Negatives of having a dog

[Sleepdeprived42long]

So, we are considering getting a dog to join our family which is currently me, DH, DS11 and DS9. I’ve had cats my whole life but not dogs. DH and DS11 are most keen but I’m definitely not against the idea!

We’ve had some bad luck with pets in the past so I really want us to make this decision with our eyes open not just to the positives (which we know) but also the negatives.

Just by way of background-if we did go with a dog, would probably dog like cockapoo/cavapoo or similar. We both WFH and enjoy family walks-we don’t see this changing in the next few years. We do sometimes go out for whole days at the weekend (although normally to the beach or similar) and go on holiday quite a lot (4-5 times a year for at least 2-3 nights but sometimes up to 10 nights). We could afford a dog but would have to make sacrifices on other luxuries (possibly a holiday or two!). My mental health isn’t great-I struggle with anxiety and depression at times.

So, for those of you who have dogs, can you tell me your honest negatives of dog ownership?

*Getting out for a walk everyday (even in the rain) is a positive

I spent over a decade going in and out of homes for work, still do a fair bit. I can tell you when a dog lives there as soon as you open the door. You’re used to the smell. Those of us who don’t live with dogs aren’t and it’s quite unmistakable whatever you tell yourself about having a ‘non-smelling’ dog breed.

Its highly likely you will not get the dog you thought you were getting

You will have to adapt your lifestyle to suit the dog more often than the dog fitting comfortable into the existing lifestyle

We sold a house a couple years ago and the buyer commented that she couldn’t believe we had a dog as there were no signs. I reckon you can clean the dog smell out of a house if you were so inclined. Bet you’d have to put a lot of time and effort into it though. My mother in law lives in one of those “so clean it could be a show home” type houses and I suspect people wouldn’t know she had a dog. Personally, I prefer the smell of dog over the smell of zoflora. Lucky really, with how much I detest spending time cleaning.

Worst thing about dogs is their short lifespan!

My lovey Labrador has awful anxiety - what we thought was a lovely puppy trait has actually manifested into a crippling anxiety that has required behavioural therapy input. It severely limits who can look after him as staying away from me exacerbates his anxiety. He was
severely bitten by another dog when he was just over a year old and so now he is antisocial with new dogs, which again is an issue when it comes to walks if we see a dog he isn’t familiar with.

Despite his issues, and the lack of freedom, I will never give him up - he is my shadow and I adore him.

I’m sure it’s possible, if you were to air constantly and clean each surface the dog sat on. But dogs do physically smell, as do humans but different and as we are human we don’t notice…!

If you haven't had a dog before, I wouldn't get a rescue dog. Even experienced dog owners can struggle with the issues. I wouldn't get a designer 'poo' either. As PPs have said, a lot are poorly bred. Don't presume that because there are loads of them around that they are easy dogs or healthy dogs in the long-term.

2 things I find negative.

1. Mainly the tie! You are always clock watching/feeling bad about being out for long periods when they're at home.
2. The mud/mess/hair/smell in the house, they need walked whatever the weather! So often come in wet/muddy, which ultimately results in mess/smell in your house to some extent no matter how often you bath/dry them.

If you do get a dog, I would advise the following to minimise the negativity of above points:
Get it from a puppy (although please don't underestimate to work and commitment of a puppy) and socialise it very well, get it used to EVERYTHING! Think where you're likely to take it, who/what it's likely to come into contact with and what you would like your dog to be like (ie sleep in a cage/go in the car/go on a train/go to the pub/come on holiday with you etc etc) and get it used to all these things in the socialisation period (before 16 weeks of age) and ensure all these experiences/encounters are positive ones. It's not 100% guarantee but generally by doing this it'll make a much happier and more chilled dog when it experiences these things after. And hopefully means it's easier to take the dog with you to lots of things rather than it being stuck at home and you feeling tied. But do also get it used to being left at home routinely, again something to get it used to early, short periods of time so it doesn't see being left as a negative experience.
Secondly, a none shedding breed and getting it's hair cut regularly helps with hair/mess. Getting it used to going in a cage or area of the house after a walk, where it stays for a period. Let's it dry and contains the mess after wet/muddy walks. Don't let them upstairs/on beds/sofas etc. This is personal preference but again something you should start from day 1 if you want to happen. So many people get a cute puppy and let them run the house and do what they like because they're cute and fluffy but then find their behaviour problematic later, it's far easier and fairer on the dog to start the rules from day 1, also make sure all family members are on board and following the same rules.

On another note, I find having a dog hugely improves my mental health. I find a nice quiet country walk on your own with your dog is the most therapeutic thing ever.

Expensive
Limiting in where you can go and for how long
Make your house smell
Have to pick up shit
Some (school) friends will not visit

Get a poodle from a reputable pedigree breeder of poodles if you like cockerpoos.

It is the best way to guarantee a really good temperament because poodles are super trainable and temperament does run in families. You know what you are getting as much as you possible can.

Also poodles don't shed and are relatively unsmelly

I can't add much to the points people have already made. But I would say

-don't discount a rescue or an older dog. You won't have to do the puppy stage (a quick look on here at the various puppy survival threads will show you just how trying that can be). The rescue will be able to assess the dog's personality and needs and make sure that there's a match with you and your lifestyle. Be aware that rescue doesn't always mean given up for bad behaviour or ill health, there are loads of dogs in rescue because something happened to their owners that meant they couldn't keep them.

-when you get a dog, get it insured BEFORE you take it to the vet for a checkup. Once the vet mentions that there is or may be an issue with something it can impact your insurance massively.

-having a dog of your own is wonderful, but not everyone is in a position to be able to make the commitment it takes. You might be able to have a dog in your life some other way. For example the local Guide Dogs training center is always advertising for families to board their dogs while they're not actually receiving training. You'd get loads of support and backup from an organisation like this as well.

Good luck in finding your next best friend.

The main thing is what everyone else has already covered - they're a huge tie. Honestly, don't underestimate it. It's not just during puppy-hood either - even adult dogs need planning for.

No more impromptu days out unless they're dog-friendly.
No evenings out after work/school if the dog has been left all day.
If you want a long day out, you need to arrange care for the dog in advance - but many walkers etc. don't do weekends so you need to be organised.
Holidays need to revolve around the dog too - either by taking the dog with you or paying for kennels or boarding, which isn't cheap.

I adore my dog and I wouldn't be without him, but he is a massive commitment and has changed our lives completely.

Having had dogs my whole life I find it hard to pin point negatives because my dogs are just present and part of my life and I’ve never known any different (if that makes sense?!)
However, having read other points - most of which I agree with, I think my biggest doggy annoyance is the hair everywhere!! Probably depends on breed but one of my dogs sheds so much. I have to vacuum at least once a day or else we’re knee-deep in the stuff and it gets everywhere!!
We are lucky enough to have a family member who will help out with our dogs when we go out/go on holiday so our dogs are less of a tie than other peoples but it’s a valid point if you don’t have someone handy to help out. One of my dogs is very small and comes out with me nearly everywhere I go. She’s so small that most of the time no one knows she’s there!
Also agree about the expense. Insurance, vet plan, decent quality food. It all adds up!
Finally, we currently have 4 dogs and the cockerpoo is a little sweetie but she’s the hardest work of all of them. She’s highly strung and needs a lot of exercise, she barks non-stop (as do all the cockerpoos I know) and she has a lot of issues with allergies. I wouldn’t recommend them.

What do you mean by "bad luck" with pets?

I've got a cockapoo , had 2 til recently and they are HARD work !!!

I can't even go to the bin never mind leave him all day by himself. They are known to have separation problems and boy don't I know it !!! He plays up so much when he's tired . He just sits and barks. They bark A LOT ! other owners have commented to me how much theirs do too.
The grooming is so expensive and the zoomies they get can be annoying ...

BUT this boy is my whole life. I recently lost my partner and he's been everything to me. I might not be able to go for a wee , or have a lie in without being smothered in kisses coz he wants to go for a walk. We might not be able to go 5 mins without a parent or a child singing the Waffle dog song or someone telling me I should set up a business taking him to kids parties. And I might pull my hair out most days with the muddy clothes , the constant stopping to have a wee but I wouldn't be without my little fella. He has a special place tucked inside my heart.

Trust me you'll never be able to part from them if you get one , so make sure you can afford it , mentally , emotionally and physically coz you'll be stuck with the beautiful bundle of cuddles for a long time.

I love my dog more than anything but there are things that are very restrictive
-cost of day care is expensive and keeps going up
-we used to travel a lot but since getting him we have mostly only had holidays in the uk. Not just because I worry about him missing us but because when we did go without him I missed him.
-you can’t go out for long periods
-you might find a lot of child friendly activities don’t allow dogs.

the positives far outweigh any issues but you really do need to think about it. It’s a big change.

BTW yes the walks are relentless with a cockapoo. My boy wants to go out 4/5 times a day and the more he walks the more he wants. They say cockapoos need at least an hour walk a day. Either 1 hour walk or 2 half hour walks .

You WILL go through a phase where you feel trapped and regretful. Perhaps just because of the demands of the puppy phase or because the dog develops a stressful issue - or just because, once the excitement has worn off, it suddenly dawns on you that you have circa 15 years of this, and three months was actually enough!
If you have some degree of mental health difficulty, that period of remorse may be quite ruminative, prolonged, tortured and very self-judging.

I'm playing Devils advocate a bit because my dog is a boon and a salve to my poor mental health. I don't regret him one bit. But it really is important to be forewarned of possible regretful rumination, which may last a day or a lifetime!

Don't get a cockerpoo they are normally deranged and can have serious resource guarding issues, don't get a cavapoo, as. it will most likely end up with heart issues and watching your dog die of heart disease is heartbreaking, go for a poodle, they a fun and tend not to have the issues that 'designer' dogs do as they aren't being bred from dodgy stock.

If you buy a puppy, there’s a high chance they’ll be from a puppy farm or there will at least be some exploitation of dogs involved. Breeders are mostly in it for the cash and are good at hiding what’s really going on, If you get a rescue, you don’t know their history. I’d still only ever get a rescue though.

Picking up pop, toilet accidents, sickness, them trying to eat everything on walks, fleas, ticks, smells, dog hair, they chew stuff...no good if you’re squeamish or want a show home.

You shouldn’t leave a dog for more than 4 hours and some dogs don’t cope well even for an hour, so they do restrict what you do and how long for if you can’t take them with you.

They are time consuming, feeding, training, walks, vet visits, healthcare, grooming etc.

If you want to holiday without them, you have to find someone you trust, you may have to pay for care if you don’t have willing family or friends. It’s heartbreaking to leave them. We now only holiday in the U.K. 😅

There will be an excess on insurance. Insurance can be expensive especially as they get older. We’ve had dogs that, even with decent insurance, the bill has been above the insured amount. By thousands.

Costs in general like good quality food are increasing. We pay £60 for each groom. Annual vaccinations, beds, treats, toys.

The worst is they get poorly and when they die, it breaks your heart into millions of pieces. Dealing with your own emotions as well as your children’s is very, very hard. 😔

BUT, if you have someone at home most of the time, can afford them and can deal with the mess, then dogs are fantastic and imo improve life so much. You can give a dog love and stability which is very rewarding. They’re fun, get you outside, gets kids off screens, provide companionship, teach children calmness and responsibility and help mental health.

Adopt, don’t shop though!

Not a dog owner, but spend a lot of time with family who are.

They have a poodle cross and he’s a very highly strung dog. Adorable, but definite anxiety issues. He can’t be left alone (hence us getting roped in to dog sit often), he barks constantly at everything, he is very fussy with food, he chews shoes and kids toys, he hates other dogs, he can’t be off lead as he runs off.

He is super loving and great with the kids and we do enjoy our time with him, but he is a bit like another toddler. I am a dog lover, but I’ve no intention of getting one any time soon as it’s just so much work.

Wow thanks everyone for your responses. I’m going to discuss each and every point with DH so that we come to a fully informed decision re whether we can accept and adjust our lives not just for the positive but also negative aspects of having a dog.

Quite a few people have commented on the breeds we were looking at-I’d rather a small/medium sized dog (I’ve walked too many dogs in the past that are so big they could pull you off your feet!).

Any particular recommendations for breeds that would be good for families and less likely to have separation anxiety if we are out for a few hours (and/or breeders if you’re in Scotland!)? (I do appreciate that the breed is no guarantee of temperament)

I think the positives outweigh the negatives.