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First time dog owner - advice and tips please!

73 replies

snapdragongirl · 19/01/2026 11:43

We are about to embark upon first time dog ownership (we are planning to get a golden retriever puppy). DH and I both had dogs growing up but haven’t owned one as adults. We have 3 DC (11-16).

What are your top tips/gems of advice for us please? Any books you can recommend as a reference point? Any do’s or dont’s, words of warning etc?

We have thought long and hard about this decision so haven’t made it lightly, but I’m just aware we are novices and I want to do things properly and as well as we can!

OP posts:
HavfrueDenizKisi · 19/01/2026 12:03

Don’t use puppy pads. Get started on outdoor toileting from the get go. We also had bells by the back door that we taught DDog to tap when she wants to go out. Very helpful.

Decide your sleeping arrangements (crate yes/no) and house rules before the puppy arrives and stick to it if it’s non negotiable.

Do not let the puppy have free rein over your whole house. Have a smaller section it can be in and increase it as it gets toilet trained and used to your rules. We only let DDog in the kitchen and playroom to start. Once she was reliably going outside for toilet break we expanded to all of downstairs. We had a stair gate to stop upstairs exploring. To be fair she is allowed anywhere now and sleeps upstairs but that didn’t happen for the first year.

Be prepared for the puppy blues. The first month is tough!

snapdragongirl · 19/01/2026 12:06

Thank you so much, this is exactly what I was hoping for, and it’s really helpful! You’re a star.

OP posts:
Cadenza12 · 19/01/2026 12:13

Puppies are hard work. There will be a time when you think you've made a mistake, but persevere. Get a stair gate to control movement when they are young. My dog didn't like the crate so the kitchen ended up being the crate. I've got a wooded gate thingy from Amazon, which I still use to block off the stairs. I'd also consider keeping the crate by your bed for the first couple of weeks then move down stairs. This worked well for me, with a crate that had torn newspaper at one end. Good luck!

TheMentalMentalLoad · 19/01/2026 12:15

Have one wore commands. Sit, down, paw, leave etc.

Reward all good behaviour. Training is a life long job with dogs.

have fun!

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 19/01/2026 12:16

Buy everyone in your house slippers and make them wear them when your new puppy is teething- puppy baby teeth are razor sharp and bloody hurt when you stand on one with bare feet first thing in the morning before you’ve had your first brew of the day.

Also expose your dog to as many different types of humans as possible in the first few weeks. Particularly if your youngest is 11, make sure toddlers are not some strange unknown.

Also goldens need bathing/brushing, right? Get them used to being brushed and bathed before they really need it. Will make your life easier.

iReallyThinkRoseHadRoomOnThatFloatingDoor · 19/01/2026 12:20

Plenty of socialising. Before vaccinations, carry him everywhere, get him used to car and sounds of traffic. Check for local puppy classes too.

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 19/01/2026 12:31

Golden Retriever puppies are absolutely horrible. They lunge and snap and bite, and they curl their lips, and they're probably smarter than the average human. And that can last a really long time (3 years before they're 'mentally' adults). So do be prepared for that. I'm not saying that to put you off - but everyone always says puppies are hard work, and they are, but with Golden's it lasts even longer than most. It's not just the first month.

When it comes to teething and biting. Don't yelp. Please don't yelp. In my experience it encourages them. Just ignore and offer them a toy. Or say no and offer them a toy.

Now, onto the important things:

Training can, and should, start on Day 1. They can easily be housetrained in a week if you are consistent (no puppy pads, outside every after every nap, game, drink, meal and then roughly every 30minutes or so). Use a 'cue' word for them to associate with their toileting and reward them whenever they toilet outside.

Use meals to feed them by hand so they associate you with food, and also use their meals to train them - sit, down, stay/wait, and recall are all good places to start. Also teach your dog to 'leave' things. So if they are chewing something you don't want them to 'leave' and then offer them a treat.

Invest in a house-line and limit how much space they have and also to provide you with some control over the little git (it's easier to grab a line than to grab a puppy).

Decide where the puppy will sleep - this one is important as Golden's are prone to separation anxiety (remember they come from big litters typically, so have never been alone - they are family pets who thrive on human company). If you want the dog to sleep downstairs and alone at night, you'll likely need to ease them into it.

Don't let the puppy jump onto furniture/climb stairs etc - their joints are very fragile and you can cause long-lasting damage. I've known puppies break their leg at only a few months old after falling off the sofa or slamming against it and falling backwards.

Don't play chase with balls. It puts lots of pressure on their elbows, and again their joints are fragile and you can cause long lasting damage. And don't leave the puppy alone with toys - they can, and will, swallow parts of the toy including the squeaker.

Take them out and about in your arms for socialisation. But remember: Socialisation is not letting every person going say hi, it's about getting your dog used to the world and ignoring people. The last thing you want is a 35kg 11 month old puppy lunging at people for pats because it's never been taught to greet nicely or ignore people

Get them used to being held and touched - ears, groin, mouth, joints etc.

Personally, I wouldn't bother with puppy training classes. Half the time you wait around to be told to do something your dog should already know how to do by that age, and very often the trainers are unable to vary their approach to suit the dogs they have as opposed to whatever dog it is they are used to working with.

Finally, whilst Golden's are lovely and as with any dog, you get out what you put in, you need to be mindful that they are very sensitive - they do not respond well to being yelled at, or scolded. They're incredibly biddable dogs and eager to please - but you have to raise a dog that wants to please you, not one that cowers in fear because it's used to being yelled at.

VanGoSunflowers · 19/01/2026 12:32

Hi! I am a first time dog owner with a Lab. He is now 9 months and I got him at 8 weeks.

My tip is a mindset one and depending on the type of person you are, it may be of no use but before I got him, I spent hours reading Reddit threads from first time puppy owners but I only read the really bad ones. I wanted to know how bad it could possibly get. In hindsight, I was trying to prepare myself for the unknown but actually, it meant that because he wasn’t as bad as I was expecting I found it easier to handle if that makes sense?
It also helps to know in advance some of the ways you can correct behaviour and nip it in the bud so you’re fully prepared

Angrybird76 · 19/01/2026 12:36

Crate train. there will be people who say crate training is curel but it is categorically not. It gives puppy a safe space to chill and unwind and helps with toilet training and controlling chewing. Also helpful with children as you teach they cannot both the puppy when he is in his crate. I have always crate trained mine and from about 5/6 months I stop shutting the door and they go in when they want to, and they always do.

Socialise well but in controlled meetings with well behaved dogs and humans! Ensure where you can that the humans wont encourage the behaviour you dont want, like jumping up. Lots of adults and children think jumping up is cute. There are lots of behaviours that seem cute as pupppies which wont be as adult dogs.

Agree around getting them to greet as many different types of people as possible. My covid puppy never saw a young child (mine was 8) and even now she is wary of toddlers (so am i actually!)

Go to good quality puppy training classes, this is good for socialisiation and for strengthening the bond between you and puppy. If you are not sued to how to train a dog, puppy training is really good as it will show you how to do it. Taking kids along is good as well. Your good work can be undone if there isnt consistency.

Train the pup to be on their own. Start with you just in the house but with them in a different room. Leaving a tele on or radio helps, then go to short trips away and them on their own. Again crate training is great here because you know puppy wont harm themselves.

Try not to have too much routine. Breaks in routing really stress a dog out. So if you always get up at the same time, give their dinner at the same time etc, when this breaks, like when you go away it adds to the stress. Vary your routine so the pup gets comfortable with change.

I wouldnt hand feed. If you start this you will always have to do it and that makes it difficult for when you go away. I use Kongs with mine, put their regular food in a Kong and it occupies their minds. the first 3/4 weeks is hard and you will regret it at times but persevere! Its hard work, particulariy the training aspects but will massively pay off.

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 19/01/2026 12:57

I wouldnt hand feed. If you start this you will always have to do it and that makes it difficult for when you go away. I use Kongs with mine, put their regular food in a Kong and it occupies their minds. the first 3/4 weeks is hard and you will regret it at times but persevere! Its hard work, particulariy the training aspects but will massively pay off.

Really not true at all. I hand feed all of mine until about 4-5 months old, and then they use their bowls. I hand-feed the litter once they are weaned, to get them trained to walk to heel and to learn to pee on command. No new owners have ever reported any issues...

On the other hand, I wouldn't give a puppy a kong at all. Half the time they just wind the puppy up something chronic and you end up with a wound up puppy who is then full of food = energy.

CMOTDibbler · 19/01/2026 14:09

I’d start now with thinking all the time ‘what would the dog be doing now ‘. So someone gets up at 6, stands in the garden for a bit, then looks round all the rooms downstairs for shoes, charger cables, phones etc that could be in chewing range. Then go for a nice long walk in the rain. If you all go out, think about who will be looking after the dog (and that doesn’t mean just a teenager in the house gaming in their room is enough, a puppy needs actual supervision) and so on

butidid · 19/01/2026 14:17

Get every member of the family to pick up poos from day 1!

Angrybird76 · 19/01/2026 14:45

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 19/01/2026 12:57

I wouldnt hand feed. If you start this you will always have to do it and that makes it difficult for when you go away. I use Kongs with mine, put their regular food in a Kong and it occupies their minds. the first 3/4 weeks is hard and you will regret it at times but persevere! Its hard work, particulariy the training aspects but will massively pay off.

Really not true at all. I hand feed all of mine until about 4-5 months old, and then they use their bowls. I hand-feed the litter once they are weaned, to get them trained to walk to heel and to learn to pee on command. No new owners have ever reported any issues...

On the other hand, I wouldn't give a puppy a kong at all. Half the time they just wind the puppy up something chronic and you end up with a wound up puppy who is then full of food = energy.

I'm not sure you can say 'not true at all', as patently it is true for me. I am registered breeder and have many, many puppies through the years. The OP is asking for advice and obviously what works for one person may not work for another. Mine have always loved Kongs, and it doesnt wind them up at all, but mainly because i train hard around having very chilled dogs! The OP will need to take the advice she is given and translate that to what works for her.

Wilsonthedog · 19/01/2026 14:58

You'll get the pup and you'll end up googling when you have a problem, and all the advice will be very black and white. They'll threaten dire consequences if you don't do things exactly their way. Mostly, that bull - unless you're doing terrible things, like whipping your dog or leaving him alone for hours.

As someone with goldens, they do stay puppyish for a couple of years. You'll have all sorts of rebellion when you're walking them at about 18 months...

Mine were both fine to be left downstairs alone from the first night. I kept the first one in a crate for the first two nights, but soon decided that I would rather have a full night's sleep and clean up any accidents in the morning than have to wake twice in the night to let him in the garden. (This didn't confuse house-training, so don't worry about that.)

Get a licky mat and put crushed banana and peanut butter on it when you want to occupy the pup while you make tea.

Enforce naps. I did about an hour play and then put him away to sleep for an hour ish. He'd whinge at first but would soon go off to sleep and has much more chill than my first golden who I thought I needed to "tire out" and probably just overestimated.

You might get puppy blues. It's normal.

Imabitbusyatthemoment · 19/01/2026 15:07

Train, train, train!

Train it well from the beginning and it will make life much easier and everyone happier. Puppy school as soon as it’s old enough, but it’s very easy to teach the basics of sitting, waiting etc. so read up on it and start early.

Crate train - I agree, NOT cruel. It also gives the dog its own safe space to chill and be left alone when it wants to.

Do not let it jump on anyone in the park. No one gives a shit that ‘it’s just a pup!’. It’s still terrifying to children to have an animal jump up in your face and infuriating when you get covered in muddy footprints. Keep it on the lead until it has a reliable call back and knows not to jump up.

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 19/01/2026 15:11

Angrybird76 · 19/01/2026 14:45

I'm not sure you can say 'not true at all', as patently it is true for me. I am registered breeder and have many, many puppies through the years. The OP is asking for advice and obviously what works for one person may not work for another. Mine have always loved Kongs, and it doesnt wind them up at all, but mainly because i train hard around having very chilled dogs! The OP will need to take the advice she is given and translate that to what works for her.

I am also a registered breeder of Golden Retrievers...however, I wouldn't say I've had 'many many' puppies through the years given the implication 😂😀

Opinions will vary but as you completely shot down hand feeding, I felt it necessary to offer a counterbalance about kongs which I personally think are the dog owners equivalent of shoving their screaming toddler in front of an ipad and letting them play it at top volume in a restaurant 😊

rubbishatballet · 19/01/2026 15:24

As someone with a 2.5 year old golden retriever (who fingers crossed might stop being a puppy soon!), key things I would stress are absolute zero tolerance for jumping up/all four paws on the floor from day one. As per PPs, it’s one thing having a cute puppy jump up to your knees but another entirely when it’s a slobbering dog who is as tall as (and stronger than) an 11 yr old when on two legs. And quite hard to stop this once it’s habitual.

I have also found recall much harder with our golden than with the Labradors I’ve owned previously. Whilst nothing trumped food for the labs, it only runs a close second to people and dogs for our golden so he’s harder to incentivise - treats aren’t tempting enough as a lazy fail safe to get him back when there is someone/thing more interesting around. So do lots and lots of recall training, and try and get it nailed as early as possible.

He is a completely gorgeous dog though. Very chilled around the house, and brilliant with the DC. Has a lovely relationship with the cats too.

coffeemonster1978 · 19/01/2026 15:32

I have a golden girl, now a little over 3 years old - in addition to excellent advice from TheHungryHungryLandsharks I would recommend looking at breed specific guidance, The Golden Training Academy on Facebook has some useful nuggets.

I would recommend loads of patience, puppy goldens are very bitey, mine particularly liked my calves until she was about 8 months old, at which point fortunately my legs stopped being black and blue. Others mentioned crate training, in my case this lasted three nights, on the fourth night I was so sleep deprived that I didn't put her back in the crate after middle-of-the night wee, and woke up with puppy on my head. She slept straight through the night since then, she likes to get on the bed for half an hour or so and then gets down to get cool on the floor or her bed. The crate was useful during the day for naps, though.

She is an amazing dog now, with great recall but it took us a long time to get there and I found puppy classes rather unhelpful. This is the only thing I'd do differently if I had a puppy again, she was the class clown and found the company of other dogs too distracting. I was mortified a lot when instead of running towards me, she would run to her best mate in the class (and being a golden, everyone is a friend...). Or started chewing on a plastic cone used to separate the exercise area when she got bored and frustrated. Speaking of chewing, antlers and toys like benebone are a great distraction.

Goldens are incredibly social, and I read somewhere a description that trying to get a golden to focus in a puppy class environment is like trying to get a toddler to do their homework in a queue at Disneyland. I found it much more helpful to do a couple of 1:1 sessions with a trainer, appreciate that it won't be an option for everyone. And then we did the training pretty much on every walk, I was trying to make myself incredibly exciting so that it made sense to her to come to me.

And yes to goldens being very sensitive, she responds best to praise and enthusiasm and definitely picks up on the atmosphere in the house. She is happiest when close to her "pack", and is very cuddly and tactile, and very much a lap dog despite her size. Good luck and enjoy the ride!

Angrybird76 · 19/01/2026 15:35

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 19/01/2026 15:11

I am also a registered breeder of Golden Retrievers...however, I wouldn't say I've had 'many many' puppies through the years given the implication 😂😀

Opinions will vary but as you completely shot down hand feeding, I felt it necessary to offer a counterbalance about kongs which I personally think are the dog owners equivalent of shoving their screaming toddler in front of an ipad and letting them play it at top volume in a restaurant 😊

I didnt think i completely shot down hand feeding! I said I wouldnt do it. You also weren't really clear that you would expect the new owners to wean them off hand feeding, I thought you meant forever which sounds a nightmare!. My experience of dogs, which is more in some breeds than others (yes poodles I am speaking to you) that some can be very precious and if you let them you will get to a point where they will only eat certain foods in a certain way. I do behaviour adjustment for dogs (more their owners really!) and I had a lady before Christmas who said her Doodle would only eat tuna hand fed, and would starve otherwise. Nonsense. It started with the dog being off her food, so she added chicken, and then fish and then hand fed and ended up with this daft situation! Needless to say the dog started eating proerly when she was hungry.

Ylvamoon · 19/01/2026 15:52

Another vote for TRAINING from day one!
If you decide to go for formal training a good programme is the KC Good Citizen dog Scheme offered by your local dog training club... and don't stop after the initial 10 week puppy class! Puppy class is mostly for the owners to learn the basics, moving on to bronze, silver & gold standard will see you & your dog through adolescence and beyond.

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 19/01/2026 15:57

@Angrybird76 seems like we both misunderstood the other! Only 4-5 months - definitely no longer, although I know people who hand-feed their rescues because they are too traumatised to eat (although that's a completely separate issue)!

I do hand-feed all the puppies to help with training but also to build that bond and association! I find too often that even when puppies are on their first walk, they actually seem to have very little 'bond' or 'trust' with their owner - and hand-feeding definitely seems to help with that. It helps to associate their human with rewards.

It's a bit like people who go to puppy training having never done anything at home - a puppy is never going to do well in puppy training if you've never taught them in a quiet environment. And if a puppy (particularly retrievers who are typically food motivated) associates 'you' with food from day one then that can only be good. It also pre-emptively manages any possible issues around resource guarding with food, which Golden Retrievers are really bad for.

My youngest is 6 months now and I only took her off hand-feeding over Christmas. She's not had any issues with feeding at all and eats from her slow feeder no issue...and on the plus side, all I have to do is twist my hand on a walk if she's looking at me and she comes running because she associates that gesture with rewards (she is basically a tummy on four sticks which does help!). Definitely nothing to do with her training and everything to do with her associating me with nice things.😅

muddyford · 19/01/2026 16:03

I've had a series of Labradors, current boy is 4. Most useful book, after decades of dogs, was Pippa Mattinson's 'The Happy Puppy Handbook'. It's written in approximate chronological order so it's easy to find where you should be. Excellent layout too. I found myself referring to it constantly.

I did a puppy course with a local dog trainer then the KC Good Citizen scheme. We now do advanced scentwork. He was taught to walk on a loose lead with a harness, though I swapped to a collar later.

Good luck with your puppy.

EdithStourton · 19/01/2026 16:46

Just check that your is from show/pet lines and not working ones (you'd probably know if it was a worker, but it might be a good idea to just be sure). If your puppys' parents are basically blond, it will almost certainly be show.

The working lines of all breeds are much harder work (or more fun, depending on how you see it) than the pet/show lines. I know both show/pet and working Goldens and they are very different beasts.

LemonBelly · 19/01/2026 16:50

Dogs trust do a free puppy school program that was really helpful, it’s family friendly so they encourage the children to attend too

the main thing I would say everyone in the house needs to be on the same page. Training a puppy is hard, training a puppy when everyone is saying/doing something different is infinitely harder.

Sit down with DC and DP before puppy arrives and write down the agreed rules and routine. Literally be a granular as when you want puppy to wait are you saying ‘wait’ or ‘stay’. When you want puppy to pee are you saying ‘go wee wee’ or ‘toilet time’ etc. Puppy will learn a lot faster with consistent commands

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 19/01/2026 17:01

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 19/01/2026 12:16

Buy everyone in your house slippers and make them wear them when your new puppy is teething- puppy baby teeth are razor sharp and bloody hurt when you stand on one with bare feet first thing in the morning before you’ve had your first brew of the day.

Also expose your dog to as many different types of humans as possible in the first few weeks. Particularly if your youngest is 11, make sure toddlers are not some strange unknown.

Also goldens need bathing/brushing, right? Get them used to being brushed and bathed before they really need it. Will make your life easier.

Our friends have a golden, never gets bathed, a quick hose down if he's proper mucky. He has a 'robe' which they put on him if he's wet getting back in tbe car, he dries very quickly. Hood brush and he's as clean as anything. Lovely dog!