Is this genuinely a right way to train a dog?

[sarral]

just need to start off saying... I've never had any experience with dogs at all, ever!

so after years of DH wanting a dog(he grew up with dogs) and me being not being massively keen (ie: kids, life admin, home responsibilities, work ect ect to deal with, just always thought a dog would be added pressure) I finally agreed a few years after Dc's had grown up and left home.

so we've had our little cockerpoo for 2 and half years now and tbh I absolutely love him to absolute bits, but it's not the picnic DH convinced me it would be 🤦

He can't be left alone, not even for 5 mins, follows us (me mainly) EVERYWHERE I can't even nip the loo without him crying outside bathroom door. Walks are a nightmare, he's not too bad with DH but when I go, which isn't often now because I just can't deal with his behaviour (the picture of us getting out more, leisurely walking him, having lots of exercise and enjoying leisure time with him are non existent) he goes mad if anyone comes near me, human or other dogs, barks his head off, even if someone just says "hello" to me he kicks off. So we decided to get a trainer in. Now this trainer I found local to us has 5 star reviews, with over 200+ reviews. So went with her as seemed to be the best reviewed trainer for Miles.

So had her out a few times now and it's just not sitting right with me what we've been told to do but as I've never had a dog I'm not sure if I'm being naive or just totally un-informed.
We've been taught to spray water at any barking,moaning, anytime someone knocks at door or visits (this is a massive trigger for him) on walks we've been told and taught how to use a training lead (from my limited knowledge I think this might be called a choke lead??? I'm not 100% sure??)

it just doesn't all sit right me, he's scared of the water spray, It works but it stops working when we stop using it, which is often cos I just don't like making him scared, the training lead worked for DH, but not me, but then I'm too afraid to pull it incase it chokes him😭😭 DH wants to get trainer out again as we literally have no life in we can't leave him or go anywhere without him, I'm reluctant as I'm not sure this is best way to train him but as Ive said I've no experience so don't know if this is the way we should be training. Trainer is fully qualified for 10+ years so not sure if it's just me or not? Any advice would be appreciated.
thank you.

ahhh OK thank you, just realised im already a member of this group after clicking on it 😍

Our ddog (a week before Covid hit) was a mess when The World returned to normal.
We have seen positive results by leaving ddoggy calming play lists on YouTube channel!!
No more eaten flooring /wallpaper /doors...

can you recommend what to put on you tube? we've tried some dog calming stuff on there (he doesn't acknowledge it) 🤦 and tried the bluey stuff which is apparently in the colours dogs can see🤷🤷 what did you use please? thanks

Hey OP i just wanted to say you are obviously a caring owner and its so good you are listening to your instincts re the trainer and asking for advice on here. The website linked by a pp is a great starting point for finding a good trainer. Also wanted to say, owning a dog and meeting its needs is a lot more involved than a novice owner expects - but you clearly care so you are on the right path

If you're anywhere near a stretch of Offa's Dyke, I have a friend who walks her barky and unsociable dog up there, plus in some of the local forests!

Your dog sounds really stressed so stressing them out even more will be counterproductive.

Have you done training with him in the home, like sit, lie down, spin etc? You want to build a relationship with the dog and build their confidence.

The reactivity when out and about can be worked on but in a controlled way when your dog is feeling calm. Find a trainer who is positive and not using aversive methods which are cruel.

choke chains work. It's old fashioned, but, the dog is in control. And spraying water at them, also works. I don't agree with shock collars, they are being banned for good reason, but there's nothing wrong with a choke chain, aka a slip lead. Dogs soon learn that if they pull, they struggle to breathe. Walk nicely, breathe freely. A week, twice daily walks, job done. No messing about. Everybody is so namby pamby now, ooh, the poor doggy's fee-fees will be hurt. They won't. It's a dog. They learn quickly.

Oh gosh, I really feel for you all - it sounds like you, your DH and DDog have all got so tangled up you can’t see the wood for the trees (please excuse the mangled metaphors…😊). Having had a challenging dog myself (a Weimaraner) I truly sympathise. We’ve faced several of the issues you appear to be dealing with and it took a lot of time, trial and error to find solutions.

You’ve had good suggestions about ditching your trainer and finding another, I found it really helpful to find a trainer that helped to train me as well as my dog, so we were all on the same page. One thing I did consider - when I was at a real low point and thought I’d never solve the problem - was boarding training, where the dog goes away to a trainer for a period of time (breaks the cycle of frustration) and then you join them to learn how to communicate together. It’s expensive though, and I didn’t actually do it, but I thought it might be a possibility if things didn’t get better.

Dealing with the separation anxiety took a lot of effort - I tried behaviourists and all sorts, but with limited success. What I did find that made a difference was to sign her up to a dog walker who came twice a week to take her out with other dogs. She learned that I wasn’t the centre of the universe and that she could have a great time without me. It also helped with socialisation and manners with other dogs and just getting pent-up energy out just being a dog. Being a working breed, I found that mental stimulation tires her out as much as physical exertion so hide and seek games with toys or treats fulfils that need. Chewing is good, but she trashes toys - my local butcher sells frozen marrow bones and these keep her busy (and happy).

My dog is 9 now and though it took time, I’m glad I persevered. Your dog is only two and a half, so will certainly still be receptive to new ideas. Don’t give up - good luck!

It's understandable to be unsure about the training methods, especially if they make him fearful. Positive reinforcement might be a better approach than using sprays or choke leads. These methods help build trust without causing anxiety. If you're unsure, consider getting a second opinion from a trainer who specializes in positive reinforcement.

Hi op, just a suggestion from a mum to a very nervous toy poodle. When I first got my pup, I put his bed in the living room only to find he would never settle at night, he would cry constantly. My family used crates with their dogs and it isn’t for me. So I bought a puppy gate from Amazon, which I put in the kitchen doorway. So every night, I take him to wee, then he follows me to pick up his bed which I put in the kitchen, he jumps straight in it waiting for his special bedtime treat. I don’t hear a peep out of him when he’s behind the gate feeling secure. We do the same routine whenever I go out and leave him home. I made sure he was ok at night before I thought about doing the same when leaving the house and at first I only left him to go to the shop, then slowly increased the time I was out. He gets so excited now when I say bed or bedtime because it’s the only time I give him dried duck fillets 🤣I want him to associate his favourite treat with when it’s bedtime or I go out. Everyone is always so shocked that despite his nervousness, he can settle fine being left at home but it seems the puppy gate was the little bit of security he needed. Even now, if he isn’t behind his puppy gate at night he will bark at any noises and doesn’t settle. A week away without it reminded me of this 🤣

Good luck!

This is the one I got

Choke chains are how people who can't train their dog properly train their dog.

I've never had to use a choke chain, and I currently own 4 dogs over 35kg. I just trained my dog the old fashioned way - by being competent and putting in time and effort.

You need a clinical behaviourist. I have a very similar dog. The clinical behaviourist has massively improved all of our lives. I’m not sure we could have kept him otherwise.

also I used online resources like Absolute Dogs for every day training, consistent, treat based exercises to build the dog’s confidence.

choke chains might work in normal dogs but they just make anxious dogs worse

This Facebook group is amazing, full of very knowledgeable dog trainers and vets who are committed to truly fore-free dog training. It’s a self study group, so you have to read the guides and they’re very strict about posts - they want you to say which of their guides you’ve read and what you’ve tried already - but the advice is absolutely top notch for dog behavioural issues. Just by lurking and reading others’ posts I’ve learned so much which has helped me to avoid issues with my dog. I can’t recommend it enough.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/dogtrainingadviceandsupport

They don’t work at all

its the equivalent of smacking kids - they live in fear not trust

I genuinely think there’s something badly wrong with someone who can knowingly use cutting off the breathing of a living creature in order to get it to do what they want.

I really mean that. There’s something wrong with you.