Can’t decide on keeping foster dog.

[Dogdilemma2000]

I’m feeling really stuck.

We took on a foster to adopt dog 9 months ago. She was born with abnormalities and required surgery to correct. She had incontinence (wee) issues but the rescue said it was minimal and should totally resolve with her first season. She was 7 months when we got her.

She’s an awesome dog. We all adore her, she’s responded to training so well. She’s gentle with kids and my DC major anxiety issues have literally reduced by around 70% since we got her. My DC was barely leaving the house before.

But the incontinence hasn’t resolved. We’ve been back and forth on medication, but her bladder is small and she seems prone to infections/cystitis. Typically we will have 3-6 weeks with barely any leaking, and then 3 weeks of drips on the floor and her licking herself constantly. Then repeat the cycle.

I can’t lie, it’s hard work. We keep her in kitchen (large space) so no leaks near kids toys/playing area. Kids are older (8-10) so there’s not many years of kids toys Everywhere left. We’ve got good routine of washing her and bedding that’s easy to wash etc. I bought slip on shoes for kids to wear in kitchen only but might as well not bothered as kids don’t remember.

When she leaks I can be mopping the drips 10 times a day and it’s relentless. I’m also very concerned she could get worse in the future. The rescue have said they’ll do assisted adoption so they will cover medical expenses for the condition going forwards.

What do I do? She’s gorgeous and such a good companion, and so deserving a wonderful home and family. But I’m worried in 5 years time it could go downhill. From experience the medication to control the condition can make her go a bit destructive, every time we’ve gone up a dose anything plastic she can get hold of gets destroyed!

Can you get more details about her condition and maybe consult a second vet ? she sounds a lovely dog 🐕
Give yourself more time to decide if that's an available option and get all info possible 👍

OP, my decision would mostly be based on the needs of my child. If she's made a big difference to your DC mental health, that's worth the wee in my opinion. Also, what would be the impact of losing her? Would DC be able to bond with another dog?

So the dog is not getting the opportunity to be adopted by another family whilst she is assessed for her medical condition ?

Shame.

And of course some other family would adopt her ! No decent rescue would even consider pts coz her her condition.

I repeat, has she had her 1st season and when is she being neutered.

I personally think any young, incontinent dog is going to be incredibly hard to rehome? I can’t imagine anyone queuing up to say give me an incontinent one- I only one of those.
It’s a condition you put up with as a dog gets older, or one you may tolerate until it’s time.

Any dog can develop issues, but this dog seems to have medical costs covered? That alone, to many is worth its weight in gold. 🤷🏼‍♀️You to love and have bonded with this dog.

On a side note DM used to put pants on her elderly dog, not because of incontinence but an itchy skin condition in the area (it was being treated by a vet and would just flare up at times).

Getting a puppy, as you've said, is no guarantee of a healthy dog. A relative of mine has had three pedigree dogs from a supposedly hardy breed - health tests, hip scores, looked at the pedigree going back x generations - two dead of inherited cancer, the other currently undergoing tests for a previously undetected genetic disease. My relative did everything right, and still had everything go wrong.

You've currently got a dog in your home that you all love. You hand her back, and get another and you could end up with a physically healthy, anxious wreck of a dog that needs 2 years of retraining and careful management to be a useful pet.

It sounds like you love her OP.

And it sounds like you couod
deal with the downsides - so then I think it’s just a question of the detriment (if any??) on your children?

Getting a puppy, as you've said, is no guarantee of a healthy dog. A relative of mine has had three pedigree dogs from a supposedly hardy breed - health tests, hip scores, looked at the pedigree going back x generations - two dead of inherited cancer, the other currently undergoing tests for a previously undetected genetic disease. My relative did everything right, and still had everything go wrong.

You've currently got a dog in your home that you all love. You hand her back, and get another and you could end up with a physically healthy, anxious wreck of a dog that needs 2 years of retraining and careful management to be a useful pet.

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon You are being very unfair. It is very common practice in a situation like this to not advertise the dog until she's had all surgeries etc. And fostering with first option to adopt is very common.

@LameBorzoi

in which case she would be on the rescue's website as ' not available for adoption '

and the fosterer would be putting updates on her profile.

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon Different rescues do things differently sometimes.

@LameBorzoi

An example.
I have removed the dog's name / breed and location of fosterer / the name of the Vet

Status: Not ready for adoption

ID: xxxx

Name: xxxx

Breed: xxxx

Age: 1 Year

Gender: Female

Adoption Fee: See below

Location: In Foster in
xxxx

If you are interested in adopting a dog that does not say it can be homed with a cat and wish us to cat test please let us know and we will be happy to do this.
30-11-2023 xxx is the sweetest and very beautiful little poppet who has come to us from a breeder. She is a little nervous but happy to be handled and we don't think it will take her long to settle into her new now. xxxx needs to see our vet as she has a heart murmur which needs to be assessed. xxxx loves her kennel mates and will need a home where these is at least one other dog to help her learn about house training and lead walking etc. She will watch what they do and then start to copy them. xxxx is going to be someone very special princess and if you can offer her everything she deserves please put in an application form. When she arrived we felt she was a xxxx but after spending more time with here she is now thought to be a xxxx.
06-12-23 UPDATE
xxxx has seen our vets and she has a Grade 6 heart murmur. Our vet has advised that she is referred to a specialist for a scan to see if anything can be done to help her.
28-12-23 UPDATE
xxxx is an absolute breath of fresh air and a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. She can make you laugh even when you’re feeling down and she’ll never fail to put a smile on your face when she’s around. She’s just so happy and goofy, and you can tell she really loves and appreciates life. Her heart condition doesn’t stop her whatsoever and if you didn’t know about it, you would never ever guess. She loves sprinting around the play yard with her friends or chasing a ball, and she loves having toys in her kennel to play with too. She’s really letting her inner puppy loose and it’s SO lovely to see.
xxxx will still need a resident dog in her new home and it would be lovely if they could match her playful energy. She does also love to snuggle once playtime is over! I think she could now be homed with teenagers now that her confidence has improved, but they would have to be very sensible and respectful of her space.
This beautiful girl hasn’t been dealt the best hand, but she never complains about it. She really is one in a million and she deserves the BEST life in the entire world.
25-01-24 UPDATE
xxxx has had an operation on her heart, its called a PDA (in layman's terms she had a hole leading to her heart sealed). xxxx vets were pleased with the surgery, for the next 10 days she has to be kept quiet and on a lead in the garden which is easier said than done as she tends to do most things at 100mph. xxxx has a 4 week check up booked to tell us more about her long term prognosis.

Thats not how this rescue works. There’s no website database with profiles to update. Maybe Battersea can afford systems like that but small local rescues don’t have that kind of funding. Maybe you’ve missed the absolute financial cris the majority of rescues are facing post covid?

The rescue have expressed no concern with me over how things have progressed. She is not considered ready for adoption. Not that it is any of your business. Or are you jealous and want to adopt her?

Please take your ill informed sanctimony elsewhere.

Really just frequent trips out and all of the above! Vet bed is a game changer and ours is nearly 20 years old, now used with the new pup and still going strong. Well worth the money. Human chair protectors are cheaper than puppy pads. You can get them vat free online.

Do they have a reason? Mine was unexplained. She had loads of tests.

Diet may be worth looking at. We found dry and anything with fish set her off. Raw was best (pre prepared complete cubes) with a good quality wet being second choice. Shaving is good. We used to have wipes too for if she was going through a leaky patch.

My pup is now 18 months and after 15 years of management for our last dog still find myself looking for wet patches when she gets up!

To me, I got to the bit about your children's anxiety reducing and I was yes- keep her. It is a giant pain if you have a dog who is incontinent (or a child or an adult!) but that gain in terms of happiness in the family is something very valuable, and I also think caring for her, and chatting about it as a family with your children will get them to see they are also doing something special by accepting her as she is. In other words, instead of seeing it as a comparison between an imaginary dog (which might have all kinds of other problems) and this dog who leaks a bit, see it as this special dog has come to you and that's to her advantage and to yours, and to your children's. Ask them what they think, how they can help her, what should you do as a family and I think the answer will be quite clear.

Ignore the PP. They don’t live in the real world and I’m not sure what they are trying to prove. My dog was a rescue.

Do you work for Many Tears Animal Rescue where you’ve copied that data from? This dog is not from that rescue.

Or are you the breeder who abandoned her at 8 weeks old?

What’s your problem?

It sounds as if you are missing a lot of information on the prognosis here. Personally, I would arrange a trip to a specialist vet so that I knew what her treatment options were.

I think a good fit of personality with the family is the most important thing, but I recognise how hard incontinence in dogs can be, especially with kids in the house.

Thank you. Yes you’re right- the kids adore her and she has been an amazing accidental therapist for them. Anyone who meets her falls in love with her.

It’s been a tough couple of days - she’s had a couple bad days (will call vets tomorrow) so I needed that perspective. I’ve always wanted rescue dogs - we are very focused as a family on saving wildlife and helping animals in need, and she is part of that. We explained to the kids when we got her that she needed love and care but has medical problems. Asking how they can help us a very good idea - they are great kids and will get on board with helping out.

I think she would easily find another home with the OPs description - it’s not every day or even every week and she leaks drips .

OP, I think you are a complete hero to be coping with all this.

I’ve lived with a much loved incontinent dog and it’s hard work. And I don’t have children.

Also, your patience with the relocated elderly Scottish person is v impressive.

@Izzy24 thank you. It’s one of those things unless you’ve lived with it you don’t know how challenging it can be!

Keep the dog. It loves you all and you love it. Whats a wee bit of wee amongst family?

So you will be submitting your application to adopt her tomorrow ?

Who? Me?

@Whatevershallidowithmylife ignore that poster. They don’t think you should take careful consideration and count the cost before you decide to adopt a dog you’re currently fostering.