Negatives of having a dog

[Sleepdeprived42long]

So, we are considering getting a dog to join our family which is currently me, DH, DS11 and DS9. I’ve had cats my whole life but not dogs. DH and DS11 are most keen but I’m definitely not against the idea!

We’ve had some bad luck with pets in the past so I really want us to make this decision with our eyes open not just to the positives (which we know) but also the negatives.

Just by way of background-if we did go with a dog, would probably dog like cockapoo/cavapoo or similar. We both WFH and enjoy family walks-we don’t see this changing in the next few years. We do sometimes go out for whole days at the weekend (although normally to the beach or similar) and go on holiday quite a lot (4-5 times a year for at least 2-3 nights but sometimes up to 10 nights). We could afford a dog but would have to make sacrifices on other luxuries (possibly a holiday or two!). My mental health isn’t great-I struggle with anxiety and depression at times.

So, for those of you who have dogs, can you tell me your honest negatives of dog ownership?

The tie of having to get back for them, guilt of leaving them, arranging holidays etc.

Cost - vets etc, it all adds up

Personality - you simply do not know what temperament you will get. Mine is very anxious and jumpy. She can’t cope in pubs or social places. You love them regardless but you won’t necessarily get what you want.

A note on cockapoos- Relative got a cockapoo as wanted medium sized dog. Turns out her poodle genes are incredibly strong and she looks part horse aka is ginormous! You aren’t guaranteed a medium sized dog with them!

And this. I sounded hard in my last post but the end is always terribly sad. They are part of your family.

This is exactly how I felt about my dog, she was our world and our whole life revolved on making her life as happy as possible, there is no love like it, the joy and love she brought to us was immeasurable and outweighed every negative stated on here, however her illness and then death absolutely devastated me and 14 weeks later it’s still so hard.

The only negative for me is coming home from a long rainy walk, or a walk near water (it's like a magnet to him) with a wet, smelly spaniel. I'd love to just take off my coat and wellies, wash my hands and put the kettle on. But I have to first dry him, or wash and dry him, then get changed (because doing that seems to transfer the smell/dirt/water onto me), so I might as well have a shower and it can be an hour before I've a mug of hot something in my cold pink hands. It's not an issue in the summer, and it's a small price to pay for the joy of having him in our home. We're a family of 6 (four teenagers) and we all adore him.

Like others have said, they are a tie.
Their needs must be met before anything else- you are ill, tired, worn out? Dog still needs that walk.
It's cold dark and wet! Dog still needs that walk.
You want to go out with colleagues after work, stay a bit longer at a party or extend a trip with a stop over - your dog is waiting for you!

Oh yeah and then after 12-15 years of everything revolving around the dog, you have to say goodbye... and your whole life will collapse.

LadyVictoriaSponge, You're right; of all the negatives, that's the only one that's of any real consequence. All of the rest are minor inconveniences, but illness and saying goodbye is heartbreaking, and I'm sorry for your loss.

Make sure you look at how much exercise the breed you choose needs. That should be part of your decision. Fitting in a long walk every day can be challenging.

I didn't read most replies so probably said but what do you do with the dog when you go on holiday?

Thank you @SidekickSylvia

All houses have some kind of smell, regardless of whether there are pets, children, etc.

I agree with TahitianSummer. Every home has its own smell; some smell overwhelmingly of Airwick and fabric conditioner and to me that’s horrible.

For the most part, my dogs smell lovely to me, and when they don’t they get washed/ brushed / whatever to get rid of the stench.

On the MH aspect, we got a puppy and I found it very hard for the first few weeks, almost like baby blues. Our breeder didn't believe in vaccinations so rookiepup couldn't go out for walks for the first four weeks and had to have someone at home with him apart from the odd 5-10 minutes to build up against separation anxiety.

Also sometimes your pup will not behave. People judge you when you have a dog - you just have to read the dog house here to get that, again like having a baby.

DH was the main instigator of getting rookiedog and he does most of the grunt work, but I tend to organise holiday cover as I'm better with people.

I love rookiedog but I wouldn't get another one. You could try holiday sitting for someone else's ddog and see how that works for you before committing.

Don’t discount a rescue dog. I’ve adopted more than 30 over the years and whilst yes, some do have issues, in my experience, the majority don’t. Our latest adoptee is an 8 year old mutt. Come from an awful situation of neglect, but she’s golden! Perfect recall, affectionate, clean in the house, non destructive, never shown a hint of aggression with people or animals. The one before that is 6, also a mutt. Despite suffering horrendous physical abuse, including starvation to the point of near death, she is the friendliest, happiest girl you could ever imagine. I could go on and on. A decent rescue will do a full assessment of the dog and will be able to match one with your family and lifestyle.
Also, before you decide to buy, have a look at Many Tears rescue. I’m not suggesting for one minute you adopt from them, but they specialise in taking on ex breeding dogs. They are a fantastic rescue and do a comprehensive work up and assessment on each dog. They have literally hundreds, of all different breeds. Read the assessments. ALL of those dogs are terrified. Most are 6 or older, have never even been in a house, been for a walk, are petrified of human touch, and are so shut down that it takes months or years to bring them to a point where they can live any where near a “normal” life. Obviously I wouldn’t recommend a dog from them to an inexperienced owner, but that unfortunately IS the reality for a lot of breeding dogs.

The biggest negative for me is how tying they are. We can't do full days out unless we arrange for someone to have the dogs/nip in and see them halfway through the day. We've just been on holiday without them and honestly the best part was being able to leave the house in the morning and keep the kids out til nearly bedtime.

Also vets bills, although that's true of any pet. Make sure you have decent insurance.

Research the breed as much as possible, and don't underestimate how much damage a puppy of any breed can cause to your house. Chewed carpets, ripped wallpaper, plenty of wees and poos in places you don't want. Our second dog also didn't sleep through the night until he was 6 months old, he was like having a baby!

They can be a lovely addition and all the walking and meeting fellow dog walkers is great for Mh, but I cannot stress enough how much of a tie they can be to your life.

Any party, gathering, popping to shops basically anything you cannot be gone long, they will bark, howl as they’re lonely and possibly upset neighbours as it can be incessant and unfair to their quality of life (I speak from having a dog, then not and now to having one). It’s about being a responsible dog owner.

You have to factor in costs for people that will come and walk your dog if you go out for a long day and kennels or home stays if you go on holiday (if you can take them away with you where possible). Sometimes friends may help but don’t assume, factor in the cost to be safe.

Be prepared friends and family will not like them coming to their house even if they have a dog, only take them if they’re invited - and here it pays to discipline from an early age if you want people to accept your dog into their home, smaller dogs cavapoos cavachons etc are lovely nature but cheeky and on the furniture all the time.

insurance, vet bills etc, get good recall with your dogs if you plan to let off lead, at parks some dog owners keep their dogs on leads and will become cross if your dog runs up to them - this is the same for walkers and kids (fair enough there), if your area is busy enquire about dog only walking places - there are a few and are handy. As you wfh it will really pay off to get a good control with discipline from an early age. Too many people get dogs then go out to work and have a hectic social life the dogs have little to no training or discipline, so are nice enough but have zero boundaries.

sounds like you’re thinking ahead which is excellent, I wish you all the very best time.

I love my dog of course but I do sometimes wish I didnt get him. Its relentless thankless hard work! We had dogs as kids but I clearly didnt appreciate how much it took to look after one. We have a Cockapoo, great nature but full of energy, could walk forever which sounds great but like others said not when you are trying to fit in general family life like school runs work taking kids to activities. If anything I found it had a negative effect on me personally having a dog. Just added stress to my life! Feel like hubby and I always now taking a dog for walk while other on activity drop off. Kids really wanted a dog but this one is really strong so the younger one cant take him out. The oldest promised to walk it etc - daily battles to take him out for 20mins. We have employed a dog walker to walk him in the mornings to ease a bit of the pressure but that comes at a cost.
I heard a story about a family whose kids went on and on for a dog so they agreed that they would go on the walks they would if they had a dog every day for a year to see how dedicated they would be to the walking after a year. Their kids stuck to it unlike mine!
It also removes a lot of spontenanity from your life. Simple stuff like deciding to stay out a bit long from days out … need to get back to go. Like others said theres regular costs for food etc. Then the surprise extras that insurance doesnt cover.
I have however made peace with my choice now! Dog walker has helped a lot and I have become fitter from walking. Kids are getting older so hopefully that will help. I do love him and adores me.. falls my everywhere but cant get away from it. Hes hard work!

Don't get a cockapoo, mines been a nightmare biting due to anxiety. 2 of my neighbours also has problems with theirs. My groomer has one, and said she'd never get another one again. Get a cavapoo instead. They're more laid back and friendly. I always had cats but switched to a dog after the cat died. The commitment and extra chores were a shock. A cat you feed and let in/out. A dog you let in/out, walk/pick up poop/feed/wash its paws and bum alot/continuously train and feed. The toilet training went on for 6 weeks here, it made a mess of our carpet and all of those were broken nights sleep. Because they wine every few hours for the toilet, bless them. So be prepared. Obviously I'm keeping my angry dog who bites when stressed, but never again. I'd 100 percent get another cat, next time.

We have a 1yo cockapoo. We thought long and hard about it and waited til the kids were of an age that they can help. We researched hypo allergenic breeds for my sneezy OH and asked about breeders from people we knew who had nice dogs already. I think this was a game changer! We got to know her over a few weeks and handled her so she was used to our smell when we took her home. Ours has been an absolute dream, so clever and trainable. That’s my second tip, start as you mean to go on, be firm and consistent, buy a book of puppy training tips from day 1 and enrol in puppy training asap. Ours was house trained in days, and (other than one episode of sickness) has no accidents in the house. She has a little bell to ring when she wants to go out! She shreds tissues and tennis balls but apart from that is not destructive even when home alone. She’s ok to be left for few hours but she is past herself with excitement on our return, doesn’t matter if that’s for 4hrs or 10min! She is a ‘Velcro’ dog when we’re in and loves to be with someone and likes to play but you don’t find yourself playing ball for hours, she’s quite lazy really and quickly has had enough and ready for a nap! My only issue is around fitting her walks in around kids activities on an evening but tbh she’s happy with a quick walk round the block if needed. She’s fit in beautifully and is our therapy dog, I think we’re all much happier having her around and she’s v intuitive and a great comfort to our slightly dramatic and emotional 11yo daughter when upset!

Dogs are great and we love ours, but dog ownership can definitely be stressful. We have two small dogs, brother and sister. Although they’ve been brought up together and are both fixed, one is naturally very anxious and has become a reactive dog. That’s been a huge challenge for me and brings a certain level of anxiety to certain situations. Apart from that, it can sometimes be tricky to arrange holiday care when our usual dog sitters are busy.

I have had dogs my whole life apart from during my student years. My house feels empty without one.

My only advice is if you are a complete novice with dogs is to please adopt from a rehoming centre. There are lots around, and contrary to popular belief they won't stitch you up with a problem dog, they will match you with the most appropriate dog for your family & lifestyle. Organisations like Dogs Trust provide lifetime support for any dog you adopt from them, so they will help you with settling in and training etc. Due to the cost of living crisis there are so many dogs in rehoming centres that have been surrendered because their owners can't afford to keep them, they are much loved family pets that need a new family, and not only will you be giving them a second chance, you'll bypass the puppy stage of house training etc.

Puppies are cute, but they are a lot of work, and if you don't know what you're doing it's easy to fuck up and end up with a chewed up house, and a dog with anxiety and no social skills.

Make sure you take out good insurance to cover vet bills, get a dog walker that does house sitting, have them walk your dog once a week so the dog knows them, and then you can go on holiday secure in the knowledge that your dog is safe and happy at home with someone they know.

I'd encourage most people to get a dog, they are the most amazing pets, but do it mindfully, look at adopting rather than buying a puppy, and commit to training and learn about proper dog behaviour etc. And don't feed them crappy cereal based kibble!

Iv been a dog owner for 15 years and been brought up around dogs all my life. Can honestly say there's not one negative.
Re tying, we only go on camping holidays so she comes with us. She's a working cocker spaniel so high energy but we take her for long walks, she's affectionate and she adores the kids.
Walking her in winter in rain and wind can be crap but we just wear waterproofs.
She moults a lot but I usually vacuum twice a day anyway..
Vet bills and insurance is a lot but the love she gives us is worth it's weight in gold we really couldn't be without her
The positives really do outweigh the negatives

There is no getting over the fact it's hard work. I have two dogs, wfh or can take them into the office, and love walking. However it's still hard work. The walking become less of something you love and something you have to get done at times. One of my dogs has turned into a cantankerous old bag, and this has caused a level of stress when walking her, which is a real shame.

I organise life around my dogs, go on holiday with them, days out with them, walk every day. But even though I enjoy them, it become a chore at times. I've walked nearly 800 miles this year already.

I do however adore my cockapoo, so if you cannot be persuaded against it, I would highly recommend this breed. My older dog is a lab springer cross, and my cockerpoo has highlighted just how much hard work she is. The cockerpoo is easy to train relaxed, friendly, cuddly. Happy for a walk, equally happy to snooze. A fantastic dog.

Rescues are hit and miss, mine was my first dog and unfortunately I’m not sure I’d get a rescue again. He was 6 months when I got home so passed his socialisation period, although I still tried as much as possible after he arrived. But he’s a very anxious boy, barks at noises, people walking past the house, I can’t have people he doesn’t know in the house without a minimum of 30 minutes of barking, cowering and usually an accident. Barking on walks at other dogs, he wouldn’t walk at all at first and took a long time to walk properly (with lots of chicken) and I still now have to take high value treats out with me to distract him, it’s never anything I’ve actually been able to train into him. He’s been on two different types of medication and nothing has helped.

That being said, I love him to bits and I know I am his entire world, and there really isn’t many feelings close to that. He will settle down for me with barking quickly but it’s knowing that he’s my responsibility for the rest of his life because he doesn’t cope with anyone else, even my partner who he met the second day after I got him can’t walk him, otherwise he’ll stress and stop walking until I’m next to him.

We also have a 13 week old puppy; so far it’s going great but again, there’s the occasional accident in the house, biting EVERYTHING and always having to be entertaining him when he’s not sleeping. I’m self employed and WFH and I’m a homebody so it’s a lot easier for me but it’s still things like not being able to go out far for the day (fortunately he’s still small enough to carry!) not getting lie ins because they need to be up to go toilet and be walked.

I wouldn’t change it though.

We have a cockapoo, aged almost 3. Our wider family love dogs too so she always comes on any family visits, our local pub is super dog friendly, and we use a dog walker 2 x week.

It's been the best thing we've ever done but I'd say particularly for me and my mental health and for exercise. I'd do anything for that wee pooch!

I have a westie who Barks, you say no or shut up but she doesn’t listen, she has paw problems and licks her paws and drives you mad. Vets bills are expensive even with insurance you have to pay some, they need to go in the garden in the middle of the night. They pretend to need a wee when they want to go in the garden in the middle of the night! My westie taps you to wake you up and once you’re awake she goes back to sleep. Very cute and amusing but also annoying when the quack their duck while your watching tv!

You might get a digger and the digger might dig up your garden even when you have provided a doggy diggy box 😢😂