New owners

[Mrspinknails]

Hi we've been looking for a dog for years. Since this time, I caught my husband cheating and told him to leave. He never wanted a dog and we are currently going through a divorce now.
I have two primary aged children both asd and are going through counselling since their dad left. Counsellor also mentioned a dog may be good for them to encourage them to go outside ( they are obsessed with gaming) as well as bonding together.

I'm not 100% on breed. My parents have a sprocker who we see a lot so new pup would need to be ok with other dogs.
I'm a hybrid worker and parents love close by.
I could probably walk an hour a day myself, parents can help too if need be. Need a dog that's easy to train as we are new to this.
Options are:

A smooth dachsund ( we know the owner.) Parents health tested.
Mini poodle..dad is KC amd tested and nan of mum is heath tested but mum isn't
Cocker spaniel ( show i think but I've asked for confirmation on thjs as well as testing)

Id love a golden but our house is quite small plus my mum may need to help walk and see won't manage a larger breed.

Which one would be best for us and hoe much are they mostly for good and insurance.
I've tried to find insurance quotes but I need to sign up and give all my details even for a quote!!

Any experiences owners please I meed help!!

Are the above dogs all adult dogs? As in their behaviour is known now?
given your circumstances I’d definitely go for a mature dog rather than a puppy so you can have a truer idea of their temperament and also takes the stress of toilet training etc away
i had a smooth dachshund a few years ago from a pup, brought up around my kids, unfortunately I had to rehome him, something that I never in my lifetime thought I would do but even after spending thousands on training for him he was a real liability with the kids and free blood a few times with them, it was an awful time that I wouldn’t wish on anyone and broke all our hearts to see him go.

I've given up trying to get a rescue.
I've been looking for the last 3 years. Either I meed a resident dog or children over 12. Or they are super nervous and need an experienced owner.

We've decided on a puppy. When my boys are older I'd introduce a rescue as by then the puppy would be older and so would my children.

I think your counsellor sounds like an idiot and has never had a dog in their life!

Puppies are arseholes and puppies and young children - particularly those with additional needs - rarely work. Raising a puppy properly is a 24/7 job for months. Add kids onto that? No thanks.

But, as you’re probably going to persist. At least get a dog that comes from fully healthy tested parents - there’s never any excuse for the Sire and Dam not to be health tested. Any breeder that claims otherwise is doing so because they’re breeding from bad lines with dodgy genetics.

I would strong avoid a cocker spaniel. They go horribly - and I cannot stress that enough - wrong if their mental and physical needs are not met. Someone will pop up and say ‘well my cocker spaniel isn’t like that’ - great, their dog is the outlier and not the standard.

My youngest golden costs me £250 a month.

Dogs are not cheap. Insurance is mandatory.

Please think this through properly.

All of the dogs you mentioned are quite reactive. I wanted a dog as my son has ADHD and alsoODD (oppositional defiance disorder). Because of this I didn’t manage to find a rescue dog- but we did find a lovely beaglier - mix of beagle and cavalier. A very calm easy going dog. We have been so lucky as I knew that I could not add a reactive highly strung dog into our crazy household. My DS loves the dog, it’s been great for him, I would definitely recommend this breed- there is a breeder in Norfolk and one in Manchester I think: we were just lucky and there was one in our town. Good Luck

ps the insurance is about £50 a month, I also pay £22 a month for a vet plan which includes annual vaccinations and flea and worm treatments.

Out of the list above, I’d go poodle. Daschunds are big dogs in little bodies, and working cocker will be full of beans.

Hiwever, don’t underestimate what @LandSharksAnonymous says. Puppies are full on. For the first few weeks, they need constant attention night and day (are you up for sleepless nights) until they establish a routine. Our pup was two hours asleep (bliss), then two hours Duracell bunny mode.

Regarding insurance, just put a fake name in. It’s a quote, not a commitment.

Also there’s the cost of worming tablets, food, bowls, collars, treats. It’s ongoing. My dog easily costs us over £150 per month .

Honestly all of this.

Given all the changes in your children's lives right now and the upheaval you're all going through the very last thing you should do is add a puppy into the mix.

I cannot emphasis enough of how bad an idea this is.

Cockers can be bonkers and potentially (likel?) need double the walking time you’re suggesting you can offer.

But having a puppy is very full on and was (in my limited sample of 1 child a 1 dog) harder than having a baby/ toddler.

Can you try before you buy and join borrow-my-dog or similar ?

How about encouraging your children to get involved in outside sport instead?
Your children will very soon tire of accompanying you on dog walks so having a dog is unlikely to encourage them to spend more time outside.
That's on top of the many other reasons why getting a dog is not a good idea right I'm sorry to say.
But an outdoor sport might hold more appeal.
A dog might help them spend more time in the garden I guess but a garden-based activity could do that too.

Thanks everyone.
In terms of the counsellor i suspect she suggested this as both boys independently spoke about wanting a dog. We've talked about it for years but ex never wanted one.
I do appreciate what you have all told me though
I'm certainly not rushing into things. Still on the research stage and considering breeds. If we miss out on the above litters then that's fine..I'm in no rush.

In terms of sport.. I've got them to try all of them they hate sport but love playing with my parents dog

Thanks again to those who replied. Really appreciate it

I did consider ckcs but I'm so worried about their health issues, even KC and Health tests.

I’d plan it for when you can be home all the time (near enough) for a few weeks with a puppy. Or your parents can. They can’t be left at home alone much at all. Puppies are full on.

im not keen on dachshund, they can be very bitey. Spaniels are full on but they do calm down. Whatever you get buy easy peasy puppy squeasy book. And join https://m.facebook.com/groups/dogtrainingadviceandsupport/?ref=share. And don’t crate. Dogs are ace but get one for you….not for the kids if you see what I mean. Also be aware it might limit your dating opportunities….

I have retired racing greyhounds from The Greyhound Trust. They sleep most of the day but enjoy short walks and zoomies in the garden. A lot of retired people adopt them because they suit that lifestyle. Mine are good family dogs- matched as suitable for children, some are not depending on their personality. However the children are not interested in coming for walks at all. They are kept active outside with sports and trips to the park and bike riding. I got the dogs for me. If I were to get a pet for the children, I would choose a cat.

I agree with the poster who says your counsellor is an idiot!!!

A dog will not get your game addicted kids out unless it’s you and then heading out for big long walks- my kids love the dog but they literally acknowledge his presence with a ruffle of his coat and three minutes of attention and off they go back to the screens or come out for walks and then a quick ruffle of his coat and they’re gone. I am the one left (trying to) train him, the one standing outside with him at eleven o clock at night waiting for him to pee and then our first thing in the morning, the one who has to tell the kids no we can’t stay out for the day the dog is waiting for us, the one trying to stop him trying to come with us on school run or stop him taking lunches as I make them for school. I love him to bits but regret him hugely

You are getting another child- agreed a puppy is nuts with all you’ve gone through but you sound determined, definitely definitely be sure of breed (cocker here too, a wired, lovely nutcase that has exhausted and broken me hugely!!)

All good points. Thanks

Yeah I accept its really my dog and I'll be doing th work. I did consider a cat but I often look after my parents sprocker and he isn't keen on cats

@stayathomer
“ You are getting another child”

That’s a good way at looking at it. Would you welcome a baby or toddler now if someone gave you one, with what you’re going through? Have you got the time, space, money and commitment to look after it? A dog is not a furry toy that moves, but a real, live being with its own personality, demands and needs.

I think in your position you’d be mad to get a puppy (I’m a dog trainer, so watch people over face themselves and run into trouble all too often 😢)I agree the councillor is a clueless idiot!

Can you not borrow the sprocker for walks and fun more regularly?

Yeah I have my parents dog a lot already at my home amd walk it etc..

Then what would be the benefit of a puppy that you and your children don’t/can’t gain from the sprocker?

Im not saying you shouldn’t ever get a dog, but now seems like a VERY bad time to me…..

I suspect you're right but id like my own dog too. If money amd room were no object I'd get two. Grew up with them and I miss my parents dog when he goes home. House feels empty.

i would go for a mini poodle

Sorry OP but it's pretty clear that the dog has little to do with your children.
I find it difficult to believe that the counsellor suggested getting a dog too.

Not trying to be mean, you're obviously not having an easy time, but getting a dog would be a disaster. Please don't do it now. If you wait a decent length of time you might be in a better position to get one then.

Miniature poodle in that case. Mine was not reactive, used to sit on the sofa with my cat who also came for small, safe walks with us, would play fetch but not in a manic, obsessive way, would walk for hours ( once fully grown), was easy to house train, and not interested in anyone outside of his family. I lost him when he was 17.

You need an adult not a puppy.

A puppy cannot be left AT ALL. How are you going to care for 2 high needs children with a puppy? What are you going to do with the puppy while you’re working? How is a puppy biting your children going to help them bond with the dog? Every puppy goes through a biting stage and it’s normal to think what have I done, will your children resent the puppy due to this? Will they spend MORE time gaming to avoid the obnoxious puppy?

Honestly whatever breed you decide get an adult. The behaviour and personality is known, you can walk it straight away and that’s what you’re aiming for, puppies can’t be walked until vaccinated and even then only 5 mins per month of age which defeats what you say you want a dog for.