Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

How long did you sleep down stairs with your puppy for (if you did)

71 replies

Chunkycookie · 03/04/2024 21:00

I picked up my beautiful 11 week old golden retriever on Monday, she’s the 4th female retriever I have had in my life.

She’s very happy, very chilled. She is massive, going to be a very large dog. We met her parents, they were both enormous, happy, gentle giants. She’s got the paws of a lion cub and when the vet weighed her today, she was almost 11kg at 11 weeks. She’s a very robust and healthy little (well, not so little) thing.

My other dogs always slept behind a gate in a utility room. That was their space away from the the noise of the children, where I would put them when I was busy and wouldn’t leave them unattended with children.

This puppy hates it. I’ve had her behind the gate for a few mins when I have been pottering in the kitchen. She’s okay when she can see me, but sits anxiously by the gate rather than venture into her bed. I give her praise when she’s being quiet.

All hell breaks loose if I leave the kitchen (to take washing upstairs etc).

theres nothing in the “utility” other than her bed, food bowls the door to the space that is just an enclosed area that she uses as a loo. It’s 6ft x 4ft so not an intimidating space.

At night, I’ve slept on the sofa with her bed next to me and she’s been happy. Taken her out twice for a wee in the night, all good.

I can’t sleep downstairs forever though, and I have never let a dog upstairs in my house (hair and carpets and they are prone to hip problems so I keep stairs to a minimum).

I wouldn’t have the room for the size of crate she would need in a few months, she’s going to be enormous.

she’s the easiest, happiest, loveliest little pup. I just need her to get used to being alone in a safe space.

Any tips, please?

OP posts:
Original poster
Chunkycookie · 03/04/2024 21:01

Oh and that reads as If I have 4 dogs - she is the only one. I’ve had a lifetime of owning golden retrievers.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chunkycookie · 03/04/2024 21:09

we purposely picked her up as close the the start of the Easter holidays as possible as I have to do the school run, so ideally, I would get her happy to being in a safe space as I will be out of the house 15 mins in the morning and again in the afternoon, 3 days a week (dh works from home the other two days).

OP posts:
Goldenphoenix · 03/04/2024 21:12

We slept downstairs for weeks with our GR. He would cry and scream if we left him! Eventually we did let him up stairs with us and put him in a puppy pen on top of a tarp next to our bed. That worked well. Was just a phase as he now sleeps downstairs by himself at 9 months. Like babies sometimes pups just aren't good sleepers. Do whatever you need to to get rest and make her feel secure.

InfoComet · 03/04/2024 21:14

2 weeks for one, 4 weeks for the other, but she came upstairs after 4 months of broken sleep.

Original poster
Chunkycookie · 03/04/2024 21:16

What did you do when you had to go out? There is no getting round the school run when dh isn’t here!

OP posts:
muddyford · 03/04/2024 21:24

I had never had a dog upstairs before my current Lab. He slept in a deep box by my bed, carried up and downstairs to protect his joints. Night number four he created merry hell so I put him in his crate downstairs and that was it.

Goldenphoenix · 03/04/2024 21:26

When I needed to start leaving him I built up to it by leaving, coming straight back in, leaving coming back after ten seconds and building up the time. Then leaving him with a Kong full of peanut butter when I eventually went on school runs etc. Doing it gradually was the key for us

BirthdayRainbow · 03/04/2024 21:28

I never slept downstairs with her. She used to sleep in the kitchen but then was waking up the kids. So I moved her into the lounge and she had the Guinea Pigs and fish for company. That lasted for six years until the GP died. For the last eight months she's slept upstairs with me.

She is a retriever too. Edited to add dog breed.

Original poster
Chunkycookie · 03/04/2024 21:37

It’s a hard one as I just don’t know what to do.

While i appreciate that all dogs are, of course, different, I’ve had three who were happy to just sleep in their own space!

I went upstairs to fold some washing earlier, I wasn’t going to leave her unattended with the younger children while dh was at the shop, and christ, the poor thing was so distressed.

for the last two days, I’ve been trying her 5 mins at a time, shutting the gate while I am in the kitchen washing up etc.

will get a kong tomorrow.

Shes a very, very loving little thing. All my dogs have been, but she needs to be touching someone all the time. She’s currently snoozing with her head on my foot, as usual.

OP posts:
Whattodo121 · 03/04/2024 21:38

Dh slept downstairs with DPup for about 2 weeks in her crate and then she happily slept in a crate for eighteen months. Until she started keeping me up half the night by barking, so I gave up and let her sleep upstairs. Now she sleeps on my bed…. On my feet… but she sleeps all night long beautifully and I do love the snuggles 🥰

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 03/04/2024 21:41

I slept downstairs with my first puppy.

Never again.

Puppy comes upstairs in my bedroom, and it sleeps like a log through the night.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 03/04/2024 21:44

We did cold turkey after 2 weeks of no sleep.Dpup slept in the kitchen and was fine after 2 days

curlywillow · 03/04/2024 21:48

My puppy is now 4 months. We've had her from 8 weeks. For the first couple of weeks I slept on the sofa in the same room as her (she has a large soft travel crate since she hated her metal one). She needed to go out a couple of times in the night to have a wee and it was easier to be there. After that we left her and by about 14 weeks she was dry through the night.

If we go out then I take her with us for socialisation opportunities but I am going to start leaving her on her own for short periods from tomorrow. She's currently my shadow and she needs to start being on her own a bit. If we go upstairs she used to get very annoyed but now she just settles at the bottom of the stairs and waits for someone (we have a baby gate on the stars so that she can't get up since I don't like dogs in bedrooms).

Original poster
Chunkycookie · 03/04/2024 21:48

I’m just wary of creating anxiety issues.

I know some people love sleeping with dogs in their rooms, but it’s just not for me. Especially with a giant, hairy, muddy golden retriever. I have to have the upstairs at least a hair free space. Downstairs not so bad as it’s all wood floors and lather sofas so hair is more easily contained and cleaned up.

My last one used to have a knack for finding fox crap a mile off and would roll in it before I could stop her. They have all been massive sleep droolers too. I am not having that anywhere near my bed 😂

OP posts:
curlywillow · 03/04/2024 21:50

The travel crate was what made all the difference for us. We tried a metal crate and even just having her in the pantry with a baby gate across the doorway which I thought she'd prefer due to having more space but she wouldn't settle. The travel crate is fabric and quite dark and cosy and she really took to it. It was a game changer for us in terms of settling her

DildoDaggins · 03/04/2024 21:58

We have a 4 month old puppy. H slept downstairs with him for 2 nights then in spare room with him for another 5.

Then we bit the bullet and left him downstairs. He cried a fair bit the first night, whimpered the second and from then on, he’s been completely quiet! We have not crated him either and he has the run of the kitchen and sitting room. He’s a bit odd in that he likes to be wrapped up in a blanket!

I know lots of people have dogs upstairs but I couldn’t tolerate it.

Wishthiswasntmypost · 03/04/2024 22:07

4 months ..... I slept on the sofa determined to a) not have him in the bedroom b) not to leave him to cry it out and kick off separation anxiety

Eventually I gave up and brought him into the bedroom. Now he sleeps alone in the living room and can be safely left during the day

SweetLittlePixie · 03/04/2024 22:08

5mins might be too long to start with. I would train it the same way as leaving her home alone. In the beginning just walk around the house and shut the doors behind you. Come straight out of the room and walk into the next room, shut the door again etc. until she gets bored of following you around.
Do that several times a day and when she starts to relax stay in the rooms a bit longer. But dont prolong it too quickly. Just small steps. In the meantime I would sleep near her.

friggingno · 03/04/2024 22:22

I settled my latest dog by staying downstairs with him very late until he was fast asleep, listening to calming music like 'deep sleep music', etc. It turns out he really likes Debussy piano music and slipping away to my bed leaving the music on.

caringcarer · 03/04/2024 22:38

DH slept on a Z bed downstairs for about 6 weeks to take our 2 puppies to the toilet twice in the night. Once they were about 4 months old so after we had them about a month, they could go just once a night. Then he stayed up until about 1.30am took them to toilet then used to come up to bed. Then up at 6am to toilet them again. They were toilet trained by 4 1/2 months.

CultOfTheAirFryer · 03/04/2024 22:51

5 minutes at a time is too long. And two weeks isn’t enough time to get her used to being alone for 15 minutes.

As per above, start with a few seconds coming in and out of signt, until that becomes boring. If you leave it so long that puppy is distressed, you’re simply growing anxiety rather than settling it.

PinkIcedCream · 03/04/2024 22:57

Similar to controlled crying for babies. Left ours downstairs in his crate and ignored his cries for the first hour of two. He was fine after that and has slept downstairs on his own ever since.

Sunflowers098 · 03/04/2024 23:10

I slept on a mattress next to his crate in our extension and talked to him softly when he cried the first night for 10 minutes, second night for 5, then from third night he was quiet. Woke him up for wees . Moved the mattress further away each night until I was in the kitchen then in the hall, then back upstairs after about 10 nights, but tbh I could have gone up after 5 or 6 nights I was that far away from his crate.
Strange sleeping in a kitchen - lots of little glowy lights and a very noisy fridge!
He slept through the night from 12 weeks and we crated him at night until about 4/5 months. Then left the door open, then took it away. He's always slept downstairs and has never made a peep since his first week with us.

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 03/04/2024 23:14

I slept downstairs for four nights before I could leave mine.

The school run was the worst. I fed him, let him out for a wee and then shut him in the kitchen with lots of toys and chews. I left the phone propped up on the counter filming him. He went nuts, crying, whining, barking, biting at the door frame. Not happy. I was literally gone ten minutes.

The next day I shut him in his crate. It had a warm mat, cosy vet bed etc and a blanket over the top making it dark and cosy. He curled up and went to sleep. He obviously felt safe and comfortable in there. He had access to it the previous day but hadn’t been shut in.