I hate having a dog

[Littlesadstate90]

Name change for this one…..

I live our dog, but I hate having a dog.
we have a 1 year old Labrador. First months were tough but we spent a lot of time and money on training. And I still do the training I’ve learnt with her most days.

she’s a dream indoors, amazing with the kids.
not very good on the lead when out on a walk but we’ve been been working hard on that and have made good progress.

the reasons I hate having a dog are the mess all the time from toys, blankets, beds she eats. The hair everywhere all the time, I have to hoover every single day. The smell, I don’t actually notice her smell until I walk into the house from being out and just smells like dog!
getting in from a day at work and needing to walk her when I’m shattered, I always do of course as I know it’s a necessity and she needs it but sometimes it feels like a chore! Husband doesn’t walk her often as he is out the house for work more hours than me and I work from home some days so it naturally falls on me.

i love having gatherings at our house and socialising, especially in the summer . But with the dog it creates some anxiety in me when we have people over. She’s still so young, very playful and can jump up when excited. She can knock small children over……. she can reach the table tops and takes food off of near the edge.
For these reasons I’ve really cut down on having people over. Which makes me sad.

i know these reasons may sound really silly to most dog owners but im just being honest about how I feel so don’t shoot me down.

my husband and kids love her so much and so do I! But I wouldn’t miss her if she was gone which sounds terrible I know 😔 makes me feel awful.

They need as much care and attention as a child. That is why I never understand some women, who are already run off their feet with children/ work, seem to think that it is a good idea to get one. Just why add to your already stretched workload?

Speaking as someone who survived - just - a golden retriever as a puppy, having a cat really, REALLY, isn’t the same.

Sympathy to you OP.

I think people rush into having dogs without realising the full impact of caring for a dog - you have to adapt and change your current lifestyle to fit - too many dogs are abandoned for this same poster’s reason - usually because the kids want one ! I love dogs but cannot give a dog enough time and attention it needs until my circumstances change - ie retire!

Dogs do like to insert themselves right into the middle of family life though 😁 . I had one retriever that inserted to herself into any family cuddles that were going . No family cuddles ever happened without her .🐶

I sympathise OP. It’s like kids - you can prepare yourself, you can know what you’re getting in to, but sometimes the actual reality of the impact each and every day gets you down.

The good news is that even labradors grow up quicker than human children do!

Get a deshedding brush - the more fur you can safely groom out, the less hits your floor. Get a dog walker at least once or twice a week to give yourself a break. Concentrate on “manners” training - being calm, going to their bed, etc. It will always be a big commitment but it will get easier!

If it’s any consolation OP, 3 of my 5 labs all calmed right down at about 3 years old. The fifth one is only 18 months so currently balls deep in the chaos and now fully grown stage.

The chocolate male is 8 and he’s as nutty as ever, so not a good example 🤔

To be fair, I have a lot of social gatherings in my house (currently have three labs) and there is the initial labrador chaos, and all guests are warned but it’s mostly embraced.

The hair I can’t help with. Comes with the territory, I’m afraid.

Pets are like kids its responsibility.
Feed clean train entertain.

Oh dear, and breathe x some young dogs are a proper handful, I am lucky to have had lots of dogs, however there's always one! Mine is a spaniel she has definitely had me in tears, defeated despite the training and I LOVE dogs.
You say your husband loves the dog too? Well even if you work from home "you" are working, your a partnership and if he could take the weight of morning and evening exercise for say the next 4 weeks it would be a start. Then enrichment lick mats, kongs, chewy sticks, rawhide (massive), Antlers snuffle mats old jeans are great too as a cheap pull toy.
Put the dog on the lead keep it close as visitors come ask them to completely ignore the dog. Let it off when calm if it becomes naughty pop in another room or outside they want to be near.
Praise good behaviour a lot.
As for smell wash the dog and dry with clean towels.Throws and washable beds will work wonders keep spares use fleece it drys super quick hope that's helpful X your doing great x

"PEDIGREE Biscrok Gravy Bones – Maltbys' Stores" https://maltbysstores.co.uk/products/pedigree-biscrok-gravy-bones

We get these for training, honestly like catnip the puppy and sprocker will do anything for a taste.

My sympathies too OP. I had a boxer who was a handful and I fired many tears over her. It was overwhelming at times. But, I was hopelessly in love with her and she made me smile every day. She was PTS due to ill health two years and I still miss her terribly.
It does get easier, although mine didn't really calm down until she was around 8 😳.
Good luck.

wow thank you all so much for your replies.

for those asking….. yes I did extensive research before becoming a dog owner. Of course I did.

i know dogs shed hair, and smell. I’m not silly.
but I thought I could handle it, I thought I would cope with it all fine.
you can research and prepare as much as you can but sometimes reality is harder than you thought!

thank you for your suggestions of a dog walker x

Follow this guy on FB Dakota gun dogs

Idiot.

I said that.

Then she died unexpectedly, and the wall of grief and the absence was like nothing I'd known.

A year later, the new puppy is a little horror, but she fills my heart.

1 is still very young. It will get easier, as for having people over just put her on a lead and keep her with you / contain her in a room. I think the bit about walking at the end of the day is tough, any chance anyone could walk her in the morning? Also controversial opinion, she will love if she misses a day, some training in the garden will wear her out. Don't hold your self to such high standards it makes it miserable. A bit like with the kids the occasional maccys and tv is fine x

-*live

I'm with you. I love the bones of mine but bloody hell. She's 10 and causes me so much stress. I ended up keeping her after my marriage broke down as I'd always taken her to work and still could. So now I'm a single Mum with a dog. An older dog, who in later years has developed a reactive temperament, which makes walking her a nightmare. I have to be very careful where I take her so that she can get a decent run around (she's still very high energy), but won't come across other dogs. If she's at risk of coming across other dogs she has to be on a lead. It awful and I'm pretty heartbroken about it all.

Planning when to go for walks is hard work as a single Mum. She does get walked every day, but it's a logistical nightmare. If my daughter is with her Dad. I will be up at 6 to walk her, before my daughter is dropped off by her dad for the school run. I'll walk her round the park at lunchtime. This winter has been particularly bad for mud. I sweep the kitchen several times a day. I feel like I'm constantly cleaning for the house to still be a mess. I'm exhausted. I'm 100% sympathetic.

It's very hard work but hopefully will get easier. Honestly, I'd shut her away when you have company, less stressful for all of you if you put her in a quiet room with a bone marrow or something to keep her occupied. Don't end up even more miserable as you're not seeing your friends as much x

I think this too! It’s super weird to me 😂 I guess the love for their dog must overshadow the additional work it takes lol the only explanation I can think of

I'm replying really for the benefit of others reading this that are considering a dog, rather than you OP as you already have one.

When you research dog ownership or the breed, come up with a plan.
So, can't walk the dog - can you afford a dog walker?
Budget for training sessions. Or behaviourist.
Budget for routine vet visits.
Mess/smell are an absolute given when you have a dog - it takes effort and time to be on top of it which adds to workload. A cleaner/groomer could be considered if you struggle with this to reduce impact. If you don't like mess or dog smells, you may struggle living with a dog.
Are all family members in agreement of getting a dog? Dogs need social interaction within the family to thrive, so you'll need to all accept and spend time with dog.
Do the family also understand the possible impact of another (very hairy!) member of the family joining for the next 14ish years?
To accommodate and change your life for this member in order to meet their needs? That their needs aren't just physical but emotional too.
And then finally accept that, as life changes and you change with it, you still have to consider your dog's needs amongst those changes.

Hope that is helpful to anyone who's is considering getting a dog.

Re a doggy smell in the house, imo it always comes down to what soft furnishings you have.

I know lots of people with dogs (and in a past job many years ago had to enter about 100 houses a week where there'd often be a dog).

Without exception, the houses where I've smelt a lingering doggy smell on entry are those either with carpets or lots of shaggy rugs, or fabric sofas with no covers where the dogs are allowed up. Those with hard floors, leather or covered sofas or no pets on furniture, there's rarely a smell imo.

We have hard floors throughout downstairs and only a couple of flat pile rugs which are deep cleaned every month or so (we have a vax). No dogs upstairs at all (where we have carpet) and our two sofas are completely covered with fitted throws which are chucked in the washing machine once a fortnight. I know you get nose-blind yourself but I've asked a couple of very good (and brutally honest) friends who I'm pretty sure I can believe and they assure me there's no doggy smell.

Several friends have recently acquired puppies. Without exception, they are 2 career families with kids who are either "spirited" or have additional needs, and they have previously expressed to me how overwhelmed and exhausted they are.

I enjoy making a fuss of the puppies while internally going "What the fuck. What. The. Actual. Fuck. What have you DONE?!"

Then I go home to my two extremely low maintenance cats, who silently agree with me.

Gets a lot easier as they get older and frankly lazier. All the training will pay off. The first year is hard but if you do all the work you end up with a friendly easy to control dog.

Re the dog hair - if anyone else has a solution please shout. Covered in the stuff all the time.

Also - never ever ever let anyone start saying you need another dog as a friend for your current dog. I ended up with three.

People think dogs are dogs at 1 but really they are still pups. It will get much easier with the jumping up etc and the general energy but the smell and care won't change.

It's easy to say you shouldn't have got a dog but you have her now so need solutions so you can keep her!

One is still young for a Labrador, she should calm down by 18-24 months. Also sounds like you have done a good job with training.

Is it you doing all the walking and cleaning up? Does your DH know how you feel? Is he pulling his weight?
Can you afford a dog walker or doggy daycare some days so she gets a good walk and just needs a shorter walk in the evening?

Dogs do smell and get hair everywhere unfortunately, can't really offer any advice apart from the obvious of regular hoovering, mopping and washing of bedding. Also febreeze for pet smells!