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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Is there any coming back from our dogs fighting or do we need to rehome one?

65 replies

WellThatsNice · 21/11/2023 14:32

We have a nearly 11 year old dog who we've had since a pup, and two years ago we adopted an 8 month old rescue, who is twice our older dog's size.

Initially they got on well, but then one day, something happened, possibly triggered by food, and the new dog attacked the older one. We broke it up but it was terrifying, it wasn't a friendly play fight, it looked like it might have been a fight to the death to be honest.

We've tried everything since then, we worked with a trainer on how to get them to co-exist alongside each other, how to make the rescue less anxious, but nothing seems to work and sporadically they will get into fights with each other and it's never any less terrifying.

The rescue is an absolutely lovely, intelligent but anxious girl who clearly wasn't socialised at all before she came to us, and whilst she's fine with just us, as soon as anyone comes to the house she's a nightmare, and she's also pretty awful out on the street if she doesn't like the look of someone (and there doesn't seem to be any sort of reason as to why she'll take offence and some people and not others.) The last two years have been incredibly stressful, as we're always having to be hypervigilant about where the dogs are in relation to each other, it's almost impossible to have guests as she is very aggressive towards them, which is awful for everyone involved.

Things have come to a head in the last couple of days - we've had some time away with just the rescue dog, and I don't know if that's made her feel like the only dog in the world and more territorial, but in the last 24 hours she's gone to attack a dog three times - when we visited family (in a house where she's previously spent time, and is comfortable) and was only stopped as we'd kept her on the lead (but she wasn't scared, this dog is small, so it was almost like prey drive.) Then in the 12 hours since we all got home and had both dogs back together she's gone for our older dog twice, so the frequency is really on the up all of a sudden.

I don't know what the reason is, but I worry we don't have time to work through it with another behaviourist before something awful happens; I'm so anxious that it's just a matter of time before she really damages our older dog (or worse), and potentially my teenage boys who will often dive in to seperate them. Older dog now has a shit quality of life as he's just terrifed all of the time, and I can't see a way round it other than to very reluctantly rehome the rescue.

The thought is devastating, as we all love her to pieces, but life is incredibly difficult trying to manage all of this on top of everything else and we're at our wits' end. We could speak to the charity about it, but I'm a bit wary as they tend to publically shame people on Facebook who rehome dogs - not that that should impact our decision, and no one can say that we haven't tried incredibly hard in the face of what seem to be insurmountable challenges. I expect they'll tell us to work with a vet/behaviourist, but financially we're struggling and if we throw more money that we don't have at this situation and it still doesn't resolve, what then?

Sorry for the absolutely enormous ramble and thank you for reading this far. I don't know if anyone has any experience of turning around a fear aggressive dog in a situation like this, or do we need to accept that she needs to be in a house where she is the only dog? 💔

OP posts:
SpringMeadows · 21/11/2023 14:42

Have you taken her to your vet to check she's not in any pain and short-fused as a result? Also, do you socialise your rescue? Actively and regularly? Maybe daycare once or twice a week? A good behaviorist will come to your home and show you how to handle any 'spat' between your dogs. Something has clearly changed for your rescue and attacking your other dog is a sign she isn't happy either to an extent.

So I'd say vet urgently, and then a behaviorist who will come to your home. Where are you based? I may be able to recommend someone.

Original poster
WellThatsNice · 21/11/2023 14:52

Thank you - we'll book her in with the vets but I don't think it's anything physical. We did have a behaviourist to the house, but unfortunately it was limited help, some of the time they'll co-exist in the same room for a bit but we always have to be with them and vigilant, and that can be very exhausting. I can look into getting another appointment asap, but we're limited money wise at the moment and it isn't cheap.

At this point we're just feeling incredibly guilty about our older dog, who now has a heart murmur and is too terrified of her to walk past her so stays behind a chair most of the day, it's just awful. 😔

OP posts:
SpringMeadows · 21/11/2023 15:06

I understand - we've been through something similar. We still need to be careful not to get them too hyper/excited because one of them may turn on the other when that happens but grasping the 'attacker' by the collar, a loud and firm 'no', and putting them in 'time out' in another room, away from everyone, can help with time. Do you exercise your rescue enough? Could it be that she has pent up energy? Does she attack at particular times of the day, for example?

Bippitybobbityboing · 21/11/2023 16:15

At this point we're just feeling incredibly guilty about our older dog, who now has a heart murmur and is too terrified of her to walk past her so stays behind a chair most of the day, it's just awful. 😔

Honestly then yes you need to rehome one, either keep the rescue and foster the older dog with a close family member or friend so you could still see and walk him daily.

Or rehome the younger rescue dog who sounds like she really needs to be an only dog.

This is such a sad situation and as pp said a full vets check first to see if anything medical is wrong. Then, though, this situation is horrible for everybody including both dogs who sound very stressed.

PocketSand · 21/11/2023 16:53

You need to show loyalty to the dog you have had for over a decade at the end of their life. At the moment they are scared and miserable.

Floralnomad · 21/11/2023 17:05

Is there anyway you can just keep them separate . I know it’s not ideal but my mum did that with her dogs and an indoor cat for several years , they both had certain hours when they were in the main lounge and when the cat was in the main house the dogs were in the kitchen / garden and in the evening when the dogs came into the main lounge the cat was shut in the dining room / conservatory. It worked quite well . WRT fights , we did have a brother sister ( yes I know ) JRT x border and they had a couple of mammoth fights for absolutely no apparent reasons - blood drawn , people bitten separating them etc but it only happened a couple of times in 18 yrs and on the whole they loved each other , which sounds different to your dogs .

margotrose · 21/11/2023 17:09

Please rehome her.

The thought of your older dog spending its life hiding behind a chair just makes me want to cry.

ShufflingHedgehogs · 21/11/2023 17:19

OP - have you posted about this before. The ages and backgrounds are similar. Not trying to catch you out, but a reread of that thread may show you how this is an ongoing problem with these dogs (if that is you).

This is just the latest escalation and, in your shoes, I would whine the younger dog somewhere they can be happy and let your older one live out their days in peace.

ShufflingHedgehogs · 21/11/2023 17:19

Rehome. Not whine!

BeansOnToast32 · 21/11/2023 17:43

You need to rehome the younger dog, I feel desperately sad for your old dog. It won't be doing his/her heart very good being constantly on edge waiting to be attacked.

Old dog needs to live out the remainder of their life knowing they are safe, loved and happy.

legolandlovers · 21/11/2023 17:56

You need to revoke the younger dog. How awful for your older dog living in fear in its own home. How would you like to live in fear of your life everyday in your own home?!

Newstaronthehorizon · 21/11/2023 17:57

Muzzle the rescue until rehomed.

needtonamechangeforthis1 · 21/11/2023 18:07

Ok so my first port of call would be the vet. Make sure there is absolutely nothing physical going on. My first instinct is the rescue dog is in pain. I'd ask about doing a pain trial.

Keep them separate all the time. Baby gates and shut doors as necessary. Do what you need to do to keep them both safe.

I would strongly recommend getting a behaviourist on board one who uses force free methods. If you can't afford a behaviourist then consider joining dog geeks on Facebook it's run by 3 amazing behaviourists who will be able to help.

Stop taking the rescue out so much. They sound like they are massively stressed which is why they are lashing out. Keep them home and somewhere safe for the next week. No walks let them start to decompress. Look up trigger stacking in dogs. If you want any chance of keeping them both then they need to destress.

SkyFullofStars1975 · 21/11/2023 18:08

Have you talked to your vet about medication for the younger one? We've used dog prozac for ours in the past when going on holiday etc as she's so incredibly anxious and she is very hostile to other dogs when she's stressed. Most of the time we manage well at home with nutri-paw calming tablets.

caringcarer · 21/11/2023 18:24

Can you keep the dogs in separate rooms? I'd protect my older dog by rehoming the bigger dog if I could. Or ask a family member to take him whilst your older gog is still alive. As dog is 11 it might only be a year or 2.

IngGenius · 21/11/2023 18:34

Please see a qualified behaviourist. It will cost money but it may be a matter of life or death. Many insurance policies will cover this.

A qualified behaviourist would have insisted on a detailed vet check including bloods and urine tests.

Once you have a qualified behaviourist on board they will help you make the correct decisions for your household and dogs

GiveOverRover · 21/11/2023 18:40

Vet, and then a behaviourist that specialises in reactive dogs. Do your research and speak to a few to get a feel for them. Check your insurance, it may cover a behaviourist.

In the meantime, get baby gates without delay and use your internal doors. You need to advocate for both of your dogs, your elder one needs you to create safe space and you will have to do that with physical barriers until things improve.

jlpth · 21/11/2023 18:41

PocketSand · 21/11/2023 16:53

You need to show loyalty to the dog you have had for over a decade at the end of their life. At the moment they are scared and miserable.

I have to agree with this

Gingerkittykat · 21/11/2023 19:31

Are you the same person who posted before? I seem to remember one dog spent a lot of time shut in a bedroom.

You know you need to rehome the younger dog if anyone will take it.

Original poster
WellThatsNice · 26/11/2023 12:41

Thank you everyone for the advice, it's much appreciated. I may have posted two years ago (although I can't remember, and can't find the thread if I did!), but we have never kept either dog in a bedroom. We do keep them separate from each other as far as is possible though, and always have done.

Having spoken to the charity I'm not sure what on earth we do from here. We signed a contract to say that the dog would only go back to them, we can't rehome in any other way without their permission. However, they're currently swamped with people doing exactly the same thing and we're looking at about a year before they can take her. This doesn't seem fair but I'm not sure what we can really do if that's the situation?

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 26/11/2023 13:39

@WellThatsNice if they can’t take the dog in a timely fashion then they need to allow you to do something else or come up with a different solution . It’s ridiculous.

angel1977 · 26/11/2023 13:46

Why is this even a discussion? Get it PTS FFS before it bites someone trying to separate fighting dogs.
Lifes too short. Both dogs are miserable. You can NEVER relax in their company in your own house never mind anyone else's.
Don't pass the problems to someone else. Sometimes the hardest thing is the best thing for the dog.

Original poster
WellThatsNice · 26/11/2023 13:54

I think even if we wanted to do that the contract says we can only return her to the charity, so in theory they could sue us…

OP posts:
twinkletoesimnot · 26/11/2023 13:55

WellThatsNice · 26/11/2023 12:41

Thank you everyone for the advice, it's much appreciated. I may have posted two years ago (although I can't remember, and can't find the thread if I did!), but we have never kept either dog in a bedroom. We do keep them separate from each other as far as is possible though, and always have done.

Having spoken to the charity I'm not sure what on earth we do from here. We signed a contract to say that the dog would only go back to them, we can't rehome in any other way without their permission. However, they're currently swamped with people doing exactly the same thing and we're looking at about a year before they can take her. This doesn't seem fair but I'm not sure what we can really do if that's the situation?

No doubt charging money to take it back and then re homing to an unsuitable home - for a fee, then charging to take it back again.......

Everyone says get a rescue dog but this is why I wouldn't. Some rescues are immoral, inhumane money making schemes. Just dreadful

twinkletoesimnot · 26/11/2023 13:58

My parents had similar but it was the old, grumpy little terrier who kept going after the larger dog.
In the end they were not allowed together, unless walking on leads, and had turns at being in the living room with family alternating with being in another area of the house.
This was tricky in a quiet house with2 adults who had little else to think about. I imagine it would be very difficult with more people / teenagers in a busier house.