Wtf have I done

[superplumb]

Got a 16 week old puppy. Me and my two boys aged 10 amd 8. Mum is helping me but he has form an extreme attachment to me and I camt go anywhere or leave him for a second without him having a meltdown.
Mum helps but I feel like a prisoner in my own home.
I have started crate training him but I struggle with the cries and the barking. Thankfully I have another 2 weeks off work but worried what he'll be like when Mum looks after him or I need to pop out for an hour. Behaviourist said he's hyper attached to me and we need to break the habit quickly before he gets mich older.
Hes cost a lot already with eardrops he needed..as well as his differnet food as he hated kibble so I now need to increase my budget.
All these last 2.5 weeks I jist tbjnk..wth have I done.

Yes, you pluck the ears, a few hairs at a time. It doesn't hurt if you do it properly and it's way better than stinky ear infections which definitely DO hurt the dog. You'll lose your mind if you have a terrier who needs to be hand-stripped. I have a Border Terrier now.

That's good to hear. I do worry about him. I know people will say it takes time and if he ajd a normal start or was 8 weeks id be less stressed but as he's older now..it's apparently much harder.

Ahh love border terriers. I used to walk one as a teenager. He was like a grumpy old man even as puppy.

Try not to worry too much. We got our beagle at 12 weeks and it was hard at first, but he's seven now and happily takes himself off to bed while I go to work, or while I'm busy in anothe room.

It will get better - it takes so much time and patience. On thing I’d suggest to try is to make sure it’s not always you leaving him - get your mum to take him out, on a walk, to the park, anywhere he will find stimulating so he can start to grasp the idea that it’s not all bad.

Yeah she jas started to do that yesterday with my dad too. We've avoided the local park recently as it's full of dogs off leqd with no recall and that will overwhelm him i think

This is really good advice. Get mum to take him out when you’re home - it doesn’t even need to be for a walk, just for some socialising or to sit in a park or something. He’ll soon associate her with good things.

Another thing that helped us is that I would get DH to take the dog out for a walk before I had to leave the house. I would leave while they were out and then the dog would come back to an empty house - it seemed to work better than having me leave him, if that makes sense!

So he's not a standard poodle then? I'm guessing miniature? They can have neurotic tendencies not found in the standards

Oh God, do we really have to follow the Americans into their love of locking dogs in cages? I don't understand how we've got rid of zoos with animals in small cages, then moved them into our homes for pets instead. Dogs are NOT den creatures. They sleep in the open, aren't isolated.

First couple of weeks is healthy attachment. They have to learn that you and this life is permanent, especially as you got the puppy when the socialisation and habituation window was well and truly closed. That means instead of learning from one experience, they need repeated experiences. So this will take a long time.

Once they realise that you can start building independence. That is easier if they are not stuffed in prison every few hours but come to the conclusion themselves that being in an adjacent room or the garden, even for a few seconds, actually might be OK, the world won't end, you still exist.

I'm getting puppy no 16 in 8 weeks time. She will not be locked in a cage

What do you propose she does when she needs to see a doctor, then? It’s not feasible to be glued to the dog 24/7, is it.

It’s the only way to deal with separation anxiety @sprigatito

Trust me I know how very hard it is having done it myself.

You haven’t answered the question

I'm with you @sprigatito it's not feasible to tell someone they're never, ever allowed to leave their dog (even safely in the care of a family member) for weeks on end. Life just doesn't work like that.

He will be just fine with OP's mum, especially (IMO) if she takes him out and builds a bond without OP around, then brings puppy back to an empty house (or her own house).

My poodle, so glued to me I used to go running with him off lead, and ride a horse with him following, was fine with my mum while I went to work.

Yes, our beagle was similar. Was hyper-attached to me but after a few "settling in" sessions he soon got used to staying with FIL and is now absolutely fine there for hours while we work or if we want a dog-free day out. Half the time he doesn't want to come home as he knows "granddad" will share ham sandwiches off his plate

@sprigatito that’s up to her. If it’s isn’t an emergency then I would put it off until the dog is more settled.

I'm starting to do that with my parents now. He goes there every day with me..hes even started to play with their dog whi is much older. Hopefully in time he can stay there sometimes too.