My untrainable dog...

[Doggoe]

I've given up looking for any advice but can anybody relate just so i know I'm not the only one doing through this!?
I'm not an experienced dog owner so i admit i was naive in my expectations, i had 1 previous dog who trained like a dream, she obviously had her minor faults but overall there were no major issues.
We are a family with 2 DC, previous dog slotted in well, she was sociable, gentle and kids loved her, we could take her to dog friendly events, UK holidays, beach etc. She sadly passed away and enter new dog, a Labrador puppy.
I know no 2 dogs are the same so i wasn't expecting new dog to take the others place but as i've said we are a family and do alot of days out and holidays to include the dog as we don't have a regular dogsitter so we naively assumed all would be well.
Dog is now 18 months old and we have so many issues, many things can be put down to anxiety i think (I'm no expert) but it means our lives have changed so much and i really am starting to resent the dog as we can no longer have days out etc because we cant take her and we cant leave her.
Dog was socialised from the get go and we have also done weeks of training to also try and get on top of these issues but its impossible and she truly is untrainable.
The issues are:

• Anxiety, she is scared of everything, unfamiliar people, dogs, loud noise, the wind, fireworks, going for a walk, the groomers, vets etc.
• Pulling on the lead, we have spent months trying to do loose lead walking after advice from trainer, had to resort to a halti harness, she still pulls on that. And not just a little pulling, she has nearly pulled my arm off multiple times.
• Separation anxiety, she isn't left alone often but she howls and chews her bed up. She has to be crated as we've tried without and she chews the house up.
• Biting, she still bites as much as she did when we got her, nothing we do stops her.
• Energy levels, she has endless energy and is very forceful. Will run full pelt at us and the kids, we all have constant bruises/scratches.
• Cannot keep her off the couch (i have no issue with dogs on the couch) but she does not sit calmly, she races on and off the couch constantly and seriously hurts you when you get stood on. I cannot have visitors other than family who understand because she does the same.
• Recall, she has so much energy she needs off lead walks but her recall is 0 at the moment, there have been odd times its been better but never consistent. Atm she cannot be offlead as she will just literally bolt.
• She's reactive to all dogs, barking and lunging and sometimes people.
• She whines alot, particularly when out for a walk but at home too.
• Night time, she does not settle until about 10-11pm, up and down the sofa, walking round in circles, in our face with obvious energy to burn, she has toys but wont play alone so constantly bringing them to you to throw and by 10pm i just want to relax!
• Jumping up, counter surfing.
• Terrorises the cat.

There are things i just can't remember at the moment but all these issues we have been working on training since having her and nothing has helped, most things have gotten worse! I clearly must be a terrible owner because i don't know any other dog with this many issues!?

To add she is walked daily, as mentioned off-lead is not possible right now, she has many toys/bones to keep her busy, she's only left a few hours 1 day a week as i work from home mostly. We play with her, kids do too so we try burn energy off that way. What else could i do?

why doesn't your partner do any of the walking?

Scavenging dogs is one of the top reasons to muzzle train dogs, it will potentially save your dog and your bank balance from a hefty vets bill in future. Muzzle train your dog, it may not be permanent and as she gets out the teenage phase and gets better with training she may not need it any more.

Also agree she does sound woefully understimulated. Puzzle toys are well and good, but you may need to think outside the box and look at longer lasting games such as “find it” games and tracking.

You need a trainer to work with your whole family, including getting your DP to help. The other option is rehoming the dog, if the rest of the family don’t want that they are going to need to cooperate.

On “socialisation”, this is more than just meeting other dogs, it was just as important to teach dogs during that process how to ignore other dogs, to only initiate play when given the ok, to learn how to settle and relax in the presence of other dogs. Too many people think “socialisation” just means being able to play with other dogs.

Dog getting no where near enough walks in. 45 min/day is just not going to cut it.

If you cannot afford a dog walker you could try and find an experienced dog walker near you on https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/ to help out.

A 45 minute lead walk once a day is never going to be enough for anything but a very old lab. If you really can't dedicate any more time than that then I think rehoming is something to consider.

You need a serious conversation with your husband about him starting to help otherwise the dog will need to be rehomed . 45 minutes on a lead is nowhere near adequate - for comparison my 13.5 yr old terrier mix gets at least 45 minutes off lead and he has arthritis and various other medical issues .

Dog was socialised from the get go and we have also done weeks of training to also try and get on top of these issues but its impossible and she truly is untrainable.
"Weeks of training " eh? The subsequent posts explain it all, really. You expected a ready made dog. They are living creatures, not clothes. Your responsibility as a family was to be able to step up to the dogs needs.

Dog training, even with the most compliant dog, is every single day, for the whole of their lives. And that's before the mental stimulation - it isn't just about walks.

You don't like the dog. She doesn't have the life she needs with you. She's still young enough to get a second chance. Let her. She deserves a home better suited to her. As a family you shouldn't think about another dog until you can ALL step up and meet its needs.

Honestly I think he just can't be bothered or sees it as my job. He comes home from work and relaxes while I do dinner/dishes/chores/bath/bedtime etc. Then he goes to the gym. He does walk her if I haven't managed to maybe once or twice a week. The rest of the time I walk her around the kids clubs or have to take them with me hence why it's a 45 min walk.

Pay for a trainer or pts

Retractable leads are awful and actively dangerous for a powerful, impulsive Lab. Have you tried a harness and a double ended lead fixed to 2 points of contact (on her back and round the front)?
How did the training address pulling? If it was a jerk of the lead on a collar she needs to be taken back to absolute basics. Pulling must never get her where she wants to go. Heeling must be the only way she gets to progress forwards. It can be bloody hard and slow and mind numbingly boring, but stop when she pulls, change direction - you are in charge, not her. But it does sound as though she needs to be much more calm to take in the training, so start with Calm in the house, teaching a Settle etc.

Weeks of paid training as I explained, we have worked on the training daily since, but I didn't expect to be doing it mostly on my own on top of 2 children.
I didn't expect her to be perfect I just expected we would be further ahead with training by now, I know they have setbacks and things need to be continually worked on but we are struggling with basics and yes I admit I don't like her most of the time because she makes me stressed 24/7.
I had a dog previously and had no issues so yes maybe I was just expecting things to be a smooth sailing as before.

@Doggoe - when I was time poor with young DC and young dog, I started to teach my dog tricks.

I started with the basics like sit, stay down..... then moved on to more advanced like pretty beg, bow and roll over.
Once these things were masterd I taught them to push pull things, balancing & catching a treat from their nose, teaching the different names to their toys,...
I always started with a walking exercises around the house- heel and back/ close for turning, when I stop a stand / sit/ down. Keep it interesting and mix things up. Once tricks are masterd, get DC to ask the dog to do them...
It's not the answer to all your problems, but it will help. Do dog training little and often... sit & wait while you put het food down, brimg me x toy while you get DC ready....
YouTube is your friend!

This is absolutelty nowhere near enough to what she needs.

I could do that with my old dog (he was so smart, bless him), but with our current dog (the DUMBEST collie you could ever find), she is completely incapable of learning ANY tricks, can't even do paw 😅

I'm not sure I agree with that. I have a 2 year old Golden retriever, full working lines. He gets an hour daily and it is enough. Lots of games etc throughout the day etc. most importantly he has been taught to settle. My boy could walk for hours, that would simply turn him into an athlete

If he's at home relaxing, can you not take the dog out then whilst he's home? I think you may have made the mistake of over socialising the dog but not teaching it to ignore other people and dog's. I made the same mistake with my first dog.

If you're dog is food motivated you need to get a long line and a hell of a lot of treats and you need to do a lot of work. She's still young but it's going to take effort.

Running around in a garden isn’t the same as walking though. Walking gives them stimulation not just exercise. Sorry OP but you HAVE to exercise dogs properly in accordance with their needs not yours

Some of these answers a bit extreme. She's doing her best alone. Pts is ridiculous. She's not being cruel either walking the dog daily for 45 mins and letting it have run of the garden. On MN the only people allowed dogs are retirees or those who don't work who can dedicate all their time to walking their dogs over hills whilst training them to Crufts standards at home.

OP speak to DH. Tell him how bad it is and what you need him to do for help. Even walking her once at the weekend right now would help. Or swapping one gym session for a walk. But that's not going to solve some of the other behaviours. Sofa surfing and jumping is annoying in a small dog. With a lab it's a nightmare. I know you don't want to throw good money after bad but I'd try and get a 1-1 in your home so they can observe the environment. Hopefully insurance will cover some of the cost.

@Tomlettegregg People aren’t saying that . But it is a fact that dogs need to be exercised accordingly to breed etc and, most importantly, their own temperament. The behaviours this dog is displaying strongly suggest it isn’t being exercised enough or in the right way.

Quite rightly, no vet will euthanise a healthy dog because the owner can't be arsed...

Not going to repeat what has been said but just wanted to say good luck and I hope you get the support you need, dog training is HARD.

Also, might be worth checking diet with vet. Allergies are pretty common in dogs (even on high quality diets as they can react to various meat proteins as well as the more well known grains). Dogs with allergies can exhibit crazy behaviour, basically because they're uncomfortable. Knew one dog that was a literally nightmare, bouncing of the walls, totally untrainable - but the poor thing was itchy, hungry and in pain - hes much calmer now on new diet. A change of diet won't fix those behaviours, but it will make them more receptive to training.

1x 45min walk on the lead is NOT over exercising a working gun dog breed ffs. There’s a reason they’re used by everyone from the police/military/hunting/various services. People see these dogs being so well behaved and think they’ll make lovely pets. The reason why they’re so well behaved is that they’ve been selectively bred, and then intensively trained by a team of professionals every single day for approx 18 months to get them manageable. I can’t see the op putting anywhere near the amount of effort in to get this animal under control

^ this...

The OP may be "doing her best on her own". It isn't good enough!. The dog is having no time for itself - it's walked when convenient fitting around the family needs, disposed of in the garden when there's no time for it, and it's the centre of nobody's time. The dog doesn't fit 'around the family'. It is "the family". Its needs are as important as those of the five year old. We are talking a larger, energetic and intelligent breed. It is no more acceptable to not meet it's needs as it would be to suggest you don't have time for the 5 year old so stick'em in front of the TV for four hours daily. That's pretty much the same thing as chuck the dog on the garden to smuse itself.

What’s your completely different dog with completely different needs and circumstances got to do with the op?

OP, how old are your DC?
You are going to have to box clever (Personally I’d keep the dog and ditch the useless partner, but each to their own).

How are the DC with the dog? If you can get them involved in training tricks, or obedience work in the garden, that would help.

Are you feeding her, or is she having to work for her food? If she earns her food through training, including muzzle training, settle, tricks, walking to heel in the house and garden etc, that may help.