My untrainable dog...

[Doggoe]

I've given up looking for any advice but can anybody relate just so i know I'm not the only one doing through this!?
I'm not an experienced dog owner so i admit i was naive in my expectations, i had 1 previous dog who trained like a dream, she obviously had her minor faults but overall there were no major issues.
We are a family with 2 DC, previous dog slotted in well, she was sociable, gentle and kids loved her, we could take her to dog friendly events, UK holidays, beach etc. She sadly passed away and enter new dog, a Labrador puppy.
I know no 2 dogs are the same so i wasn't expecting new dog to take the others place but as i've said we are a family and do alot of days out and holidays to include the dog as we don't have a regular dogsitter so we naively assumed all would be well.
Dog is now 18 months old and we have so many issues, many things can be put down to anxiety i think (I'm no expert) but it means our lives have changed so much and i really am starting to resent the dog as we can no longer have days out etc because we cant take her and we cant leave her.
Dog was socialised from the get go and we have also done weeks of training to also try and get on top of these issues but its impossible and she truly is untrainable.
The issues are:

• Anxiety, she is scared of everything, unfamiliar people, dogs, loud noise, the wind, fireworks, going for a walk, the groomers, vets etc.
• Pulling on the lead, we have spent months trying to do loose lead walking after advice from trainer, had to resort to a halti harness, she still pulls on that. And not just a little pulling, she has nearly pulled my arm off multiple times.
• Separation anxiety, she isn't left alone often but she howls and chews her bed up. She has to be crated as we've tried without and she chews the house up.
• Biting, she still bites as much as she did when we got her, nothing we do stops her.
• Energy levels, she has endless energy and is very forceful. Will run full pelt at us and the kids, we all have constant bruises/scratches.
• Cannot keep her off the couch (i have no issue with dogs on the couch) but she does not sit calmly, she races on and off the couch constantly and seriously hurts you when you get stood on. I cannot have visitors other than family who understand because she does the same.
• Recall, she has so much energy she needs off lead walks but her recall is 0 at the moment, there have been odd times its been better but never consistent. Atm she cannot be offlead as she will just literally bolt.
• She's reactive to all dogs, barking and lunging and sometimes people.
• She whines alot, particularly when out for a walk but at home too.
• Night time, she does not settle until about 10-11pm, up and down the sofa, walking round in circles, in our face with obvious energy to burn, she has toys but wont play alone so constantly bringing them to you to throw and by 10pm i just want to relax!
• Jumping up, counter surfing.
• Terrorises the cat.

There are things i just can't remember at the moment but all these issues we have been working on training since having her and nothing has helped, most things have gotten worse! I clearly must be a terrible owner because i don't know any other dog with this many issues!?

To add she is walked daily, as mentioned off-lead is not possible right now, she has many toys/bones to keep her busy, she's only left a few hours 1 day a week as i work from home mostly. We play with her, kids do too so we try burn energy off that way. What else could i do?

@Babadook76 - I was making the point that 45 mins of exercise is not necessarily 'nowhere near enough exercise for a lab'
Me and the OP have energetic working dogs with great similarities in drive, energy and the need to be busy.
But I bow to your obviously superior knowledge about dogs
This board can be brutal to people who are struggling with their dogs. It is not helpful to tell the OP that she is failing her dog by not walking it for long enough and neither is it necessarily true

I have a Labrador who is 18 months old. Our routine is

7pm - wakes, food
8.30 - 45 min walk. Sleeps 10-12am
12-2pm we eat lunch, may give dog some mental stimulation also,
2-3.30 pm, nap
4pm - 45 min walk (approx 2 miles)
5pm - food
5-6.30 pm , plays, chew toy etc
7pm - sleeps

Have you tried crate training? Ours sleeps in a crate. It means you know they’re safe ands you can get on with things.

Mental stimulation include training (sit, stay, spin, recall,) , insider agility, playing with the ball (outside in better weather), hiding treats, etc

One of the best bits if advice we were taught is that every interaction with your dog is a training encounter.

Agree, kind of, about the OH... but the kids are 5. Far too young for that. The dog is a long way down the priority list, with the OP working, doing the school runs etc etc etc.

https://www.deltatails.com/blog/reactive-dogs-why-pattern-games-are-so-effective
Some behavioural theory behind Pattern Games here, plus practical advice on how to do them. These have been very helpful to us and our Lab in situations where she was showing anxiety-linked reactivity. They are really quick and simple once you’ve learned the cues.

I have a 2 year old Golden retriever, full working lines. He gets an hour daily and it is enough.

1 hour on lead only a day?

I fully accept that I don't have the time to walk her enough, that is clear.
But I never said I chuck her in the garden to amuse herself. I have 2 kids they are constantly running about, the dog runs around with them in the garden and in the house. They throw balls for her as do I, in and out the house, we play tug of war with her, she has a kong with treats. She follows me everywhere and gets attention, if I sit down she is on and off my lap wanting attention and I give her what I can. She gets more attention than my 5 years olds.
But i know my best isn't good enough this thread is showing me that.

She is crate trained, we had to or the house would be destroyed. But she only goes in there when we are out and bedtime which is about 1am as partner stays up late.
I think I definitely need to do more mental stimulation.

I have a 5 year old dog, and she still has weekly classes. Will pull like a train given half a chance, I use a halti. She isn't a labrador but still a high-energy, 'strong willed' breed.
Ask around for good force free trainers. It will be an ongoing cost. It's not something that can be 'fixed' in a short course.
Think of it like the extracurricular activity kids do. They don't do something for 6 weeks and are expert. Enrichment classes can calm even the nuttiest mutt.
Agility
Hoopers
Mantrailing
Scentwork
gundog
There are lots of options. Have a look. What's local?
It has generated support, friendship, and a social life for owners, too.

On top of the given advice.

What is she being fed on? Perhaps her diet needs changing for a lower protein food?

Don't despair. Have you contacted the breeder for help?

Puppies are hard work, I'd say more so after having an adult dog about the home. And teenage dogs can be even harder than pups.

Don't beat yourself up, you're doing what you can understand your circumstances.

You just need to change your focus, that’s all. A Sit and a Wait before meals seems really simple, for instance and chances are she either does this at home or will pick it up easily and do it well…..at home. Doing it again and again and again, in different environments will gradually embed itself in her silly, over enthusiastic, teenage Lab brain, until she can do it outside in a field, or before she’s allowed to greet people or dogs she knows etc.

The running and playing in the garden is great OP but it has to be as well as not instead of.Posters coming on here saying we are having a go at you must be hard of reading. We are just trying to advise you which is presumably why you posted. You need some professional help and to increase he walking. You are not bad, your dog isn’t bad but you need to change something otherwise you’ll all continue to be miserable.

To be fair the OP I replied to didn't say 1x45 min walk
Even so, this sounds like an "always on" dog. They need training to turn off. A bit like an overstimulated baby that can't get themselves to sleep.

Also, take a minute every day to remind yourself what she is good at! She plays with young dc, for example, you don’t say she shows any issues with that. It’s difficult sometimes to see the tiny training or socialisation progress they are making and teenage Labs can be the very definition of “When she was Bad she was Horrid” - mine certainly can! But every time she waited for me to go through a door first, or greeted another dog outside calmly and politely, or sat waiting between two stuffed Kongs until I gave her the Take It command were times worth celebrating.

he sounds inconsiderate and lazy and his gym is his priority.

@ringoutsolsticebells with respect, you're comparing apples and oranges.

You have a slightly older, naturally slightly calmer breed with no behavioural issues. OP has a young teenage dog of a high energy breed with plenty of behavioural issues that's getting (by all accounts) very minimal exercise.

OP I'd stop defending yourself. You're doing a lot more than most so go easy.

There could be another factor … I had a dog that was never trained, never stopped biting and also was never fully toilet trained although he was walked (pulling and jerking, cost me a lot at osteopath) and we had a dog flap for him.

turns out he had celiac disease.

if only … the vet had recognised this, he had the runs from soon after we got him but vet confirmed he was otherwise healthy and it would settle. Never did.

all the best with your puppy

I was pretty much you, at the end of my tether with our dog. If you're in the north west, I can recommend an amazing trainer! Def not the cheapest, and you pay up front for series of sessions, as understandably she wants you to understand that it is a process that won't be fixed in one session.

It is possible, with the right trainer

You own a gundog

Try gundog training. Best money I ever spent, and still spend, with a great positive trainer. Started with "fun gundog" and just kept going.

Your dog is wound tight as a spring because it's getting few outlets for it's genetic behaviour. It needs to be taught to retrieve, hunt etc safely so you can scratch it's genetic itches. labs are smart and trainable (usually because they're food obsessed!) and from my experience as a spaniel owner, a damn sight easier than spaniels 🤣

Is it show line or working line lab? That will make a difference to energy levels. Neutered/spayed?

Which region are you? Can recommend some gundog people.

So, teaching some house manners: will engage dogs brain and help you.

Mine have to sit before eating and are called to eat. They sit before we exit the front door, and on the way back in etc. all boring things really but still needs training and thought for the dog and makes my life easier too.

@Doggoe if you are within an hour of Winchester, PM me and I'll help you. I am a dog trainer. There will not be a cost to you.

🤣 honestly I half agree with you there getting rid of my DP would also relieve alot of stress!
My kids are 5, so they do get involved age appropriately, throwing a ball and asking her to sit for treats a little bit of tug of war etc.
She doesn't work for her food as she used to be incredible fussy and a grazer so I'd have to leave the food out all day for her to even eat it all bit by bit. Since being spayed she's much more food motivated so that would be a great idea.

Thank you, you're right I'm just expecting a quick fix and that's not going to happen. The trainer we have been do does hoopers and scentwork which we did think about doing. We were due to go back to classes after Xmas but if I'm honest I'm so embarrassed to go because we haven't made any progress with training and I feel like I'm judged by the people who have also been going and they've got nicely controlled dogs while I'm the complete opposite!

@ringoutsolsticebells does your dog stay on the lead all the time as well ? There is a lot of difference between 45 minutes on lead walking and 45 minutes running about exploring

Don't feel embarrassed, just go.

Training is an ongoing process. 2.5 years into gundog classes and mine was a total arsehole at his on the weekend.

You'll get there. I find short bursts of training work best like when the kettle is boiling etc. we E taught loads during these little sessions