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The doghouse

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Original poster

Adopted dog struggling with our life stye

56 replies

Thestarsmayalign · 21/01/2026 01:07

We adopted a dog on trail some weeks ago . The owner was struggling and awaited surgery- which has now been successful. She mostly stayed in .

i did post about some
issues

she has now developed anxiety related colitis as advised by vet today .
-she lived a very quiet life with a lady and the vet says due to our more wide
life it has been producing cortisol in her which has led to
her having
colitis. Its seems excitement etc created this and turned
it into stress.
We are advised that as she is used to a very quiet life this has happened .
She also
has severe separation anxiety as she is used to
being with elderly
owner all
the time .
-she is running on her nerves and is over stimulated by a normal life - we go
out etc on walks which she struggles
with - she gets over exited and beyond herself.

The elderly lady
is now concerned re her well being as she feels
that she cannot adapt and its affecting her …
And has suggested we return her .

As for us , we see her as a lovely dog - but we can see that she really struggles with daily’ normal ‘ life and we do not know what to do for the best

its like the world is too much for her

.My gut i that she would be more settled im her previous home. We tried to adapt to
what she seems to
need , we have , on advice form behaviourist only walked her for
an
hour a day ( apart from we break s) to
let her be rested amd calm and its had a massive impact on our life as Ive not been able to
go
to work
( only a few hours)
.
Conflicted.!

Am aware that it takes
dogs a
while
to
settle but
I am
just
so
unsure
that she can .

i
have no
idea why
the text resorted
this format ! Apologies.

OP posts:
FrothyCothy · 21/01/2026 01:16

If her previous owner is now in a position to have her back it sounds like a positive solution. There will be a more suitable dog out there for your family.

ChevernyRose · 21/01/2026 01:25

FrothyCothy · 21/01/2026 01:16

If her previous owner is now in a position to have her back it sounds like a positive solution. There will be a more suitable dog out there for your family.

I agree

washingmysocks · 21/01/2026 01:43

I adopted a dog like this and there are many things you can do to help reduce their stress - I can now leave him home alone for several hours and take him on walks in quiet places - but it is a long road and you have to be prepared to put a lot of time in. So if that’s not possible maybe it’s not the right fit - also depends on the age of the dog I think as well! If she’s quite old maybe it’s too much change for her.

for now though I wouldn’t be taking her for walks at all, my behaviorist advised two weeks break from walks (doing enrichment activities at home instead) to really bring cortisol down to a starting level (presuming you have a garden she is happy to toilet in of course!). It definitely worked!

BornSlippie · 21/01/2026 02:13

Give her back if her owner is wanting her. Doesn’t sound like you like her to be honest

jamandcustard · 21/01/2026 06:51

Return her to her owner. You’ve posted at least one or two threads about her already and you’re clearly not well suited to each other.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 21/01/2026 06:55

She is obviously missing her previous owner, return her.

Smartiepants79 · 21/01/2026 07:17

Can the previous owner care for her? If so, then she should go back. You’ve tried to do the right thing by helping when she needed a home but it not quite worked out.

mondaytosunday · 21/01/2026 07:50

Why wouldn’t you return her? Rather than trying to get this poor stressed out creature to change just give her what she wants!

Original poster
Thestarsmayalign · 21/01/2026 07:59

washingmysocks
yes that is what we are mow doing.
my concern is that we do have a busy lifestyle - we walk, we travel a lot and live in a very busy tourist hot spot. In the summer it is impossible to find a quite walk unless you get up very early ot late . Its rural but its rammed.
i took her our cosy local last night as been in with her all day .
it was empty and we had a peaceful 5 mins , people drifted in , then it was 3 othe dog s , and all but one table taken ( small olde world pub) .
If i knew she could sdapt and get over this and the separation anxiety id take the lomg road but atm we have been a vats so much , the house is full of poo and i would just like tp see into the future of having some joy am companionship with her .

OP posts:
Idontspeakgermansorry · 21/01/2026 08:02

Why on earth wouldn't you give her back, if her previous owner is now fit to care for her again?

She's clearly not happy living with you and is missing her old life and owner.

Maryberrysbouffant · 21/01/2026 08:13

Just give the flipping dog back fgs.

MotherofPufflings · 21/01/2026 08:23

Returning her to her owner seems like the best solution, but it's so great that you looked after her over this period so she didn't end up in a rehoming centre.

We've adopted a couple of dogs. The first settled very quickly and easily but the second took months (and a huge amount of work and training) to really adapt. We were unprepared for how much work it would be, although it was worth it in the end and we adore him. It was still easier than having a puppy though!

Partiedout · 21/01/2026 08:28

I would give the dog back. It sounds like you've just taken on any dog with an obviously incompatible lifestyle. I would consider whether a dog is the best fit for your family. Most dogs shouldn't be left for a full working day, if this is what you are planning maybe a different pet would be more suitable.

chattyness · 21/01/2026 08:32

Definitely give the dog back to her owner, for the good of the dog's health and your sanity. You'll find a dog better suited to your busy lifestyle and the dog will be happier to be back with its original owner

jamandcustard · 21/01/2026 08:37

In all your previous posts about this dog you’ve overthought absolutely everything. She clearly isn’t the right fit for your family and it would be pretty selfish of you to keep her.

MindYourUsage · 21/01/2026 08:48

This dog sounds like an introverted little soul who thrives in a low stimulus environment (but low stimulus does not mean alone) and if the previous owner is able to have her back then that sounds like the best fit.

What was the reasoning for the elderly lady rehoming her to begin with?

Original poster
Thestarsmayalign · 21/01/2026 09:02

MindYourUsage
the lady was about to have surgery and has mobility issues which restricted her walking.
she was not able to
leave her with relatives as the daughter had 2 large dogs.

OP posts:
TheCurious0range · 21/01/2026 09:05

If original owner can now care for her again, see it as a short term foster while the lady had her surgery and recovered. It sounds like the dog would be much happier back with her

noctilucentcloud · 21/01/2026 09:05

I think that you should see it as you fostered this dog whilst the lady was having surgery and now she has recovered she goes back to her. I think it was really kind you took the dog but you aren't a good match for her and everyone (the dog, you and the elderly lady) will all be happier if she returns to her original owner.

FeralWoman · 21/01/2026 09:17

Give the dog back for goodness sake. Nobody is happy. It was a trial, right? Trial has shown that this isn’t a suitable match for the dog or you.

SpanielsGalore · 21/01/2026 09:28

You didn't adopt a dog on trial - you bought one that was advertised for rehoming.

You have been advised before that rehomed dogs need to be given time to settle and that you were going too fast for the dog to cope. But you aren't prepared to adapt your life to the dog for a few months to give her the best chance of settling.

She's that stressed she has developed colitis, yet you still drag her out to the local pub!

Give her back to her previous owner.

anothergymmembership · 21/01/2026 09:31

The owner has asked for her back?! So give her back! You can't look after her and meet her needs. End of story.

Original poster
Thestarsmayalign · 21/01/2026 11:06

SpanielsGalore

it was always the case / the agreement that we adopted her was on the basis that she could return and it would be like a long sit if she could not settle.

this was agreed on the day we met her .

I took her to a small local pub on recommendation of the behaviourist - she said have a more quiet life - but gradually expose to our life Including cafes and pubs alongside a lot of rest.

She said that would keep her cortisol level s down . so , for example yesterday we stayed in most of the day , we did one quiet walk midday . Then in all the rest of the day till teatime. She was then exposed to seeing new things for a short time .
this was advised by the behaviourist .

in addition , I work very part time . I have not been to work at all in the weeks since she came .

Yes we did not het the behaviourist in till recently but we are following her advise to have a mostly quiet life with a section of gradual exposure now , each day .

OP posts:
jamandcustard · 21/01/2026 11:09

You’ve only had this dog a couple of weeks, it’s sick with stress and has colitis and you’re still insistent on taking the poor thing to the pub with you.

I think you mean well but you sound incredibly naive and a bit clueless. Just give the dog back to her previous owner.

Original poster
Thestarsmayalign · 21/01/2026 11:10

SpanielsGalore
yes we are . We have now changed out lifestyle as above .
Yes we initially didn’t , but now we are being guided and we are following this advice
We are just not sure if her disposition , in the longer term , would be happy living less of a reclusive lifestyle or if she can adapt - so we are taking advice on how to assess that .

OP posts:
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