Massive regrets about adopting our dog...

[Mindfulraisin]

I know a lot of you will judge me for this, but I am hoping at least some will have some advice... Sorry it's a long story.
We adopted a rescue dog from abroad - a local family was giving her up, they said it was because they had sudden sickness in the family and couldn't give her the attention, the rescue organisation that brought her to the UK said it was they were unwilling to put in the time to train her. They said she just had normal "puppy" issues and just needs training.
Her story is - she was found at about 3 months old on her own, brought to the UK to a foster and adopted by that family. Stayed with them for a month then we took her about 10 days ago. We visited her and loved her - she is a beautiful pup, friendly and sweet, and unfortunately any concerns I had when I met her I ignored - I just wanted another dog after I lost my old one few months ago.
Unfortunately as soon as we brought her home we realised we cannot manage her. She has masses of energy, she is not aggressive but extremely nippy. You can't put a lead on her, or a harness, or lift her paws to wipe etc. She is also getting quite big, I swear she grew since we took her in! We have a 5 year old, and it's just not a suitable dog for us - my daughter got bitten on the bum once - it was in play and not out of aggression, and it didn't pierce her skin just left two indentations.
The rescue place has advertised her for rehoming, but are calling us irresponsible, and telling us to "just grow up", that she's just a puppy that needs work. They have not seen this dog in 6 weeks, so not sure how can they know the issues. They still say on the ad that she is small in size! Whilst we appreciate we made a stupid decision, we feel she really needs to go, for everyone's sanity. I feel like the rescue place should be held responsible here too, as she should not have been rehomed with us - the young child and we also both work, albeit my other half from home. Which is another issue, as she howls when left alone and until we started using a crate she was thrashing the place. We can't bond with a dog that is either nipping us or howling...
She would suit somebody who is at home most of the time to play and train her. There is a local man who wanted to adopt her from us, but the rescue place turned him down and said they didn't feel he was the right match. He is about 70, retired and lives alone. They offered him a different dog, very similar to ours just a little older so not sure what the issue is. How can they say he was not right but decided that we are?
Trouble is the contract I signed says if we don't want or can't keep the dog we have to offer it back to the organisation to be rehomed, or to the kennels where they would wait to be rehomed (we would have to pay for that). I would hate to do that as I think kennels would be an awful place for her, but not sure what else we can do?! My partner wants to contact the Blue Cross...

Dh working from home but not being able to put in the time needed for a puppy, was never going to work - and that’s without the other issues.

This is an ex-feral street dog that was imported over to the UK during its' most vital socialisation period.

It has lived with one family who had a baby and decided they couldn't be arsed, lived with a foster family and now with OP's family. All it really needs is some stability, for at least 6 months, not 10 days, puppies don't magically become lovely well trained adult dogs all by themselves.

Why did you choose a foreign rescue @Mindfulraisin ?

If you're involved in rescue you would know that there is a serious problem with the importation of sick dogs (not just rabies, but other nasty diseases like brucellosis, babesiosis), dogs with falsified paperwork, dogs going from street straight into new homes, no RBU etc.

There was someone digging microchips out of dogs so they could falsify the dog's country of origin.

There are some excellent charities rehoming properly assessed dogs into suitable homes but for every one doing it right, there's probably half a dozen doing it very wrong.

Some are well meaning but naive, others are outright criminals profiteering from 'retail rescue'.

BVA are also concerned:

https://www.bva.co.uk/news-and-blog/news-article/bva-calls-for-extra-vigilance-and-stricter-pet-import-measures-after-first-confirmed-dog-to-human-case-of-brucella-canis-in-the-uk/

I would be taking what the rescue says with a huge pinch of salt.

@justaboutdonenow

I'm not involved in rescue

I do actually agree with what you're saying and I don't support foreign rescues, but I don't think this thread is the right place to have this discussion, especially as there's no evidence that this dog came here illegally.

Yes, the rescue has been dodgy as fuck, but there's no evidence of any legal wrongdoing and a discussion about rabies and infectious diseases isn't helping anyone here.

Did you say you've had the puppy for 10 days? If so then it's 10 days and you want to re home!!! I'd say you are irresponsible and rather unrealistic about what having a puppy involves. If it's howling then something is wrong, is it bored? Does it get out enough, has it got toys, I mean you can't Evie y to get a puppy and in 10 days have it all trained!

Poor dog. My FIL did this. They adopted a rescue dog from abroad, 'didn't like it' so just got rid of him. Just awful.

My son's best friends family got a new puppy and they aren't much good either. They leave the puppy at home alone all day. And the previous owner was too old to take the poor thing on walks.

Just how is it that all these poor dogs are allowed to end up in these sad situations. It absolutely disgusts me.

I know so many people who have abandoned dogs recently:

1. A family who moved overseas so rehomed their dog who barked too much, no reason why he could not have gone with them. They then rehomed ANOTHER dog but it was "too difficult" so that dog got rehomed too.
2. Two separate people who live alone in their 60's who both got Labradors but could not manage for various crap reasons (i.e. one working long hours and the other had grandchildren so it was too much commitment).
3. A single person who got a dog despite working long hours, dog was left alone all day and destroyed the house, he got rehomed.

WHY BOTHER GETTING THE DOG?

We adopted a three year old dog from a U.K. rescue. He had been abandoned and found roaming and in a bad state. We have had dogs our whole lives so not new to the whole dog owner thing.

It was a nightmare for the first three months. He was such hard work. And I mean hard work. He was almost impossible to walk, nipped, high energy, weed on the pillows of our bed if we so much as left him alone for ten mins in one room but were still actually at home.
We stuck with him and took loads of advice from a trainer and tried to be consistent. There were so many times I wanted to give him back.
He is now the best dog in the world ever and ten years down the line is a content old man who has been the biggest blessing in our house.

Hang in there if you can. Give the dog loads of reassurance and comfort of routine and accept it is a small frightened young dog who needs time and chance to settle. You could have a lifelong family pet there you just have to keep the faith and understand what a tough start it’s had.

This is the reason UK dog shelters won't rehome their dogs to families with small children and the reason why families should be very careful when rehoming from overseas.

I agree foreign rescues have a whole load of issues but this is a puppy that has come over here from 3 months old ( or younger if I've not read that right) so hardly like an older street dog.

Many of the things do sounds like normal puppy behaviour and tbh even the easiest of puppies needs the new owners to give it most of their time for the first few weeks at a minimum. I was lucky I was able to not work for 1 month when we got our pup to give it the time it needed to train, settle in and bond. Your family don't have enough time at all to even consider a pup from a breeder let alone one who is on its 2nd home already.

All of these behaviours will improve especially the nipping, the howling is likely for attention. But as you don't have the time to give it will just get worse with a very frustrated puppy. I really hope they find a good home soon.

She’s just a baby who has had a lot of change in her life, she has been taken away from everything she has ever known - twice.
Puppies can be really nippy (one of mine was) and they’re really hard work (which I forget until I get another!)
Sounds like you need some boundaries in place - it’s never too early to start with training.
get the puppy training book Easy Peezy, it’s brilliant.
Try her with stuffed kongs, snuffle mats. Use scent games to tire her out. Make sure she is sleeping enough, puppies get very bitey when tired and over stimulated.
a crate or a puppy pen can be helpful. Plus some dogs need to be taught how to settle.
try the natural chews that last a while (they don’t smell great, but keep them occupied and good for teething pups).

if you are absolutely intent on giving her up please put the above in place if you can in the meantime, she needs to learn manners and this will give her a good start in the next home.

I used to live in a country with a lot of street dogs, and a few charities busily exporting them to places like UK, Canada and the States. It's all a bit dodgy.

For one thing, street dogs are NOT like your average lab or spaniel. If we can generalise and say that on the whole, labs make good family dogs because they have been bred for their placid nature - it also holds true to say that street dogs have self-selected to be bloody tough and have a steel streak of self-preservation. I can't count the number of street dogs in taken in as puppies and raised by families who are used to dogs, who ended up biting or attacking people. I know it can happen with any breed, but it's not nearly so common among British pet dogs.

And the people in the charities are volunteers who just get so wrapped up in saving every soul they possibly can from a horrible life on the streets that they lose sight of the fact that not every dog is a great pet, and not every family is right for a dog. They are under-resourced, and living in a bubble, and one more dog 'saved' and sent to a happy life in Canada is a win.

I have had dogs all my life. I had one street dog. She was much harder work than any dog I've ever known. I adored her, she was bright, had ample attention, exercise and enrichment, but honestly she was a bit cracked and I was always on edge with her. She ended up biting both my daughters on the same day. I had her euthanised. It broke my heart but I kind of knew it was coming. I had tried and tried to rehome her or ask for help with her before that and the only solution was to pass her on to another family without admitting that she was a risk. I couldn't do that, and the vets were extremely unwilling to euthanise before she had bitten. Daughters were fine by the way. I would never have a street dog again, and I know many, many other families who say the same.

Dog mumsnet is a full of saintly people who are known for their supportive natures.
The dog doesn’t suit your setting or family. Give it to the man and keep in touch.
The charity is clearly full of saintly mumsnetters who regularly comment on any dog related posts. The dog will be fine in a new home.
The charity need to get a grip. People end up getting puppies rather than rehoming rescues because these places are full of sanctimonious muppets. They should have supported you and the dog better.

God, this thread is depressing.

I didn't post earlier as I read the OP and thought, huh, we had an ex street dog when I was a kid, but his previous home had socialised and trained him well, so I know nothing really and thus have nothing useful to say. All I do know is that a lot of the charities are a bit shit and the dogs can be very, very difficult even if they're young.

OP admits she let her heart rule her head, but she is in a difficult situation and people with no experience of dogs like this have jumped in to give her a kicking. Well done peeps. Have a medal.

Genuinely, hats off to the posters who have given useful and compassionate advice. You know who you are.

Does your husband shut himself away when he’s working? Poor puppy can probably hear him which is why he’s howling he wants to be with him. I now work in the kitchen since I got my dog. Within a couple of days she just sleeps when I’m on long boring calls and we play and cuddle between calls. Your husband needs to be with the puppy all day I’m feeling really sad. The nipping is normal day no and have lots of toys to stick in their mouth instead. Sounds like you can’t be bothered to spend enough time or energy on it

“You know who are”

Honestly bore off. I’m sick of reading these posts from people who adopted a dog five mins ago and suddenly CBA to look after it. It’s not rocket science, of course a young dog like this will have problems. She would suit somebody who is at home most of the time to play and train her. I mean - why would you put a dog in this position if you’re not home and can’t train her?

OP if you haven’t flounced, just give her to the man. What is the charity going to do about it - probably nothing.

You have had the puppy for ten days?

Good to see you have given it a fair chance to settle down.

Take the dog to the blue cross. See what they say. No one is acting responsibly here.

@InGenius

"A british rescue would have hammered home the time and energy required to look after a dog and very probably have turned down the OP.

Then the rescue bashing threads would appear "why dont they rehome to us, why are there no dogs suitable for us with children"

Foreign rescue did not hammer home any facts.........but let an unsuitable homing take "

100% agree with you. I've had experience of both. Many foreign rescues do not have the money or resources to be run as thoroughly as the ones in the UK. It shows.

This.

I genuinely don't know what you thought was going to happen.

Big dog owner here that also went through puppy hell. It's brutal. I was covered in nippy bites from them small knife life teeth.
Fast forward to lots of hard work 1 year on we have a settled very loving & calm big dog.
You aren't cut out for puppy ownership. Takes lot of time, patience & training.
No more dogs got you op. They aren't toys that you should just give away when the going gets tough. Poor pup : (

Touched a nerve, obviously.

I'm sick of this being a board where if you mention using aversion even in a most moderate and considered way to train a dog, you are the scum of the earth, but it's okay to be utterly vile to a poster who is clearly struggling and needs advice from people who know what they are talking about, not judgemental poundshop experts.

Its so much better for the dog if the OP realises quickly that she can't cope.

I had a similar issue with our puppy but booked training classes as soon as I got him. He is now a fantastic family pet. Get a good trainer, put the work in (your dc could get involved) all this could be resolved , your pup is still young enough.

I wish importing dogs from abroad would stop. We have council pounds in this country that kill dogs after seven days if they can't find the owner or a shelter to take them. Bringing foreign dogs into the country just exacerbates this awful situation.
The OP is in a no win situation, the recuse isn't in this country and I'm not surprised they are not interested in taking the dog back.
I wish them luck, maybe the puppy will turn out okay, sweet natured and a joy.

ODFOD.

Yes poor OP, a former dog owner herself who adopted the puppy literally days ago, ignoring any concerns she had. Who never had time to train in the first place, or even play with the poor dog.

Damn right I’m judging people that treat animals like this.