Dealing with ‘touchers’

[PoliticalPossum]

Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with ‘touchers’ I.e the entitled bastards people who, even when they’ve asked and you’ve said no, try and touch your dog.

I’ve tried everything. Collar saying ‘do not touch’, telling people he’s aggressive (he’s not) to try and get them to go away, telling them forcefully no and, finally, telling them to (not very nicely) go away. I am fortunately blessed with a ‘resting bitch face’ which also does not seem to work.

Nothing works!!! The sense of entitlement of random people (including other dog owners) to pet my dog is starting to drive me insane. He’s a common ‘family friendly’ breed and is, unfortunately, incredibly beautiful - which seems to draw them in. When I had Rotties no one ever petted them! But him? Like flies to shit.

So, does anyone have any ideas?

Yes, I'm ok but I'm not the one creating merry hell over someone touching my dog I guess.
I'm just baffled as to why someone would be so upset by it, all her post seem passive aggressive to me but that's just my opinion.
Oh, I also wished everyone a blessed day and a happy dog walk so I'll say it again for the ones at the back ☺️

Who are all these people who think it's acceptable to just go up to people and touch their dogs? It's such bonkers behaviour

I walk dogs for a living and while many of them are fine with people, one or two are not and they really wouldn't appreciate some stranger coming up and touching them.

I remember earlier in the year walking two dogs on leads, one of whom is elderly, blind and going deaf, and some random bloke said "aw, lovely dog" and just reached out and petted her. Luckily she's friendly but she was obviously pretty freaked out as her tail went right between her legs and she leapt backwards. He then had a go at me for having an aggressive dog!

Later on that walk we saw a dad with his two young primary-age children, both of whom had the manners to ask - and she absolutely loved the attention (when it was done properly!).

Sure, some people are twats. You seem to come up against rather a lot. Do you live in a heavily populated area?

You’re either very unlucky, meeker than you think or is there a chance you’re a teensy bit precious about your dog and possibly overstating the behaviour of others? I have three Newfoundlands (man, that’s outing) who draw the crowds, but if I request people don’t touch or indeed give them space, I’ve never encountered someone who didn’t listen.

I used to get this constantly with my Bernese and Newfie and my response was always to say that it was up to the dogs. If there was any sign of whale eye, tail tuck or retreat, I'd then happily step in front of my dogs and say 'best not, she's clearly not feeling it today' . People seemed to respect that although they were clearly baffled about not being liked by a dog. That's their problem to deal with, not my dogs.

I live in Sevenoaks (which, tbh is probably as much of the problem as the dogs breed is).

I think the difference between a Golden and a Newfie is that if you tell people not to touch a Newfie, they listen. It appears to be different with a Golden (perhaps due to social media?). When I had Rotties, no one ever approached me - a PP was 100% accurate when they said people would cross the road to get away from their friends Rottie. But with a Golden it's like flies to shit...

We literally took 15 minutes to do a 5 minute walk yesterday as we kept getting stopped and DDog loves the attention, well he does these days but hes almost 10 and plods not so easy when he was younger (and resource guardy)

What does your dog do when people touch him? If he approaches them , they may be taking their cue from him . His body language has given them permission.

Tbf, I'd pat a dog that approached me , as I would take that as the dog giving consent.

On walks he's always on a loose-leash and walking to heel (I don't let him off unless I am 100% alone because he's intact) - and usually gazing lovingly at me for a treat, or shoving his nose into my hand or hip. He has very little interest in other people tbf...mostly because he's a spoilt little Prince who gets all the fusses he could ever want from me😁

He never actively approaches anyone out on a walk other than his girlfriend and girlfriend's owner.

We've found the problem right there. He's lovely.

Maybe an XL Bully mask would keep the fuckers away?

I had a dog that preened when people said nice things about him and loved fuss from strangers. I now have a dog that’s much more interested in other dogs than people and won’t even look at a strange human if there’s a dog in sight. Unless you have food you don’t exist for her. Same breed.

I had a goldie, they are pretty irresistible.
I still want to cuddle every single one I see, as I miss him sooo much.

I never minded the attention he attracted, but your dog, your rules .

I have this issue, but mine isn't a cute dog, he's a greyhound x lurcher who absolutely loves people, but if he's fussed the excitement fries his brain and he ends up like a kangaroo on a leash. Training is much harder when he isn't ignored.
My worst experience however was with my nervous rescue lab, he was a huge dog and very handsome, but he would have possibly bitten if stroked by a stranger.
A man was with his young son who had downs syndrome came marching up to us to stroke my dog because his son liked them. When I said no, he may bite I was given filthy looks and lots of tutting and huffing. Maybe I should have just let his son be bitten 😩
I've no issues with my dog being fussed by others when it's appropriate, and think it makes the world a nicer place to be, but the when appropriate bit is the key!

I'm sorry for your loss❤ I lost my Rottie a few years ago (hence now having a Golden - I couldn't face having another of the same breed) and I still miss him and want to cuddle every Rottie I see.

I agree, OP. My dog isn’t allowed to approach people on a whim so no one’s allowed to approach him. Not sure why people are struggling with that. If he gets petted by every other person it’s going to be harder to keep him away from people who don’t want to say hello.

Good point, we shouldn't allow our dog to approach people so why should people be allowed to approach our dogs?

I hate the unsolicited touchers! Mine gets a mixed bag of reactions as he isn’t a recognisable breed so doesn’t attract the same constant excited attention as a Goldie might. Some people see his pointy ears and avoid him (no idea why, but it seems to be a thing!) but we get a lot of curious people stopping us to ask what he is because they haven’t seen a dog like him before. They’re always quite put out when my best, most honest, answer is ‘a dog’ he’s a bit picky over who he is scared of, and it seems to change frequently so we generally don’t let people touch him unless he’s standing there beaming at them and wagging his tail when they ask. If he looks at all unsure, it’s a no.

I’ve told someone off before for offering him a treat without even saying hello to me. He didn’t take it, and she did at least have the grace to apologise and accept why she shouldn’t offer treats to random dogs without asking.

Oops, dog tax because he is gorgeous

I disagree with some of your assumptions about OP's willingness to be 'nice' - my initial suggestion was to give people the reason, OP said she shouldn't have to, I pointed out that her expectations of other people may, in light of that, be unreasonable.

Of course no person or animal "should" have interaction forced on them but the question was about how to deal with "touchers" and I stand by my advice on that.

If people persist when you've given clear reason then by all means tell them to f off but don't let that be the starting point.

I am a toucher 😬
I only touch if a dog approaches me….usually off lead, I kind of think “if you don’t want your dog being touched then teach them not to approach people when off lead”. Of course I would not touch a dog if the owner told me no too.

imdont really see the issue if your dogs not likely to bite and is friendly, you can’t really expect someone not to touch if it’s off lead and approaches them with its tail wagging?

I had never thought about it until now but I never touch dogs aside from my own. If a dog wanders up wagging its tail I might say something like "Hello Dog", I may occasionally enter into conversation with the owner, but I prefer not to stroke or cuddle their dog. Even if it's someone I know, such as a neighbour with their dog, I won't usually touch it.

Maybe this explains why I find the dog cuddlers intrusive and burdensome although I generally try to be polite.

That’s not the scenario most people are on about though.

It’s things like grabbing my dog while he’s asleep under a table. Touching him as he walks past on a lead without asking if it’s okay. Letting your dog run over on an extendable lead and shove its face in his as he’s ignoring yours. Encouraging your kids to come over and touch him while he’s sat minding his own business, or even letting your toddler try to climb him. Throwing your arms around his neck squealing about him being so fluffy as he’s sat waiting to cross the road. Lying over him for a selfie (yes really!) The list of stupid things people have done to my dogs is very long.

So I presume you've had some idiot try to sit their toddler on his back? When that happened with our first Pyrenean male it was the one time when I seriously lost my cool 😡I almost wished my boy wasn't so patient; at times he was too gentle for his own good.

This thread has really opened my eyes to the fact that this mauling of our dogs issue is seemingly a problem for a lot of us who have breeds that are apparently "cute". I think I'll now have a heightened awareness of it when I'm out with my girl and will act accordingly even if it means being a Mrs Grumpy Arse 😔

I had some kid try to ride my Goldie before
Parents thought it was cute, I pointed out it was not, then they said it was people like me that made kids frightened of dogs!
Fucking idiots

I have sadly. The parents were not watching. My dog was sat beside me as we watched a county show demonstration. I looked down to see a toddler sat on him with his arms around the dogs neck.

Most recently a grown woman decided to lie down on him. Brain cells clearly missing there.