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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be really unsure about how to handle our old dog's habits and maintain our home ..

64 replies

Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:25

Our dog is 15 . The vet says she is blind and deaf and has some signs of dementia possibly- but it is haed to tell because she can be lost in the house due to sight nit confusion .
the vet says that she believes dogs with lack if sight etc can still have a good quality of life as they can enjoy being near loved ones , feel the warmth of the sun . She for sure enjoyed sleeping next to me on her back next ro me this afternoon .

for some months now she mostly sleeps in the day - has a lively teatime period . She wees a lot in the night now so she can no lomger sleep with us - she sleeps in the hall which means s lined worh puppy pads as she cannot last all night now and we also suspect by the amount of pad use she is active at night .
She mostky goes out in the garden or short walks . We actively toilet her take hee into yeh garden many times a day .

The problem is she has started wee in the house ( for some weeks now - this can be f5 mins after she has been out !
we dont know if its linked to sight.
she does not have any urine problems - the vet has checked .

Despite our efforts - the kitchen dinner smells of wee. People say they cant smell it but you can .
my friend said she couldnt. Stand this as it would make her feel dirty. She wd pts .

my dh said yesterday he had enough.
I siad but she is a happy old dog .
she enjous her food , she likes to me with me . She dozes. But our rugs are ruined ( wool ) and our kitchen feels awful despite cleaning .
its getting dh down .
I feel bu whatever I do .

OP posts:
Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:27

Please note is taken out to garden evey hour- sometime she will wee but often and randomly she just wees . We do try . Its like having a baby really .
the other day we took her out - sar to have tea - she weed right next to me . For eg

OP posts:
Thinkonmadam · 31/03/2024 21:30

Dog nappies

Hotdogity · 31/03/2024 21:31

Move this over to the doghouse, you’ll get much more useful advice there. Xx

Dearg · 31/03/2024 21:33

Oh it’s so hard . But honestly, I think it’s time. It does sound like a lot of quality has gone from her life.

We have to be realistic about when we are keeping them for us, rather than for them.

You have loved her and it will always be too soon for you. But it may be the right time for your lovely girl. They are such beautiful souls. 💐

Devilshands · 31/03/2024 21:34

If your dog can barely see, hear and is incontinent then the time has come to say goodbye.

Think back on the dog she was five years ago and you’ll realise how much has changed and how much worse her life is.

It’s horrible to say goodbye. It really is. But if a dog can’t actively participate in family life, can’t sleep with its humans anymore, has dementia, can’t go on decent walks and, can’t see or hear properly then it doesn’t have a good quality of life.

A dog owners #1 responsibility is to make sure their dog isn’t suffering. I’m sorry OP as I’m sure it’s not what you want to hear.

KimMumsnet · 31/03/2024 21:35

Hi, OP. We've moved your thread here to the Doghouse - we thought you'd get a bit more help here than on AIBU.

OhmygodDont · 31/03/2024 21:35

She’s 15, deaf and blind. She no longer gets to sleep where she used to and she’s now unable to either hold it and doesn’t alert you to her need to go.

I think it’s time. That’s not a happy a life.

Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:36

It did not occur to me that she did not habe a quality of life - she is happy to see me and snozzes next to me - she does not seem stresswd that she wee s in the house in bit either .

OP posts:
Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:41

But when I am old and incontinant i may still be happy so - genuine question- why cant she be ?
my honest fear is that it would be pts so that we are not inconvenienced- that is my absolute fear Essentially as the vet said to me bllind dogs can have good quality of life when I asked her .

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 31/03/2024 21:43

Because dogs are not humans. She doesn’t have human feelings. She has comfy spots but she’s also lost and confused. Lost her bed, wets herself.. animals not like soiling themselves or their beds. She sleeps in your hall and wets it all.

Better a day to early than ever a day too late.

Devilshands · 31/03/2024 21:45

Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:41

But when I am old and incontinant i may still be happy so - genuine question- why cant she be ?
my honest fear is that it would be pts so that we are not inconvenienced- that is my absolute fear Essentially as the vet said to me bllind dogs can have good quality of life when I asked her .

Because dogs aren’t humans. TBH I doubt most humans would be happy either - none of my grandparents were. They just wanted to die. I would if I was inconitent, old, unable to see or hear and unable to leave my house.

Dogs want to be outside, running around, on the scent of some nasty fox smell or eating deer droppings.

A vet will only advocate a dog is PTS in extreme cases - aggression or condition that will cause pain or suffering. They don’t do it for old age.

Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:45

I mean i honestly think she is managing as she was snoozing with me today and rolling on her back .
I would feel such a terrible person pts j jusy because my house smells of wee .

i f this wasn't happening it seems to be and our som in law who said she is having a good life -pampered -only last week .

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 31/03/2024 21:46

Managing is that the life you wanted for her when you got her. To manage her life. Or love and live her life.

Haydenn · 31/03/2024 21:46

You know your dog. She might keep toileting inside now because of the smell-a deep clean and enzyme cleaner will help with that.

Otherwise I would be booking in a vet check to check for cognitive decline. The blindness wouldn’t worry me- but dogs don’t tend to toilet in their home- so I would be a bit worried about that- not from a mess pov- but from a function pov.

they always say you are better to make the call a week to early, rather than a day late. Be able to plan properly for the end and take your dog in yourself. Have a think- don’t be pressured by your DP - you won’t forgive him if it isn’t a decision you make. But speak with your vet and do whet you feel happy with for your lovely dog.

Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:46

I know whar tou mean abiut walks . She dows do small walks . Shw is a toy breed and i has always loved being at home thought.

OP posts:
Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:51

@Yea we habe treid a deep clean and to neutralise - because I think she weed in the house party because she can smell it despite use of special products - also because she knows she is ‘ allowed ‘ to wee in the hall at night (On pads). We cqbt get up all night to let her out

we had her checked - the vet said she has early cognitive issues.

OP posts:
Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:52

Sorry about my bad typing !

OP posts:
Beamur · 31/03/2024 21:53

Have a look at a quality of life index - HHHHHMM was mentioned to me by my vet when I wasn't sure what to do with my old girl.

Candleabra · 31/03/2024 21:57

You’re not thinking of pts because of the smell in the house, that’s just the consequence of your elderly dog’s decline.
She’s deaf, blind, has possible dementia and incontinence which means she can’t sleep in her special place near you, she must be so confused. Animals mask pain very well. She’s still showing contentment around you because she loves you so much. But her quality of life sounds poor and it sounds like it’s time to do her the final kindness.

Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 22:01

Beamur - yea we do that test regularly - it comes out as just ok as she can enjoy short walks . Company. Food .

OP posts:
fancyfrogs · 31/03/2024 22:03

Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 21:41

But when I am old and incontinant i may still be happy so - genuine question- why cant she be ?
my honest fear is that it would be pts so that we are not inconvenienced- that is my absolute fear Essentially as the vet said to me bllind dogs can have good quality of life when I asked her .

But what about old and incontinent plus blind and deaf??
Honestly I don't think I would be happy at all. It's lovely she seems to feel safe and settled with you overall but I agree with PPs sadly that it really doesn't sound like she has a great quality of life and that's just the unfortunate reality of old dogs sometimes

Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 22:08

Io those who suggest pts for her quality of life - i know I need to look ar it - dog nappies .. obviously wdnt address the issues you raise
the problem is on the quality of life score the vet said she just about has some quality of life due to her score as she likes food - cuddle s and some walks.
the trouble is people say you know yr dog - you know when its time- but i am afraid to miss this as she is declining slowly so that we miss it ( like when you are with a child you don’t notice the growth- then someone says wow they have grown) - am terrified to let her down by nit knowing her anymore as so close- but equally pts too soonwhen she could enjoy more months of cuddles and love .

OP posts:
Nameisnewforthis · 31/03/2024 22:09

I suppose i see her as a happy enough old dog as opposed to an ill old dog - and that is where my confidence is lacking.

OP posts:
lovemycbf · 31/03/2024 22:14

I'd consider dog nappies you can even get washable ones there's no way I'd pts just for this reason
Dogs do get old and leaky just like some humans do .
It sounds like it's just your husband who wants to pts you need to be sure you do what's right for the dog

Zippedydoodahday · 31/03/2024 22:24

Can you set a camera up overnight? She may well be pacing and distressed by the new sleeping arrangements, which would answer your question for you. You can't assume that because they are happy and settled when you are present they are also okay when you're not.