Dealing with ‘touchers’

[PoliticalPossum]

Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with ‘touchers’ I.e the entitled bastards people who, even when they’ve asked and you’ve said no, try and touch your dog.

I’ve tried everything. Collar saying ‘do not touch’, telling people he’s aggressive (he’s not) to try and get them to go away, telling them forcefully no and, finally, telling them to (not very nicely) go away. I am fortunately blessed with a ‘resting bitch face’ which also does not seem to work.

Nothing works!!! The sense of entitlement of random people (including other dog owners) to pet my dog is starting to drive me insane. He’s a common ‘family friendly’ breed and is, unfortunately, incredibly beautiful - which seems to draw them in. When I had Rotties no one ever petted them! But him? Like flies to shit.

So, does anyone have any ideas?

I do this as well! He walks whichever side of me people aren't. So today he was by the railings that have a steep drop on the other side before you get to the beach, and I was between him and people...and they still try and do it.

It's worse in cafes (outside given his size) or pubs because I can't escape. On holiday I was reading enjoying my very large glass of wine whilst I waited for my dinner and he was curled up under my table aka hoping I might have some left over bread for him and a random man dropped to his knees and tried to coax him out.

Are we allowed to ask what he is, @PoliticalPossum ? Does he look cute and cuddly like our monsters?

You don’t want to get too close, he’s just rolled in something.

@BoobyDazzler and @Chemenger why does anyone have to have a reason? Are you that entitled with everything in life?

This drives me absolutely mad.

Mine isn't aggressive or reactive, and he's bloody cute, but sometimes I just want to enjoy my coffee/pint/walk in peace without having to engage with literally anyone else. He's my dog, and I'm under zero obligation to share him with anyone.

No advice apart from 'sorry, in a rush, can't stop' and keep moving.

I have this, too, large, fairly floofy dog that is stunning to look at. She has a soft, friendly looking face. She is 'mongrel' with one predominant breed look.
She loves adults but is a little wary of DC as we don't have littlies in the family. Don't think she would intentionally hurt one, but if she swings around, they go flying, puts a paw up, and it scratches.. you get the picture.
She does look at adults as if to say, "Well, make a fuss of me, then!"

Even the dog trainer says we can't walk around town doing group training without people stopping us, but they don't bother with the other dogs, who are the usual spaniel, labrador types.

He's a Golden (obligatory picture attached)! Not quite Pyrenean sized (thankfully!)

If people do approach then I just say "my dogs will not enjoy that"and keep on moving. They dont get the chance to get near.

In pubs dogs under my chair out of reach of people.

Not sure where you live but the people sound very weird.

The problem isn't people touching your dog, it's that you don't want to interact with people. Entirely different but valid problem.

Maybe you should wear a sign saying "agressive, don't approach".

"He's got an infection at the moment and he bites."

In one of my examples above, he was ignoring everything and everyone (except me) and still had some stranger get down on the floor and try and call him over.

Other people are the problem. Not me and not him. Admittedly though, the way people act is starting to make me not want to interact with people.

@PoliticalPossum

He's lovely but I'd still respect his space. I rarely stroke random dogs of any sort but I'm kind of a weirdo though, being the ultimate non-doggy dog owner 🤔

So now I'm going to state the bloody bleeding obvious and say that as he's a Golden Retriever you have social media to blame in some ways. The whole world seems to consider the GR as the perfect family dog and everybody wants one. No matter what breed you say you want on MN and elsewhere, whether it be an Irish Wolfhound or a Teacup Yorkie, someone will always say "have you thought about getting a Golden Retriever?"

So yeah, deffo go with a Kangal, Caucasian or Cane Corso next time around if you want your space 😁The GR is just too perfect for most people to resist.

PS - one of our Pyrie boys was, rather hilariously, once described by a random stranger as being "a Golden Retriever on steroids" 😂which made a refreshing change from him being a polar bear or a donkey...

Is your dog also trained not to near and jump at people

No idea.
Even with a "resting bitch face", which I can relate to, if the collar says not to touch, who TF would go on and touch anyway?
Out of interest, what might be going on with these
no touch dogs? Anxiety?
Non dog person here.

Yep.

I've trained him to know his 'left' and 'right' so when I walk him, he goes to whichever side I say (which is always the side away from where people are)...yet people follow him. He walks to heel.

At restaurants/pubs/cafes he goes under the table and ignores people. When I wait for a coffee he will pick the spot behind me (I.e. next to the wall). But people just try and reach past me to get to him. Given he is so big, I've been incredibly careful to train him well. I even walk him on-lead even though he has perfect recall and walk to heel off the lead - again, to try and keep people away.

I'm starting to think he's releasing some sort of pheromone to attract people. Maybe he's searching for a family that will give him steak for dinner every night...

Because dogs are just like we are. Some are introverted loners, others extraverted and sociable. Some of us just don't like people in our face.

I feel you, one of my dogs (spaniel) loves attention and is always happy to solicit it in public, but my other dog is nervous and although she isn't aggressive or bitey, she prefers to be left alone. Most people are fine when I say 'X is happy to be petted but Y (points) is nervous and prefers to be left'. But I do get people going 'OH she's NERVOUS, OH POOR THING, did something happen' etc while still trying to pet her. It's so annoying! Especially when the spaniel is there absolutely dying for all the attention 🤣

We used to have to do this too. We had two Pyrenean half sisters who grew up together but were chalk and cheese. R was sociable, loved everybody and lived for cuddles, her younger sister S was much quieter, she loved myself and DH and my parents but had absolutely no interest in anybody else. She wasn't aggressive or nervous, just very aloof. So when we walked them together, we would direct people who wanted to cuddle S over to stroke the friendly, bouncy R instead but we'd still get stupid people who'd say to S in a gooey baby voice "oh, are you being left out?" It's as if they don't believe you know your own dog. It's almost as if they're convinced "oh but she'll like me!" when actually, no she wont, she just wants to be left alone 🙄

Out of interest, do you like complete strangers touching your DC or patting your back?
If you don't, what's going on? Anxiety?

Why can't Humans respect another species? Why does everything have to revolve around them? Why does my dog have to yield to every person that wants to touch him?

We had that and even worse 'feeders'. People who will walk up to your dog whilst producing a treat from their pocket - often without asking.

I'm a gentle, mild mannered person 99% of the time but I really found my voice when it came to my dog. Be abrupt and walk on - they're the rude ones.

Yes. This. Drives me bloody mental!

Well then I wonder if you have unreasonable expectations of other people if it's just a case of not wanting it. If the dog's reactive, unwell etc then people shouldn't be touching it when you say no. But no for the sake of no, I don't think anyone owes you that out in public.

I completely disagree.

No one should be touching a dog they do not know - particularly when the owner of the dog has asked them not to and repeatedly tells them not too. It's incredibly bad manners. I don't need to give a reason or explanation. If I say no, then that should be listened to. For all they know, he IS aggressive. So it's just plain stupid and ignorant to pat a dog you've been told not to.

If I tell someone not to touch my dog I expect them not to. I do not expect them to ignore my wishes, pet my dog and genuinely cause a menace to me and him when all I want is to enjoy my day/walk/stiff drink/steak in peace and all he wants is to do his shit and then enjoy his walk/nap.

A dog being friendly and of a 'nice' breed is not a reason to pet it.

Of course nobody should touch your dog when you've said not to, but my point is people usually need to rationalise things to understand them and are more likely to listen when there's a "reason".

You'd be more likely to get what you want if you're willing to employ a bit of social lubricant, but you don't want to do that, so I don't think your expectations of how other people will respond are reasonable.

Dear me.
Who shat in your porridge today?
🙄

The cheek! 😯

That would tip me over the edge...