AIBU to think there’s nothing more annoying…

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than a dog licking its bits at midnight when you’re trying to sleep?

Honestly, it drives me insane.

I tell her to stop, she does, all goes quiet, then 2 minutes later slurp, slurp, slurp. Tell her again, she stops……..slurp, slurp, slurp.

I know I’ve made a rod for my own back by allowing her upstairs. Doggo used to be happy sleeping downstairs but she had cruciate ligament surgery a few months ago and had to be confined to a pen which she absolutely hated unless one of us sat in there with her. I had no wish to sleep downstairs in a bloody pen for 8 weeks so she compromised by sleeping in her pen in our room. We haven’t quite renegotiated sleeping arrangements since.

Shes not a licky dog, she doesn’t lick during the day, and her skin, etc, is all fine. I swear she does it just to piss me off.

I find thread titles that are only half a sentence far more annoying.

Mine only licks herself when she is in season (and then it's not excessive). My last dog had incontinence which first presented at night. Maybe worth getting a vet check for yours as the first signs were excessive licking.

Have you checked her anal glands? They caused grim slurping in mine.

Mine does that too. She had a thorough health check a couple of months ago when she donated blood, so I don't think it's a health problem. She just likes to have a good clean before she settles for the night. And yes, it is loud and annoying when you're trying to sleep.

She has been checked over recently. She had a yearly health check a couple of weeks ago as part of a pet club scheme my vet runs. Anal glands and stuff are fine. She also had various blood tests before she had surgery so I don’t think it’s a health issue.

I think she likes to have a bit of a wash before bed.

It’s not particularly excessive, but it’s loud and infuriating and she always starts the minute I turn the bedroom light off.

Mine was doing that at 4am this morning. What makes me grrrrr is that we have a big double bed, she is a pug, and yet she snuggles over to me and then props herself up with her bony arse leg in my back to..... lick, lick, Slurp, slurp, nibble nibble, fart, fart....:)

This really made me laugh OP. So true! Another one here with a pug who loves a good wash and scratch at 3am!!

I wear ear plugs for this very reason. My dog likes to vigorously and noisily attend to her vulva just as I'm drifting off to sleep.

Haha licking sounds don't annoy me, it's the sound of the dog walking about on the hard floor that does it for me 🙈 like just sit the F down!

I feel sick now.

Thanks for the reminder to never ever have a dog despite really loving them. 😁

My dobermann bitch used to hop up onto her armchair and start just as I'd be watching TV. I'd tell her to stop, she'd look at me as if to say F off and just go back to it. I often ended up going to bed to get away from that dreadful noise. Still miss her though, she's almost two years gone and the house just isn't the same without her despite having another dobermann, a whippet and two 'haven't a clue what they are' possibly collie/King Charles mix. They are all male but never made such noise as she did.

Yes! I love my dog but fucking hell the licking does my head in

Glopping! Drives me BONKERS lol. I swear it is the single loudest noise in the whole world 😂😂😂

I’m glad it’s not just me - well, I’m not but you know what I mean.

I’d actually rather listen to DH snoring than bloody licking.

She usually sleeps in her bed on the floor, but sometimes hops up if I’m in bed before DH. She’ll then lay on his pillow, using whatever bit of me is in range (my face) as leverage to reach round and lick her bits. She is very quickly kicked off.

I love her to bits, but dear god.

We had a boy previously and I don’t remember him being quite as annoying

Hmm not sure about the snoring. Doesn’t matter how many times I thump him, he still does it. At least dear doggo gets the message and pipes down lol 😜