Dealing with ‘touchers’

[PoliticalPossum]

Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with ‘touchers’ I.e the entitled bastards people who, even when they’ve asked and you’ve said no, try and touch your dog.

I’ve tried everything. Collar saying ‘do not touch’, telling people he’s aggressive (he’s not) to try and get them to go away, telling them forcefully no and, finally, telling them to (not very nicely) go away. I am fortunately blessed with a ‘resting bitch face’ which also does not seem to work.

Nothing works!!! The sense of entitlement of random people (including other dog owners) to pet my dog is starting to drive me insane. He’s a common ‘family friendly’ breed and is, unfortunately, incredibly beautiful - which seems to draw them in. When I had Rotties no one ever petted them! But him? Like flies to shit.

So, does anyone have any ideas?

Ohhh that's a good one. My DSis suggested I go with 'he's currently undergoing aggressive flea treatment.'

I'll give both suggestions a shot and see what happens!

On the plus side, only mobbed twice this morning and one of them was my dogs 'girlfriend' (and her owner) so I can't complain too much. Two people in 90 minutes feels manageable!

I am surprised so many people do it without asking.
We have a Goldie and so everyone loves him, we took him to visit DD at Uni on Saturday and we got mobbed - took ages to walk him a short way as so many student with dogs at home wanted to pet him. Without exception they all asked though.
Its not acceptable OP and I think the only way is to keep telling them to back off, it doesn't happen with some breeds - my friend has a lovely Rottie and everyone tends to avoid her

We have a Goldie and so everyone loves him, we took him to visit DD at Uni on Saturday and we got mobbed - took ages to walk him a short way as so many student with dogs at home wanted to pet him. Without exception they all asked though.

This is the issue - it does seem to be breed specific.

What worries and annoys me is the increasing number of people who ask, and are told no, but then persist in trying to pat him or fuss him. Or, in one case, literally got down on their knees in a pub to try and get him out for under the table (where he was determinedly trying to snooze-scrounge).

I just don't understand it!

Is yours a Goldie?
If so its probably the breed,I did have to peel a toddler off ours when he was younger and at that point we were working through some resource guarding issues so if he had something that toddler could have been very badly hurt.
The owner of said toddler was outraged when I pointed it out.
People don't understand Goldies and can't see past the floof and the smile to the fact that they are big dogs with big teeth - one of ours almost killed a GSD that attacked him, the owner of the GSD was actually laughing when his dog attacked ours, he stopped pretty quickly

@Hoppinggreen he is!

I feel your pain so much - they're lovely as a breed (definitely in terms of personality and overall I much prefer them to my previous breeds) but gods, do people underestimate them and forget they are still a dog and not a cuddly toy

I would always ask before patting someone's dog and trying to teach my toddler to do the same and I would definitely respect anyone who said no, but you do sound a bit extreme! I get it if you're in a rush or whatever but not sure why it's so offensive for people to interact with your dog in a pub when it sounds like the dog doesn't actually mind/may even enjoy the attention! I also think when people see dogs in pubs/cafes/restaurants they assume the owners are happy for others to interact with them or why bring them? Are you ever happy for others to touch/talk to your dog? I've never been the type to interact with other people's babies (prefer dogs!) but it didn't bother me at all when I was out in restaurants or the supermarket and people spoke to or touched my baby when he was a newborn even if they didn't ask, I just thought it's nice they find him cute and it's honestly just a few minutes of your time, not a massive inconvenience in the scheme of things. People get worked up about the strangest things.

You sound insufferable OP
Very defensive over nothing?
I really feel you need to dig deep and work out why this is upsetting you so much
There's bigger things to get riled over than people wanting to pet your friendly dog
Are you ok???

This. She's SO AGGRESSIVE

I'm fine. Thanks.

Just because my dog is friendly does not give anyone the right to continually pester us. I am well within my rights to not want people bothering me persistently to pet him. I should be able to drink my wine, eat my food or have a walk in peace without anticipating being bothered and harassed and my dog should be able to curl up under a table in a coffee shop without some entitled bastard woman/man/demented alien trying to force their way under the table to give him affection he does not want, nor need.

He is a living, breathing creature - not an ornament.

I think you have no idea what it's like trying to go for a quiet walk with a breed of dog that everyone thinks is like a cute fluffy bear. You just get sick of all the attention and people putting their hands all over your puppy when you're trying to train it to walk calmly without pulling. Sometimes it is very intrusive.

@ellitheelephant

I don't take my dogs in pubs/cafes/shops or even into town but people still constantly want to pet them when we are out on a country walk, and it gets very tedious. Sometimes it can be nice if people are interested, I agree, but other times it is very intrusive and not so nice for the puppy. My dogs are more sociable than they should really have to be.

I suspect this is one of those things that you can't fully comprehend without experiencing it for yourself.

I think that you have culture shock. It must be a massive change to go from rotties, where people will cross the street to avoid you to a golden retriever, where people will cross the street (and apparently climb under tables!) to get to you.

Ok cool but why get a fluffy attractive breed then if you don't want the attention?!?
Or hold on maybe you DO want attention....?????
Then pretend you find it irritating
Anyway have a nice day and an uninterrupted dog walk ✌🏻✌🏻

Thankfully not get to me! Any man trying to climb under tables to get to me would be met with a very painful knee in the face. 😁

But yes, definitely a culture shock!

If your dog is ‘fluffy’ and ‘attractive’ breed, your conversations with strangers end up with lots of emphasis on how much work it is to maintain the dog’s coat, the dog’s need for lots of exercise and the last time the dog caused damage to your house. If you love a breed the last thing you want is for people to buy one because they’re cute and fluffy.

Fair 😁

I have my breed because it suits my lifestyle and personality. We chose it for its temperament not its looks. We wanted a large guard dog that was not high energy and did not have a strong prey drive. We did not choose it because of its perceived cuteness but purely based on temperament..
I certainly do not want attention, I am introverted and socially anxious. I have no need to 'pretend', I do find the attention difficult.

Precisely. I don't want my (guarding) breed to be seen as a Cutesie Teddy Bear because it is far from being that in reality.

@PoliticalPossum Sorry for hijacking your thread a bit today but at least I'm on your side 😁

Absolutely no worries! Judging by this thread, lots of people with large 'fluffy' breeds struggle with this.

Not sure if I am relieved it's not just me...or frustrated the general population can't see past a dogs appearance to recognise it's a sentient being who wants to enjoy it's walk/snooze/scrounge without being bothered!

I see it as solidarity for those who understand this feeling. There must be a lot of us about.

We're off out for a walk now, with the "cutest puppy in the world" 😁Better put my sociable head on just in case...🙄

Nobody has a right to touch her dog without asking
Are YOU ok?

Repeats "not worth a ban, not worth a ban" to self

Mine usually stinks due to his habit of rolling in things plus his fluffy attention seeking coat tends to hold on to mud (and worse) so I find a quick "he did roll in fox poo if you are ok in getting covered in that" used to make people back off before we had DDog trained

Well no, because that's absolutely not a social norm is it? It is normal to pet dogs.

A less strawman equivalent might be someone talking to my child on the bus, in which case my answer would be no, I & my child don't always want that and I would say something like 'no thanks we're not in a chatty mood' or 'we're tired so we're going to go sit somewhere quiet'.

If I just say 'no', that's pretty rude so why would I expect someone to behave respectfully back to me?