Dog bit DP :(

[Dogbitdp]

Am upset but DP seems to be overreacting. PTS not going to happen so just wanted a bit of advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation.

Dog was in the garden last night pissing about probably trying to eat cat shit etc. He said she wouldn't come in, so he went to grab her from behind and she turned and snapped/bit him on the hand 😔 skin broken, about 3 puncture wounds but its not as bad as it could have been.

I was a bit shocked when he told me this morning but not hugely surprised- she sometimes hurts her leg as she loves to run, and she was moping a bit yesterday, but the main issue she has currently is a cyst type thing that keeps filling up and swelling, then it will go. It must be painful when it does that as she does have a go at it, and I noticed yesterday it had flared up again. Vet keeps saying that he wouldn't recommend removing it until it really causes problems (think we're there now!)

He said hes not sure about her now but his main concern seems to be that "I've never been bit by one of MY dogs before". He is generally arrogant anyway tbh so im certain his pride is hurt more.

I get it, I'd be upset, but I don't think he's considering that there were about 4 factors at play- it was dark, he approached her from behind so surprised her, and her leg and/or this cyst was probably hurting (cyst is right where your hand would be if you were to grab her from behind).

Hes now said if she does it again she's dead. Doesnt care if there's a reason for it. When I said ill get her checked out and push now to have this thing removed he just shrugged.

Hes also a bit of a drama queen anyway and does exaggerate, but as I say he is very much "im right everyone else is wrong". I'm actually really worried now the next time she so much as barks he might exaggerate....I'm not even sure hes not exaggerating now about how it happened 😔

Shes never done this before or showed any signs of aggression at all. We do have two teen DC, one of whom has a real strong bond with her. She's so gentle and loving, I feel really bad for her tbh.

So vet next week but in the meantime I'll be on edge whenever dp is left alone with her. He loves her but tbh not as much as our last dog. Suspect this is because our last dog was very much 'his', whereas our current dog is definitely more aligned to me (used to be funny but inside I do think that gets to him).

And the vast majority of the people who want XL bullies killed on sight are the dog haters.

More rational people are happy with the ban and existing bullies to be kept on leads and muzzled in public until they've lived out their natural life span.

Sounds like something many dogs would have done, startled in the dark and she was feeling under the weather anyway. In this country there seems to be a belief that dogs should never growl and never snap or communicate any normal canine behaviour . Of course im not saying having a dog that snaps or growls regularly is normal, its not, but they are animals and its normal for then to communicate on occasion like this.

I agree and I didn't say there wasn't a difference but I believe that if OP said this dog was an XL bully, the responses would be different.

This isn't something that should be forgotten and just moved on from. It's incredibly serious.

Yes they are or certainly don't understand dogs. It's really upsetting and frustrating for me.

Something happened that night and it wasn’t just grabbing. I too am concerned that he is abusive to this dog.

His statement that she’ll be dead if she does it again even if she has a reason is very worrying. This is not a normal reaction to your family pet nipping in pain. He doesn’t give a shit about that dog.

I'm willing to bet your partner down played what he did to your dog.

Keep the dog (and take her to the vets) and dump your untrained partner.

@BeMoreBarbie

But a dog lashing out at someone who is hurting it after the warning was ignored is no indication that it is going to bite a child. If someone treated me the way OP's partner did, I'd lash out too. That doesn't mean I am going to start running around randomly punching people afterwards. It just means I reacted in an understandable way to someone harming me. Dogs are not robots. They have pain receptors and emotions too.

I am not a dog owner and I don't ever want to be, could never really see the point.

But, I grew up with dogs (on a farm) and it was ingrained that you never approach a dog from behind! I just can't understand why your partner did this particularly when he knew your dog was sick with painful cysts!?. It sounds like he got frustrated when the dog wouldn't come in but he should never have acted in this idiotic way. How didn't he know not to do this?

Ultimately, I feel sorry for the dog, the dog reacted as any dog in pain would do. Your partner is being very unreasonable and if I was you would like to know why?

Cat not dog but anyway
stroked my cat on the shoulder and he went to bite me in a full on attack mode
The first thing I did was take him to the vet as this was totally out of character. She lifted him up and he spat at her and she said "oh this isn't him is it" and as she moved him, a massive hidden abscess on his shoulder exploded

If that had been a dog would people really PTS? He was in pain and I touched the abscess

Would you all say the same if the dog bit a child?!

Yes I would, but I have taught my children to respect dogs as the animals they are, they wouldn't have grabbed the dog from behind and would have backed away if it growled, certainly not gone for another go ! If my children can follow basic common sense rules, I think your average adult could ?

It is also entirely possible that it was giving him an air snap warning and he kept grabbing instead of pulling back and giving it some space. It is entirely his fault she bit him and I would be very concerned about him going forward. He sounds like hard work.

If it's lashed out because it's already in pain and now has a change in personality because of this pain - taking the husband at his word with OP mentioning cysts- then it could be an indicator and the professionals need to be involved.

The husband’s words were that he grabbed the dog, the dog growled (which is where he should have listened to her and let go), he kept on pulling at her and she snapped at him. Any dog could/would do that. It doesn’t mean that it is a ‘change in personality’, it means that the dog reacted to a frightening and painful stimulus at the time that it was happening.

The two professionals I would be involving at this point would be a vet to sort out the cyst and a divorce lawyer to get rid of the abusive man. I wonder if he manhandles or intimidates the children in a similar fashion - I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest. This is not a case for an animal behaviourist, who would rightly say that the dog reacted as expected in the circumstances.

@BeMoreBarbie

Once the pain is addressed, it will very most probably be fine. It was surprised, and the way it was grabbed would have left it in a lot of pain. Lashing out when in pain is pretty much instinctual in any animal's nature, including humans, especially when warnings are ignored.

Again, whether I like dp has no relevance here to what actually happened. And im not being particularly empathetic because at the start I bloody knew there would be more to it (and, in a way, less, given his history of constant dramatics).

And of course I've not been biased over the events that happened, if I want advice or opinions what would being biased achieve?

No I don't know for sure that it wasn't pain from the cyst, but given it was ballooned up that morning, she'd been going at it, she was moping about and not lying on her side all day, and the cyst is literally where a giant man hand would be, I dont think Poirot is needed here to suss out what happened 🙄

Ah sorry can see this thread has gone a bit daft 😬 now I've read on.

Don't want to kick it off again and hopefully won't but as people took the time to reply I just wanted to give a (boring) update.

There's been no change in behaviour at all that warrants some sort of panic "we need professionals", a one off issue caused by an absolute muppet of a man isn't a change in behaviour. She will be going to the vet and the 99% probable cause sorting, the remaining 1% being dealt with by said idiot learning his lesson.

Last night was like it never happened considering DP was going on about never being able to trust her again, hes not sure about her , "MY dogs don't ever bite ME", his crushed and nearly ripped off hand etc. She's fine, once again the cyst has flattened into almost nothing for the next 2 weeks as usual, i was doing a lot of poking and handling her in that area to check for pain and she was fine. Lots of cuddles and playing with us and sleeping on me etc. And I heard him let her out last night so was on edge and looked out the window but she went in fine when he called her, so suspect it was bloody fox poo that had her attention, or cat poo but likely fox given given her refusal to come away from it 🤢 so we definitely need to keep up with checking the garden for that regularly!

Good update op. ☺️ looks like you've got A1 clear vision to me.

@Dogbitdp very sensible attitude

So your dog was that ill and you didn’t take it to the vets - so much pain that it bit your partner and you’ve come on here to moan about it?! Seriously!
If you think it’s fine, then it’s fine for you. The fact that you slated your partners personality for a few paragraphs suggests that you don’t like him and have come to your own conclusions which is all you can do when you didn’t see something happen.
your dog bit him, you think it’s fine, end of story.
I disagree with a dog biting anyone and breaking the skin. I am allowed to feel that way. You don’t have to agree. I just hope that you get the issue sorted properly and that it never bites anyone else that you actually care about! You might feel differently then.

@ZebraD

OP has been seeking vet treatment but vet doesn't recommend removing the cust at this time. Sometimes it takes a little while and trial and error with treatments before a recovery can take place, like with humans.

And how do you know she is just guessing what happened? Oh yes. You don't know that. You are guessing that her DP didn't come in from the garden and tell her in his own words how he approached and grabbed the dog.

Stop. Seriously, just stop.

He sounds awful. He has no empathy or understanding of the dog which was startled and potentially in pain. He has no respect for your feelings and seems quite happy to make you stressed, unhappy and on tenterhooks that he might make a move to have your dog put down. If my DH was threatening me and my dog in that way, he would have crossed a line I don't think he could come back from.