To regret getting a dog

[katedan]

I really love our dog and he is a dream in the daytime but he wakes in the morning earlier and earlier and it is now about 6am. We go and let him out for a wee but he then wants company and will woof until someone joins him downstairs. We do not let him upstairs and that is a given. I am Really tired and it us impacting on my ability to work etc, I did sleep deprivation when the kids were young and I don't want to do it for a dog! Really questioning if I can do this for the next 12 years. He is 18 months old.

@Clymene

Yeah maybe my dog is really bored? I don't know. How can you tell?

He's not destructive and seems to enjoy life. He is a lazy arse who doesn't want to get up in the morning when it's cold though he often gets up for a wander in the night.

I'm just living with a dog in a way that works for us

Exactly I cant tell - I have no idea about you or your life.

Exactly the same as the OP but people are managing to tell them what to do and jumping to massive conclusions......

I have a black lab, he’s 5 in May and whilst he’s always been good at letting us lay in, it is nice to let him upstairs. He sleeps downstairs by himself and never usually wakes us but my fiancé goes to work at 5.30 and he sometimes comes up to get in bed with me! I think you either let him upstairs after his morning wee or you suck it up. With the lighter mornings rolling in he will want to be up earlier. Tbh we’ve been really lucky with ours i can’t remember a time he woke us up so early even during the puppy days! Definitely by 18 months he was sleeping happily until we got up in the morning!

I mean Obira really

@AlternativePerspective

Christ. This board has the god awful reputation it does for good reasons. It’s by far the worst board on MN for judgement and bitching aside from AIBU.

Getting a dog does not mean the dog rules the house and all human rights go out of the window. While people do need to adapt to having a dog, dogs also need to live to learn with some of the rules in the house, and that includes not demanding to be number one in the pecking order.

Yes, a dog should bark if it needs to go out and the human of course needs to get up then to accommodate that. But not wanting to be up at 6:00 or to have the dog sleep upstairs does not make someone a bad owner and does not mean that someone has bought a lockdown puppy they’ve just lost interest in.

If you let your dog upstairs when it barks then your dog has learned to bark to be allowed upstairs. Your dogs rule the roost. Well done.

To the person who said having a dog is like having a small child, last time I checked it wasn’t considered the norm to let children get away with whatever behaviour they want and for the adults to do what the kids want for a quiet life.

All this.

My husband's had labs all his life - with me for 20 of them. They've never been allowed upstairs or on sofas. They've all been very happy and adored him particularly, though he is strictest with them. Labs are very trainable. He should be able to learn not to bark too early in the morning. He also shouldn't need a wee that early unless there's something wrong with his bladder.

Why not go to bed earlier and then just get up at 6?

Totally agree ^^ thank goodness I thought I was living in a weird universe

@ImplementingTheDennisSystem

Aaah a lockdown dog that you now can't be bothered with. Don't worry OP, there are millions like you, so you're not alone. You'll rehome the dog eventually, saying you did all you could (but you didnt really and you know it) so you may as well get on and do it now. You're welcome 🥱

I am aware my title sounded worse than it was but we will certainly not give him up, I am very tired and being dramatic but we do love him!!! I did want ideas as to how to manage as it is only going to get worse as the mornings get lighter.

Ive got 2 dogs and they are not allowed upstairs. I want a hair free zone! They have the run of the rest of the house and are perfectly happy.

My 9 year old huge retriever likes to wake us up around 6 for his breakfast, but that is his routine, and has been for years - nobody tells him when clocks go back/forward

I have no advice, but I do sympathise.

Our dog isn't allowed to sleep upstairs, I'm an insomniac, my two dc with ASD have disordered sleep so the last thing I could cope with is a dog moving, and snoring and waking me as well. Although she did wake me the other night because I could hear her snoring even though she was downstairs at the back of the house and i was upstairs at the front of the house and all doors were closed.
I had months of getting up at the crack of dawn though as she wanted company (she's a rescue so no idea where she slept previously) I used the alarm clock tip making it later by ten minutes each week. Now though she huffs if I wake her before eight and only scratches to get up if I'm not down before nine.

@HoneyItIsntGoodLuck did you see the cat bit duck?

5 have boths dogs and cats. 2 have just dogs and 3 have just cats. Would you like me to tell you their names?

I'll swap you for my cat who wakes us at 5am daily wanting to be fed.

@violetbunny

I'll swap you for my cat who wakes us at 5am daily wanting to be fed.

By walking across your face? Mine walk across my face 🤣

I can’t imagine having pets and not allowing them upstairs (or in some cases on furniture). They should be part of the family. I would just let him upstairs.

@ladyautumnal

This is the first time I've heard of people not letting their dogs upstairs (not a dog owner myself, still looking). The bed/bedroom, I understand - but not allowing your pet to go upstairs at all seems really strange to me. Your choice, of course.

In terms of the shedding, is it really that huge of a concern for you? If your pet is lonely alone & downstairs, it seems much kinder to just let them up & deal with the hair.

Im in the minority obviously but none of my three dogs have ever been upstairs, they dont know it even exists. No way.

I think you should be prioritising your dog's needs.
Make sure he has a special pillow so he can be as close as possible to you when sleeping and respond to every bark immediately.

@katedan

His last meal is 6pm and he will go to bed when we do at about 11, he sleeps a lot on the day and is very good at being left in the day.

I did not realise how common it was for dogs to be allowed upstairs, he is a black lab and sheds hair everywhere so it is not possible for us to have him upstairs

We had 2 golden retrievers with a bit of an overlap in time. They were never allowed upstairs. They shed a lot of hair.I hoovered downstairs every day. I was not going to hoover the whole house every day. They slept at the bottom of the stairs. The younger one came to live with us when we lived in my bungalow. No stairs. We moved to a house with steep victorian stairs. He didn't like coming down so he didn't go up.

Honestly it sounds like you’re not suited to dog ownership and don’t love him. He would probably have a better life in another home.

Ah there’s always one.

My dog sleeps alone in the lounge. She was in the kitchen then we moved her into the lounge. She had the Guinea pigs for company. I hate leaving her every night. I would love to have her sleep in our room. In the day she has free reign to go where she wants and often snuggles with me on my bed if I'm sat on it. Reading this makes me feel even worse about her sleeping along in the lounge. The fish is no company for her really. Ddog is 5 1/2 years.

Ha, 6am is so early that it’s impacting your ability to work? Hope you’re not planning on having children

6 am is normal to let a dog out for a wee. Once dog is back let him/her sleep with you upstairs it won't do any harm. Mine love a snooze on my bed in the morning and it's the perfect time for a cup of tea.

My dogs have never been allowed upstairs.

They’re both guide dogs, one current and one retired. And before anyone says “ah but guide dogs are different because they’re working dogs,” no, they’re not, not when they’re in the house they’re part of the family like any other dog. In fact the downstairs of my house resembles a dog playroom, with toys everywhere. And if I’m really lucky, the black lab won’t leave them in the doorway for me to trip over on my way through. .

Guide dog puppies are trained not to go upstairs. it’s fairly obvious that this doesn’t always happen, but neither of mine have ever been upstairs, and they are most definitely not allowed on the furniture.

As I said, the older one barks in the morning because he has early stage doggy dementia and gets separation anxiety first thing in the morning. But before that he was usually still asleep when I came down in the morning.

They both shed as one is a lab and the other a lab/retriever cross. Unfortunately one is black and the other one is golden so it’s bad enough that I have to vacuum a two-tone carpet downstairs, there’s no way I want to be doing the same upstairs as well…

Anyone who thinks not allowing a dog upstairs equals not loving them or being suited to dog ownership can get stuffed. If I didn’t love my dogs I would just give them back to guide dogs for rehoming when they retired, i.e. when their usefulness ran out I would have just got rid and got a new one. But I’ve kept all of my dogs when they retired, and I will continue to do so because I can’t bear to part with them. They’re my babies. Far higher in the pecking order than my DP.

Ours doesn’t get up till 10 or 11am. Sorry!

I also have an 18 month black lab. She wakes at 7 every day. It’s for company because I let her out and she trots upstairs with me and comes for a sleep with us for another 2 hours before she needs a wee or breakfast. We have a throw that we put over the bed before she’s allowed on it and she snuggles down and falls fast asleep. I was also not going to let her upstairs but realised we’re treading hair upstairs anyway so why not. And to be honest she only wants to be where people are so if we’re all downstairs she will be too. At night she is fine in her crate though

I have a lab. She hates being on her own. Just let her in to bed with you. Mine now sleeps until we get up, and sometimes if one of us is having a lie in sleeps on! I just use old duvet covers and change them a couple of times a week.

When my boy went through this stage in his terrible teens, we did a few things.

1. included a bedtime biscuit into his routine
2. took him for a 5 min walk behalf an hour before bedtime to allow him to use the loo (he dithered/refused in the garden) and importantly…
3. started pushing back his ‘getting up’ time by 5 mins every day (so 6.05am the first day, 6.10am the second, 6.15am the third etc) until we were where we needed to be and his wake up schedule had normalised. He was awake but was amusing himself. He couldn’t adjust to a massive change but the small increments were much easier.

If you find he is struggling to move on to the next time slot and you get stuck on one interval, just do it a few times and then move on. It’s like any training, you can’t force them to progress, it doesn’t work.