Hum. A sombre morning.
Booked Pod in for the vets this morning to have his arse examined. Admittedly I am a super-smeller but I think his bum has been smelling rank recently - like a dead fish left in the sun. So we went for a run (he ran, I didn't) at the dog park first, as it's near the vets. The dog park is a series of huge fields, enclosed and separated by gates. I generally keep him on a lead unless I can see for miles that there's no one around, however the carpark was almost empty this morning so I left him off for a wee game of ball. He immediately fucked off at top speed so I knew he must have seen another dog that somehow I hadn't but luckily it was a lovely lady jogger with her spaniel and they had a good tear-about together. Then after they left he did giant zoomies but did come back when I called him so that's a win.
ANY-way, got the Pod to the vet where he had an extended snogging session with a boxer in the waiting room, then he duly stood still while his hideous glands were expressed (vet remarked they were very backed up so probably v. uncomfortable, and recommended a diet change). As we were leaving I saw my incredibly lovely tree surgeon in the waiting room, whom I walk with occasionally in the woods with his shepherds. He explained, will valiant effort to stay composed, that Oldest had had a stroke overnight and couldn't walk. The best he could do was "She's not too good at all, Hanging". I can't explain it but his face was just like looking down a long dark hole. Oldest was still heartbreakingly happy to see me and Pod and smiling all over her wonky face. I couldn't say much expect how sorry I was and left with my heart exploding. He text just now to say he's taking her home for some time in the sun with her favourite people for the rest of her last day. Agony agony agony. Have given Pod a lot of cuddles he doesn't want even though he's a bit smelly still. Urgh, how do we bear it. It reminds me so much of taking my ancient bunny to the vets to be euthanized when she got pneumonia. Have had many pets over the years but this one was extremely special. Feeling the tiny body that I'd spent 12 years pouring love, effort, money, time and emotion into keeping safe, well, happy and fed, the little body that I knew better than I know my own face - every marking, every white hair, every tiny toe - feeling her suddenly go limp in a nanosecond and everything just being over.... I don't know. It sounds mad to say about a rabbit but it was traumatic. I never, ever, ever would have been ready, basically - it felt like my heart had been ripped out.
Anyway, a sad ramble on such a sunny day but I'm sure as animal lovers you all understand. Hug your puppers.