Can’t decide on keeping foster dog.

[Dogdilemma2000]

I’m feeling really stuck.

We took on a foster to adopt dog 9 months ago. She was born with abnormalities and required surgery to correct. She had incontinence (wee) issues but the rescue said it was minimal and should totally resolve with her first season. She was 7 months when we got her.

She’s an awesome dog. We all adore her, she’s responded to training so well. She’s gentle with kids and my DC major anxiety issues have literally reduced by around 70% since we got her. My DC was barely leaving the house before.

But the incontinence hasn’t resolved. We’ve been back and forth on medication, but her bladder is small and she seems prone to infections/cystitis. Typically we will have 3-6 weeks with barely any leaking, and then 3 weeks of drips on the floor and her licking herself constantly. Then repeat the cycle.

I can’t lie, it’s hard work. We keep her in kitchen (large space) so no leaks near kids toys/playing area. Kids are older (8-10) so there’s not many years of kids toys Everywhere left. We’ve got good routine of washing her and bedding that’s easy to wash etc. I bought slip on shoes for kids to wear in kitchen only but might as well not bothered as kids don’t remember.

When she leaks I can be mopping the drips 10 times a day and it’s relentless. I’m also very concerned she could get worse in the future. The rescue have said they’ll do assisted adoption so they will cover medical expenses for the condition going forwards.

What do I do? She’s gorgeous and such a good companion, and so deserving a wonderful home and family. But I’m worried in 5 years time it could go downhill. From experience the medication to control the condition can make her go a bit destructive, every time we’ve gone up a dose anything plastic she can get hold of gets destroyed!

Exactly.

Some people think that a dog's needs trump a humans.

Some people think that a carefully managed transition to a carefully selected home is a terrible thing to happen to a dog.

At least get the terminology right, I quote: ' before you decide to adopt a dog you’re currently fostering. ' to ' We took on a foster to adopt dog ' that is the only reason you are fostering.

You are not a fosterer as such, you are trying before you buy.

Well you had now tried her out for 9 months, how much longer is it going to take you to decide ?

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon It's is entirely reasonable to foster until a dog's medical prognosis and needs are clear. Sometimes this takes time.

And there is nothing wring with an extended foster to a view to adopt.

What's your problem? Why are you badgering the op?

Foster to adopt IS try before you buy in effect. But it’s making sure both parties understand the implications and in many years of experience with rescue not uncommon in dogs with medical needs.

Dog goes into great home . Has amazing time. Home keeps dog or realises that they can’t accommodate dog long term. Dog goes into another amazing home. Dogs are highly adaptable creatures by and large. I’m not sure why you are bullying the OP with nothing useful to add. Quite strange.

Quite - we are still waiting to see what other options are for her medical needs. Two weeks ago I was pushing for adoption but having had a week of mopping constantly I’m having a big wobble.

We took her on fully expecting it to resolve with her first season

Well done for managing your dog so well.
A very good dog rescue also detests pants and ''belly bands'' for the scalding it can do to dogs.
I tried to use pants {just once for about 10 mins} on a female dog on her first season, but she became very distressed by them - she needed to be able to clean herself.
She's now spayed.

I don't know, I think you'd miss her terribly OP. You already love her. This is a tough one for sure. Coukd you get away with 'pullups: on her? Spaying might help, it entirely rests on what exactly is causing the issue. Will they scan her to look for anything else on there?
Also, silly question does she actually drink enough do you think?
It's miserable for her to keep having cystitis. Bless her, hope she can be helped soon.

posted before read the two above. yes forget the pullups/pants idea if it causes then distress like that.

To help with the washing, have you invested in some microfiber dog towels? I find them so much less soul destroying than old human towels as they are more absorbant, less bulky and dry quicker.

I'd have to keep her for my child's sake as much as anything. Giving her up could trigger a massive anxiety relapse.

Our dog has similar issues and is on medication. He has times when the medication needs increasing as he struggles to wee due to an enlarged prostate and he dribbles constantly. He constantly needs the garden. It lasts about a week then it resolved. We cope by keeping him in the kitchen and currently researching a belly band so I can insert a cheap ST. It is hard work constantly letting him out and mopping the floor. We took him to a specialist vet for a second opinion and they said our regular vet did not have the correct dosage of medication..
I also worry about the future but I don't believe that's a reason not to enjoy him now. He deserves a loving home and knows I can give him that. I worry that someone else wouldn't. You DC sound like they get so much from your dog too.

Got to agree. She could have had a permanent home by now

Reasonable question op

@QueenBitch666 There is no rule that all foster to adopt dogs across groups have to be advertised. Or are you accusing OP of something?

That is such a hard decision. It sounds like you all really love her. Also of massive importance is the fact that she is such a brilliant calming influence on your DC. BUT all that wee with maybe no prospect of it getting better. I feel for the poor dog suffering with utis all the time.

Good luck whatever you decide. She is lucky to have found you now.

I'd get the washable pants with Velcro fasteners - I've used them on bitches in heat and they get used to them pretty quickly. They look totally ridiculous in them but if it's just for in the house it won't matter. I got some on eBay.

The dog is safe, cared for and has a good foster home. Overly emotive nonsense such as 'she thinks she is at home' helps no one, stop anthropomorphising animals. Dogs don't think like that and it is demeaning to animals to put human values on them. Theirs are just fine.

I would be wary of spaying OP due to the risk it carries with incontinence, but your vet would advise further on that. I would wonder as she is only young if this is something time would help with, but only you can decide if the extra work is doable. It is relentless to live with, however it sounds like she has fitted in with your family beautifully and I would say the positive effect on your children is worth it.

Thank god for people like you willing to foster.

I agree.
Would just add, I'd also be considering the trauma to your children if you don't keep her.
But it's a big predicament, and unlike what a few have said, I don't think there would be queues to take her. Sure, she'd get lots of likes on social media and hundreds saying "oh the poor darling baby girl" (which she isn't) and "I only wish I could take her", but when it came down to it how many would actually step forward?
It would also influence my decision that I couldn't easily take her with me to cafes, other friends homes etc.
Best wishes

I’d love to know if the people who’ve been harshly critical here are offering to take a young incontinent dog? The rescue has another one they can’t find a foster for. Should live 14 years@QueenBitch666 ?

Thanks. Yes you are right, I think the positive effect on the family is massive, and does outweigh the extra work. It’s just relentless mopping at times and wasn’t the expected outcome by vets or rescue.

We’ve got a meeting with the vets scheduled, hopefully we can get some answers and a better understanding of the long term picture. Vets have mentioned previously that there is other medication she can go on but “it’s not good for her” so we need to have a clear picture of options and whether further surgery will help.

Thanks to everyone who’s been supportive and given ideas - very appreciative to any more actual advice! She’s a gorgeous girl and I’d be heartbroken to part with her.

I remember having a crisis meeting with our vet after about a year regarding what do do for the best. Our vet was and still is wonderfully pragmatic and pulls no punches (but also extremely kind and caring when the chips are down). He said 'you have three options. You hand her back to the rescue. You euthanise her (she was bouncing around the room at this point happy as anything) or you take a deep breath, learn to manage it and crack on, with our support.' You know which one we chose.

It really is manageable and it becomes part of life. I'd not judge anyone for not taking it on though but ultimately there are worse medical conditions a dog can have and many do.

Gawd, can't believe the people on here trying to condemn you for giving careful consideration to whether you're prepared to commit to caring for an incontinent dog when it isn't actually yours yet.

I think it's human to question whether you want to spend a decade or more mopping up dog piss, FGS

Anyway. I don't know whether you should keep it but I did use washable nappies for DC - a fleece liner on the nappy really helped with skin issues and nappy rash, moisture wicked away underneath so the wet acidic bit wasn't sitting against the skin. Might work the same way with dogs! Easy to find online, basically just rectangles of very fine polyester fleece.

@littlejo67 sorry to hear about your dogs problems, can't an operation be done to help him?

I do recommend a second opinion for her. We were paying for very expensive medication to treat our girl's spay incontinence and while we saw some improvement, there were drips and we did a lot of washing blankets/towels/bedding. After a long time, sometimes larger amounts would seep out while she was lying down.

We changed vets and they gave her a different (and cheaper) medication, she's now completely leak free. I'm glad we got sorted but also really annoyed it wasn't 2 years earlier.

Hi there, I'm just heading out so have only read your posts @Dogdilemma2000 , but I wondered if one of the medications you've tried is Propalin drops? We have a piddly dog too (we later found out that's why she'd been given up for rehoming) but these drops work beautifully. Stopped the problem almost instantly.

Like every drug, it won't be suitable for every dog of course, but your vet will keep you right I'm sure. It's made a massive difference to our girl. She's 10 now - we've had her since she was 3 - we're so lucky to have her, she's a wonderful dog.