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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Another failed match

97 replies

TakeBackTheCity · 25/08/2023 20:53

DH and I have always wanted a dog, we both had family dogs growing up.

I contacted a local dog rescue centre which has a foster to adopt scheme. We're just about to return our 3rd dog. Are we just not cut out for dog ownership?

The first dog was hugely reactive towards other dogs, and showed no improvement 6 months on. It was making my life a misery and she wasn't happy. She was rehomed to a remote farm, happy now, get updates which is lovely.

Second dog had horrendous separation anxiety, total velcro dog, couldn't be left for 1 second. The rehoming center's behaviourist said it was the worst case she'd seen, the dog was re-homed now to a retired lady who dotes on her 24/7.

I thought I knew exactly what we were looking for this time, but this third dog is isn't a good match either - he has unfortunately shown possessiveness and aggression at a level way beyond my skillset. The rescue centre have a more experienced foster home for his breed lined up for him.

We've loved each dog, happily toilet trained them, followed positive reinforcement training, read so many books and joined groups for advice etc

Shall I give up :(

My friend who didn't do research or think too much about it just adopted a rescue and it's been a perfect dog, I can't help but be so envious of how easy it's been for her, when I feel I've worked so hard for nothing.

OP posts:

WinterFireJanuaryEmbers · 28/08/2023 09:16

Then I'd definitely look at another rescue - this one is clearly not working for you or the dogs.

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 14:26

This thread makes me nervous

OP - what did you do?

Original poster

TakeBackTheCity · 31/08/2023 14:41

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 14:26

This thread makes me nervous

OP - what did you do?

I had a good chat with the charity and I decided to not foster/adopt again. It's been very stressful to be honest, and I'm hugely looking forward to being able to have friends and family visit again, and be able to leave the house.

It's such a shame because I have a lot to give, I'm really active, and lots of time and patience but I've lost confidence and I'm not nearly experienced enough to confidently handle extreme issues and every dog seems to have an issue with other dogs, or has to kept away from strangers, or fear-aggression issues, or resource guarding, or separation anxiety...and not just a 'bit' but all extreme.

I know people say dogs are good for mental health etc but I can't say it's been the opposite!

OP posts:

DailyDriver · 31/08/2023 14:52

Do you live near a guide dog centre? I'm hoping to foster for them when we no longer have dogs of our own as we won't want to take on another 15 year commitment.

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 15:59

Well done op

right call

you wouldn’t consider a puppy for a very well respected breeder?

Original poster

TakeBackTheCity · 31/08/2023 17:33

DailyDriver · 31/08/2023 14:52

Do you live near a guide dog centre? I'm hoping to foster for them when we no longer have dogs of our own as we won't want to take on another 15 year commitment.

I honestly couldn't do it - all the very very hard work of a puppy, training and then off they go.

The idea was having a dog to keep as I did want a long term commitment...

OP posts:

Original poster

TakeBackTheCity · 31/08/2023 17:35

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 15:59

Well done op

right call

you wouldn’t consider a puppy for a very well respected breeder?

No, we definitely wanted an adult dog and not a puppy, although I can see why people give up on the idea of a difficult rescue dog and get a puppy as the risk seems a lot less!

OP posts:

stayathomer · 31/08/2023 17:56

If you are keen on rescue what about a retired greyhound, they are often lovely , you can get cat friendly ones and don't come with a lot of baggage.
Does the op have a cat? If not, yes would so recommend greyhounds, if she does the chances of finding one that doesn’t chase cats - well it would be difficult, of course not impossible but very very difficult.

Freysimo · 01/09/2023 07:01

stayathomer · 31/08/2023 17:56

Our lurcher was scared of our cat, and never had chase instinct, not usual though I know. I would second a greyhound OP but can understand you've been bruised by your experience. In time, what about being a volunteer dog walker for the Cinnamon Trust (I am)? They often have dogs for adoption as well. Give yourself time.

Newpeep · 01/09/2023 08:13

You’ve got such a lot to offer. As long as you can be with a pup for the first few months (or arrange care) then really they are not puppies for long.

I REALLY didn’t want a puppy. Adamantly. It was our only way after two years of being turned down by rescues. Ours has just turned one and has a way to go to be a dog but I can see the benefits of a puppy if you’ve got a lot of time and knowledge. She’s lovely. Yes a HUGE amount of work but it’s not unenjoyable. I’d always prefer rescue but I’d buy again if I was in the position I had to.

Definitelyrandom · 01/09/2023 09:14

If you do reconsider, OP, as numerous posters have said, try a retired greyhound - from a breed specific rehoming charity, not the Dogs Trust or the one you’ve used before. You’d get properly matched with what you’re looking for and your home situation and have lots of opportunities to walk various hounds to see how you get on. You do get the odd spook or reactive hound, but the charity will have spotted these and should tell you.

As a family that had never had dogs before, we were perfectly matched with a people and other dog friendly 34kg male (I was looking for a small female…..) who has been an indispensable part of our lives for 3 years.

mrstea301 · 01/09/2023 09:19

Have you looked at greyhounds? They're great dogs to rescue, as often they are being regimes simply because they've aged out of racing. They make great pets and are very affectionate!

Lollygaggle · 01/09/2023 09:34

Repeat what someone else has said .... greyhound. Most rescues will do fostering and providing you are happy with the restrictions many, but not all , greyhounds will have eg no small furries in house and no letting off lead in unsecured areas , they are a joy.
We have both fostered and failed fostered (kept the dog) and most greyhound rescues are desperate for foster ears.
Ex racers will need gentle introduction to homes and socialising , they normally pick up toilet training very quickly but they are the least demanding ,most gentle dogs ever. Most will already be well lead trained .
Lurchers are lovely as well , a bit more lively but saluki lurchers have a mind of their own with non existent recall and a whats in it for me attitude to training.

Lollygaggle · 01/09/2023 09:41

Forgot to say the only downside to greyhounds is the greyhound "scream of death" . They have no pain threshold . One day I heard a noise that sounded like my grey was being skinned alive. She had fallen into our shallow pond and got wet. 30 minutes later, many warm fluffy towels , sitting in front of the fire the noise finally stopped. Sometimes it will start if one of their legs goes to sleep (they sleep in very strange positions but always on the furniture) or if they catch a toe , or sometimes just if they think they might have got hurt. Otherwise they are very quiet. Some will not bark at all .

hellinahandcart700 · 01/09/2023 09:43

Its not you, its the dogs. Not your fault at all OP.

Layinwait · 01/09/2023 10:58

TakeBackTheCity · 31/08/2023 17:35

No, we definitely wanted an adult dog and not a puppy, although I can see why people give up on the idea of a difficult rescue dog and get a puppy as the risk seems a lot less!

Show quote history

Why definitely not a puppy out of interest?

Layinwait · 01/09/2023 10:59

hellinahandcart700 · 01/09/2023 09:43

Its not you, its the dogs. Not your fault at all OP.

It’s not the OP
It’s not the dog

it is a poor rescue centre repeatedly misunderstanding

CarriePT · 01/09/2023 11:06

Get a puppy.
Rescue dogs, as wonderfully virtuous as it is, come with the baggage of every shit bit of ownership from before.

YouJustDoYou · 01/09/2023 11:10

I really don't agree with people who say you must never, ever give a dog back - sometimes the dog needs different circumstances completely, like the examples you mentioned and how much happier the dogs were in their new, much more fitting homes. We had a rescue who allowed us to adopt a dog we were UTTERLY not right for - they completely mis-described the dog, and they admitted later they just wanted him rehomed.

Layinwait · 01/09/2023 11:16

YouJustDoYou · 01/09/2023 11:10

Has anyone on this thread said that? 😐

Undisclosedlocation · 01/09/2023 11:20

It sounds as if you would be better off looking direct at adopting a dog which is currently in a foster home and has been assessed by someone in a home environment already (assuming you haven’t been out off for good of course) ……personally I’d swerve the rescue you’ve been dealing with so far, they’ve not been fair to either you or the 3 dogs they’ve sent you imo. Placing dogs into an unsuitable foster home is of no help to anyone, including the dogs!
Many Tears is definitely one large charity who does this, but I’m sure many others do too

ScattyHattie · 01/09/2023 14:35

I don't think much to the rescue as they've clearly not listened to what you wanted to have assumed you were happy to foster any needy dog. You've done great job as a fosterer but the first could've completely put you off adopting at all.
When I have fostered dogs in the past the rescue already had reasonable profile of what the dog was like so they knew it would likely fit in my home and be within my experience capabilities. It's likely if it was stray rather than owner intake some things they may be unable to assess in kennels so would be uncertainties, such as separation anxiety if ok with other dogs around or maybe specific resource guarding as for safety they're less likely to be given high value items or eat with people/dogs around. However dog reactivity is usually fairly easy to test so could've warned you about that.

i would look for rescues that either only uses foster homes or if kennel based uses short term home fosters with rescue owner/volunteers that way someone has already done a more comprehensive assessment to find a suitable match for your needs. Plenty smaller rescues will adopt out of county or nationwide and may use volunteers help transport dog to your home. While I follow some great Spanish Galgo & Podenco rescues that work with back up in UK, foreign dog rescue can be bit a minefield and can be higher risks of unsuitability so maybe easier to just avoid those.

If you give rough location of county and type of dog your looking for maybe we can help find you some to consider.

I love greyhounds and lurchers, with a soft spot for chunky chops staffie/bull mixes

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