In the hopes that this little tale makes you feel better about the chaos...
The following is between my two nicely bred (well one is, one not so much) posh pedigree dogs, one of whom is a Saluki... and they are 8!
Saluki Princess: glares at Boydog on footstool between my legs GRRgrrGRRRRRRRRRgrrrrrrrrr I WANT THAT SPOT
Boydog: pointedly snores
SP: Outrage levels dialed up two more notches GrrrGRRRRRRRRYOWLGRRRRRRR Get OUT of that spot NOW! RIGHT NOW stampy feet
Boydog: shuffles his face around so as to not be two inches from herselfs face Snore.
SP: OUTRAGE AT 11. GRRRRRYOWLYAPGRRRR UNHOLY SCREECHING GRR GRR I HATE YOU, YOU HAVE FLEAS AND SMELL OF THE WEEWEE makes nasty alien faces with all the teeth
Boydog: Luxurious stretch, yawns in her face, curls back up tighter
SP: thinks. Sounds of cogs whirring. Some of them clunk a bit.
SP: Sets ears to Flirt Mode - Heyyyyyyyyyyyy boydog, lets play, lets flirt, I will chase you, you can chase me, wheeeee look at me skip around with my frilly ears I am so appealing and lovely...
Boydog: ' Ohhh... ooh... hmm'.
Me: No... she's playing you. She's lying. Don't fall for it idiot...
Boydog: ' CAN'T RESIST, MUST FLIRT BACK'
Both: Mad chase round the room - she instigates a trumpet practice (both yodel loudly for 30 seconds oh my poor neighbours) - he still trumpeting, does not spot her leap into his vacated spot... curl up tight like a little bun and immediately feign sleep.
Boydog: 'What happen?.... Oh no....' sad sighs
Me: Yup, I told you, played you like the 2p slots at the arcade AGAIN. You never learn. Bested yet again by the Ultimate Bringer of Chaos, the Mayhem-monger, the Dastardly Diva.
Boydog: I might be stupid, (he is) but I am sweet though? (He really is.)
Me: Yes you are throws him a treat which she doesn't notice cos shes too busy feigning sleep.
This happens most days. She is a total cow, and he adores her!