I’m frustrated with the dog

[Berrytea]

She is elderly. She has expensive health issues so she can’t be sold or given away. she does have a basic enough understanding of a number of commands, but she only listens when she wants to and is very defiant! I’m not rich and don’t have the money for a professional.

My problem is she has relatively recently started going to the toilet on the carpets in various places. I’ve been using a dog cleaning spray but she has done it so much that it’s unsanitary stinks and it’s making me ill, what’s worse I can’t replace the flooring for about 4 months at best. I have issues with my memory and ability to pay attention because of tiredness so sometimes forget to shut the door and that’s when she goes in! She has a mat in her “place” that was she using as a toilet before but for some reason has chosen other places to go. When this issue started I was keeping her in a pen and not giving her roam of the house and I was told that it was cruel. But I think it’s crueler to make me unwell. I wish she would understand what I am telling her.

Shes old and ill!! How long have you had this dog for? It doesn't seem like you are very understanding. We've had my dog for 10 years now, she's getting old and I'll look after her as long as I have her. Please be kind, take her to the vets and be a bit more understanding with her

@Berrytea she’s old. Old dogs have changes in behaviour. How often do you walk her?

My elderly dog has slowed down a lot

You think she’s being difficult because she hears you shout chicken, but not her name. Think of it as, she’s totally absorbed in what she’s doing- sunbathing, sniffing, wondering who’s around the corner, not really paying attention to anything else that’s going on, when suddenly someone shouts sausages! Sausages are even more interesting than the sniffs. She’s going to check it out.
It’s like tuning out background noise on public transport, but looking up when your stop is mentioned.

And going through the wrong door when she needs a wee is a classic old age thing. My dog has forgotten how to ask to go out. He’s started going up to the top of the house and yapping, instead of down to the back door. She may still be asking but in a different way.

He also forgets that he’s just been and asks to go again. It is frustrating. But I love him so we keep going.

It's unlikely she's defiantly "not listening", because being elderly, she has almost certainly lost most of her hearing. In addition, she could have kidney failure which would cause her to toilet without any control over her bowel or bladder. This could be why she runs away, she knows you'll be upset but literally cannot control it. Honestly, you need to call your vets and asked for advice. It sounds to me like the kindest thing would be to put her to sleep.

How old is she @Berrytea ? From what you are saying, you need to have her PTS. When you're at a point where you're locking her away because she's getting on your nerves so much, and she is going to the loo inside the house, and she is very elderly, it's time to say goodbye.

"You think she’s being difficult because she hears you shout chicken, but not her name. Think of it as, she’s totally absorbed in what she’s doing- sunbathing, sniffing, wondering who’s around the corner, not really paying attention to anything else that’s going on, when suddenly someone shouts sausages! Sausages are even more interesting than the sniffs. She’s going to check it out. It’s like tuning out background noise on public transport, but looking up when your stop is mentioned."

That's a really great description, am going to remember that with my boy sometimes! I think for the OP it could also be that the dogs old and tired, coming for her name is too much effort, but for chicken (or sausages), the dog will make that effort. It could also be that the dog isn't getting out as much so is more reluctant to come back when they know that's the end of fun time.

But whatever the cause, OP your dog is not doing any of this to spite you, dogs don't think like that. The way you talk about your dog comes across as quite cold and uncaring (although I appreciate that it's hard to deal with accidents in the house).

I think you need to take your dog to the vets to rule out any medical issues that is causing the toileting inside. But as your dog is elderly and having toileting issues I'd also have a chat with the vet re quality of life and whether it is time to pts.

I have just had to have my lovely 15 year old dog put down as she was tired and ready to go. I wish she was still here - for weeks I was cleaning up after her - she was old, deaf and getting confused. I was happy to care for her in return for all the love she gave me over the years. Please treat your dog with respect instead of resentment.

Good Lord I can’t work out if you are trying to antagonise people for a reaction or if you genuinely are clueless.
she’s old and ill and you can’t remember to let her out and keep her in a pen.
Thank goodness someone told you this is cruel and you listened.
I can’t even begin to fathom the reasonings of your reaction to a natural and quite common progression of the dog aging.
Please do have the poor animal quietly put to sleep and don’t get another pet.

@Berrytea My dog started weeing on our dining room carpet which coincided with her developing pancreatitis. Is your dog displaying any other issues such as vomiting vile, upset stomach, off their food? Once she was on pain medication and antacids the weeing inside stopped.

Are you serious?
You can't give her away or sell her because she's old and ill !
Yes people feel sorry for her not you !
No her peeing on the carpet because of old age is not making you unwell.
She's running away from you and won't go to you because she's scared of you
What are you doing to dog that's making her that scared she doesn't want to go near you.
You have zero sympathy for her you want to sell or give her away but can't because she's on expensive medication -
You confined her to a pen
Tell me what bit of what you do to her is love ?

I can't be the only one that is really worried about this dog.

Do you think she's winding you up on purpose?!!?

Yeah I can’t give her away or sell her. I can’t afford for her to soil my carpets and cause mayhem with her behaviour and I’m struggling to control it. She’s not scared of me she loves me she runs off and doesn’t come back because she thinks it’s a game or doesn’t feel like listening. Her defecting and peeing on the carpet releases chemicals that does make me ill she’s done it so much that it won’t lift and I constantly have to have the window open and feel nauseous in the room

Have her put down. It’s inevitable, you’ll feel a lot better when she’s gone and she won’t have to worry about whatever is annoying you.

Have you had a dog before? Surely you knew this would happen when you got the dog

I don’t understand how anyone who loves their dog could talk about them like this, or force them to keep living when they are so clearly suffering and/or in pain.

Honestly, OP, I feel a bit sorry for you before because I assumed the stress was affecting you but now I just think you seem immeasurably cruel, callous and selfish.

Please do not take your frustration out on the poor dog. She’s elderly and it isn’t her fault. Take her to the vets as there may be an underlying health issue but most likely she’s just getting old, maybe has a touch of doggy dementia and is getting a weaker bladder.

Please for the love of God don’t shove her in a pen because you don’t want her roaming the house. Old dogs come with extra challenges but we owe it to them to make the few years they have on this planet the best possible.

Look into doggy diapers if necessary and just be taking her outside to encourage her more than you used to.

Please be kinder to the poor old girl. She’s not doing this on purpose.

What has a vet said?

My old terrier started toileting inside and was diagnosed with Cushings Disease.

I would guess that if she isn’t responding that she has gone deaf. My old girl used to go off following a scent, and I had to run to where she could see me to attract her attention. I had to use a long line for safety eventually.
How old is she?

You are clearly unable, or done want to, care for this poor old girl properly in her old age for whatever reason. Of course she’s having accidents in the house if you’re not letting her outside regularly. Your expectations are unrealistic and cruel to an outsider …Do your dog a favour, and arrange for her to be put to sleep if the vet agrees this is the right course of action.

It’s your apparent coldness and lack of empathy towards an elderly dog that is leading to the comments. I can’t understand how you could have a pet who you seem so cross with. My dog is young but is a proper part of the family. My cat is v elderly and very occasionally will have a little dribble - I can clean it up. I wash the bedding, wipe her bum and legs, give her a cuddle and tell her not to worry, and that I love her.

you say you didn’t realise it’s because she’s old? Hate to break it to you but this type of thing happens to all creatures as they age. Hopefully your family won’t get cross with you when you piss on the settee.

I think this is the first time I'm saying this to someone, but don't get another pet. You're not suited to them.

As a PP said - please don’t get another pet ever again. If you can’t be committed to caring for them through all life stages it’s really not fair on any animal to have you as an owner.

Your attitude towards your pet is quite disgusting.

Can you let her out more frequently, also get her checked for a water infection?

Sweet Jesus who the f are these people who get dogs that are so cold and callouse? I am.sitting here with my three digs -2 are old. devastated as my poor cat died two weeks ago. he was 13. I am heartbroken dunno how I will be if one of oldie dogs dies. its so hard when a dog goes old in front of you. had it before the constant going to toilets and the dementia like actions. but no way have I ever been like you are describing op. yes I had to clean up poo etc sometimes at 1am in morning yes I was teary and getting down but because I realised my loved one was dying. do yoir dog a favour bring it to tye vets to die with dignity and never ever get a dog again.

I think you need to have her put to sleep.

The way you talk about her sounds like you resent her, and don't even like her. People up thread have given very good explanations of potential reasons behind her behaviour but you continue to talk about her with disdain.

Have her put to sleep and don't get another pet that will rely on you in old age