I hate having a dog

[Littlesadstate90]

Name change for this one…..

I live our dog, but I hate having a dog.
we have a 1 year old Labrador. First months were tough but we spent a lot of time and money on training. And I still do the training I’ve learnt with her most days.

she’s a dream indoors, amazing with the kids.
not very good on the lead when out on a walk but we’ve been been working hard on that and have made good progress.

the reasons I hate having a dog are the mess all the time from toys, blankets, beds she eats. The hair everywhere all the time, I have to hoover every single day. The smell, I don’t actually notice her smell until I walk into the house from being out and just smells like dog!
getting in from a day at work and needing to walk her when I’m shattered, I always do of course as I know it’s a necessity and she needs it but sometimes it feels like a chore! Husband doesn’t walk her often as he is out the house for work more hours than me and I work from home some days so it naturally falls on me.

i love having gatherings at our house and socialising, especially in the summer . But with the dog it creates some anxiety in me when we have people over. She’s still so young, very playful and can jump up when excited. She can knock small children over……. she can reach the table tops and takes food off of near the edge.
For these reasons I’ve really cut down on having people over. Which makes me sad.

i know these reasons may sound really silly to most dog owners but im just being honest about how I feel so don’t shoot me down.

my husband and kids love her so much and so do I! But I wouldn’t miss her if she was gone which sounds terrible I know 😔 makes me feel awful.

Poor dogs , so many that are unloved 😢. I say give them up so they can go to someone who loves them.

The OP says her dog is very loved, and I suspect that's also true for the vast, vast majority but unfortunately love doesn't make it any less of a tie or a commitment.

Don't be soft.

I hate my one year old Labrador this morning. She's been eating the rug again. I left her with the other dog at 1am. Woke in pain at 4am she heard me get up for painkillers and whined for ages. I went back to bed. Husband got up at 6am to let them both out and they came into the bedroom. They went for a long walk, came back, had breakfast. I went for a shower. While I was in the shower she chewed the rug. Ten minutes max she wasn't watched.

Yeah I really hate her this morning.

Does a lot of how you feel come from that you are left to do most of the looking after and tidying up after the dog?

In terms of having guests, you will have to adapt . Keep the dog on a lead , or in a crate while visitors are there. Even consider a muzzle if she steals food.

I do empathise. When my lovely calm, sweet natured old boy passed I waited a couple of years before getting another. Very similar breed and size, but omg totally different kettle of fish! Excitable, barking, highly strung and very very needy! Fortunately clever too and trainable (I am very experienced and know what to do) but so much harder work than his predecessor. Do love him loads and would never part with him, but can't help feeling a bit guilty about wishing he was different.

It is definitely okay to admit that it is really, really tough when they are young and have moments of 'what on earth have we done'! Especially with puppies that can often be completely crazy and hugely time consuming, and the extra housework, oh my! I hope that things get easier for you and the panicky and sad moments of what have I done are outweighed by the precious moments. I have a black lab cross, and he was mad as a puppy! He is now 13, and being PTS very soon, and my heart yearns for the times when he was young. But I do remember how hard it was and you must be kind to yourself. See if you can find a lovely friend who loves dogs but can't have their own, and would love to have yours for a few hours so you can have friends over or time to deepclean! Love to you 💐

I felt the same until about 2 years old tbh. Now he’s fine. Not even annoying with guests. But it was a real drag for a while!

I am exactly the same as you. We researched for 4 years, dog sat 3 times and waited until we were ready before we got our boy. He’s now 5. I adore him however nothing prepared me for owning a dog nor did I consider change in myself as a person. The last year I’ve come to hate being a dog owner for me it’s the mess and the smell. It generally depresses me our home has always been ‘lived in’ and I didn’t mind the extra mess, the marks on the walls, the eye boogies on the floor and the smell that hits when you get home however this past years I’ve really tried to get myself together mentally and physically as well as huge house renovation and I’ve become extremely house proud but as you know with a dog that’s impossible and as sad as it sounds I can’t wait for the day he’s not here anymore. We will not re home him, I do not treat him any different than before he’s our baby but that means that mentally it’s draining however as a responsible dog owner I am dealing with it. It really annoys me how people comment and say you should have researched, what did you expect ect one. this forum is to vent we should never ever be made to feel bad for sharing our thoughts and feelings if you don’t agree don’t comment and two. Lives change, we change, nothing prepares you for the reality. And FYI I am one of those awful dog owner that don’t let him on the sofa nor is he allowed upstairs (I am awaiting the pitchforks) which helps a little as it contains the mess to two rooms which both have hard floors, he’s also groomed 2 weekly (he’s a frenchie so it is literally to make him smell better) and he has his own fenced section in the garden for when we have visitors and to keep his toileting to one place. We’ll miss them when they’re gone for sure BUT it doesn’t make it any easier now. Hang in there ❤️

It sounds like you need some management strategies, to be honest. You say she's a dream indoors, but then you list lots of things that I wouldn't like my (1 year old) labrador to do. If she eats beds, don't give her beds. You could give her a raised bed like a HiK9 which she can't eat. Counter surfing is also something that needs to be stopped because it's naturally reinforcing to her when she succeeds.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I just think that it could be easier for you.

I do have sympathy

However most people will say they did research then regret it. Maybe that research was not detailed enough or realistic enough to be any use.

Dogs are hard hard work. For me it is a way of life. I have always have multi dogs in a household but I love the dog world, love dog sports and my life is full of dogs stuff. I have made many sacrifices to have my dogs.

I can not imagine anything worse than having to get up early to walk the dogs before I go to work (I work with my dogs) and have to do the same in the evening. In the dark 8 months of the year. Trying to fit a dog into an already busy household is always going to be extremely hard work and probably not that enjoyable. Dont do it. Wait until life is less hectic or be prepared to sacrifice other things.

People get hung up on the romantic idea of a dog in front of the fire being part of the family. The reality is not that at all.

Dogs need exercise
Dogs need training
Dogs will make things dirty
Dogs are relentless and do not have days off
Dogs will be around for years

Getting a dog is a mega decision. Research it in detail and not through rose coloured spectacles.

OP I am sorry you feel the way that you do but the problems you mention are not going to go away and are very normal dog owner issues. Not sure what can change apart from rehoming the dog (like many peope do every year due to not being realistic when getting the dog)

Hi im in the same situation we have a 2 year old border collie hes is a dream dog brilliantly trained, the kids love him and so does my wife but I hate having a dog its completely ruined my life and makes me so unhappy, I haven't got the heart to ask to get rid of him

I kind of agree. Did you do no readearch at all before getting a lab? Of course Dota need walks. Of course they shed like crazy. Of course they smell - honestly what did you expect OP? If you didn’t want smell and shedding you shouldn’t have got a lab……

I mean, bit late, she posted this nearly 2 years ago!

Hahah. Algorithm failure as it just came up on my tending feed.now…

Same with our cat. Always miaowing, always under my feet. Hair everywhere, I have to hoover every other day. I do feel bad when i see him looking at me after I've told him
off from from licking the food I've just cooked and forgot to cover!!! Plus, DD and DH love him so I guess I just have to suck it up :/

Ah OP. I actually think you sound like a great and honest owner. Pets are not straightforward and you are allowed to have a moan.

The basics are ticked, happy and healthy dog and great with the kids.

dog walker has been suggested. go for it. And look at dog secure play fields locally.

I am a dog person and have many dogs.

Old fashioned perhaps but I don’t have dogs at dinner time or at social gatherings when food being served.

Yes of course some dogs can cope and it’s fine, but it’s a huge challenge for them and us.

Look into getting a lovely garden kennel for these summer days. BBQ food, chocolate, all not good for dogs. so between people wanting to feed the friendly dog and a lab helping themselves it’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Dog can them come out later and nosey around when food away. Same for indoors. A cage can be as much for their safety than anything else.

a few little changes would make things much easier for you and dog

Oh man. Old post.

perhaps @Littlesadstate90 could come back and tell @TheSkrillaHtrzwhat to do.

I’d throw some money at these stresses, a dog walker and cleaner.

I think having a dog feels much harder this time of year, having a dog that is constantly wet and muddy is not fun. It’s also not fun walking dogs in the dark and worrying about getting mugged (although that might just be me 🙈😂)

In a couple of months the weather will be nicer, the evenings lighter, you’ll be able to have lovely days out with the dog and all will be well again.

Will he definitely take the dog when you live separately?

ffs 😂

I'd like her to come back and update us now!

Cats are a dream.

Dogs are like a very needy kid who never grows up.

It sounds like you're doing the lion's share of everything. With my husband and I, we equally share the dog walks 50/50. It doesn't matter who is home or not - our ddog gets a very early morning walk 5/6am before the day is even started. What hours is he outside the home every day? Can he do more with dealing with the mess and training too? Or he can cook dinner while you're walking the dog? Totally agree with suggestions of a dog walker if tweaks aren't possible. A lovely big walk from a dog walker in the middle of the day would mean you only need to pop out for a short walk later.

Also, the hair, people think labs are great because they are short haired. The reality, as you're finding, is very different. Those short stubby hairs get stuck everywhere. I can only recommend a daily brush and get a robot hoover! Also, lots of lint rollers in various places (car, bedroom, lounge, hallway for guests etc.).

I think you got a dog when you've actually got a busy life going on. We were ready to change our lives to dedicate to a dog - children leaving for uni, us both at home more, wanting to ensure we took long walks daily etc. It's really hard getting a dog like a lab to fit in with your usual daily routine as they need so much more.

I'm dog sitting at the moment, and I'm so glad it's just for 1 night. Dogs are full on

The last year I’ve come to hate being a dog owner for me it’s the mess and the smell. It generally depresses me our home has always been ‘lived in’ and I didn’t mind the extra mess, the marks on the walls, the eye boogies on the floor and the smell that hits when you get home
What do people's dogs do to make mess and marks on walls? And wtf are eye boogies?
My dog is tidier than me. He takes all his toys, and anything else he finds interesting, to his bed and stashes them all there 😄.

I know this is too late for the OP but if anyone is thinking of getting a dog please please do your research as to what type of dog will fit with your lifestyle, there are loads of online quizzes that can help you narrow this down. I 100% knew i didn't want a dog that shed a lot or one that required hours upon hours of exercise a day. I had a criteria and made sure the breed I chose fit that criteria. All the things OP is complaining about, Labs are notorious for so should have been expected. Its no use doing absolutely no research then moaning about the very characteristics the breed is known for. It's still hard work training a puppy and we had some problems we needed to address (separation anxiety) but at least we had a dog that fundamentally fit with our family so everyone, including and especially, the dog are happy.