I hate having a dog

[Littlesadstate90]

Name change for this one…..

I live our dog, but I hate having a dog.
we have a 1 year old Labrador. First months were tough but we spent a lot of time and money on training. And I still do the training I’ve learnt with her most days.

she’s a dream indoors, amazing with the kids.
not very good on the lead when out on a walk but we’ve been been working hard on that and have made good progress.

the reasons I hate having a dog are the mess all the time from toys, blankets, beds she eats. The hair everywhere all the time, I have to hoover every single day. The smell, I don’t actually notice her smell until I walk into the house from being out and just smells like dog!
getting in from a day at work and needing to walk her when I’m shattered, I always do of course as I know it’s a necessity and she needs it but sometimes it feels like a chore! Husband doesn’t walk her often as he is out the house for work more hours than me and I work from home some days so it naturally falls on me.

i love having gatherings at our house and socialising, especially in the summer . But with the dog it creates some anxiety in me when we have people over. She’s still so young, very playful and can jump up when excited. She can knock small children over……. she can reach the table tops and takes food off of near the edge.
For these reasons I’ve really cut down on having people over. Which makes me sad.

i know these reasons may sound really silly to most dog owners but im just being honest about how I feel so don’t shoot me down.

my husband and kids love her so much and so do I! But I wouldn’t miss her if she was gone which sounds terrible I know 😔 makes me feel awful.

I didn't want to read and run, but things will get easier she's still young and you sound like you are doing everything right, could you afford a dog walker a few times a week? Make the kids walk down to a park with you and explore woods, it may make it seem like less of a chore then. Hope you don't get any arsey replies on here

Hi OP, I have a nearly 3 year old Lab and can sympathise with how difficult they can be, without meaning to be! I’d honestly really recommend concentrating on training so that you can freely socialise as much as you want. A dog fits into your life & the things you want to do, they just need some support in being able to do that. It has been extremely hard work to get here but ours is absolutely perfect now (as much as any dog can be anyway), he wouldn’t take a single bite of food even if on the floor infront of him without us giving permission, he doesn’t jump up, behaves perfectly when we have guests and young children etc. Labs are very loving and social dogs, they just need some help learning to behave x

I sympathise - try and remember that at one, she's still really young and is basically bang in the middle of adolescence, so a lot of these behaviours will improve with lots of effort and consistency.

I would also strongly advise looking for a dog walker to take some of the pressure off if you can afford it, even if it's only once or twice a week.

Me to. Mine is five months and I've just been sitting here crying. I would never ever have another dog and genuinely unsure whether we can keep her.

Well DON'T HAVE DOGS THEN - JUST DON'T

Not quite as simple as that when you already have one.

We've always had dogs. This one is just too much

It's the same with cats . People don't realise it can be a 20 year plus commitment .

Its also hard if you haven't had a dog before and the OP perhaps didn't think about the things like mess and smell which can get you down.

I get it - we have a lovely dog and I believe we give her a good life with lots of care and attention.......but I would never get another one.

Helpful

Honestly what on earth did you expect? Dogs need walking, dogs like toys, dogs have hair and can be a bit smelly this is not brand new information.

My STBX insisted on getting a dog. I hate dogs because of the drool, smell and mess. I hate the jumping on everything and everyone. I gave in and he got a boxer (one of the breeds that’s known to drool and fart and jump a lot). We got him when he was a puppy and it made no difference. 2 years later, I hate dogs even more. I take care of him and do all the things I’m meant to because it’s a decision we made and not the dog’s fault, he’s actually a very well behaved dog and great with DC. Nonetheless I hate the responsibility and one thing I am looking toward to when we split is having a dog free home. I will not miss the dog one single bit. So nothing but sympathy from me and for me it doesn’t and didn’t get easier or better. Some people grow to love them, some like me do not unfortunately. Sorry!

Can hardly compare my dogs to my cat lol he doesn't need walking roams freely, just needs feeding

It will get easier, hang in there. They really do take until 18 months to start settling down, and by 3 or 4 they'll have settled again. Although the hair and the walking? That won't go away, but you knew that.

Our Labrador is exactly one. We've just had her spayed. Invite your friends over with small children, she goes on a lead until she calms down or you lock her away. Mine has eaten, skirtings, wallpaper, my beautiful £900 rug. Feather cushions, shoes. They're so bloody destructive. She's getting training as a working dog, so walking to heel, coming back when called is hit and miss at the moment.

If you work full time. I would get a dog walker. You can't leave her all day.

Then in the evening a short trot out will suffice.

Labradors shed terribly ours is black. I've given up hoovering daily, stuff it. I use M&S LAVENDER fabric spray daily, open windows, use throws on all the sofas, chairs. Throw those in the washing machine and dry in the conservatory, on the decking.

We're not replacing skirtings, doorframes and wallpaper until she stops chewing. OH has promised me a new rug too. It's his dog

Shock horror - sometimes expectations and reality end up being totally different!

I went to B&M one night and bought a box full of toys, they've helped. Here's a picture of her sitting on the sacrificial rug that was in the front porch.

You're not a natural dog owner , don't get another one .

It's age old tho, isn't it. People get dogs and don't understand they are a lot of work.

I don't have any pets for this particular reason. I love animals but I know I wouldn't be a good care giver for them.

Even if it's just once a week a dog walker makes a big difference. Money well spent and also stimulation, different walks for your dog. You have to find the right one though.

Well perhaps not.

But as BigWilly says, surely people need to do a bit of research before they do, and realise that

'Honestly what on earth did you expect? Dogs need walking, dogs like toys, dogs have hair and can be a bit smelly this is not brand new information.'

Just too many people take on dogs without doing any research, without askign themselves if they have the right home, right attitude to the realities of owning a dog, if they have enough time and energy to give the dog all the exercise it needs, both physically and mentally, etc, etc.

Just on a whim- and the end up in refuges which are chockerblock full. Often unsuitable breeds, not trained. Makes me so angry for the poor poor dogs. Which is why I only have rescues, and give them a proper dog's life. They are not toys or accessories.

I can empathise, we adored our dog, he was so lovely, but I hoovered twice a day ( he was long haired and shed a lot ) I knew everywhere he liked to lay, his oily coat marked the walls etc. very difficult to be houseproud when you have a dog. Our dog was sadly PTS at 13yrs, utterly heartbroken, we miss him. But no way would we get another dog, just too much of a commitment. My health has also changed massively since we had him as a pup. I still love dogs, but never again.

The thing is, you can do all the research in the world but that doesn't prepare you for the reality and how much they turn your world upside down.

If someone came on here saying they were really struggling as a parent, they'd get endless sympathy, but say you're struggling with an animal and you may as well hold up a massive "kick me" sign.

It's actually very normal to struggle with dog ownership, especially when they're young, not fully trained and pushing boundaries constantly. That doesn't mean you think they're a toy or an accessory - it means you're human!

My beagle is six now and I can't imagine life without him, but my God he was difficult when he was a teenager and he had me in tears on multiple occasions. I'm so glad I didn't post on here then, because I feel like I would have been ripped to shreds.

Did you do any research on owning a dog, requirements, breed etc @Littlesadstate90 ? Did you prepare yourself but find research didn't match expectations?

Or perhaps you were persuaded to get a dog and are now feeling like the primary caregiver?

I have to say, dogs can be hard work. They're like toddlers in fur coats, you need eyes in the back of your head!

I think some people think "oh I'll get a dog, it'll be nice to have company etc" without thinking through what the dog needs each day and that it is a new member of the family you have a responsibility to. And did I say hard work...

If your DH persuaded you and isn't now being responsible and leaving it to you, then thats a DH problem rather than a dog problem.

Otherwise, time & maturity, continued training, dog walker, groomers, etc may help

You won't miss the extra work but you clearly love her so you will all miss the dog if you decide to rehome her. How old are your children, can they help with some of the chores cleaning up after her etc ? Your husband works longer hours but it's his dog too and you need him to help more .They get all the fun but you get all the work, not on.
She's only a year old, things will get better as she gets a wee bit older and once she's old enough to be spayed she / the house will smell a lot less and clean up will be easier as you won't have the extra mess to clean from her going into season a couple of times a year.