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The doghouse

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Original poster

Using doggy daycare for a "weekend off"

92 replies

copernicium · 15/07/2021 22:53

I don't want this to sound judgemental, I'm actually posting because I don't want to fall out with my friend - I'm struggling to give her the enthusiasm she seems to want when describing what a wonderful time dog is having at daycare.

So she works school hours and is out at activities in an evening. Dog gets walked, love and attention outside of these hours, don't get me wrong. But then at weekends, she's started taking him to doggy daycare for the weekend, including overnight - so they can have the weekend as a family. They then go on nice countryside walks, visit NT etc.

I just don't understand why you would have a dog and send her away so you can go and do dog friendly activities. She says dog loves it, gets two walks a day and has made loads of friends.

Is this a thing? Is it normal to use daycare because the dog enjoys it, not just because you need it? Am I doing something wrong in keeping my dog with me all the time?

I don't know, I just don't know what to say to her when she raves about it every week...

OP posts:
rookiemere · 16/07/2021 08:46

Rookiedog occasionally gets weekend walks if DH is away as the deal was that he's primarily DHs dog, but I'd be loath for DDog to stay away overnight when he didn't need to - his couch is at home plus it costs a lot of money.

Surely the main enjoyment of having a dog is taking him with you to the beach or a new country walk and see what he makes of it. But then DS is a teen so rarely comes on our outings these days.

As people have said, it's better that the dog is at least somewhere he enjoys with other dogs and people to look after him rather than being on his own, but it does sound as if their lifestyle is incompatible with having a dog if they don't want it at weekends.

rookiemere · 16/07/2021 08:48

Plus the more ddog gets used to the other place then I'd imagine he would be harder for her to train and control as he'll not see them as his primary owner. Disclaimer: I know very little about dog training other than watching Badly Behaved Dogs on TV

KingAragorn · 16/07/2021 08:53

I love my dog and he is part of the family. He’s my little shadow and we love doing things with him, not without. Because of that, it seems odd to me she sends him every weekend. I understand wanting a break/going to places where it’s not dog friendly but I would expect it as a occasional thing not every weekend!

I suppose as long as the dog is happy and fulfilled that’s the main thing - it’s better than him being left all weekend by himself.

elevenses75 · 16/07/2021 08:56

If it was occasional weekends then I get it, but every weekend is a bit much imo what is the point of having it if he’s at home whilst you worked then away every weekend. My dog is here 24/7 he can be left alone, he doesn’t like long walks but loves the fields with other dogs. I enjoy him, love watching him grow and training him. I just don’t see why they have a dog tbh everyone is different I know.

TiddyAndFletch · 16/07/2021 08:58

so they can have the weekend as a family. They then go on nice countryside walks, visit NT etc.

It's this I find strange - countryside walks are such an obvious take the dog along activity. And many NT/EH properties allow dogs. I could understand this for an occasional visit to a non-dog-friendly place.

Mrstreehouse · 16/07/2021 09:04

I have a friend that does this, increasingly more and more. She got a puppy in lockdown and tbh don’t think it’s that well trained and is a bit of a rouge dog, jumpy and chews everything. I think they do it to get a break. The last two times I’ve seen them for socially distanced walks, they haven’t even brought the dog because, I guess, it’s a liability and they are embarrassed with its behaviour. We went camping with them once and they couldn’t join in the festivities ( there were a group of us) because the dog was getting way too over excited and barking. Maybe they are bored of it or overwhelmed?

Mandalay246 · 16/07/2021 09:04

Dogs want to be with their pack/humans/family. I think what your friend is doing is shit. Why bother having a dog

This. Seems to me they got a dog for the wrong reasons.

Sittingonabench · 16/07/2021 09:20

While I don’t think I would use dog daycare like that, there are several reasons to right now. I know many dog walking and boarding businesses really struggled during lockdown and barely survived. Even this year with holidays being curtailed, they haven’t rebounded. If you had a great dog Walker/boarder and the disposable income I might put some effort into finding weekends that they could be boarded. I do see my dog Walker as an investment, my dog is happy with them and I feel better knowing she is safe and cared for. It might be that she is trying to do a soft sell and that your reaction is perfect as you don’t intend to do that.

warmfluffytowels · 16/07/2021 12:24

[quote copernicium]@warmfluffytowels I've been on walks with her and my dog, he has none of these issues...
I know most places are still restricted but they do all their weekend things in proper outdoor, dog friendly places. They aren't pub/restaurant/cinema people. [/quote]
The temperature where I am today is 26 degrees - far far too hot to walk a dog in all day long.

I'm a dog walker and none of my clients have been out for their full hour let alone all day.

Original poster
copernicium · 16/07/2021 13:14

@Mirrorxx exactly - because you're working. That's what it's there for.

@Mrstreehouse it's trained to an inch of its life. Doesn't move out of its bed, doesn't jump, doesn't bark, is sociable. Not a handful at all.

@Sittingonabench hmm never thought of this. She knows how much I adore my dog and take him out though.

@warmfluffytowels it's been hot for about two days...this has been going on since whenever they reopened.

OP posts:
Mirrorxx · 16/07/2021 13:21

@copernicium not just when we are working. He sometimes goes when we have the day off as he loves playing with his friends. He is very happy to go and would go more days a week if I let him

warmfluffytowels · 16/07/2021 13:53

I really don't see why this bothers you so much.

Do you feel the same about parents using childcare at weekends to have nights out or weekends away? Why is this any different?

Original poster
copernicium · 16/07/2021 16:40

Because I think it's sad that a dog sees his humans for two hours a day, and when they are doing dog friendly things, they send him away for the weekend.

And because I just don't know what to say when she raves about how amazing it is and seems to want some kind of praise/response...

OP posts:
warmfluffytowels · 16/07/2021 16:42

Lots of dogs love daycare and go off without a backward glance. Honestly, I wouldn't get upset about it. Mine used to go (and yes, occasionally at weekends too) and he absolutely loved it. On days off, he'd drag me towards his daycare and cry when we didn't go in!

You don't need to say anything - just "oh, that's nice" and change the subject.

rookiemere · 16/07/2021 16:46

Thing is dogs can be rather omnipresent- that's why I didn't really want one and insist that DH is primary carer.
I suspect they are regretting having got a dog and this weekend doggy day care is her way of avoiding the root problem, but by not building dog into their weekend life she's actually exacerbating the problem.

Next time she mentions it, I'd say something like " Oh but isn't NT place dog friendly? Wouldn't doggo enjoy a run around there ? "
But she will probably just say how much doggo enjoys daycare. Kind of sad but not a lot you can do.

zafferana · 16/07/2021 16:50

To me, she sounds like someone who doesn't actually want to have a dog! Because why have a dog and go for walks without it? Surely that's the whole, fucking point of having a dog, so you can go on nice family walks WITH THE DOG????

olivethegreat · 16/07/2021 18:22

I will use doggy daycare when I visit my parents who don't like dogs, this will be for an afternoon about every 3 weeks. I've just put the application in for a rescue dog so let's see if it rules me out!! If it does then I agree a dog is not for me but I don't see it as ridiculous! I've already sourced somewhere and spoken to them before making my application and it will also be a good socialisation opportunity surely ? Nd we will also use a (in home) boarder when we go to the theatre etc. 99pc of the time the dog would be with us.

olivethegreat · 16/07/2021 18:24

Although to be fair I'd only go to dog friendly NT places and beaches , the daycare is just to see people who don't want to see my dog, and trips into London (the latter maybe 2-3 times a year)

warmfluffytowels · 16/07/2021 18:51

@zafferana

To me, she sounds like someone who doesn't actually want to have a dog! Because why have a dog and go for walks without it? Surely that's the whole, fucking point of having a dog, so you can go on nice family walks WITH THE DOG????
Well, in weather like this, you don't walk your dog all day - you keep it at home because that's far, far safer. I know OP says this has been going on for a while, but on days like today, keeping your dog at home or in a controlled environment like daycare is a far safer choice than bringing them with you.

There is so much judgement from other dog owners on here - I hate it. As long as the dog is happy, why does it matter? The dog doesn't understand it's missing out!

drpet49 · 16/07/2021 19:10

** Owners who find their dogs inconvenient, leave them on their own for hours on end or regularly exclude them from family life shouldn't have them imo.

When you have a dog you accept the limitations they bring with them. You don't expect to have the best of having them and not having them when it doesn't suit.**

^This. You friend is an idiot and doesn’t deserve a dog. She should rehome it. Begs the question why the family even got a dog in the first place.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 16/07/2021 19:16

My dog has a sleepover with his doggy daycare person when DH and I want a night out and none of our adult children are available to look after him. It’s a rare event but he (dog) can’t be left alone for longer than a couple of hours, so if we want to go for a meal and drinks, we need to book care for him. It’s not bad, it’s responsible. The home boarding lady is fully insured, she doesn’t have multiple boarding dogs at once, she holds pet first aid qualifications and he is absolutely pampered when he goes there. No guilt here, thanks.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 16/07/2021 19:18

For the record though, I am otherwise at home with my dog 24/7. He goes to daycare maybe once every 6 weeks for various non dog friendly things.

Charliebradbury · 16/07/2021 19:24

See I'm using doggy daycare in the school holidays. 1 or 2 days a week. This is so I can do things with the kids that we can't do with the dog. Is that not the point of doggy daycare? I will admit that it is also so I can have a bit of a break. He is a lovely 6 month old border collie but 6 weeks of 2 kids and him might kill me if I don't get some sort of break, my dh is working longer hours till mid August so can't help out. It was the best alternative to keep everyone happy.

Dontdripme · 16/07/2021 19:27

Dogs are not all equal though. I couldn't take my dogs out for long walk or places were there are going to be lots of other dogs. They are massively loved and part of our family.

Whydoiwearsomuchleopardprint · 16/07/2021 19:43

I think that’s really sad for the dog, who should be part of the family! Ours only ever goes if we are away or out for day and even then we worry about him and miss him! He would hate to go that much. What’s the point of having a dog if you don’t want to walk it or spend time with it?? Plus there are cost implications of getting it looked after all the time I would think.