I found this re NO which is a bit more measured...basically make sure your dog knows what you are No..ING. Long CnP re the use of No....
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Daisy at Houndability as to why we shouldn't use "No" to try and teach our dogs "THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "NO" AND OTHER WORDS
Yesterday I saw a comment on a thread, which got me thinking. Many people know that dogs don't speak our language, and so the only meaning of words is what we condition the word to mean. Many people also are aware that the use of the word "no" is sometimes controversial. And sometimes people say that "no" means nothing to the dog. So surely we can teach a dog what "no" means by conditioning it to mean something?
The problem here is what "no" means to us humans. We use "no" to mean "stop that". And "stop that" is actually really vague. I'm going to go off into a weird analogy here, but please bear with me.
You are in someone's house, and you don't speak their language and they don't speak yours. You are in their living room, sat on the couch, drinking a cup of tea. They say "wibble" to you, in a neutral tone of voice. You have no idea what "wibble" means. You carry on. They say "wibble" to you in a harsh tone of voice, with a displeased look on their face. Ok, so you can use your rational human brain to think they maybe they aren't happy about something. It might be totally unrelated to you, but let's not overcomplicate things. They shout "wibble" and you get off the sofa, put the cup of tea down, and get away from them. They stop shouting.
You have learnt (by being intimidated) that "wibble" means they aren't happy about something you're doing - but you don't know what!
Next time you're in this room, you see a cup of tea near the sofa, you think "ok the tea isn't for me, I won't touch it". But the person still says "wibble" at you. They don't need to shout, now - you have worked out they aren't pleased, and you want to avoid being shouted at again. But what are they saying "wibble" for? You didn't touch the tea. The person continues to say "wibble", getting a little angry at your defiance. What on earth do they want? Eventually you decide just to get off the sofa and out of the room. The person looks pleased.
Next time you're in this room, you decide to avoid the tea and the sofa. But you're getting told "wibble" again! Argh! What do they want????
Theres 2 points to this long story.
- How do you attach meaning to the word? If I say "wibble" at you, with a neutral tone and neutral face, you have no idea that it means I don't like what you're doing and I want you to stop. So to attach that meaning, the person in the story shouted once. How would you attach the "stop that" meaning to the word "wibble"?
- Using words like "no", or mean "stop that", doesn't tell the dog what you DO want them to do. The person in my story doesn't have any idea what it is that they're being told "wibble" for. They don't mean to do the wrong thing, but they can't work out what to do. They're also frustrated, because they're trying to do the right thing but keep getting it wrong, and there's no guidance. The person saying "wibble" is also frustrated, as this guest keeps doing the wrong thing even though they've been told not to!!
The "wibble" person doesn't mind you on the sofa, and they actually made the tea for you. They just don't like shoes on their rug. But how could you work that out with the info you were given?
The word "no" isn't inherently a bad thing, and we are all human so we tend to use words like humans do. Saying "no" doesn't make you a bad person! But if you're using it to try to change your dog's behaviour, there may be a much more efficient way (and also probably more enjoyable for both you and your dog) to do that (i.e. what do you want the dog to do instead).
The problem with "no", isn't the word itself - it's how we use it. It's what meaning we attach, how we do it, and how we often confuse things by using the same word in many different situations."