Help me out pls

[Catswhiskers3]

How do I stop my two dogs from barking
It's like they have the house covered
The pug cross barks at every single noise in the garden,so neighbours talking , neighbours dog barking ,birds in the tree , sometimes I'm sure she barks for the fun of it
The other a min pin rescue,has the front door covered
He can detect someone the other side of the road with the door shut .
It's constant,and they frequently set each other off .
Friends have suggested a water pistol to squirt them when they bark or a dog whistle only they can hear .
Not sure if either of those suggestions sit right with me .
They have a pet flap , because,small dog ,small bladder
But that also means 2 am barking at absolutely nothing.
Currently I am bringing them in every time they bark
But I'm tired and fed up ,and I'm not enjoying being a dog owner

Get rid of the pet flap!
Then it's only supervised visits to the garden. They do their business it's good doggy business followed by a treat. Maybe a little play with you and back inside.

Use the garden to do some training. Start with sit, down, give paw,... basically you are changing the association with the garden = barking at any noise to doing fun things.

Same with the front door barking, restrict access! Have a zero tolerance for barking in the house. Be firm but fair. I found with my barking guarding breed that an acknowledgement from me will shut them up. So it's bark bark bark ... ok fido, it's fine now (maybe a reassuring pat or "come here" and walking away from the door. Followed by a treat. (Although you will have to phase the treat out in time! Or they will bark for the treat!!)

All these methods are gentle but will take some time before you see lasting results.

Mine will always let me know with a muffled grunty bark if they hear something, then look at me for further instructions.... either bark and defend (never!!) or it's nothing (always) and be silent.

Remove them every time they start, and just prior to removing them say 'Nope' or 'Knock it off' or similar, and reward them when they shut up.

If our doorbell goes, ours kick off, but 'knock it off!' tells them that they have been good dogs and the human is now o the case.

I tried shutting the pet flap last night ,and by 2 am the conservatory was swimming in wee and poo .
Despite being let out at 10 pm

I always bring them in when they bark ,with a stern no
Last night was particularly difficult,the neighbours had people over and one of the dogs was barking at every single noise ,I tried keeping her in ,and was up and down letting her out to wee ,but still it was everywhere by 2 am.
The pair of them have put me of ever having a dog again.

I'm starting to feel very resentful
We are of on holiday soon ,and as per usual we always book to take them with us .we have taken them on so many holidays
But this time ,I'm just feeling I need a break from them ,and feeling like they are going to ruin it

There shouldn't be any reason for an adult dog to need to go to the toilet so frequently throughout the night, unless it has a medical condition or severe separation anxiety.
The size of the dog is irrelevant. If my 2.5kg puppy could hold it for 8 hours, then so can your adult dogs.
I'd see if you can book kennels or something for while you are away. No holiday let is going to want dogs constantly toileting inside. It will also give you a break from the stress of it all.
You could probably do with getting a reputable behaviourist to visit your home to give you some help and training tips. It's difficult to advise over the Internet without seeing the situation in real life.
My dogs will bark at noises or next door's cat in the garden. I go out and tell them to stop and bring them in. But you are already doing that, so you need help training a 'quiet' command.

Yes kennels
We have approached two ,and they both refused us
The dogs had a trial run at one kennels and they said they wouldn't let us book a week , because the dogs wouldn't eat their breakfast or dinner ,they said they can't take dogs who won't eat .
One of them is ill ,with two life limited conditions,but both conditions are thoroughly managed and vet is very happy with how we are managing him.
And the conditions were not mentioned by the kennels as a problem.
The one with the conditions is a rescue and will wee when he is upset ,the other who is by far worse,we had from a puppy,she has always weed in the house when it rains despite the pet flap.
She does massive wees for a pug cross dog ,but again vet is happy with her ,
So neither of them can go without weeing at night
We installed the pet flap when we realised they needed to wee more often at night

I had previously had two old boys ,one I had from a puppy and one other a rescue,a whippet and a miniature snzauser ...never had any problems with those two dogs ,both family dogs growing up with my children.
I would of said ,I was a confident dog owner,who knew what she was doing and good at managing dogs .
Then these two arrived...and it's like a whole different ball game ,and now I feel incompetent and like a bad owner

Both these dogs I have now are crossed with chihuahua..maybe that is the difference,where my old boys were not crosses

It sounds like neither of your dogs are particularly well trained or managed - do they get enough exercise, company, rest, training and stimulation?