Altercation on walk that made me cry

[fruitstick]

Have taken dog for lovely walk. Met lots of lovely people and dogs, lovely chats, very much the perfect walk.

Dog is a spaniel so a friendly sort but very gentle, plays nicely etc.

Walking back along the road (most of our walk is off lead) on the lead and there is a woman behind us when I cross the road with a small dog. Chihuahua/Pomeranian type. She walks quicker than me so after about 100 yards catches us up.

Dog is being a pain and desperately trying to go backwards to say hello. I stop and tell her to go ahead but she says no. Carry on another 100 yards, my dog still trying to turn round again so I say 'no, honestly, you go ahead' but she says no, she doesn't like people walking behind her.

I figure fair enough, who I am to question it. So I carry on but she is very close behind me and I realise I don't really like people walking behind me either!

Then we come across a lorry parked on the pavement, so I go round it one way and she goes the other, so by the time we get round the lorry she is in front. She stops to let me go in front of her again and my dog, who by this time is excited, goes to say hello to her dog (sniff noses) and SHE KICKS HIM OUT OF THE WAY

I tell her not to kick my dog and then she says 'well why is he behaving like that'

I say because he wants to say hello to your dog. I tell her to go in front of me and she refuses again, so I tell her to stay where she is until we are around the corner because she is not walking 2m behind me and kicking my dog.

I march off.

I'm so upset.

He's a friendly sort but I don't let him say hello to every dog, but normally the dog who doesn't want to be said hello to quickly moves past or, if it's a reactive dog, they keep their distance and my dog gets over it fairly quickly.

Silly question but why didnt you cross the road?

WTF?

I’ve kicked dogs out of the way if they’re fighting, but randomly on a lead just for being close? That’s blooming weird!!!

I mean if she didn’t want to be that close she could have just used words 😳

She has absolutely no right to kick your dog and that is no way to behave.

In her defence though it does sound like you was being a bit awkward.

I'm sorry that happened to you and I understand your upset. If her dog was aggressive/fearful/reactive, the woman had plenty of opportunities to put distance between you without resorting needlessly to that. Her behaviour and actions were selfish and shitty.

However, and I say this with the kindest possible intention - arseholes exist, we have to share space with them, and you will need to learn to advocate for your dog a bit more. Stop, change direction, cross the road, go another way. It may be inconvenient at the time but do not allow yourself to be drawn into a situation where your dog can be hurt. Also don't accept 'being a pain' - teach him to value you and focus on you, so that saying hello to other dogs is less of a draw.

Rude lady!
If you meet her again just stop and stay by the side, she will have to walk on ahead. Ridiculous of her to not pass you if she was a faster walker.

There's no pavement on the other side of the road, just a hedge.

And I was about 300 yards from my house - so as she refused to go in front of me I didn't really see what else I could do.

She was walking directly behind me.

And agree to above, advocate for your dog (and yourself) a bit better in future, you didn't have to continue walking with her behind you just because she preferred it that way.

She sounds like she has a personality disorder. Its is horrible to have someone kick your dog, its not like you want to retaliate by kicking hers.

Eh? In what way was OP being awkward? The daft cow behind her was.

But when I stopped to let her go in front she stopped and refused to carry on until I did.

It was weird and I really didn't see it ending like that.

The only option was to turn and walk in the opposite direction away from my house.

She was a shit and kicking a dog in this situation is unacceptable.

But I do agree with others that you could do more about your dog 'being a pain' because he wants to say hello.

Small dogs can be v lead reactive and if she's been working on it and her dog wasn't jumping all over the place she may have felt nervous that her dog would be upset by an on-lead approach from a bigger dog. I think she was trying to tell you she wanted space. You both sound like you handled it a little awkwardly. She needed to be clearer initially if she needed space as you were in the end which solved the problem.

Provided your dog is ok I would put it behind you though. It would be a rare dog owner who hasn't had some awkward dog encounters. I have a teenage collie so I have loads and have learnt people are usually forgiving if you apologise sincerely and are clearly not trying to upset them or their dog. If you get one person who is a bit less tolerant that's just a thing that happens - maybe she was having a bad day for other reasons.

Perhaps her dog didn’t want to say hello ( mine wouldn’t ) she was being a pain , so was your dog , she shouldn’t have kicked him , you should have sorted your dog out . Sounds like a big fuss about nothing , certainly not worth getting worked up about .

But I was trying to give her space by standing to the side and letting her go in front of me.

She could easily have held back if her dog was reactive but she insisted on being right behind me.

I'm not sure what else I could have done.

She was being very unreasonable. I would be furious if someone kicked my dog when they weren't being aggressive or something that perhaps warranted it.
If her dog is reactive and she doesn't want yours saying hello, then she should have held back and not walk so close to you. My dog will keep turning round if we have someone walking their dog just behind us. If I have a dog in front and they are doing the same, I hold back for a bit and then continue walking.
I think in this situation I would have just started walking in the opposite direction for a bit, just so I could turn around and continue with my walk home with her in front.

If she did not want her dog to be greeted she should have carried on in front or alternatively slowed down - I don’t know what else you could have done. I would have been very upset if someone kicked my dog - just plain rude!

She was very irritating, really if her dog is reactive, she needs to do better at keeping it away from others. You can't really stop dogs getting close enough to sniff if you choose to walk right behind someone on the pavement.
I have a friendly dog, if I meet dogs who appear unsociable I pass quickly or let them do so.

hindsight is wonderful but next time turn around and go back the way you came for a couple of minutes until you are clear of them.

I don't like people behind me either so I stop to admire the view, fiddle with my phone etc until they are gone.

If her dog was reactive she should have just said then you would have know. To keep your dog away. I don't see anything wrong in what you did. Your poor dog very strange lady!

It sounds like she went out today with the intention of kicking a dog!

I’m not keen on dogs and entitled dog owners letting their dogs come up to you/straddle their lead across the path are a huge bugbear of mine - however from what you e said you did nothing wrong. She sounds a bit loopy.

She sounds batshit. Don't waste anymore head space on her OP.
As for kicking your dog? I would've kicked her back 🤬

She sounds like a lunatic.

@fruitstick that's why I said she needed to be clearer initially if she needed space. I don't know if there was more you could have done. I am just speculating that the most likely reason for her to over-react so badly to an on-lead interaction between your dog and hers is that her dog has been lead reactive. Best way to avoid that is always give people enough space that on-lead interactions can't happen without consent. She clearly handled it badly but it's likely she kicked your dog because she was nervous not because she has a personality disorder. (I mean she could have a PD, who knows, I do know in the MH service I work in we'd need more to go on than that before we accepted a referral for assessment....!)

Sorry this happened to you. I’m not as sure you did anything wrong here. She was effectively chasing you up the road, if she didn’t want to pass you and walk in front, that’s fine- but then she shouldn’t have walked so quickly as to catch you up.

Whether your dog was interested in hers or just wanted to stop and sniff you shouldn’t be dictated at keeping up a marching pace because she doesn’t want to walk first.

yes you need to advocate for your dog, but it can be difficult when confronted with such a nasty piece of work

Its your fault . You knew your dog was trying to get to hers. You should have had your dog on such a short lead it could not possibly reach her dog. Instead you stupidly , selfishly decided to allow him to "say hello" to a dog whose owner already asked you to stay ahead . You had every reason to understand that either she or her dog were very nervous of strangers getting too close.

Chihuahuas and pomeranians are both notoriously reactive breeds, the owner had already asked you to stay ahead , ie, where she could see you and control separation distance and keep her dog well away from you and your dog. She was being a responsible dog owner . You indulged your badly trained dog, and he paid the price.

It could have been far worse; he might have got into a serious fight with her dog.