What's the worst thing your dog has ever eaten?

[LovelyLittleBitofSquirrel]

SquirrelDog has only eaten things like discarded paper or packaging when out and about as a pup but now is A Very Good Girl <holds breath and crosses fingers>
But my friends tell me tales (tails?!) of their precious pups eating the family roast dinner off the kitchen side or half of the living room wall plaster 😂

Share your stories please!

I think mine is the worst.
I used to visit my gran a few times a week. For a few visits in a row I noticed the dog in his bed chewing on something really peculiar looking. I asked nan about it and she said I know, he keeps bringing these weird looking bones in from the backyard. I don’t know where he’s getting them from. I didn’t think much of it.
Next time he had an old chew toy that looked familiar. Suddenly I remembered and asked Isn’t that Fido’s favourite toy (Fido was her previous dog). She put her glasses on and looked at it closer, Yes it is. I asked Didn’t we bury that with Fido when he died? Yes, we had. The new dog had dug up the remains of the old dog. He was buried in the back yard and had risen because of heavy rain. The new dog had what was clearly a dogs skull in his basket with him and he was chewing on it.

When we were kids, the family dog ate an enormous crater out of an eight-egg baked cheesecake my mother had made for a dinner party (for some reason, I have vivid memories of her wailing 'EIGHT EGGS! Eight eggs I put in that cheesecake!) The dog then sat under the table groaning and farting throughout the dinner party.

This was the same dog that once carried a birthday cake out and consumed it in the garden. No one saw her do it but we found plate and candles on the lawn and not a trace of it on the route she must have taken. I'd love to know how she committed the crime so neatly.

Actually, now I think about it, the same dog once stole and ate a whole packet of fancy biscuits, again purchased for a celebration. They were called 'verboten' biscuits, the dog could not speak German.

Not the same but I'll share anyway.

New rescue dog. Just this evening she carefully carried DDs milk glass up the stairs, upright and intact in her mouth. She'd kindly spilled/poured the milk away on the hallway solid floor rather than the stair or landing carpet.

So that's another thing we now can't leave out.

Oh that's horrific 😢

Our late golden retriever had many fine moments, including:

Toddler pants (he stole them any chance he got and they came out the other end. I was the meanest mother to refuse when said toddler expected them to be washed and reused...)

A full post-egg-hunt basket of 37 Creme Egg sized Easter eggs. Which had been on a much higher surface than I thought he could reach. They'd been collected by dds and friends and were about to be shared out. Obvs was bank holiday £££ fees, vet made him sick, many of them came out perfectly intact and still in their foil. Entire small town was devoid of eggs except for ruinously expensive mini Lindt ones from Waitrose.

A builder's roast lamb sandwiches that he'd been looking forward to all morning.

A surgical glove

Bits of plasterboard

Socks

And of course he prided himself that no dropped food must ever hit the floor. Used to wait by the highchair when dds were babies. Loved that dog.

Again - I don't know whether to laugh or cry reading these! 😅

One of mine is an awful shit eater, I'm sure he's eaten human waste
My sisters dog once ate the whole Christmas turkey while it was cooling, bones and all, and a whole lasagne

That one wins🤢

Omg some of these are horrific!

A friend’s goldendoodle ate an entire packet of water balloons and spent a week shitting rainbows 🌈 🤣

SIL’s standard poodle is the pickiest eater ever with almost any ‘normal’ food but goes nuts for rotting dead animals, various unpleasant experiences including with a pheasant, a seal and a rabbit 🤮

A few years ago my next door neighbour had the entire family for Christmas dinner, so she had the most humongous turkey I have ever seen. A couple of days before Christmas she cleaned out the carcass of giblets and all the fatty bits before storing it in their cold room. For some reason she left the bits including a couple of kilos of fat outside their back door. My little collie went down the road for a stroll (we live rurally) and came back very pleased with herself. That night it began- white greasy diarrhea all over the downstairs of our house. It was just about impossible to get out of the carpet. And on Christmas day we had my dad and very judgemental stepmother for lunch. The place was a war zone, the dog was miserable, the other dog sulking because he wanted to eat what she'd produced and we wouldn't let him. Not the best Christmas, and all with tight lipped stepmother glowering at us. My much missed mother would have thought it was hysterical....

childhood springer was an escape artist and a right pain! every single basket she had she would chew down the sides until she was just sitting on a circle of wicker. in the end mum gave her a drawer as a bed she didn't destroy that!
her best was mum was expecting a posh relative and she put some butterfly cakes homemade on a plate on her serving trolley. suddenly she heard a clink of the dogs id tag and she had managed to eat all the 'wings' off the cakes!
that aside knickers snotty tissues books anything that stood still really
last dog jrt was more of a roller than eater apart from cups of tea worse find was a dead crow well decomposed before we could stop her she was rolling away and covered in rotting bird. all windows open on way home in the car.
present 1 dog jackahuahua he will eat cat pooh guinea pig pooh he has taught our other dog this habit cat food and brilliant at desqueaking toys not just stopping squeaking but destuffing so it looks like a snow storm in the room and then getting the squeaky thing out we find them everywhere, his record is a big stuffed toy very expensive, he helped himself at Pets at Home would not let go so had to buy it; £8 before we got home he had destroyed it in 7 minutes!

The family poodle, when I was a kid, ate some bread dough that my mum had set by the fire to rise.
It continued to rise inside him and the vet had to make him sick. He said the surgery smelt like a brewery.

The leather arm of an expensive antique arm chair, many many pairs of glasses, a few pens, the side of the hot tub lid, our wicker garden furniture, too many dog beds to remember and probably all the childrens soft toys ( which needed very prompt replacing of course). Don’t want to even guess at how many socks and shoes. He’s got a dog flap into a massive country garden so it can’t just purely be boredom. I genuinely think he’s Neuro diverse! We get bones from the butcher now on a very very regular basis to keep him busy. Fortunately husband knows the guy through farming connections- otherwise we’d be bankrupt 🤣. Literally gets a bin liner full of bones for the freezer and doggo ravages them frozen. He doesn’t care. He’s absolutely delightful in every other way. Adores people and children and cats. He does the old “Puss in boots” eyes and sits on his haunches if he sees anyone. You’d think he was an angel if you didn’t know. You’d never suspect the kleptomania.

I’d almost forgotten about this one - my mother used to have a dear little Norwich terrier. She had a box of maltersers on the bottom open shelf of a sideboard one Christmas. It was mysteriously getting less and less full. She blamed the grandchildren. Then one day she saw walked in the room unexpectedly and spied doggo going and helping himself to just one Malteser through the flip top lid and then scurrying off to eat it secretly.

I put an extensive list on here earlier but new recollections keep coming to mind. An airpod. Only the one. There needs to be an airpod exchange service where you can buy just the one from another dog owner with the same dilemma.

I found the fluffy contracts of a stuffed toy all over the living room - I’ve never yet found the actual skin of the toy the stuffing belonged to. He’s eaten shoes, socks, tried (and failed) to eat the cat - found him with the cats head in his mouth with the cat trying to fight him off. Had also tried to drink the water from the mop bucket (used to mop up a pee accident.

Hes an awful counter cruiser, so it’s only a matter of time before he eats some poisonous to dogs human food.

This is why i only ever have cats.(more discerning, cats being very picky & choosy,) Dont even go near their own pooh, let alone anyone elses.😂Dogs sound disgusting!

A plastic pot. It ended up completely obstructing his intestines and he was being sick after every meal. It was terrifying to watch him go from bouncy crazy puppy to pretty much lifeless in a couple of days. We took him to the hospital in the end, they x-rayed and found a shadow in his intestine but didn't know what it was. We were offered exploratory surgery and I'm so glad we took it otherwise he would have died. About a third of his intestine was necrotic.

Getting bouncy crazy puppy back after he'd healed up was the best feeling ever!

The worst from our lab was

• the foam inside of a sofa seat cushion during the night. We came downstairs and he had torn it to shreds and vomited some back up. It was the night before he was due in to be neutered so that had to be cancelled too.

• when out off lead he disappeared and wouldn't recall. Found him at a dumped freezer that was full of rotten, stinking, mouldy, and apparently delicious, food.

• again off lead and he came back eating something, gave him the command to drop into my hand and found myself in the middle of nowhere with a handful of shit (perhaps deer or sheep)

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

This is why i only ever have cats.(more discerning, cats being very picky & choosy,)

I don’t know, my cat ate a blackbird, I know this because he left the intact head and beak on my pillow next to my sleeping head as a gift. I woke eye to beak with a severed head.

I don’t know, my cat ate a blackbird, I know this because he left the intact head and beak on my pillow next to my sleeping head as a gift. I woke eye to beak with a severed head

😱
Like your very own version of 'The DogFather' 😆

😂 Indeed, I never found any other remains of the bird, not a feather in the house - until the cat started shitting them out…

I remember my childhood dog ate the string from a joint of roasting beef. Back in the day when the butcher hand tied them with string before the nets arrived on the scene. His poo came out perfectly rolled in string just as if the butcher had done it 🤢

Oh my goodness, I bet it's all fun and games in your house! Your earlier description

"he tried to eat the cat - found him with the cats head in his mouth with the cat trying to fight him off"
made me gasp with laughter just picturing the scene 😆

My cocker spaniel living room wall plaster eating owner friend also has a part Maine Coon rescue cat who regularly manages to drag in half alive pigeons into her house via the upstairs bathroom window.
He is huge though, we always joke he is bigger than my dog 😂
The worst part is my friend has a bird phobia so encountering pigeons half heartedly flapping about under her dining table is just about her favourite thing in the world as you can imagine 😁

My sister has a Maine Coon, it’s bloody huge - as tall as she is, no hunting yet but it’s a matter of time.

And yes, my house is a glorious riot most of the time. I’m often heard shouting at the dog to stop humping the cat, stop eating the bin etc, I also have a small piece of nibbled skirting board in my home office where he clearly was as bored as I was during a particularly long meeting.