with him. My teenagers are busy and have their own interests so far less involved in our dogs life.

Our boy has just turned 1 year and is fabulous with our children but I think his breed would be too big for what you want. He's a Mmooth Collie (think Lassie without the long hair) and his such a lovely boy and exceptional with kids. His recall around other dogs is still a WIP though and the teenage dog months have been quite full on. I've recently taken a career break and life is far easier now that I am not fitting dog care in around that. I think if you are limited on time , a smaller dog who needs shorter walks would be my recommendation.

Miniature schnauzer. She is a fabulous first dog. Clever, easy to train and judges your life choices with some serious side eye. We wouldn’t be without her now.