Please be kind. I've just had a really bad experience with my reactive dog and I just need somewhere to offload it.

[Shoeshine283]

Our dog is nearly 2. He's always been nervous and reactive. It's utterly exhausting. We manage him carefully at home and he has a lovely life with us.

We've come away on holiday. Found a lovely cottage, middle of nowhere, large enclosed garden. Cost us a fortune. The dog and I were having a nap while DH and DS do a food shop. The owner unexpectedly came and knocked on the patio doors to check in and see if everything was OK. Dog went absolutely ballistic. Barking, lunging and growling. I shut him away in the bedroom (where dogs aren't allowed! There was no where else to put him). Apologies profusely. I will never forget the look on her face. I fully expecting a phone call to ask us to leave. DH is going to phone her when he gets back to apologise again.

I'm absolutely dreading the rest of the holiday. I dont think I can do this much longer. I've only been doing this for 2 years and my nerves are shredded.

We've spent a fortune on behaviourists etc. He's a lovely boy when he's with his people (grand total of 5) but this is really hard.

Tail not table would be wagging 😀

Not sure this will be much help, but I have similar issues with my rescue dog (reacts to other dogs and visitors). We've had her since she was two and she is now 5. Slowly slowly things are still improving, so it is still possible to make progress.
I've accepted that she is how she is and these days I just stage-manage things to reduce the stress for her (and me). I've found that she is best with visitors when she can greet them outside the house and have time to have a good sniff (while they stand still with hands out of the way and don't make eye contact.) She will then let them in without fuss. I keep her on a lead for safety until she is properly used to them (maybe on a second or third visit). With doorbell she will inevitably bark but has learned to go in a particular room and continue her protest from there. I simply avoid other dogs when walking her and I am not shy about asking other owners to stay away or recall their dogs if they are off lead. All this adds up to me feeling that the situation is manageable, if not ideal, and as I said at the beginning, it is very very slowly improving. You have done a great thing by giving your dog a safe and loving home. Don't give up on him now!

Mine bark, lunge repeatedly at the door so it sounds like they're attacking it and one of them makes this awful squealing/screaming sound which sounds like someone/thing being murdered! It sounds horrendous and you would think they were both slavering hounds of death but the reality is they would be more likely to lick you to death if I opened the door and they could see I was pleased to see you I know that may not be the case with your dog but the initial reaction is the same regardless and really isn't unusual amongst the dogs I know/have known. I'm glad you're starting to feel better, hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your holiday

I do feel for you ok.

Have you tried a Thunder Vest for your dog? They calm my old girl down when she gets stressed. Tbh she doesn’t react like your dog, just pacing really, but it really helps.

@Sarahlou63

Another one who doesn't understand what's wrong with his reaction. Our (six!) dogs will bark enthusiastically at anyone or anything that passes the house. That's their job. When I go out I tell them "thank you" so they then know I'm in charge and they relax.

In the gentlest way possible, have you considered how your nerves are affecting your dog? It might be worth talking to a therapist rather than a behaviourist.

There’s a difference between ‘enthusiastically barking’ at people walking past their own property, and literally trying to attack the owner of the holiday cottage they’re in. Op I don’t think you’ll be asked to leave, but I’d be more worried than most of the people commenting. I’m renting a holiday let next weekend with 2 large dogs. The rules are that dogs allowed as long as they’re ‘well behaved’ and confined to the relegated areas. If one of my dogs tried to attack the owner and I had to confine it to a bedroom where it wasn’t allowed, I would probably expect be told to find alternative accommodation for the dogs. Hopefully your dh will be able to talk them round if they’re upset.

Yes my dogs bark at knocks on the door but they don't look rabid or snarling. It must be a nightmare OP. Hopefully they will be OK about it.

I must say a lot of people would hate it if they were having a nap and the cottage owner came knocking on the patio doors!

OP have not yet read full thread but just want to say I feel for you. We have 2 dogs and one is reactive. It can be really demoralising. We too have tried varioys things but have realised that he is happy at home and going for a walk to the same place. It can take a few days for him to settle if he has a reactive episode. Other dog is fine! It is limiting as we would like to go away next year and currently searching for remote,dog friendly and secure holiday places. All I can say is you have to keep it really simple. I really hope the owner is ok with you.

There’s a difference between ‘enthusiastically barking’ at people walking past their own property, and literally trying to attack the owner of the holiday cottage they’re in.

But the dog didn't try and attack anyone - he was indoors and away from the owner. It would be different if he was in the garden and leaping at the fence, but there was a boundary (door) in place and OP was perfectly able to remove the dog from the room without getting hurt.

Dogs aren't out of control because they bark and lunge - if OP couldn't control the situation that would be different, but she could. Yes, the dog wasn't "allowed" in the bedroom but putting it there was the safest and most sensible option imo.

My experience also tells me that the "no dogs on furniture/beds" rule that many holiday cottages have is a rule that comes from the letting agency, and that if you ask (and bring your own bedding and blankets) most owners are absolutely fine with it.

Also he is the softest dog in the world..but can look and sound fierce!

Ah bless you, I do understand where you are coming from. I have a reactive dog... I swear she was born like it! She's put me in so many uncomfortable situations over the years. She's 12 now and I hate to say it but not really changed. I would say this situation is potentially fuelling some anxieties you already have? I honestly don't think you need to worry about it as much as you are. Keep your dog on a lead when you are out walking, I pass reactive dogs all the time and I don't bat an eye lid. People arn't worried about your dog as much as you are I promise.

@GlutenFreeGingerCake

I must say a lot of people would hate it if they were having a nap and the cottage owner came knocking on the patio doors!

This! I’d be more annoyed at them than at the dog!

I can absolutely imagine how awful your dog must have looked and sounded because mine would have been exactly the same if startled like that. It’s awful and I really sympathise. Remember though; you had the situation under control. You put the dog safely away and you apologised to the owner.

Having a reactive dog is really, really hard. Are you part of any groups or do you follow any reactive dogs on eg Instagram? It can help to know you’re not alone!

There must be a much bigger picture here as this is just normal dog behaviour when a stranger (to your dog this person is a stranger comes to the door). The poster above saying, "this is the OWNER of the property" as if the dog should magically know that is being utterly ridiculous.

Does your dog do this out and about on walks to people (so not in his own environment when he's protecting his people)? What are other examples of the reactive behaviour?

I would absolutely hate this OP. I'm not sure I could carry on with a dog that was aggressive. If it's all bollocks from him and actually he'd lick and wag someone to death then OK, but if he would genuinely attack them I'd hate it

Sending OP. We are at the beginning of our journey with a similar kind of dog. It's hard work.

Thanks again everyone. You've made me feel so much better and I appreciate the advice off everyone with similar dogs.

We do really well with him at home. It's been a steep learning curve but we've worked out what suits him and we stick to it. I was anxious about how this holiday would go so it was a bad start but you've helped me put it into perspective.

For the PP who asked. DH is amazing with him, far more relaxed about the whole thing than me and is able to quickly move past the reactions. Hes a postman and sees every type on dog behaviour on his round everyday and understands that some dogs are just wired this way.

I'm fine now. Hopefully we can enjoy the rest of the holiday, up early, quiet walks and no more surprise visits!

I was a member of the reactive dogs UK on Facebook but I found the daily updates of other people's bad experiences wasn't really helping. Once I'd read all the files then it wasn't doing much for me anymore although I day like today I'm sure the members would have been really supportive.

Bryonyshcmyony so far it's alls bollocks from him. It all stems from fear. I think this is where I struggle, the what ifs. What if he'd been loose in the garden, what if he did go for her and bite. There's a first time for everything. This is where my anxiety kicks in.

Hes a postman and sees every type on dog behaviour on his round everyday and understands that some dogs are just wired this way
Really happy to read this, my postie is lovely and never seems phased by the ruckus that precedes me opening the door to him but I do worry that he's alarmed or annoyed by it so it's nice to think he might understand like your DH

That's great. He is brilliant with all the dogs on his round. Always has a pocket full of treats and works with the owners of nervous dogs to build a good relationship with them. He's on a rural round so lots of dogs have freedom on the properties and he knows all of his customers by name.

You don't say what type of dog you but but I get the impression that he's not a small dog.

I have a small, very laid back, dog but if something spooks her when she's asleep in the garden she will do exactly as your dog did: growling, barking, her whole body ready to move, it's what a startled dog does.

There's a very good reason for the expression 'let sleeping dogs lie'.

You dog was in a strange place, having a doze. Her sudden knocking would have really surprised him and he probably did look scary, but he didn't actually do anything other than bark and growl; growling sounds mean but it isn't anything more than a warning that a dog is not happy with the situation.

It sounds like you're more than able to cope with him, you took him out of the situation without him reacting. A really wound up, out of control dog wouldn't be so calm about being handled and remove to the bedroom.

I agree with pp, it's not necessary to ring the owner of the cottage and apologise again, you've apologised already.

She's was probably a bit shocked at your dog's reaction but tbh if you know there's a strange dog in the cottage it's a bit silly to go knocking on the patio door and then be shocked when the dog reacts, as most dog's will.

Might be an idea to have a word with your vet about calming medicine for him when you get home.

Try to enjoy your holiday.

@GlutenFreeGingerCake

I must say a lot of people would hate it if they were having a nap and the cottage owner came knocking on the patio doors!

I would. I hate holiday cottages where the owner is on-site or nearby and don't book them if I know this is the case. I'd be seriously pissed off if the owner turned up out of the blue.

Does the cottage not have a front door? I think it's really intrusive to come round and knock on the patio door.

Did the fact that it was patio doors make it worse, OP? Being able to see the stranger through the doors.

You have my sympathy, as my dog was reactive to other dogs when I got her, not to people at all so much easier to deal with than yours, but I know the stress and worry and how exhausting it is to be constantly on the alert.

She's still not great but much better, and it's very manageable, fortunately for me.

I hope there are no repercussions and you can enjoy your holiday.

It all stems from fear. I think this is where I struggle, the what ifs. What if he'd been loose in the garden, what if he did go for her and bite. There's a first time for everything. This is where my anxiety kicks in

And I totally understand this, we had a reactive GSD when I was a teenager and I watched my DM go through exactly the same anxiety and what if's. For the record she (the dog) never actually managed to bite anyone (barring a tiny nip to my (adult) cousins' backside as he scrambled up our loft ladder, don't ask!) so it is possible with a dog like this. She was entirely bonded to my DM and would lunge, snarl and bark if anyone else (including me) attempted to enter a room my DM was in so it wasn't easy to manage as a family but we managed. She could be a sweetheart at other times and despite everything I really loved her and was gutted when we lost her aged 9 to CJD

@Shoeshine283

That's great. He is brilliant with all the dogs on his round. Always has a pocket full of treats and works with the owners of nervous dogs to build a good relationship with them. He's on a rural round so lots of dogs have freedom on the properties and he knows all of his customers by name.

Your DH sounds lovely