Massive regrets about adopting our dog...

[Mindfulraisin]

I know a lot of you will judge me for this, but I am hoping at least some will have some advice... Sorry it's a long story.
We adopted a rescue dog from abroad - a local family was giving her up, they said it was because they had sudden sickness in the family and couldn't give her the attention, the rescue organisation that brought her to the UK said it was they were unwilling to put in the time to train her. They said she just had normal "puppy" issues and just needs training.
Her story is - she was found at about 3 months old on her own, brought to the UK to a foster and adopted by that family. Stayed with them for a month then we took her about 10 days ago. We visited her and loved her - she is a beautiful pup, friendly and sweet, and unfortunately any concerns I had when I met her I ignored - I just wanted another dog after I lost my old one few months ago.
Unfortunately as soon as we brought her home we realised we cannot manage her. She has masses of energy, she is not aggressive but extremely nippy. You can't put a lead on her, or a harness, or lift her paws to wipe etc. She is also getting quite big, I swear she grew since we took her in! We have a 5 year old, and it's just not a suitable dog for us - my daughter got bitten on the bum once - it was in play and not out of aggression, and it didn't pierce her skin just left two indentations.
The rescue place has advertised her for rehoming, but are calling us irresponsible, and telling us to "just grow up", that she's just a puppy that needs work. They have not seen this dog in 6 weeks, so not sure how can they know the issues. They still say on the ad that she is small in size! Whilst we appreciate we made a stupid decision, we feel she really needs to go, for everyone's sanity. I feel like the rescue place should be held responsible here too, as she should not have been rehomed with us - the young child and we also both work, albeit my other half from home. Which is another issue, as she howls when left alone and until we started using a crate she was thrashing the place. We can't bond with a dog that is either nipping us or howling...
She would suit somebody who is at home most of the time to play and train her. There is a local man who wanted to adopt her from us, but the rescue place turned him down and said they didn't feel he was the right match. He is about 70, retired and lives alone. They offered him a different dog, very similar to ours just a little older so not sure what the issue is. How can they say he was not right but decided that we are?
Trouble is the contract I signed says if we don't want or can't keep the dog we have to offer it back to the organisation to be rehomed, or to the kennels where they would wait to be rehomed (we would have to pay for that). I would hate to do that as I think kennels would be an awful place for her, but not sure what else we can do?! My partner wants to contact the Blue Cross...

The issues you’ve mentioned do sound like typical puppy issues. How have you been tackling these? Have you joined any puppy training classes?

If you are dead set on rehoming do it as quickly as possible so the puppy at least has the chance of some normal, settled puppyhood with more experienced owners who can nip these things in the bud and not set the poor dog on a road to behavioural hell.

Sounds like a typical puppy. But if you don’t want her just take her back

This does sound typical of most puppies.

Are you enrolled in puppy classes, or have you tried contacting a trainer?

Puppies really are little land sharks for a stage and mouth/nip everything. There are plenty of techniques to redirect this behaviour more appropriately, it just takes patience and dedication.

Thanks for your replies - we can't take her back though, according to the contract we can only wait for the rescue to find a new owner, or put her in kennels. I think the howling is more of an issue now than the nipping, as my other half can't do any work with that going on. It's clear she needs somebody who can give her more attention than us.

Another one saying it sounds pretty much what I’d expect from a puppy... adopting an older rescue puppy quite often means dealing with little puppy behaviour but in a bigger body.

The good news is they’re usually easier to train than a younger puppy, so it’s only the first wee while that’s harder.

Another rescue won’t touch her, because she’ll be chipped to her original one, so if you don’t want her, returning her to then is your only option.

If he’s at home, why can’t she be with him?

Find her a new home and don't get another dog.

Take her back to them, but do not get another dog any time soon.

This. Poor dog.

She just sounds like a typical puppy and of course she is growing! I think you were just unrealistic in general about how much time, attention and patience a puppy needs. Unless you are willing to pay for someone else to help you train her I think you should only stick to older dogs from now on.

It's understandable if you realize you made a mistake but you shouldn't be blaming the rescue organization when you admit you ignored any issue when you met her and clearly didn't do enough research on what to expect. She has also only been with you 10 days which is no time at all, especially after all the disruptions she has already had. If she was a street dog she may well take a lot more socializing as she didn't get it before 3 months.

With all due, respect, what were you hoping for from a puppy?

Have you been doing any training with her? What’s her structure during the day? Have you socialised her? As pp have said, what you’re describing is very typical puppy behaviour that can be worked on given time and input.

How much exercise/stimulation are you giving her? A decent walk or play before she's left alone might make a big difference to the howling. It's difficult when you loose a dog then get a puppy, you forget/don't realise how intense they are and how much work it is for a start. If you really want another dog I would stick at it with her, I remember the 1st week I got my dog feeling like i'd made a huge mistake (adopted older dog) but now she's just the best!

I think posters are being really hard on the OP.

I see this situation a lot with foreign rescues who are at fault in this situation.

1. They rehomed the dog to owners who were not situated to the dog and it was the wrong environment for the dog. They often give out totally incorrect info on the dog or have assessed it completely wrong!
2. The rescue then allowed the dog to be passed on with no checks or questions to another home - if the OP home had been assessed correctly it would have been recognised that it was not a good fit
3. The OP now has a dog in the wrong environment and rescue to take the dog back

The OP may have been naive in their expectations but they wanted to help the dog and it sounds like they have been lied to about the dog.

The rescue should be supporting the OP with advice and management but it does not appear they are doing that either.

No other rescue will take her OP if you have a contract from another rescue. Keep talking to the rescue.

Foreign rescues will have bigger "issues" than normal puppy behaviour as many posters are suggesting. It will not be a matter of taking the dog to training classes putting them on a lead and taking them for a walk to get used to things. It can take some foreign rescues months to get them to be happy with a collar for example.

I think it is unfair of posters to minimise the issues for the OP.

Join the group “Dog training advice and support” on fb.

Read the guidelines and follow them. If you’re still struggling ask in the group and the trainers who run it will help.

Unfortunately it does sound like you’ve been irresponsible. Eg your dh wfh - is he interacting at all with the puppy? Is he taking regular time out to play with it and wear it out? What was the plan going to look like for him working with a puppy around?
All puppies are bitey and difficult, and it sounds like you didn’t expect that at all - before you got her how did you expect to manage this behaviour with a young child around? What training has been done? What training do you do on a daily basis?

If you can’t do the work involved you need to insist that the shelter takes her back, because every day she goes without vital training and socialisation is another day for her to become an unrehomable monster.

A decent walk or play could be the absolute worst advice to give to a new foreign rescue!

Why? You shouldn't exercise a foreign rescue dog?

To be fair, she sounds just like my puppy from the breeder. She’s a small breed but I had to work with her on my knee for 6 weeks as she cried if I wasn’t making eye contact. I didn’t leave her on her own for more than 30 seconds for her first 3 months of being home. And the nipping and those razor sharp teeth was a nightmare.

But once she was through teething, and got a bit older, she became a beautiful well rounded dog who is happy on her own for up to 8 hours (although she does still snap, but not bite, to tell you she’s had enough).

That all said, if you’re not the right home for the puppy I’d suggest telling the rescue that the dog will no longer be living with you and it will either go to the old man, left free on the street or made available for them to collect by X date. And that you won’t pay for kennels and you think it’s the wrong thing for the dog.

If they don’t collect, then give to the man willing to take the puppy - as what are they going to do?!

Thank you @IngGenius, you've summarised our situation perfectly. I take everyone's comments on the chest - we were ignorant and hasty, but we had a puppy in the past, so not complete novices. I don't think we should "never own a dog again" but probably not right now. I do however feel that the rescue should have done more to assess us and the dog properly, maybe take in to a foster after the last family gave her up for that reason. But of course there are costs associated with that so they probably didn't want to do that. A friend of mine just adopted a puppy through RSPCA, she has 2 daughters, 10 and 13, and they had reservations giving them the puppy in case of it biting.

My other half suggested just giving her to the old man, but I'm worried about the contract I signed and potential legal implications. Also he wouldn't be able to chip the dog as the chip details are with the rescue.

Just to echo what @IngGenius said - this is a recurring issue with foreign rescues.

Their ability or willingnesss to accurately assess a dog and how it will cope in a typical UK home and family is often really poor.

As is their ability or willingness to provide ongoing support. Ongoing post-rehome support is the No 1 factor that influences how successful a rehome is and foreign rescues are often lacking here.

The have to use so much energy and resource in the originating country and with transport logistics that there is not much left for any of the extras. There is often also a much lower standard of welfare in the originating countries that it can seem like anything is better than nothing - but this doesn't help the new family and (imo) doesn't actually help the dog much either. The rehoming process becomes much more of a lottery than it should or could be.

You need to enroll this puppy on to training classes. Lots of long walks and play sessions. You haven't given it a chance to settle. It's too soon to give up on it.

She’s a 4 month old puppy who is teething. They all nip. If you don’t want a nipping puppy and a 5 year old in the house that’s fine, but you probably shouldn’t have got a puppy at all. This isn’t surprise behaviour.
Non of them want to have a harness put on or their feet wiped until you teach them. This also isn’t a surprise. You got a rescue not knowing the breeds. the size was always a known risk. So also not a surprise. Is it just the reality of these things that are difficult? It’s just like having a child, the difficult stages pass you just need to work through them.

rehome the dog if you’d like, it’s young enough. Alternatively you can train these behaviours and have a good relationship with the dog but it will obviously take time and effort. Are you looking for training advice or rehoming advice?

This puppy is 4 months old? Of course she nips and doesn't want to be left alone. Of course she needs to learn how to wear a harness and have her paws handled. It sounds as though she had a difficult early life, but absolutely nothing you have written about her behaviour indicates that it is in any way remarkable.

I don't agree with importing dogs from overseas, and perhaps the rescue was wrong to place the puppy with your family. But getting rid of a puppy because it is acting like a puppy would also be wrong IMO.

Some rescues come with a lot of issues. All foreign rescues are not the same. A street dog that has been living feral and bought to the UK will try to escape and bolt out on walks.

The dog should be given a lot of time to decompress before walks play etc should be introduced . The dog has had a mega change in circumstances and a " good walk" will literally over stimulate an already traumatised dog.

I dont know the OP's dog and for that reason I will not be saying all the "normal" things that may help a domesticated puppy. A lot of posters on this tread are dismissing the dogs behaviour as normal - a foreign rescue may need very careful handling and a lot of extra steps before they can be treated like a dog that has been used to being domesticated and living with humans.

I have a client case that still haunts me to this day. A young family wanted a dog and approached a foreign rescue. They said they had young children, a cat and the parents worked. The foreign rescue happily said this was no issue.(!) The family in good faith collected the dog from the motorway service stations (which is how may rescues work) . The new dog had killed the cat within a hour of being in the house, the youngest child had to go to A& E for stiches to its lip. The dog bit the child whilst the owners where holding the child in their arms. The rescue refused to remove the dog and the owners had no idea how they would survive and cope with the dog. The outcome was not good and this is not a lone story.

Do not judge the OP in this situation we do not know all the facts. But can be pretty sure that a "good walk" will not solve the problem.

F

Having a puppy is hard hard work and I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had at least a moment of regret when they’re in the nipping stage.

We had a dog from a puppy for 15 years and with our new dog definitely forgot how difficult and how much work it can be.

I think you should enrol the dog in some training, or take it back.