How long did you sleep down stairs with your puppy for (if you did)

[Chunkycookie]

I picked up my beautiful 11 week old golden retriever on Monday, she’s the 4th female retriever I have had in my life.

She’s very happy, very chilled. She is massive, going to be a very large dog. We met her parents, they were both enormous, happy, gentle giants. She’s got the paws of a lion cub and when the vet weighed her today, she was almost 11kg at 11 weeks. She’s a very robust and healthy little (well, not so little) thing.

My other dogs always slept behind a gate in a utility room. That was their space away from the the noise of the children, where I would put them when I was busy and wouldn’t leave them unattended with children.

This puppy hates it. I’ve had her behind the gate for a few mins when I have been pottering in the kitchen. She’s okay when she can see me, but sits anxiously by the gate rather than venture into her bed. I give her praise when she’s being quiet.

All hell breaks loose if I leave the kitchen (to take washing upstairs etc).

theres nothing in the “utility” other than her bed, food bowls the door to the space that is just an enclosed area that she uses as a loo. It’s 6ft x 4ft so not an intimidating space.

At night, I’ve slept on the sofa with her bed next to me and she’s been happy. Taken her out twice for a wee in the night, all good.

I can’t sleep downstairs forever though, and I have never let a dog upstairs in my house (hair and carpets and they are prone to hip problems so I keep stairs to a minimum).

I wouldn’t have the room for the size of crate she would need in a few months, she’s going to be enormous.

she’s the easiest, happiest, loveliest little pup. I just need her to get used to being alone in a safe space.

Any tips, please?

Yep, sometimes you do have no choice and leaving them to cry is the lesser of two evils.

For me, I tried to set up our lives so I didn't have to leave him but so I could choose to leave him for short periods knowing I could come back in the house if it was really going wrong, though I appreciate that's much harder with children and the school run.

It sounds like you're doing all the right things though, one day it will just "click" and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about 😂

I know, I used to work with a woman who was very against co sleeping with children, would give really horrible advice about crying it out for babies when people came back from mat leave, but used to share a bed with her dogs and get worried over making the dogs feel secure and happy if her children “played up” in the night. some people are nuts. She cared more about her dogs happiness than her children’s.

I wonder if the space is too big; I'd try a covered crate for now, feed her in it so it's a good place, and let her have more space in a few months - we bought a larger crate and a separator that we removed at about 8 months when fully toilet trained. (but actually didn't use it for the first few months, so they could pee in the crate until the bladder grew.)

Well, the space isn’t big enough to put a large crate in and be able to move around it.

The actual floor space is 7ft by 4 foot with doors to the outside and the garage each end and doors to a down stairs loo and hidden washing machine/drier on the back wall. The door is an arch totally open to the kitchen with a stair gate. The crate would block the loo and the doors behind it and her access to the outside door I would constantly moving it - not great if I was trying to make t it feel secure for her.

Her food/water bowls have been in there from day one and that’s the place she gets all the really good treats - bits of chicken and ham which she seems to live for.

I just put her in there a few mins ago and she barked once but was silent as I did the washing up. She couldn’t see me, but she could hear me. She was just laying down by the gate (she has a big, fluffy bed in there too). Plus, I tend to keep the outside door open in there most of the day and it leads out into a totally secure small yard, separated from the rest of the garden which is where we’ve been taking her to the loo.

I let her out, gave her some chicken and lots of praise and for a play with me and the kids.

I want that space for her, basically. So if the children start arguing with each other or have friends over, she has got a safe space to retreat to so she doesn’t get stressed (the irony of her being stressed at first is not lost on me, but this is something that is for her benefit. This is a new house, my my previous dogs all has exactly the same set up.

if anyone is interested in baby gate - gate, as it’s become known on the local WhatsApp dog chat, I gave her 2nd lunch in there as usual, but this time I shut the gate as I am cleaning the kitchen.

She ate it, barked at the gate but then walked off out the door, did a big Poo, walked back in and laid down quietly against gate (my last dog used to sleep like that, she would never sleep in a bed, she preferred the floor, all that fluffy hair makes them ho), she looks so much like her 😭), and was fast asleep in minutes.

I am just pottering about cleaning so when she wakes up, I’ll give her loads of praise, take her to the loo and then she can have an afternoon play with us all.

I’ve actually left the dog whatsapp as someone very dramatically said she would be the dog equivalent of a Romanian orphanage child and I thought, fuck this, there are people who on here who shower once a week so a dog won’t be left alone for five minutes and laugh about sleeping in bed with sheep shit covered Labradors as they don’t want to upset them with a bath.

And for what its worth, she will get a far better sleep in there this afternoon, in peace and quiet rather than in the living room with the children playing and bickering.

We didn’t for the first week, and then realised that was a mistake. I spent two weeks on the sofa and pup was in the crate. I was then on hand to let him out for wees etc.

we then slowly established a routine, and when she showed signs of tiredness etc, put gim in his crate to nap. Someone was with pup all the time (except when he was asleep) watching for when he needs a wee etc, sleep, stopping him getting to mischief etc for at least a month.

If you only got her on Monday, perhaps you’re asking too much of her too soon. Her whole life has changed. A few days ago she was safe and sound with her mum and siblings, and now’s she got a new scary world to encounter.

Theres a Puppy Survival Thread where you can useful tips and virtual glasses of wine.

2 nights on the sofa with him in the crate beside me with our last goldie pup but he was super chilled. After that, he slept in his crate in the kitchen until about 6 months then just in his bed in the kitchen with the door closed.

I don't do dogs upstairs either OP. So much hair and mess. It's bad enough with a goldie downstairs without having to cope with another floor to hoover 😂

I had a friend visit this afternoon, I met her after we lost our old dog, so she’s not had any experience of goldens.

”Everyone says their hair is terrible, but it’s not at all!” I had to remind her that she’s a baby, this hair is nothing compared to what’s to come 🤣

She had lovely 2 hour sleep in the utility this afternoon, the longest stench she’s slept her as she was completely undisturbed. She then had a lovely hour in the garden with us all, she’s picked up sit, wait, lay down and come really easily.

I am really overthinking this. My other puppies were behind a gate for naps and at nighttime and when I had to go out from day one. I never even thought about it, they grew up happy. It was just a shock that she was so upset at first after three dogs that couldn’t have given a monkeys.

I certainly never thought about if I should have a shower or go to bed with them.

Only for four days then left him. He’s a cocker spaniel who are known for being clingy and I didn’t want him to think it was forever. Saying that I went to bed really late and got up really early for about four days (he stopped being upset within one to two days). He now sleeps in the kitchen door closed happy out. Best of luck op, bless!

I’m on the sofa tonight, but she’s in the utility.

She went out for a wee and then lay down in there wagging her tail and I turned the lights off and now I can hear her lightly snoring.

I'm on the sofa in the next room as I am expecting her to wake and I’ll let her out for the loo. But I have some washable absorbent pad things that cover the floor anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.

She went in there for half an hour herself this evening for a snooze too. I think she actually enjoys the peace away from the rest of the house.

we’ll see how tonight goes, anyway. She’s absolutely exhausted tonight after running about in the garden today and then we did some more training tonight with her for a bit.

We have a female GR and she has never been upstairs. She's always slept downstairs and I have only ever had to get up in the night to let her out if she has an upset stomach. If she barks once we know she needs to go out. She's never had an accident.

As a puppy she slept in a massive xxl crate until 5 months, then in the kitchen diner on her bed because she started to dislike her crate. At 8 weeks she would be downstairs 12-6am and we extended it 15 mins every few days.

Puppies are hard work without the added nightmare of no sleep. My sister said similar to your breeder - the dog fits in with you not the other way round. This has really served us well and she really does fit in with our hectic lives and is unphased by pretty much anything now.

If my dog could choose she would sleep on our bed lying across our legs or right up in between us like a toddler. She loves being in a hotel with us because she gets to sleep so close to us. Not happening at home - I can just about cope with the mud and hair downstairs!

I'd let her follow you around for a bit, so she knows you're there for her and she can see that you don't go far. Also keep moving around, especially in and out of the same room so it will eventually become boring and too much effort!
I would get a crate and put it next to your bed (or the sofa) and if she whimpers stroke her in the night. She will come to associate the crate with comfort (you bring near her and petting her). In the day time move the crate to the area you want her to sleep in overnight. Always leave the door open so she can come and go as she pleases. Leave treats in there. And if you're going to be near the crate (eg if the crate is in the kitchen when you're making dinner) give her a really good treat like a pizzle or stuffed kong.

In the day time pop her/or encourage her in the crate when she is tired, but stay nearby and be boring. Sit at the table, wash up. Pop in and out to the next room. (Not too far).

If she notices you leave but stays where she is say good and give a little treat. Don't make a huge fuss. Just be boring.

After a few weeks she will take herself off to the crate for naps and will be happy to stay in there overnight.

Good luck.

3rd dog and I decided not to stress with this one. As a pup he slept next to our bed. He slept through the night instantly, now age 3 he is so good at night. Sleeps under my daughters bed from the minute she goes to bed to the minute she wakes up. Perfect

I’ve just got her up for the day.

I got up at 3am, in a panic, like you do with a new born as I hasn’t heard a peep out of her, I woke her up going in to the kitchen.

She was in her bed, I let her out, she went to the loo and then then went straight back her bed and flopped down with her tail wagging.

there’s a pile of poo on the mats, but I knew there would be as I couldn’t get her to go last night, that’s what the mats are for.

Shes a very happy little thing this morning.

This is exactly what my other dogs were like as puppies

She’s 12 weeks today and a hefty little thing.

I’ve also had a couple of people wonder why she was closer to 12 weeks when we got her, if she had been returned to the breeder etc.

These breeders don’t let the puppies go until 12 weeks, it’s was the same with the puppy I got from them 17 years ago.

They like them to have that extra 4 weeks with siblings/mum to learn more and be more secure and so they can do both primary vaccinations, microchip etc.

They made an exception for us taking her 5 days early as we had discussed getting her settled before the school runs kick in, and because they know me from the last pup and we’ve been in contact over the years we had her so trust me.

The rest of the litter are going to their homes this weekend, they are 12 weeks old today.

Little update.

My friend brought a spare crate over.

She loves it.

Set it up in the utility. She goes in happily around 10:30/11pm. Don’t hear a peep out of her. I went to let her hour for a wee at 2am, then up at 6:30am.

Yesterday, she was taking herself off in there for sleeps in the daytime.

We have 3 dogs (different ages) and we have never slept downstairs with them or made them sleep downstairs on their own.
For all 3, we put a ramp next to our bed and kept them in the bed with us to begin with.
We currently have dogs beds in our bedroom and the living room.
We keep our son's bedroom door closed at night but other than that they have free range of the house.
One chooses to sleep in bed with us.
One sleeps on the floor in our bedroom.
The other sleeps downstairs in the living room.