Puppy Survival Thread for New and Old Pups - here comes winter 2024

[Bupster]

I thought I might as well be the one to start the new thread! Nothing to report but a sleepy puppy over here.

Good luck today @peachgreen – you'll both be fine! x

Day 1. DP has been out the house for an hour so far and yes, I am already counting it down 😂 Her newest fun activity is trying to tear her bed apart so that’s… annoying. She’s definitely a digger. I’ve ordered a snuffle mat which will hopefully arrive today so she can have her lunch in that and it might distract her from the bed. Anyone else had a digger and had any success redirecting it?

I thought we were doing well, no accidents and I’ve been practicing some “flitting” with her which has been going okay – BUT then I went to refold her blanket and it was wet. Annoyingly I can’t tell if it was wee or just condensation from the frozen chew toy I gave her this morning – I even gave it a sniff and it smelled like biscuits so I was really none the wiser as the chew toy is one of those flavoured ones! Found myself thinking, as I sniffed it… I used to work for a big London bank and wear heels and go to the theatre twice a week and visit art galleries and write for arts magazines in my spare time and have fancy champagne lunches with clients – and now here I am standing in my crocs sniffing a wet blanket to see whether or not it’s covered in dog pee. Good Lord. I remember once having a similar moment when my daughter was a newborn, reheating a cup of coffee for the third time whilst covered in baby sick. 😂

Anyway, on the bright side it’s not raining and my boss is away at a meeting today so if I have to stand outside for 20 minutes at a time he’ll not notice. Little wins are what counts I guess!

Thank you all for being here. It’s ridiculous how anxious this day has made me, but you have all been so much help and so kind.

Little wins all the way 👍

I would decide the blanket was water not wee - whether it’s true or not at least it’s a nice thought!

Mine used to dig in the garden but isn’t much interested in the garden now he goes to the park and runs around off lead. Only really uses the garden to do his business in now, or take a special treat outside in case we change our mind!

I’m pretty sure it was wee because we just had a fruitless half hour in the garden – but let’s just pretend it wasn’t!

This is how she insists on napping – which is fine until she falls properly asleep and then slips off, giving herself a fright and waking herself up entirely 🙄

Oops, photo didn’t post…

Hiya @peachgreen
I can empathise. My four girls have all been pretty serious diggers and it is a sodding pain! None of my four boys were diggers. If she's digging outside just put something over the diggy hole (a stone, plant pot, whatever). If she's an indoor carpet digger like my current pup, just distraction; toy, snuffle mat, Kong, whatever you can to get her attention off the digging/scratching/ratching.

The good news is, as we all tell you ad nauseam, it gets easier as they get into a better routine. The bad news is that (in my experience) girls are harder. I know all the boy dog folks will disagree here, but girls are bloody stubborn - move them away from something and they go back. It can become a battle of wills. It is a challenge.

But yes, look for the tiny victories. They will come.

That’s funny 🤣

My pup has a lovely comfy donut bed in our living room but often prefers to sleep on the marble hearth instead. Or at least his body is on the hard marble, his head is lower on the carpet. Right next to his bed!

Making excellent use of her crate there @peachgreen 😆Mine tend to fall asleep on the sofa and roll off in much the same way 🙄

Thank you @PyreneanAubrie, that sounds like very good advice. Tbh our garden is such a state we don't really mind her digging out there (although she'd have to get used to having her feet hosed down...!) but it seems like a nightmare trying to train her that some places are okay to dig and not others...

Our last dog was a boy and he was pretty easy, other than his very annoying habit of ignoring you the first time and then doing what you asked on the second time with an air of "okay, I'll do it, but IN MY OWN TIME". It was hilarious – his recall was perfect, but always the second time of asking, and then he'd just saunter back casual as you like. I have heard from quite a few people that girls are harder! And our (genuinely lovely!) Evri delivery lady told me this morning that she had a friend with a Kerry Blue and she was the hardest to train dog she'd ever known 😂Just praying Betty's Shih Tzu tendancies will win out – whereas DP, who has always had and loved terriers (our boy was a Patterdale) loves their mischievous stubbornness so is secretly hoping for that!

Hahah @Twiglets1 @PyreneanAubrie why do they all love to have their heads hanging off stuff?! She loves her crate and goes in there happily for bedtime and to chew her toys – but apparently daytime naps must be in this spot. We tried taking the blanket off and she was MOST displeased!

Honestly, it's madness what you have to do. I have, before now, stood, reading a book, with my knees pressed against the sofa to prevent Brie from rolling off onto the floor. And this puppy was not being allowed on the furniture 🙄Hmmm.

Her current thing is plunking her huge bum on the back doorstep and just sitting there for ages, which means the door won't close, so that's a lot of fun when it's freezing cold. She's a very effective door stopper for outside, that doubles up as a draught excluder indoors so a multitasking dog.

Maybe Betty will be a multitasker too; snuggly Shih-Tzu for you and stubborn terrier for your chap...?

I hope she'll crash-out and sleep for you at some point today so you get a break. It can be full-on when they're little.

Well, we got an outdoor wee and had a good ball throwing session so hopefully she'll sleep now, although she's back on top of her crate so she'll no doubt roll off and wake herself up again...!

Brie sounds brilliant – and also a magnificent name!

Awww, well, that sounds good re play and a wee. Fingers crossed that she stays put for a while and doesn't roll off.

Brie is hilarious! She's officially Aubrielle, we toyed with Aubrie and Brielle but she's ended up as just Brie. The dog trainer told us she has the right name; she wasn't fussed about sausage or chicken as a training treat, she just wanted the cheese. So her nickname is now Cheesy Breezy 😂

Sorry that is so funny re sniffing the blanket @peachgreen 🤣 I remember having similar thoughts when toilet training - I never thought I'd be so happy to see a dog shit outside. Very glamorous.

This afternoon has been tough. She won’t settle in her pen and has started barking at me for attention. And she weed on the floor within minutes of coming in from my third attempt at having her out. Currently weeping in the garden at the prospect of having to do this two days a week for the rest of time!

@peachgreen I’d have thought you’d be able to smell for sure if she’d wet her blanket so I’d take it as a win! I empathise totally with standing there taking stock of your life: I used to wonder, at midnight, when I was almost crying out in the garden begging her to ‘please god go for a poo’ what had happened to the competent, professional adult that I knew I was. And yes, in crocs. You do get yourself back, I promise. Can’t guarantee you won’t still need crocs though.

We have never had bed destroying here but she does dig outside which is fun. Generally I find that ignoring it makes it go away as most of these irritating behaviours are attention-seeking (in my experience).

What an amazing nap position! Pupsy does a lot of this – lying with her head up a cushion/the sofa arm/my body. I don't seem how it can be comfy, but she seems to like it.

Just refreshed as I was typing to see your latest – not settling and barking might well mean she’s over-tired. It still means that for us sometimes and pupsy is 18 months. An enforced nap might be in order?

Hahaha @PyreneanAubrie Brie the draught-excluder! That’s amazing.

Yes I just put her in her crate because I wasn’t coping and she whined for a bit but then instantly fell asleep – and of course now I have to go and get my daughter from school so will have to wake her up 😭 oh dear. I’m sure it will get easier…!

I'm sorry you're struggling. Try to think of this as the hardest day, because it likely will be.

I know it's not helpful for us to keep telling you it will get easier and I wish there was something more constructive we could do... but just hang on in there. You can do it. We've all survived it and you will too.

Honestly it really does help to hear that, thank you. The thing is, I know that I have no choice but to keep going because DP and DD love her so much already and I made a commitment to her – but somehow that doesn't make it any easier to actually DO when I'm exhausted and struggling to cope. In fact it almost makes it harder as I feel so trapped!

I'm already researching doggy daycares, but I know DP will never countenance her going – our last dog died after a kennel stay so he won't use anything like that again (understandably).

You will be fine. Trust me. This is my ninth puppy - she's 8 months now and I swear to you the first weeks are the worst. You do feel trapped because you have this little thing that needs you to be there but (unlike a human baby) is hell bent on destruction! When they fight sleep it's the worst; overtired puppies are horrible; they make you cry, they give you anxiety attacks and nothing prepares you for it.

However, you slowly establish a daily routine for you and pup, and you sort of go on auto pilot. Yes, you still get a few difficult days but far more good days. Toilet training is the first hurdle, the one after that is teething but then it gets a hell of a lot easier.

I can't advise on daycare, we've never gone down that route, partly because of having a giant guarding breed - that complicates everything. Daycare and dog walkers are understandably reluctant to take dogs like ours, but we're also old-school; there was no doggy day care or dog walkers or crating when we started out in 1977. That's not a criticism, by the way, if you feel that a few hours of respite is needed then daycare may be an option for you to consider. There may be someone here who could advise...

@peachgreen sorry you're having a tough afternoon. Just remember they need SO much sleep when they are tiny. Usually a nap solved most of our problems at that age! Sometimes V was only awake for 30-40 minutes and needed a 2 hour nap again.

I remember so many days where I'd be thinking 'ok just get through to X time and it will be fine.' Usually X was the most acceptable time to put him to bed after tea time 🤣 Then slowly I realised that I wasn't struggling through to that time any more, and the days got slightly better and better as they passed.

I found these threads comforting as I heard how the slightly older pups were getting on and I'd also be counting down to those milestone ages too. And the weeks just flew by in the end.

@peachgreen That’s a really good way to think of it – that it can’t get worse than the first day. It can only get better because every day, as @YorkshireFelix says, gets a bit easier. I was just the same, wishing the days away until it was supper and then bed for her and I could go and cry somewhere quietly and then somehow do a whole day’s work.

If you can find a daycare that your DP will countenance given what’s happened, and it’s a lovely nurturing in-home one, it might be worth considering for later, when she’s a bit older. I was sceptical about them as pupsy is my PFB, but the one we use (very occasionally) is superb: she comes home exhausted but not hyped and she has to behave there as she does at home. It’s not a wild west and the lady that runs it adores every single dog like they’re her own. I don’t mind admitting that when she was smaller I did book her in sometimes when I didn’t ‘need’ to, just to give myself a break. She would come home sleepy and I would pick her up having missed her, which really helped me recognise how much I loved her. I don’t do that anymore because I love having her around and 99pc of the time she’s a wonderful person to be with in the house while I’m working.

Thank you everyone. I'll talk to DP and see how he would feel about finding an in-home daycare, just for one day a week so I only have to do one day of juggling her and work. Obviously it will be a while before she could go but even having it in the future might help.

She's been asleep on her crate for 30 minutes or so, so that has helped – and DP is on his way home as his meeting finished early so as soon as he's here I'm going to go and cry in the bath! It's so helpful to know that I'm not the only one who has struggled – I keep thinking I must just be not cut out for this, or too selfish or something, so it is comforting to see some of you struggled too, and have made it out the other side!

Well, she woke up and immediately peed on the floor, then while I was clearing that up DD discovered she had also at some point today peed in her crate without me realising. This is despite me spending about 2 hours back and forth in the garden with her. I got hardly any work done, I spent most of the afternoon in tears and now that DP is home instead of spending time with my daughter I’m sobbing in the bath. I don’t think I can do this. I’m not even sure I want to. I can literally feel myself shutting down emotionally. But I have no choice. God, I’m pathetic. I really hope you’re all right and today is the hardest day.

Oh @peachgreen.

You are cut out for this, but it is A LOT and it takes a while to get used to. I cannot overstate how normal everything you’re feeling is. I didn’t eat a proper meal for about two months when I first got pupsy and I was doing it 90pc on my own as dog-dad works away during the week. I cried on a bemused pharmacist in Boots because I was so panicked one day after the stress gave me actual hives. I thought I was going to need ADs. I genuinely tried to give her to my parents, and indeed to every single person we met on every single walk. A lady from the village found me crying in the park one morning at 7am, just utterly overwhelmed. I was SO irrationally sad, beyond what I had previously imagined sad to be. This little puppy needed me but I couldn’t see beyond my own misery and the thought of life never regaining any joy. Even then it seemed mad because she was, and is, the definition of joy.

I’m not saying this to luxuriate in my past sadness but just to reinforce the point that your feelings are perfectly acceptable, but you CAN do it, as the dog lounging over my legs now is proof of. Pupsy and I turned a corner when I accepted that she had to come first for a bit, but that corner only appeared with time and I think even if I'd been jolly and robust about it from day one, it still would have been a torture.

You’re not pathetic, and things WILL get better. Today is the worst day because it was the first, and the next will be easier because you have learned from today xxx