Adopted dog struggling with our life stye

[Thestarsmayalign]

We adopted a dog on trail some weeks ago . The owner was struggling and awaited surgery- which has now been successful. She mostly stayed in .

i did post about some
issues

she has now developed anxiety related colitis as advised by vet today .
-she lived a very quiet life with a lady and the vet says due to our more wide
life it has been producing cortisol in her which has led to
her having
colitis. Its seems excitement etc created this and turned
it into stress.
We are advised that as she is used to a very quiet life this has happened .
She also
has severe separation anxiety as she is used to
being with elderly
owner all
the time .
-she is running on her nerves and is over stimulated by a normal life - we go
out etc on walks which she struggles
with - she gets over exited and beyond herself.

The elderly lady
is now concerned re her well being as she feels
that she cannot adapt and its affecting her …
And has suggested we return her .

As for us , we see her as a lovely dog - but we can see that she really struggles with daily’ normal ‘ life and we do not know what to do for the best

its like the world is too much for her

.My gut i that she would be more settled im her previous home. We tried to adapt to
what she seems to
need , we have , on advice form behaviourist only walked her for
an
hour a day ( apart from we break s) to
let her be rested amd calm and its had a massive impact on our life as Ive not been able to
go
to work
( only a few hours)
.
Conflicted.!

Am aware that it takes
dogs a
while
to
settle but
I am
just
so
unsure
that she can .

i
have no
idea why
the text resorted
this format ! Apologies.

OP this is bizarre.

Why don’t you just take the dog back to her now-recovered owner?

Rather than paying a fortune to try and turn her into a different dog?

And making you all unhappy?

Take her back.

The dog doesn't suit you or your lifestyle, the dog is poorly because of the stress you are causing. I have no idea why you keep rambling on, just give the dog back to it's original owner, just give it back, the dog isn't an experiment for you, give it back.

TheatreTheatre

because i wanted to give her time to settle ...
she did come with some herbal meds called ‘ calm the f down ‘ so I do wonder if there was an issue . The lady said they were just for fireworks .

TomatoSandwiches

I do not see the problem with trying to see if it works
it was not meant as an ‘ experiment’ it was adopting with view to see if it worked - whilst the owner had surgery .

She hasn’t settled.

She is ill as a result.

Do the kind and compassionate thing and take her back

Adoption and trial are not the same thing. Just give it back and get one more suited to you.

TheatreTheatre

I understand. However our behaviourist said this can happen and that she needs 3 months to see if she can adapt …
thats were there confusion came in .she has been here since kid December.

Why don't you and the previous owner work together? You can provide walks and frequent respite, especially if her owner is unable to walk her often or far, but the dog can spend the majority of its time in her old, familiar home.

Agree with this - unless you are WFH and there is someone at home most of the day (ie dogs only left for the occasional few hours) then you really shouldn’t be adopting a dog at all. It’s cruel to adopt a dog and leave it 6-12 hours a day alone and then to travel and leave them in kennels or with strangers.

Give this one back and park the idea completely would be my advice. Or maybe get a cat?

I read all your previous thread OP. You never mentioned she was on trial, and a lot of her separation anxiety will be because she has been taken from her owners home and taken straight to yours, she is missing her previous owner and doesn't understand what has happened.

You should give her back, honestly without sounding harsh, you don't seem kitted out to adopt a dog with an issue like severe separation anxiety.

Most people were advising to give it up to three months for her to settle down and do as little as possible with her, but within weeks you'd already got a behaviourist to treat her and started giving her drugs to calm her down.

Rescue dogs need time and a lot of patience before you can even consider working on any residual issues they may have, they can find very fulfilling lives with the right person and fit in extremely well after a generous adjustment period, but some things need time to fix and the way you talk about being so stressed out and her messing in the house (due to anxiety caused colitis) and you not being able to go out after a few weeks... you just aren't the right person for her I'm afraid.

I'd send her back to her owner, the owner has asked for her back.

If it helps, try not to look at it as a failure, look at it as a learning situation for if you were to adopt another dog in the future.. you need to be able to give the dog what it needs.. not force it to fit your lifestyle.

Very kindly, she hasn't settled. Return her to owner and see about adopting another dog who already enjoys an active busy lifestyle who won't need loads of money spent on behaviourists etc. The lady has agreed to have her back , sort out returning her today
We foster for a very well known Spaniel charity, we've also adopted 4 from them as fosterers have first refusal. It sounds like you need to go through a rescue rather than doing it this way. Why keep the dog whilst dog is obviously stressed and upset when the option to return to original home is there?

I took her to a small local pub on recommendation of the behaviourist - she said have a more quiet life - but gradually expose to our life including cafes and pubs alongside a lot of rest.

She said that would keep her cortisol levels down.

Either your 'behaviourist' is crap or you have misinterpreted her advice.

The dog's cortisol levels are currently sky high. You need to do absolutely nothing for at least a week, so the levels can return to normal. Only then can you start to very very slowly introduce her to new things.

Going for an hour's walk and to the pub is not taking things slowly.

You may feel you have changed your lifestyle, but you haven't changed it enough for the dog. She came from a quiet home with no walks. Since day one she has been exposed to visitors, other dogs in the home, busy walks, shops, pubs and cafes.

You're not prepared to give up your lifestyle for three months to help the dog settle in, so return her to her previous owner.

It’s like you aren’t listening, everyone is telling you to give the dog back, you are being incredibly selfish and putting your wants and needs before the dog, the dog is ill, stressed, anxious and the solution to that is to give it back to its owner, if you care for the dog’s welfare this is what you must do.

OP your behaviour towards this dog and her owner is actually bordering on becoming quite unkind. You are ignoring her needs and repeatedly putting her in situations that make her physically unwell.

Stop. Take her home.

You don't want this dog. You want to mold this dogs personality to become a different dog, it isn't going to happen. If you want to keep this dog you need to change your personality and lifestyle to suit the dog or give her back.

In what way do you "not know what to do for the best"?
I actually don't understand.
The dog is able to return to her calm, familiar life with her beloved owner to whom she is bonded.

The right course of action is so blindingly obvious that I also fail to understand what considerations could possibly be preventing you from taking it.

Unless it's financial - you begrudge returning the dog because you've spent money on a behaviourist now.

Give the bloody dog back, everyone has said the same thing. Why do you want the dog to continue to suffer. The previous owner had a short term medical issue which is now resolved.

We have spoken to her . She will take her back in 2 weeks when she has recovered from her surgery.

Give the dog back.

Your behaviourist is shit. No decent behaviourist would tell you to take a sick stressed dog out to the bloody pub.

If you really want a dog then contact a rescue or shelter and ask for an energetic extroverted dog who loves humans and other dogs.

You and the dog aren’t compatible.

Fabulous. Great update. Now keep the dog at home and no pubs, cafes, parks, etc. Just short walks for toileting.

FeralWoman

she seems to love other dogs and people .
its just then it makes her v exited .

Will do .
She will have that time . She appears to want to go out tho but if thats what she needs to mimic her established life then we shall .

FeralWoman She did tell us to take her to the pub wnd cafes . In small doses. What I did. Will keep her v quiet now tho .

Aw, they will have a lovely reunion for sure. And you've been able to help while she was in the hospital even though it didn't work out as an adoption. There will be a dog out there for your family.