To regret getting a dog

[katedan]

I really love our dog and he is a dream in the daytime but he wakes in the morning earlier and earlier and it is now about 6am. We go and let him out for a wee but he then wants company and will woof until someone joins him downstairs. We do not let him upstairs and that is a given. I am Really tired and it us impacting on my ability to work etc, I did sleep deprivation when the kids were young and I don't want to do it for a dog! Really questioning if I can do this for the next 12 years. He is 18 months old.

Maybe turn on the radio or tv low to give him company for the early morning , it might settle him

Getting up at 6am is not sleep deprivation. If you really feel that way, can't you take it turns at sleeping in?

I'd assume he's hungry. Cats will yowl from downstairs until you come and feed them. Perhaps he's the same!

[quote AllThingsServeTheBeam]@Babadook76 Its extremely common. I don't know a single person in my family or friend group (all own at least 1 dog or cat) that don't allow pets upstairs.

In fact I extend that to work colleagues as well. In my team of 10.[/quote]
Every single one of your 10 colleagues has a dog.

That they allow upstairs.

What a coincidence!

I haven’t had that conversation with a single one of my colleagues.

@Scaredypup

My dogs never been allowed in bedrooms. Granted she’s only 6 months but I’m always confused by people who say just let them upstairs/in the bedroom. I can’t imagine I’d get any sleep with her in the bedroom. She wouldn’t settle and would be nipping at me all night or getting into mischief, emptying the washing basket.

She also wakes up early. I have slept past 6:30am since getting her 4 months ago. I’ve just accepted that’s the way it’ll be.

Why are you confused at other peoples choices?

@Alcoh

We started off with our cavapoo not allowed upstairs. Then not on the bed. Now he sleeps between our and my kids two beds rotating through the night to make sure everyone is safe and in the right place ! But then our dog doesn’t shed or smell. If you are not going to let the dog upstairs then you will need to suck the barking up.

A cavapoo and a Labrador are quite different in size.

Par for the course with young dogs. My spaniel got up at 5am for the first two years and he was allowed upstairs. He still shuffles about from 5 in summer 10 years later. I’d ignore even if you’re awake, you getting up is the reward.

My dog is five and starts ringing his toilet bell on the back door aggressively from as soon as it’s light 🤷‍♀️

I have cognitively reframed it that it’s good because it means I start the day early. I’ve tried everything but it is what it is. I love him - what can ya do….

@PollyRoulllson

Dogs are not pack animals they do not live in packs ever anywhere. Dogs do not need to be in a pack to survive. In the wild they hunt alone and not in packs.

They are social animals. The can work together for mutual gain but do not have to be in a pack to survive.

My conscience is fine

They're social though and like to be with their people. Personally, I like my sleep so my dog sleeps with me. He is never up before me and often stays in bed if it's cold.

Other people have dogs differently. Not cruel, just different

He’s 18months old, it could just be an age thing. They do go through an awkward, stubborn teenage phase where they seem to forget any training or routine they ever had. They do come through it though. I agree with introducing a small bedtime snack. I have a (lean) lab and he has a biscuit before bed too (last meal at 5pm).

Oh and he isn’t allowed upstairs either. It’s enough of a battle keeping the hair under control on one floor of the house, thanks very much. We’re at home with him all day, so he’s not short of human company or affection. He sleeps beautifully downstairs but did go through a restless stage as a teen.

@ImplementingTheDennisSystem

Aaah a lockdown dog that you now can't be bothered with. Don't worry OP, there are millions like you, so you're not alone. You'll rehome the dog eventually, saying you did all you could (but you didnt really and you know it) so you may as well get on and do it now. You're welcome 🥱

I completely agree with you. Now that life is returning to normal many can’t cope with pets that they bought during lockdown. Labs are energetic dogs who need walked and stimulation - not to sleep all day.

It can be like having a small child and I think more people should be aware of this!

I would try a dog biscuit before bed. We do that now and he's much better in the morning. We also take him out just before bed round the block so he's had as many wees as possible. He's a similar age to yours.

He also wasn't allowed upstairs but he's now learned how to open doors. So at some point, he tiptoes upstairs, opens the bedroom door and slips into bed next to me in the space between my arms and legs as I always sleep on my side! I never even hear him. Any other time of the day, he stomps around the house like an elephant so he obviously knows he has to be quiet! He doesn't do it every night!

My parents’ dogs were allowed upstairs in the morning but were trained not to go up at any other time.

I don’t really understand how you can be exhausted getting up at 6. It’s not that early.

They're social though and like to be with their people. Personally, I like my sleep so my dog sleeps with me. He is never up before me and often stays in bed if it's cold

Dogs are polyphasic sleepers which means their sleep pattern is very different from humans. Maybe all these dogs sleeping in bedrooms are being forced into a different sleeping pattern to which they choose. (or their lives are so boring there is no real need to wake up and get on with the day).

Dogs like to sleep up on things hence they like to sleep on furniture and our beds but if you give them a raised area to sleep where they can happily sleep for short bursts that will be more in keeping with their natural sleep pattern. Dogs sleep for roughly 45 mins and will then stir from their deep sleep. They do not sleep for 8 hours at a stretch like humans

We have a Bernese who is also not allowed upstairs, ever. She went through a phase of this as a pup. We got a dog flap fitted and it stopped pretty fast. Good luck!

@BlueBellona & @ImplementingTheDennisSystem, bloody hell! I hope you both warmed up before those stretches . Where does OP say her dog isn’t walked or stimulated and sleeps all day? She just sounds like the tired owner of an adolescent owner, lockdown or not.

6am isn’t that early. Go to bed earlier if you’re tired.

I spent most of ddogs first year sleeping on the sofa as DH didnt want her upstairs and she cried. It turned out she was playing us! She slept fine on her own. We then moved..to a bungalow, for the first 6 months she slept in the hallway but now I let her sleep in my room. DH has his own room (medical equipment) He was a bit but not his problem. She jumps on my bed but when I tell her its my bedtime she gets off. With the cost of fuel going up my bedwarmer may become useful!

Yeah maybe my dog is really bored? I don't know. How can you tell?

He's not destructive and seems to enjoy life. He is a lazy arse who doesn't want to get up in the morning when it's cold though he often gets up for a wander in the night.

I'm just living with a dog in a way that works for us

[quote BalladOfBarryAndFreda]**@BlueBellona* & @ImplementingTheDennisSystem*, bloody hell! I hope you both warmed up before those stretches . Where does OP say her dog isn’t walked or stimulated and sleeps all day? She just sounds like the tired owner of an adolescent owner, lockdown or not.[/quote]
he sleeps a lot on the day and is very good at being left in the day. clearly the dog is left to sleep all day by this comment. This isn’t normal for an 18 month old lab who needs a lot of exercise.

I think you meant an adolescent dog btw. As for lockdown dogs, so many people got dogs in lockdown and now can’t cope now life is returning to normal.

@katedan

Thank you so much for all of your responses, really helpful to have some things to try. He is very food led!

He’s a lab. They go by their stomach.

Christ. This board has the god awful reputation it does for good reasons. It’s by far the worst board on MN for judgement and bitching aside from AIBU.

Getting a dog does not mean the dog rules the house and all human rights go out of the window. While people do need to adapt to having a dog, dogs also need to live to learn with some of the rules in the house, and that includes not demanding to be number one in the pecking order.

Yes, a dog should bark if it needs to go out and the human of course needs to get up then to accommodate that. But not wanting to be up at 6:00 or to have the dog sleep upstairs does not make someone a bad owner and does not mean that someone has bought a lockdown puppy they’ve just lost interest in.

If you let your dog upstairs when it barks then your dog has learned to bark to be allowed upstairs. Your dogs rule the roost. Well done.

To the person who said having a dog is like having a small child, last time I checked it wasn’t considered the norm to let children get away with whatever behaviour they want and for the adults to do what the kids want for a quiet life.

I have two dogs, one sleeps in his bed with my daughter in her room and the other on my bed. They would howl all night if I kept them downstairs. Even the cat has to be on one of the beds!

Honestly it sounds like you’re not suited to dog ownership and don’t love him. He would probably have a better life in another home.