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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Oh my giddy god......

984 replies

HangingOver · 30/09/2024 13:58

I can't actually believe I'm finally typing this... I think I'm getting a dog!

I've wanted one of my own my entire life. I had one growing up and look after friends and neighbours at every available opportunity as I adore dogs so much. A rescue came up locally and I thought he looked lovely, he was snapped up immediately, but came up again yesterday! Me and DP are meeting him this afternoon.

Any tips for meeting a rescue for the first time? Other than being gentle and calm? He's 8 months so a bouncy chap.

ARGGGH! So excited. 😁

OP posts:
Thread gallery
109
HangingOver · 26/10/2024 15:45

Haha it's called the zoomies I think but DP and I christened his moments Devil Dog.

OP posts:
OldSpeclkledHen · 26/10/2024 18:05

@HangingOver you've taken on a teenage dog that's already been through a lot, and you've only had him a couple of weeks - so he's still
in absolute turmoil and hormones are probably kicking in too. I think it's absolutely great that you're giving him a chance, please be kind to yourself and him.
I reread most of your posts again today, absolutely make the most of the trainer, and whilst it might not feel like it right now, this will pass. Puppy/dog blues are normal - and that's for people that had their dogs from pups!
Sorry about your Nanna too - never a good time xx

Awfeckoff · 26/10/2024 18:38

FFS, those saying give him back, op hasn't even had him a month!
Op, so glad you are carrying on. X

Bthebestucanb · 26/10/2024 19:09

Awfeckoff · 26/10/2024 18:38

FFS, those saying give him back, op hasn't even had him a month!
Op, so glad you are carrying on. X

I admit to being one of the posters who questioned how much the OP could tolerate especially after reading her feedback when it's been really tough. I genuinely hope it works out but in the same breath I'd be interested to hear how long other owners battled on before admitting they couldn't cope.

Awfeckoff · 26/10/2024 19:15

Bthebestucanb · 26/10/2024 19:09

I admit to being one of the posters who questioned how much the OP could tolerate especially after reading her feedback when it's been really tough. I genuinely hope it works out but in the same breath I'd be interested to hear how long other owners battled on before admitting they couldn't cope.

I've had 3 rescue dogs. One took at least 4 months, a second seemed to settle quite quickly, but he followed the first dog around for guidance.
My girl dog had been quite cruelly treated and it took her 6 months to settle, and a year for her personality to come out.

Bthebestucanb · 26/10/2024 19:30

Awfeckoff · 26/10/2024 19:15

I've had 3 rescue dogs. One took at least 4 months, a second seemed to settle quite quickly, but he followed the first dog around for guidance.
My girl dog had been quite cruelly treated and it took her 6 months to settle, and a year for her personality to come out.

That's reassuring 😊

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 26/10/2024 19:30

OP I'm going to suggest trying a supplement from Vince the Vet if your vet is okay with it. https://www.vincethevet.co.uk/remedies/anxiety-behaviour/ultimate-anxiety-relief-behaviour-improvement-50ml.
I tried his arthritis remedy when heavy duty painkillers stopped working for my dog. I was highly sceptical but desperate. To my amazement she was skipping around like a puppy within a few days. My logical mind says that's ridiculous but it's nevertheless what happened. It may just take the edge off things to allow everything else you're doing to work.

Bthebestucanb · 26/10/2024 19:32

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 26/10/2024 19:30

OP I'm going to suggest trying a supplement from Vince the Vet if your vet is okay with it. https://www.vincethevet.co.uk/remedies/anxiety-behaviour/ultimate-anxiety-relief-behaviour-improvement-50ml.
I tried his arthritis remedy when heavy duty painkillers stopped working for my dog. I was highly sceptical but desperate. To my amazement she was skipping around like a puppy within a few days. My logical mind says that's ridiculous but it's nevertheless what happened. It may just take the edge off things to allow everything else you're doing to work.

This sounds perfect. I'm not even a dog lover but I do care, especially reading threads like this.

mydogisthebest · 26/10/2024 19:38

Bthebestucanb · 26/10/2024 19:09

I admit to being one of the posters who questioned how much the OP could tolerate especially after reading her feedback when it's been really tough. I genuinely hope it works out but in the same breath I'd be interested to hear how long other owners battled on before admitting they couldn't cope.

We have had 7 rescue dogs. 4 settled quickly but the other 3 were pretty challenging.

The worst was the one we have now. We got him at 7 months and he had had 3 different homes who all gave up on him. One after a week, one after 3 days and one after one day! They all knew his background which was that he had never lived indoors, had been abused, had not had food or water on a regular basis. Had been kept locked in a shed so never seen grass, trees, birds, cars, any animals apart from his mum and siblings.

We have had him 10 years and for at least the first 2 years it was far from easy. He is a million times better now and very loving to me and DH but still scared of quite a lot of things. He has to be walked in quiet places so that he sees as few as possible of people and dogs.

We have never given up on a dog or cat

Bthebestucanb · 26/10/2024 19:42

mydogisthebest · 26/10/2024 19:38

We have had 7 rescue dogs. 4 settled quickly but the other 3 were pretty challenging.

The worst was the one we have now. We got him at 7 months and he had had 3 different homes who all gave up on him. One after a week, one after 3 days and one after one day! They all knew his background which was that he had never lived indoors, had been abused, had not had food or water on a regular basis. Had been kept locked in a shed so never seen grass, trees, birds, cars, any animals apart from his mum and siblings.

We have had him 10 years and for at least the first 2 years it was far from easy. He is a million times better now and very loving to me and DH but still scared of quite a lot of things. He has to be walked in quiet places so that he sees as few as possible of people and dogs.

We have never given up on a dog or cat

😪 no words this time apart from well done

sonjadog · 26/10/2024 23:01

Six months is the usual for a rehomed dog to settle on average. But it obviously depends on the dog, their past experiences, the owners, etc. It can take a lot longer for their true personality to appear, especially if they have come from a traumatic background. My dog took about a year to really start coming into his own.

oakleaffy · 27/10/2024 01:28

Bthebestucanb · 26/10/2024 19:09

I admit to being one of the posters who questioned how much the OP could tolerate especially after reading her feedback when it's been really tough. I genuinely hope it works out but in the same breath I'd be interested to hear how long other owners battled on before admitting they couldn't cope.

Our local vets said a lot of overseas rescue dogs shipped over in Lockdown are no longer owned-
The aggression and other behaviour levels were too much for the average owner to bear, and the rescues didn’t have good backup.

However, not all second hand dogs are hard to manage- A lot of Greyhounds are easy ( Vet sees a lot of those as a charity rehoming them has our practice as their vets

Often if I call in for dog toothpaste , a gentle calm Greyhound is waiting to be seen.

Early experience counts for so much.

If a dog has gone through multiple homes, there is usually a reason for it, either a mis match by the “rescue” or very severe behavioural issues.

One very beautiful Lurcher had separation anxiety so badly that she would severely injure herself. It caused multiple returns ~ people thought they could manage, but then failed.

The only suitable home for her would have been a stables or similar where she could be with her owners 24/7 -where people were around constantly .
She was returned so many times it was unbearable.

( She would be RIP now due to age)

Our own Lurcher had SA but thankfully nothing like this - it probably took almost a year for her to really settle properly but she was calm, just “remote” initially.

WillowTit · 27/10/2024 08:10

i dont leave my dog in garden alone, learned the hard way with neighbours complaining!

HangingOver · 27/10/2024 09:48

The aggression and other behaviour levels were too much for the average owner to bear, and the rescues didn’t have good backup

TBH in my less charitable moments I have wondered about this. I don't think it's in any way malice or deliberate misleading on their part... I think they're simply a small charity of dog-lovers trying their best.

But they did keep emphasising he'd been returned 'through absolutely nothing he'd done' which, given I've lived with him for three weeks now, I find hard to believe (obviously his challenging behaviour isn't his 'fault' but you know what I mean). I suspect the previous owners made up benign excuses about work shifts etc. in order to swiftly return him without anyone trying to talk them into trying to manage his behaviour. Which tbf, especially the ones with kids, I completely understand, even though it's unfortunately led to him become more traumatised as a result.

But anyway, we are where we are. I've barely heard from the rescue so I'm not counting on them and pressing on with my own trainer (and you lovely lot).

We're not going to the enclosed field today - his whole personality in the last 48 hours seems to have been replaced with boiling white-hot rage-spiders so I'm keeping him as quiet as possible and doing his snuffle ball (SUPERB invention!) over and over and over as he seems to find it quite soothing. I've also bitten the bullet and ordered him an extortionate Tearrable, the big one that looks like a COVID molecule. He's currently tangled up in a patch of sunlight fast asleep while I catch up with some work. Looks like he has about 8 legs.

I was awake in the night thinking about the jumping-and-biting thing...
Taking the emotion out of it and looking purely at his body-language, and what triggers it, I really feel as if what's happened is he's become very attached to me (because I'm the one who is here all day) and when he's overstimulated/in zoomies he wants to play with me as if I'm one of his fellow street dogs. When you look at how he approaches you, where he jumps, how he moves his body, it's the same thing he does with my friends' dogs when he want to play.

Had a good chat with trainer last night and described the behaviour in detail... we're coming up with a proper management plan next week but we've already got some good temporary ones that work with the layout of our garden that mean I can remove myself pretty much instantly when he starts. I've also triumphantly remembered an old leather jacket I owned years ago that is very thick and covered in metal zips. So if I temporarily wear that in the garden and stay near the back door, if he does a shark attack I can calmly and silently walk indoors and shut the door on him til he's calm without any damage to my skin. Result! He is a very, very quick learner so hopefully, like the lead biting, this will be a flash-in-the-pan behaviour that he will get bored of quickly when it's not fun for him. And if it comes back at least we can go straight into managing it without the flailing and squealing that makes him think it's a jolly good romp. Trainer is still of the opinion that with his age and background this behaviour isn't particularly worrysome (in the sense that, obviously it's unpleasant, but he doesn't think it's especially unusual or indicative of aggression/him being a 'bad dog' in the future). And as he's said a couple of times, if Pod were a Dachshund these impulses would be annoying rather than alarming - but because of Pod's size it's essential we treat this swiftly.

Alsoso, I keep reminding myself we've had him THREE WEEKS. The longest he's been in any home, but barely. And in the last few days we've thrown so much at him: car, trainer coming here, puppy classes, vets, other visitors (the diary fuck-up I mentioned up-thread).

Yet in that time he's slept through the night, indicated to pee at night and gone straight back to sleep, slept and cuddled on the couch with us, learned loads of new commands in English, learned a new name, started loose lead walking beautifully (sometimes!), met so many new dogs, delivery drivers, so many new sounds outside (rescue was very rural) of children shouting, workmen, dogs barking, cars and people going by, neighbourhood cat smells, not to mention dishwasher, washing machine noises and the creak and cracks of the house... and just... EVERYTHING. In three tiny weeks. So yesterday, yes, I thought "why in the fucking fuck am I trying this hard for an animal that jumps and barks and makes holes in my clothes" but look at everything else he's done. The bad is like 5% of the time, and the rest of the time he's growing into his new home so beautifully and learning and adapting.

Had dinner our with DF last night, talked a lot about Nanna, and the right to die etc. I'm not exactly sad she's died because she was in a ghastly way but I do feel terribly sorry that she had to go through all that and was miserable for so long. Towards the end she got quite obsessed and upset by why her daughter (my DM) had died aged 60 while she was still here at 98.

I've just read all that back and I sound quite calm. I'm not really. But I did unearth an unopened pack of betablockers upstairs this morning so I've had one of those and feel a bit less turbulent.

Hang in there with me, Podsquad, you're keeping me sane. x

Oh my giddy god......
OP posts:
Lentilweaver · 27/10/2024 09:50

Aw. No advice but so sorry to hear about your Nannas passing. Hope Pod improves.

WillowTit · 27/10/2024 10:06

so sorry about your loss

sonjadog · 27/10/2024 10:12

The leather jacket sounds like a excellent idea. I am very glad you have a trainer to work with you. I know it is upsetting when a dog jumps like Pod does, especially because he is big and his sharp teeth, I had a dog who did similar for a while. He was a puppy in his head, but in a large adult dog's body. He had never learnt in his previous home to tone down his behaviour. Nothing you have written about Pod so far makes me think that he sounds like an aggressive dog, so I think the trainer is right that this will pass with time. Pod's life has been turned upside down in the last weeks and he is doing so well for most of the time. It seems like you are enjoying having him on the whole, with the exception of these episodes?

BettyBardMacDonald · 27/10/2024 10:45

It's great that you are reflecting on everything the poor boy has been through. It seems like a lot has been thrown at him all at once. God knows what his past has been like. I think he is doing quite well, all things considered.

The behaviours you describe have always sounded like rough play. He doesn't seem malicious. Really hope he settles down.

HangingOver · 27/10/2024 10:56

Pod's life has been turned upside down in the last weeks and he is doing so well for most of the time. It seems like you are enjoying having him on the whole, with the exception of these episodes?

I truly am. After a snoozy morning we just had an excellent half hour in the garden playing with his toys. I'm extremely hot in a leather jacket and hovering near the door for now but he's been playing really good tug with his new pheasant and dropping it for a treat on command. No jumping so far. This is what Sunday's could be like! ☺️

OP posts:
MaxandMoritz · 27/10/2024 11:07

I really admire your attitude and willingness to persevere, OP. You're right that he has coped with a lot in a short time.

My present dog, a large lurcher, was manic in some ways for the first months, though never as much as your Pod. She was already four years old when I got her though so well past the adolescent stage!

I used to lie awake wondering what I'd done as I'm old and live alone, so was afraid she was too strong for me, especially the way she reacted to other dogs.
Ironically I live on the edge of a park but after a few attempts stopped walking her there as she couldn't cope with the other dogs and I couldn't cope with her when she lunged and barked at them. After some trial and a lot of error we just walk in the quiet streets of our residential neighbourhood and keep things calm and low stress. Probably not ideal but we're both happy.

I use an excellent dog walker for extra walks a few times a week and being bigger and stronger than me he can take her in the park and let her close to other dogs. She can cope better now and he can move her along if she does react. That's been great for her.

I really hope your huge efforts pay off. You and Pod both deserve it. My worst time was months two and three but they're all different!

sallydoodlecat · 27/10/2024 11:20

I've been following this thread from the start and check for updates frequently. Just wanted to say firstly I'm so sorry about your Nanna. And how amazing I think you are. Keep going. Look after yourself. It's not easy getting a new dog even one who has no behavioural "issues" so this must be a rollercoaster ride for you both.

montelbano · 27/10/2024 11:38

Good morning OP. Sorry for the loss of your nanna.
I read your last post carefully. and the replies. You are quite right in that Pod has had to process an immense amount of info on a very short time and begin to learn different behaviours. I don't think the rescue centre was entirely honest with you and saw you as ideal adoptee for a dog with challenging behaviour. i.e. no children, no other pets, someone at home 24/7, good access to the outdoors, a loving enthusiastic nature, etc. ,and skimmed over exactly why others had returned Pod so quickly.
The only advice I can give is to focus on the positive and the speed at which Pod has learned so much in a short time. At the same time, discuss as much as you can with the trainer (and also the vet) and try and identify triggers. Pod does trust you as is clearly shown in the pix of him asleep on your lap. He is almost certainly picking up on your anxiety and grief about you nanna over the last couple of weeks.
Try to give both of you the time he needs to continue to grow and learn.
I don't have dogs but have had a succession of rescue cats. Friends run a cat rescue so when I adopted Big Cat, I knew exactly what I was taking on. He was big and vicious but had been so badly treated that we didn't think he would last another week ( 19 years later...!). If I went to close to him he would launch at me and be hanging on my arm with his jaws. Hissed, scratched, and spat, etc. After about 3 months, it was like he woke up one morning having had a complete personality change in the night. He was the biggest, softest, cuddly,loving, mummy's boy imaginable and never, ever bit me again. I miss his companionship every day😿😿
Hang on in there if you can and I think.I would be having words with the rescue centre.

Bupster · 27/10/2024 11:41

Just popping in to say yes, Pod's doing amazingly well, @HangingOver - but you are too. Give yourself oodles of credit here, you're being wonderful.

I read recently that not only are adolescent dogs the most likely to be surrendered to a shelter, but they also find the experience much harder to process than either puppies or adults. The stability and commitment you're giving him is precisely what he needs.

And yes, what you're describing does sound like play - I read somewhere else a panicked owner asking for help about a dog she thought was aggressive because it had its bum in the air and was barking; basically it wanted to play but she didn't understand the signals. If it is play behaviour, he will grow out of it - or rather, recognise you're not someone to play with in that way, especially if you're offering other kinds of play. LONG tug toys might be the way forward? Tug-e-nuff do some super strong ones, and they and Paws Trading have some which have rabbit fur on the end, which might suit his breed instincts?

Anyway, I just wanted to say how much I admire you and I'm cheering you on.

Doggielove · 27/10/2024 11:49

Im so glad your able to see and list all those things he has managed and how remarkable that really is. The Dashund analogy sounds important.

BettyBardMacDonald · 27/10/2024 11:51

When I was despairing with a couple of young rescue pups, brothers, my elderly lady neighbour said "be patient. You'll get to know them, and they'll get to know you, and everything will be fine."

She was right. It became more than fine. I miss them every minute of the day.