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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Have to say goodbye at 6pm, don't know if I can do it 😢

56 replies

Rarar · 04/04/2023 16:30

She's only 10, has had nothing but health problems all her life and long term steroids have wrecked her kidneys, amongst other things. She's not in terrible pain but has no energy, interest or quality of life, she just sleeps all the time. So it doesn't have to be today and that's what I'm struggling with, every other time I've had to pts it's been 'urgent' and I don't know how to reconcile with being the one to choose the day she dies. I know we can't go on indefinitely and whichever day I pick will probably feel just as bad, I just don't know that it has to be today, does it? I'm just going round in circles and I'm running out of time.

OP posts:
ThreeB · 04/04/2023 16:33

I wish I could help but we're in the same boat and we will say goodbye on Thursday. Like you, others have been emergencies so this feels totally alien and I'm constantly questioning the decision.

I'm sending hugs x

Elise72 · 04/04/2023 16:34

I feel your pain hugely. We were the same with our elderly dog. We had to choose the time and day and it felt so wrong. And she wagged her tail to the vet at the door.
Oh so painful 😔

But, ultimately you are doing the right thing. You could leave it another day or month, but to what end.

Very very hard.

Do you want to share a photo?

sendbackaletterfromamerica · 04/04/2023 16:35

I'm so sorry. This sounds heartbreaking. It sounds as if your decision has been made entirely with her best interests at heart so take comfort from this. Postponing it would just bring this awful situation around again. Deep sympathies ❤️

WhatDoesMyFutureHold · 04/04/2023 16:36

Better a week too early, than a day too late 💐

I hope you're ok, OP x

yorkypuds · 04/04/2023 16:36

We are in the same boat. Have made enquiries but can't just make the call!
I'll be thinking of you!

romdowa · 04/04/2023 16:38

Better today than leave her miserable any longer. She's tired and just sleeping all the Time with shot kidneys. That Is no quality of life for her. As hard as it is to put her to sleep, it's honestly the kindest thing to do. I seen my mother keep her old dog alive too long and the poor dog ended up dying in the vets in the middle of the night. Poor thing suffered needlessly. My mother was incredibly selfish . Put the dog first and let her run free over the rainbow.

Original poster
Rarar · 04/04/2023 16:39

I'm really not ok, I honestly don't think I can do it. Thing is I've prepared DD now and it would be so cruel to put her through this again. But I'm not prepared, I'm not ready.

OP posts:
QueenofLouisiana · 04/04/2023 16:39

I’m so sorry. As a loving owner, you know when it’s the right time. If you want to talk about your beautiful dog, please do. xx

yorkypuds · 04/04/2023 16:42

The anticipation of the pain is so hard to bare! I've backed out once before and it has prolonged the agony for me!

Original poster
Rarar · 04/04/2023 16:43

I can't talk about her, I can't even look at her I feel so guilty. I just keep thinking if it wasn't for me choosing to do this she would still be here tomorrow doing everything she's doing now, which admittedly isn't much but still. I know I'm being ridiculous, I'm just spiralling now it's getting close.

OP posts:
FrogsHiccups · 04/04/2023 16:51

OP I feel for you. We put our boy to sleep yesterday afternoon.
I took him. Gave him his favourite snacks. I hugged him. Looked in to his eyes and told him I loved him. Then he fell asleep next to me.

I spent pretty much all of yesterday and last night in pieces.
But today is a new day. I’ve cried and it’s still shit. But it’s less shit than yesterday. And tomorrow will be less shit than today.

All the best.

MrsHamlet · 04/04/2023 16:54

We kept putting it off, determined that our lovely girl should see one last Christmas. In the end, though, we decided to give her a last good day with all the treats her special diet had forbidden and lots and lots of cuddles.
I don't think you're ever "ready" but we held her as she slipped away peacefully. She was ready to go.
Don't feel guilty. Feel glad for all the good times she had with you.

UrsulaPandress · 04/04/2023 16:58

In my experience the sense of relief when you realise they are no
longer suffering is immense.

I am however crying as I type this reliving all those moments.

2bazookas · 04/04/2023 16:58

In my experience of PTS;; afterwards, it will be some comfort to know you did the right thing for her and didn't keep her alive for your own sake. That she died peacefully in comfort before pain and distress began.

The first time I had to pts an old dog, I wished later that I'd done it two weeks earlier. When he was a very old thinner tireder dog but still happy. I shouldn't have waited until he struggled to stand, couldn't eat, and had stopped wagging.

Since then, when I've known it was their time, I didn't make them wait till I was ready.

DanceMonster · 04/04/2023 17:00

We had a similar situation with our dog at the weekend. He was old, exhausted, his back legs were very painful with arthritis and he didn’t really move much at all. It took a while to make the decision. It is so so sad but I don’t regret it, it was time for him to go.
I hope you’re ok.

Lwrenagain · 04/04/2023 17:03

Op, I am so sorry.
This made me cry because I can feel how hurt you are.
Youre doing something shitty for you, but selfless for her.
You know its time when you know that if in her shoes, you'd be happier to not suffer.
You need to say goodnight, and you and your DD and family need to grieve.
Be strong for her and grieve as much and as long as you need too.
I wish you nothing but strength and love.
Goodnight to your beautiful pal, she loves you and trusts youre doing the right thing by her. I'm really sorry x

SchoolTripDrama · 04/04/2023 17:19

If the dog is happy enough then why do it? I'm surprised the vet has agreed to this

DanceMonster · 04/04/2023 17:27

SchoolTripDrama · 04/04/2023 17:19

If the dog is happy enough then why do it? I'm surprised the vet has agreed to this

In the OP’s words, the dog has no energy, interest or quality of life. Does that sound like a ‘happy’ dog?

tedgran · 04/04/2023 17:44

Last loving thing you we do for our beautiful animals as you have prepared your DD please go ahead, it won't be any easier tomorrow or the next day. Hugs x

Letsnotargue · 04/04/2023 18:10

I hope it went ok, as ok as these things can.

I have to remind myself that dogs have no sense of the future, they don’t mourn missed opportunities and I don’t really think they remember much about their past. They live in the moment and if their moment isn’t a fun one anymore then the time might be right.

As a PP said, the relief I feel afterwards is almost disarming, so don’t feel bad. It’s relief on their behalf that they’re not struggling anymore.

Tonight will be rubbish, but it will get easier as the days go on. Hugs to you and your family.

stockpilingallthecheese · 04/04/2023 18:12

Thinking of you OP, I welled up reading your post as your love shines through. I hope it went ok Flowers

lemons44 · 04/04/2023 18:12

Your actions were out of love OP 💗 it's ok.

MrsMorton · 04/04/2023 18:13

Love to you OP. Heartbreaking. My dog zero died in the vets arms at 10pm after a week of being an inpatient and it's an enormous regret of mine that I wasn't there for him. The vet was amazing but he would have wanted me there and I'll never forgive myself. 20 months on it still makes me cry. You've done a very brave thing.

pinkspaghetti · 04/04/2023 18:16

It's the last kind thing you can do for your beloved pet. We went through it recently and the saying goodbye is horrendous and we were both in floods of tears but afterwards there was a kind of relief that she wasn't suffering anymore. Keeping them alive when they've no quality of life is for your sake rather than theirs. Sending love and a massive hug.

BiteyShark · 04/04/2023 18:17

I hope I can be in your shoes with my dog.

I have had too many times when I have handed him over in an emergency not knowing if that was the last time especially when the vet says there is a significant chance of him not making it.

To pick their last day, to have been spoiled rotten and to go in peace surrounded by the people who have loved them all their life is the best gift to give them. Take care OP Flowers