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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

I’m frustrated with the dog

63 replies

Berrytea · 21/04/2025 10:36

She is elderly. She has expensive health issues so she can’t be sold or given away. she does have a basic enough understanding of a number of commands, but she only listens when she wants to and is very defiant! I’m not rich and don’t have the money for a professional.

My problem is she has relatively recently started going to the toilet on the carpets in various places. I’ve been using a dog cleaning spray but she has done it so much that it’s unsanitary stinks and it’s making me ill, what’s worse I can’t replace the flooring for about 4 months at best. I have issues with my memory and ability to pay attention because of tiredness so sometimes forget to shut the door and that’s when she goes in! She has a mat in her “place” that was she using as a toilet before but for some reason has chosen other places to go. When this issue started I was keeping her in a pen and not giving her roam of the house and I was told that it was cruel. But I think it’s crueler to make me unwell. I wish she would understand what I am telling her.

OP posts:
Springadorable · 21/04/2025 11:12

She's ill! Old dogs suffer with incontinence same as old people. Take her back to the vets, they are prescribe meds to help her control. You sound sadly lacking in compassion for an old sick pet.

watchuswreckthemic · 21/04/2025 11:20

This must be a wind up surely? Have you been to the vets with her?
Surely as a dog owner you anticipated that, like humans who live to an older age, their needs change.

Kardamyli2 · 21/04/2025 11:47

Sounds like it's time to PTS. There's nothing wrong with euthanising a dog that is soiling in your house.

faerietales · 21/04/2025 11:54

She needs to see a vet. Dementia and incontinence are both very common in old age and both can be treated with medication. Please don't be frustrated with her - she is old and unwell and isn't doing it on purpose.

If you can't afford to treat her then the kindest thing would be to have her put to sleep.

intrepidpanda · 21/04/2025 12:01

Time to PTS I think

RickiRaccoon · 21/04/2025 12:07

She's presumably not suddenly doing it in her old age just to be defiant.

My old dog starting peeing on the floor and medication didn't work (it's more effective for females). He just looked confused when it happened. We had him PTS because the incontinence was on top of a recent blindness when he had already been deaf for a while and so he was often confused and sometimes upset.

I'd talk to your vet about incontinence treatment but start thinking if it's time to put her to sleep. It is frustrating to have frequent dog pee on your carpet.

LandSharksAnonymous · 21/04/2025 12:14

This makes for really sad reading.

Your dog isn't doing it because she's horrible or defiant or whatever else you think. She's doing it because she's old, suffering and likely in pain. Dogs do not defecate or wee on the floor unless there is something seriously wrong.

I'm trying to be kind, OP but it's really hard when you've phrase things like this:

When this issue started I was keeping her in a pen and not giving her roam of the house and I was told that it was cruel. But I think it’s crueler to make me unwell. I wish she would understand what I am telling her.

This isn't about what's 'cruel' for you. A good owner puts their dog first and, actually, locking her in a pen because she's incontinent was immeasurably cruel. There is no comparison between a dog being locked in a pen, because of something they cannot help, and their owner - who chose to have them - wiping up after them. But, I am trying to be kind so what I will say is I think you've kept this poor dog alive long past the point at which PTS would have been the best thing for her and for you.

You sound like you're really close to losing it with her and the kindest thing would be to PTS. Older dogs deserve better than to be blamed for things that naturally happen as a result of their old age.

GeorgianaM · 21/04/2025 12:32

'I have issues with my memory and ability to pay attention because of tiredness so sometimes forget to shut the door '

Yet you don't appear to have sympathy for the elderly dog who has toileting issues!

Honestly, the nasty stuff I read on here sometimes is depressing.

GeorgianaM · 21/04/2025 12:33

Appear to have NO sympathy ^^

Gliblet · 21/04/2025 12:39

You don't need a professional, you need to step up. You took on the responsibility of having a dog - we don't just get them for the fun bit when they're young or middle aged. We're responsible for them all their lives. She's toileting indoors because you're not giving her a choice. If you can't remember to let her out, set regular alarms or reminders for yourself, and get her to the vet to make sure she doesn't have an infection or kidney problems that are contributing to it.

CaraVann · 21/04/2025 12:45

How long have you had the dog? Surely you understand that pets get old and when they do they will often soil in the house and they become harder work? That, sadly, is the downside of owning animals. They don't do it on purpose ffs.

When my beloved dog got older and suffered from cancer I had nothing but compassion for him and would simply clean up any mess he made (and I too have chronic health issues and am knackered all the time) but he was my beloved best mate, I could not imagine describing him as you have about your poor dog.

I still miss my dog almost 3 years on and would rather him here pissing on the kitchen floor.

Original poster
Berrytea · 21/04/2025 12:55

I didn’t think she was incontinent. She will walk into a room with a carpet, do her business and leave. She knows how to ask to go out but has stopped asking. It’s ok for me to be frustrated that her soiling the carpets that I can’t afford to replace are making me physically ill. it looks like a choice to me especially as she’s started having other behavioural issues like running away and not coming back or not listening

OP posts:
CaraVann · 21/04/2025 12:57

Berrytea · 21/04/2025 12:55

I didn’t think she was incontinent. She will walk into a room with a carpet, do her business and leave. She knows how to ask to go out but has stopped asking. It’s ok for me to be frustrated that her soiling the carpets that I can’t afford to replace are making me physically ill. it looks like a choice to me especially as she’s started having other behavioural issues like running away and not coming back or not listening

Edited

If it is a sudden change and she is running away as soon as she has toileted then you need to get her to the vet, it could be a health issue. My rescue dog does this and it is a result of some bowel problem he developed when in the care of his former owner.

faerietales · 21/04/2025 12:58

Berrytea · 21/04/2025 12:55

I didn’t think she was incontinent. She will walk into a room with a carpet, do her business and leave. She knows how to ask to go out but has stopped asking. It’s ok for me to be frustrated that her soiling the carpets that I can’t afford to replace are making me physically ill. it looks like a choice to me especially as she’s started having other behavioural issues like running away and not coming back or not listening

Edited

Your lack of sympathy for your elderly dog is really quite upsetting.

She is old and unwell. She needs to see a vet as soon as possible. Please do right by her.

LandSharksAnonymous · 21/04/2025 13:00

Berrytea · 21/04/2025 12:55

I didn’t think she was incontinent. She will walk into a room with a carpet, do her business and leave. She knows how to ask to go out but has stopped asking. It’s ok for me to be frustrated that her soiling the carpets that I can’t afford to replace are making me physically ill. it looks like a choice to me especially as she’s started having other behavioural issues like running away and not coming back or not listening

Edited

Yes, you can be frustrated. But you cannot blame the dog.

I've had several elderly dogs over the years. This is what they do when they are losing their wits and getting old - they enter rooms, wee and leave. It's deliberate, or spiteful, it is old age.

But you clearly are only concerned about how it effects you and not any possible issues with your dog that may have resulted in this, or any pain she is in.

Your poor dog.

Original poster
Berrytea · 21/04/2025 13:05

Sorry, I didn’t realise that it would be because of old age, just thought she was starting to act out. I don’t know why people feel sorry for her because I’m frustrated that she’s toileting on the carpet, she’s well loved and well fed

OP posts:
SpringHasSprung25 · 21/04/2025 13:26

Well loved?! It doesn’t sound like it to be honest. Elderly dogs can develop cognitive and physiological issues just like elderly people. It sounds like you think your dog has deliberately started doing ‘naughty’ things, which is nonsense and demonstrates a very poor understanding of dogs’ needs & behaviours. As PPs have said, you should really seek veterinary advice.

faerietales · 21/04/2025 13:29

Berrytea · 21/04/2025 13:05

Sorry, I didn’t realise that it would be because of old age, just thought she was starting to act out. I don’t know why people feel sorry for her because I’m frustrated that she’s toileting on the carpet, she’s well loved and well fed

Are you going to take your dog to the vet?

Toileting on the floor, deafness, forgetfulness and losing cognitive function are all very, very normal parts of owning an elderly dog. Your attitude is really upsetting. She's not trying to spite you - she's sick. She can't help it.

CaraVann · 21/04/2025 13:30

This is obviously a wind up thread.

chattyness · 21/04/2025 13:34

Berrytea · 21/04/2025 12:55

I didn’t think she was incontinent. She will walk into a room with a carpet, do her business and leave. She knows how to ask to go out but has stopped asking. It’s ok for me to be frustrated that her soiling the carpets that I can’t afford to replace are making me physically ill. it looks like a choice to me especially as she’s started having other behavioural issues like running away and not coming back or not listening

Edited

She's old, dogs can get dementia, one of mine did it wasn't pleasant for him or us but we just cleaned it up and said nothing, because he couldn't help it and we loved him.
He would wander around in the garden and come back in the house to poop, but he couldn't help it.
Have some empathy, she needs more love and support in her final years. Cover your floors in puppy training pads that you can throw away if you don't want to clean, but don't keep her caged up, that's cruel she's not being naughty or acting out, she can't help it.

Original poster
Berrytea · 21/04/2025 13:36

If she’s run off or is barking she won’t listen to me telling her to stop and come back anymore but she will if I shout “chicken” or offer her another treat. I have doubts that her behaviour is all because of old age. She doesn’t seem confused in other areas.

OP posts:
faerietales · 21/04/2025 13:37

Your attitude stinks. If this isn't a wind up, of course.

YourWinter · 21/04/2025 13:41

You sound an impatient and unpleasant person who is not at all tuned in to the needs of an elderly dog. She is very likely to have some cognitive decline. You’d better hope people are kinder to you if you develop dementia and your behaviour becomes inexplicable to those trying to care for you.

HarrietJonesFlydaleNorth · 21/04/2025 13:51

Op what do you want to happen?

You do need to get your dog checked rather vets, and see if there’s anything underlying that they can treat.

But side from that, would you like tips on cleaning and removing the pee smell? Help with training or behavior? Permission to PTS? Or just a space to vent about the difficulties?

Also I realise the smell is unpleasant, but I am unsure how it is actually making you unwell?

Original poster
Berrytea · 21/04/2025 14:08

HarrietJonesFlydaleNorth · 21/04/2025 13:51

Op what do you want to happen?

You do need to get your dog checked rather vets, and see if there’s anything underlying that they can treat.

But side from that, would you like tips on cleaning and removing the pee smell? Help with training or behavior? Permission to PTS? Or just a space to vent about the difficulties?

Also I realise the smell is unpleasant, but I am unsure how it is actually making you unwell?

Yes those are the things that I want

OP posts: