Please be gentle! No decisions at all have been made yet and I'll be reading and taking in advice on here, not ignoring it I promise. This may be a long post to capture everything that might matter.
I've got two children with autism. One is absolutely desperate for dog, and has been for years now. We have never had dogs, our lifestyle hasn't worked for one, and we've said no every single time. We've had cats, much loved, and have just one left now after losing others to old age. Our other autistic child adores the cats and is slightly nervous of dogs in general, but not to the point that he wouldn't be happy with one he knew well. He generally loves animals.
Things are changing. We will be moving next year to somewhere far more dog friendly (more rural, large garden, bigger house in general). Like many people, we are at home a lot more than before, and I will be working wholly from home once we move. Our children are getting older - the youngest will be seven by the time we move. I have read a LOT of things about the emotional benefit of dog ownership to autistic children and my daughter is really struggling to connect with others, to a painful point. She is overeating and walking a dog would be a good way of building exercise into an otherwise very screen-focused existence. BUT we are just not dog people, and I have seen how frequently people regret getting dogs. I do like individual dogs owned by friends, but have never had the urge to own one.
Given the kids and the cat my understanding is that we would be very unlikely to find the right rescue dog, so we'd be looking at buying a puppy.
The alternative, which I'm very drawn to, is a Borrow My Doggy type thing, but my daughter is pleading for her own dog.
We have enough money to train and insure a dog, and are diligent sorts who would make sure it was well taken care of day to day. I really hate the idea of drool but know there are breeds that don't do this as much. Fur I can cope with, in moderation, so again, choosing the right breed is important.
In terms of general life upheaval, we lead a fairly non-spontaneous life in general. We do go on holiday a couple of times a year - I'd happily use kennels (speaking hypothetically - I see lots of dog owners are very against them). Otherwise we go on short trips that could probably include a dog. We could probably also find friends happy to dog sit if not frequently asked. I would find it hard though not to be able to be out all day.
Pros:
- emotional and physical benefit for kids (and this one probably counts for about ten bullet points)
- I quite like the idea of being forced out for walks too, as I tend to laziness and need more exercise
- many positive stories from friends with dogs about how great they are in the family
Cons:
- changes our lives - however little we live crazy lives, we don't have the limitation of a dog right now
- puppy like having a baby - sounds exhausting
- clueless, frankly, as reading about the necessary stuff doesn't equal experience
- cost
- cat may hate us forever
Writing it all out, it seems like total madness to even contemplate getting a dog. But if I can make my daughter's life even slightly better, is this something we can do without total disaster ensuing?