New owners

[Mrspinknails]

Hi we've been looking for a dog for years. Since this time, I caught my husband cheating and told him to leave. He never wanted a dog and we are currently going through a divorce now.
I have two primary aged children both asd and are going through counselling since their dad left. Counsellor also mentioned a dog may be good for them to encourage them to go outside ( they are obsessed with gaming) as well as bonding together.

I'm not 100% on breed. My parents have a sprocker who we see a lot so new pup would need to be ok with other dogs.
I'm a hybrid worker and parents love close by.
I could probably walk an hour a day myself, parents can help too if need be. Need a dog that's easy to train as we are new to this.
Options are:

A smooth dachsund ( we know the owner.) Parents health tested.
Mini poodle..dad is KC amd tested and nan of mum is heath tested but mum isn't
Cocker spaniel ( show i think but I've asked for confirmation on thjs as well as testing)

Id love a golden but our house is quite small plus my mum may need to help walk and see won't manage a larger breed.

Which one would be best for us and hoe much are they mostly for good and insurance.
I've tried to find insurance quotes but I need to sign up and give all my details even for a quote!!

Any experiences owners please I meed help!!

yeah the beaglier is a cross and so not the same issues- but obviously you would have to check the tests have been done by the breeders; for reputable breeders they would have done. His character is so lovely that I am considering another one. I know what everyone is saying and yes puppies are hard work, but I got him when I was working at home and it wasn’t an issue. But you need to think about what you would do on the days you go to work when he is young. I was again lucky as he goes to a very good doggie daycare on my work day, and now he’s older he can have just a dog walker some days. Also what are the kids like- do they take a lot of your time and attention.

I can assure you the counsellor reported that they boys would benefit from a dog, ideally one with a 'therapy disposition'

I've got daycare and only go into the office one day every two weeks.

I should point out the counsellor said a dog MAY be a good idea..not to definitely get one.. seems people have honed in on that.

I wouldn’t get any of those - decent breeders don’t usually have puppies just ready. Your best bet for a healthy dog with a good temperament is to pick a breed, then pick a breeder and wait for them to have a litter.

Puppies btw are little arseholes, it’s like adding in a toddler that can’t wear nappies and has razor sharp teeth that it’ll use on everyone and everything.

I know. I helped my mum with the sprocker, sleeping in the floor and going outside every 30 mins.
I've been on champ dogs for ages but I'm confused over breeds. They all have plus points and cons. Cavalier kcs would tick lots of boxes but their small heads headaches amd heart issues even with tests worries me

I have a miniature poodle and she’s amazing. I’ve had dogs before, including a golden retriever and a Labrador. My poodle has been the easiest by far. Poodles are very clever and pick things up quickly. House training was a doddle. She settled well, she’s never chewed anything, she’s good with other dogs and children and recall is 100%. She doesn’t shed. She’s very loving and very cute.

I never imagined myself with a poodle. I think the stupid haircuts do them a disservice. However, it turns out that you can have them cut the same all over and then they look like a normal dog.

This is good advice. Have a couple of friends who have rescue greyhounds, all lovely dogs. For my kids in the immediate aftermath of divorce a cat was a really good addition to the family. I’d probably find reasons to take your parents’ dog for walks on a regular basis and get a cat for yourselves, also it’s a smaller commitment on your time and finances. Just be aware that if you’re thinking of a rescue animal that it may come with health issues that only become apparent later, which could be a financial commitment you need to be prepared for.

Yeah sadly I have to rule out a rescue atm. When the boys are older then I'd definitely would.
Can't have a cat at home as my parents dog has a strong prey drive. Id also worry about the cat being hit by a car. We're surrounded by lots of roads and so many get killed. I wouldn't want an indoor house cat either.

@LandSharksAnonymous Well my cocker spaniel isn't like that. 😂

But my cocker spaniels have their needs met, as I am able to devote hours a day to fulfilling them. I can already see that my 7 month old puppy could be a nightmare in the wrong home, as she needs a lot more stimulation than her Great Aunt needed at the same age.
So I would agree that a cocker spaniel doesn't seem to be a suitable breed for this family. Unless they can find a nice, calm, confident adult rescue.

Daycare is actually terrible for puppies. It’s a free for all and leads to overly excited and nervous dogs that don’t know how to socialise with other dogs.

Don’t underestimate how much time a puppy will take also. Even working from home, you need to actually work and you won’t be able to do that with a young puppy around.

Apologies @Mrspinknails you did say that the counsellor said may benefit in your OP.
I can certainly see why getting a dog would appeal but hopefully you'll wait at least a few years before you do. Good luck whatever you decide.

Out of all those breeds, I would highly recommend a mini poodle. Just make sure you know what you're taking on in terms of grooming and coat maintenance as they can matt very easily.

They're generally very healthy, they're intelligent, they don't need hours of exercise and are known to be excellent family dogs.

I think your counsellor sounds like an idiot and has never had a dog in their life!

Another vote for this. A dog is not a cure for problems, it is the start of new ones unless you have really thought it through, and I don't see that you have. Children won't step up with dog care / walks - It's all fun occasionally, in nice weather... Just wait for three weeks of rain in a bitterly cold winter (or even summer!). Every single argument against this - even an adult dog - I agree with. And you have absolutely no idea if a dog would be happy with your parents dog in the house - even puppies can grow to be unaccepting of other dogs in their territory.

You have two children with special needs, you work, you and they are still dealing with the new family arrangements and "I could probably walk an hour a day myself, parents can help too if need be. Need a dog that's easy to train as we are new to this" - "probably" just doesn't cut it, you need to definitely walk for (probabaly) at least an hour a day.

Don't get a dog to get the kids out the house. That will work for about 2 weeks until they are bored and have something better to do.
You need to be a walker to get a dog, not get a dog to become a walker.

Sorry, but I am sure you are reporting this correctly but I have to double down on the "idiot" remark. She clearly has no idea how complex identifying, training and maintaining a therapy-type dog is, and if they come as puppies there is absolutely no way to guarantee the outcome - or even the "right kind" of "therapy". An adult with such skills costs £thousands.

I am also team mini Poodle.

You could also consider other companion breeds like papillon, mini schnauzer, ...

BUT please think this thoroughly through!
A dog can be a wonderful addition to your family. Dogs do have healing & calming powers and most dogs that are bonded to their owners will have 'therapy disposition'. Or be just there for you giving a helping paw when you really need them!
However, before you get the benefits of a dog you'll have a puppy. And puppies are hard work, as already pointed out.
You should also consider time & cost of a formal training class for the first 12-18 months of your puppies life. This will help you & your boys with all the big and little bumps on the road of turning a green puppy into a super family dog. The good citizen dog scheme is brilliant for this.
Many people stop training after the initial puppy class and that's when in many cases the problems start. Puppies go through many different stages from fearful to obnoxious with everything in between in the first 12- 18 months. So having a dog trainer with experience guide you through this will ensure you get the dog you want. Plus, puppy/ dog training is fun when done properly!

@ImagineRainbows don’t be so generalist- it totally depends on the daycare.

This whole thread is so typical of the mumsnet band of dog lovers who always seem to think they know best about every individual situation. And are very often totally wrong.

When i say day care, u mwna my parents who've retired. Not actual day care like a nursery

Thanks that's great advice. I did think about mini schnauzer but read they were not great family pets?

Thanks everyone for the advice.

My dog went to a lovely home from home doggy daycare one day a week from about six months, he loves it and furthermore is the calmest loveliest dog ever who gets on with all dogs and indeed humans. So it just depends

If you are struggling with your mental health now then a puppy will make it a heck of a lot worse, albeit in the short term but dogs are not a small commitment!

Dogs generally aren't consistently ok alone until they are adults. Anything between 18 months and 3-4 years.

Honestly don't consider it until things are level or keep looking for an adult with a known temperament. Puppies need 24/7 input in order to be well adjusted adults.

I have a lab. Two of his brothers are now medical assistance dogs. Siblings from previous litters have also been trained up.

When we chose our dog, we chose the quieter pup, not the one trying to chew laces. However, when we visited the vet last week. The vet response on seeing my dog was, oh yes, the nut case! ’.

So my dog, who in all probability should have a ‘therapy temperament ’ hasn’t, and that’s not from lack of training.

We have a 10 month old Bernedoodle. There were times when we first brought him home that I cried because I was not prepared for how hard it is. And I had two other adults to help me. It truly is a 24 hour a day nightmare sometimes. He is a lot better now but we have just recently gotten to this point. Good luck.