Can’t decide on keeping foster dog.

[Dogdilemma2000]

I’m feeling really stuck.

We took on a foster to adopt dog 9 months ago. She was born with abnormalities and required surgery to correct. She had incontinence (wee) issues but the rescue said it was minimal and should totally resolve with her first season. She was 7 months when we got her.

She’s an awesome dog. We all adore her, she’s responded to training so well. She’s gentle with kids and my DC major anxiety issues have literally reduced by around 70% since we got her. My DC was barely leaving the house before.

But the incontinence hasn’t resolved. We’ve been back and forth on medication, but her bladder is small and she seems prone to infections/cystitis. Typically we will have 3-6 weeks with barely any leaking, and then 3 weeks of drips on the floor and her licking herself constantly. Then repeat the cycle.

I can’t lie, it’s hard work. We keep her in kitchen (large space) so no leaks near kids toys/playing area. Kids are older (8-10) so there’s not many years of kids toys Everywhere left. We’ve got good routine of washing her and bedding that’s easy to wash etc. I bought slip on shoes for kids to wear in kitchen only but might as well not bothered as kids don’t remember.

When she leaks I can be mopping the drips 10 times a day and it’s relentless. I’m also very concerned she could get worse in the future. The rescue have said they’ll do assisted adoption so they will cover medical expenses for the condition going forwards.

What do I do? She’s gorgeous and such a good companion, and so deserving a wonderful home and family. But I’m worried in 5 years time it could go downhill. From experience the medication to control the condition can make her go a bit destructive, every time we’ve gone up a dose anything plastic she can get hold of gets destroyed!

Are there any surgical options? Might spaying help? If appropriate?

I don't envy you, is the incontinence the reason she's kept in the kitchen? Does this mean she's alone much of the time or fo you spend a fair amount of time there?

I'm not sure I could keep her if I'm honest with myself. Has there been any sign of a potential owner? Is the rescue actively looking or relying on you to keep her?

Pants? We had a ddog with colitis... Twas bloody grim. Literally.
Not sure I could give you the ddog you have shared with us op.
Even for the benefit to your dc... Worth keeping imo.

I’d make the whole downstairs waterproof and just stop her going upstairs personally . If you don’t feel you can cope though I’m sure she will be snapped up especially if the rescue are willing to foot the bills for this condition .

kept in the kitchen partly because of incontinence and partly because she would eat the kids toys!

Shes not alone very much - my computer desk is in the kitchen, and I tend to be in there most the day anyway, but I’m feeling a bit chained to the kitchen tbh! We let her in lounge in evening when toys are away. Hard floor throughout, no carpet, so easy to clean accidents.

Medical options are unclear- it’s not been easy getting information to be honest. No they are t looking for owner at the moment as we hoped to adopt if issues resolved.

It’s hard floor throughout already, she’s never allowed upstairs.

What if the next dog you foster has medical problems?

I would keep her.

Is she spayed yet? Bear in mind that unless there’s something they can fix surgically, spaying in itself can cause incontinence - so I would assume that might make it worse rather than better.

That’s very much in my mind. We could buy a puppy and have medical issues anyway.

No - due soon, I’m aware of that yes, so I think it will be decision point then.

But I suppose we could get a different dog, spay them and end up with same issues.

I know they do washable pants on Amazon which we used to use when dogs were in season but I know these are marketed for incontinence as well so these may be a good solution.

As per PP, you can buy incontinence knickers/ pants for her

Yes we looked at the washable pants - we have a pack of disposable for when we visit family etc, but they seem to irritate her (they fit strange). It’s something we can revisit in the future if needed, but nappies on a dog is absolutely a last resort scenario imo.

The reusable ones are much softer and nicer, we never had any problem. I know you said it's a last resort but having to clean everywhere including the dog and her potentially getting irritated by the leaks I think it is a solution worth considering when it flares up.

Have you used them on a dog? Any brands you recommend?

Yes when I had female dogs we used to use them when they were in season, the mess was terrible if not! They never bothered about them and felt very soft and had Velcro adjustable waists and were elasticated. We just got ours from Amazon. Just had a look and there are lots on there, I think we may have had the 'petting is caring' ones at some point as can remember the block colours.

Oh dear poor dog.

So you foster her in the expectation of adopting her i.e. try before you buy.

She is not a foster dog in the true sense, a foster dog is a dog you care for and love until the dog finds it's permanent home.

You've had her 9 months, she thinks she is at home.

When do you think you are going to decide ?

The only positive you said in the whole post is ' She’s gorgeous and such a good companion ' no mention of loving her :(

Lots of mentioning leaks and wees, but you don't seem prepared to put her in pants/nappies permanently. There are lots on the market all you have to do is try different ones, you can even buy 2nd hand ones on Marketplace.

Has she had her 1st season ?
When is she being neutered - will that be your responsibility or the rescue's ?

What do I think you should do ?
Return her to the rescue, let her find her permanent home - one that will allow her to love them and them to love her in return.

She is 16 months old, she could live another 12+ years, and in your own words
' and so deserving a wonderful home and family. '

Finally I am very surprised the rescue has allowed her to live with you for more than half of her life without you coming to a decision.

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon does being on a high horse and pissing on people make you feel better? please re-read my first post, or are you hell bent on beating someone up who is trying to make the right decision for dog and family alike? I said “we all adore her, she’s an awesome dog.” Do I really need to explain just how heartbreaking it would be to let her move on?

I think you are the one that doesn’t understand fostering. This was never a “try before you buy”. This was a “no one knows the medical future of this dog, she can stay in kennels at the rescue or go to a foster home until the fuller picture is known.

If we are unable to keep her I have given her a loving home and kept her out of kennels for 9 months. THATS WHAT FOSTERERS DO.

My last dog was incontinent for her last 15 years! It’s manageable. We found diet made a big difference. Raw was the best for her. We crate trained her so she could be safely confined overnight on vet bed and liners so any wee was contained. The furniture and all her sleeping spaces were covered with washable pads under throws. People used to say they’d no idea we were living with a leaky dog so we must have done ok 🙂

It was a lot of washing. I won’t lie. But she led a totally normal very active and happy life until the end. Propalin helped her a lot and she had no side effects.

It is doable.

edit. Not a fan of pants. They need to be able to clean themselves so we opted for external absorption which worked well. Urine burns badly.

@survivingunderarock thank you - that’s what I was hoping to hear to be honest. We use vet bedding and yes the washing has been intense at times- we’re looking at putting an old machine in the garage.

The rescue and vets advised against nappies for that reason - in a young dog it can interfere with toilet training, burns skin and can increase urine infections. Hence why I stated upthread they really are a last resort. I already do a bi-weekly bikini area shave on her as per vets recommendation to keep her clean, and daily washes when she’s leaky. The wet towels are more than id bargained for.

Do you have any other suggestions for managing?

Your exact words ' We took on a foster to adopt dog '

So...is the dog currently available for adoption on the rescue's website ?

If not, why not ?

If she had been placed with a fosterer for fostering, would she have her forever home by now ?

Do you know anything about dog fostering? From your reply the answer is a clear no. Dogs go into foster so thier long term needs can be assessed. Once that’s assessed the rescue can judge when they are suitable for adoption.

Fostering to adopt means the rescue place the dog as a foster with the hope it will turn into adoption.

I repeat, is the dog available for adoption on the rescue's website ?

What business is that to you? It’s totally irrelevant to my post.

Problem is no one else will want her.

We have taken on a troubled dog, it isn't easy but the alternative ultimately would be PTS as no one would choose a dog like this.

You worry about the future but a good life now is worth better than a long shit life.

I am not being flippant, this isn't easy whatever you decide